elijah >:)

Written junior year

Maria didn’t look down. She should’ve looked down, but instead, she looked at the small crowd surrounding her. Particularly, she caught the eyes of a couple to her left. The man was bald by fashion choice, and the woman’s purple dress and colorful chunky jewelry made her look like an english teacher. Maria stared at them and they stared back, judging her. As she looked on at their anticipating faces, she realized how the past few weeks had been snowballing to this awful night.

Today was Danny’s birthday, and for weeks she had been pestering him about what he would like. But instead, Danny decided to be himself and turn it into a joke. Whenever Maria asked, Danny would simply put on this smile, the one where he bites his lower lip and raises his eyebrows as if there was an inside joke Maria doesn’t know about, and said “you’ll know what I want on my birthday”. Which was all fun and games, except Danny and Maria had been dating for 5 years; their relationship was not a game.

Maria decided to buy Danny an Aaron Rodgers jersey, because it’s the only thing she could think of that Danny liked besides tits and Rocket League. She put it in a box and wrapped it in football themed wrapping paper left over from her nephew’s baptism. She decided on giving it to him at Buddy’s, their favorite casual diner, but last minute Danny decided he wanted to go to an art exhibit opening beforehand. So, Maria had to get dressed up, do her hair, and put on eyeliner, which wasn’t symmetrical, but if she fixed it they would have been late.

They arrived at the exhibit. Only 8 other people showed up. Despite this, the artist still acted as if he was in the louvre. The concept of the show was that he took pictures of normal people on the street and then went home and painted their portrait. Except, upon examination, Maria found that all of the paintings were of older women, and almost all of them had this face of slight surprise. It made her question if any of their pictures were taken consensually. Occasionally, she looked at the other patrons to see if they shared the same disgust. Most, however, seemed to be in awe of this guy’s subpar impasto. One brutish pair even took a selfie with one of the portraits. The two were college age boys who were far too young to have their kind of money, and far too incompetent to buy anything good with it. They wore expensive yet boring brands, unaware that the mediocre logo did not constitute fashion. It seemed as if the price tag was akin to a blanket a child ties around their shoulders. And in between them was the terrible portrait of a woman with groceries in her hands. On its own, her face was unusual, as if she had an awkward encounter with the viewer. But next to these boys, her expression was one of a forced acceptance. This was a situation Maria had seen many times, mostly at shitty bars with men who could legally drink and women who could legally punch them.

The gallery itself felt no bigger than her bedroom, and with the walls absolutely plastered in the strange portraits. They seemed to be in columns, with every other column protruding from the wall slightly. The wall became a wave, which made Maria spin. She quietly tugged on Danny’s arm and asked if they could leave, but Danny had somehow floated into this discussion between the artist and a group of 4 local art students. All of them had bold fashion choices and all of them looked exactly the same. The conversation was dreadfully boring quips about artists they found inspiring and how much they liked the show. It seemed as though the students were so enamored by the medium, they couldn’t see through to the actual content. It was amazing how many words spewed out of their mouth, and how at the same time so little was said.

Maybe it was the repetitive conversation, maybe it was the fact that her hair was tied too tight, but the walls certainly weren’t helping, and Maria began to feel sick. Like Danny, she had her own unique smile. Hers was a simple friendly smile, that to all others was nothing more than what it presented. She showed off to everyone in the group, making sure everyone could see just how joyous she was. But when she reached Danny, she made direct eye contact, and raised her eyelids just so. This was Maria’s well mannered way of saying “get me the fuck out of here”. Danny, usually, was smart and took the hint. But instead, he panicked. Danny called for the crowd’s attention. Everyone, including the artist, surrounded Danny and Maria. He got down on one knee and pulled out a small suede box.

That’s when Maria looked up. She couldn’t believe what was happening to her, and looked to the crowd to confirm her feelings of shock. Instead, she found nine faces lighting up with joy at her nightmare. Nine. The worst number of people possible. Nine people is large enough to be a crowd, and small enough to be intimate with each person. And they were all looking at her and her wonky eyeliner, with the wonderful backdrop of retired women looking frightened. She watched the art students, and how they lit up at the surface level thoughts of romance. She watched the college boys, and noticed how they cowarded a little at the thought of commitment. She watched the couple, and knew that they would take this moment and pretend that their own failed relationship was just as romantic. In fact, their relationship was just as romantic.

Five years, Danny and Maria had been dating. Five years she had been pestering him to finally do it, grow up, get a real job and real hobbies, bend the knee, and propose. Finally he did it and he did it so wrong. She looked down when she finally realized how truly ugly the couple in front of her was. She looked at the ring; an opal, half a carat, and half of Danny’s bank account. Behind the ring was Danny, once again wearing his dumb grin that pisses Maria off. She wished so desperately to disappear: to fade off into the walls, and yet somehow she knew she was already there.

“Yes” answered Maria. She didn’t think about it, she just said it. How could she not? Hadn’t she suffered enough? She put on that dress, she did her hair, she held a boring conversation, she smiled when she didn’t want to, she put on this whole show to make Danny happy. Oh, and Danny was happy. The little crowd clapped, and the two frat bros cheered. Danny jolted up and hugged Maria, lifting her to her feet, and placed her back down harshly on her heels. She stumbled a little, and everyone laughed. Danny took her hand, and slid the ring onto her finger. From out of nowhere, a camera flashed. The artist poked out from behind the camera, and winked at her. Finally, Danny took Maria out of the exhibit.

In the car, Maria tried to talk to Danny, but he got a call from a friend. He put the call on bluetooth as he drove them to Buddy’s. Maria watched as he talked fervently, a bit about the engagement, but mostly about the other things Danny cared about. She looked out the window and watched as the passing shops and businesses turned off their lights and closed for the evening. They came to a raised bridge that went over a river, and waited at the gate for it to lower. Just then, Maria looked down at her ring and noticed it: a little chip dead center. She took the ring off and held it in her palm, as she watched the river flow by her.

Written senior year

One morning, William Bechler turned over in bed and found his wife with hair made of coral. Normally, Marissa’s hair was thin, damaged from years of flat ironing it, and fervently redyed since she went gray so young. But this morning her hair was a strong sun orange, made of twisting coral branches in which tiny fish nested. Anyone else would have found it terrifying, but William was in awe. He laid there gawking at the coral crown, until his wife awoke and looked him in the eyes. She screamed and jumped out of bed, yelling “Your eyes! Your eyes!” She pulled him out of bed and hurried him to the bathroom, where he was met with his own reflection. There, he found his normal dull and droopy face except for his eyes, which were radically different from the deep blue eyes he used to have. His new eyes had large black pupils much larger than a human iris, and a thin silver membrane where the whites used to be. He was so shocked, he buried his face in his hands and kept his eyes shut, and would not open them until he saw a doctor.

At the hospital, there was a swarm of doctors, nurses, a couple janitors, and even a patient that came to see William’s phenomenal eyes. William was an intolerant man, and normally would have bickered and complained by being poked and prodded so much. But instead, he found himself enthralled in his environment. No matter who came into the room, they all had some fishy quality to them. Some had gills, others had fins, one person even had the head of a hammerhead shark. He pointed it out to several people, but every time he was dismissed. As every doctor in the building came to examine him, the room slowly turned more oceanic as well. Seaweed sprouted from the ground, sand poured out of the cabinets, and a faint blue tint crowded the air. Still, no matter who he asked, they all denied the change of scenery.

As the staff danced around William, he looked to his wife to share the moment. Instead, he found her sulking in the corner with a sea worm in her fingers like a cigarette, with a strange gooey secretion bleeding out of it. So infatuated with William were the doctors that none had asked her to take it outside. She spoke often, with little quips demanding the doctors to stop poking around and fix it already, but was often met with no response. William, in a shockingly feeble tone, asked her to calm down and let the doctors do their work. Marissa was so disgusted at how lovely he was being that she blew the secretion in William’s face and left.

Still, none of the medical staff could figure out what was wrong with him. Some doctors thought he was faking it for drugs, others recommended removing the eyes, but most were just fascinated by it. It was only until a veterinarian came by that the mystery was solved. After only a few seconds of examining William, the veterinarian pointed out the obvious. “Your eyes are turning into fish eyes,” he said. “You still got your eyelids and your old human retina, but on the current path, I’d say you’ll have fully developed fish eyes by the end of the day”.

The doctors sent William home after it was concluded that he wasn’t in any pain, and therefore didn’t need to be treated. Stuck in traffic on the car ride home, he noticed that some of the cars next to him were actually truck-sized catfish, sucking the bottom of the road as they slowly trudged on. Marissa, annoyed by the stillness, slammed the horn like it was a drum. As she did, bubbles rose up from the grill of the car. William found it delightful, and giggled like a baby at the scene. His wife gave him a look of worry, as normally William would have berated her for being so rude. Above him, a school of fish flew in the sky, giant kelp columns rose from the ground, and a colorful coral barrier separated the highway. In William's mirror, the cutest little baby clownfish slowly approached. He rolled down his window and gently held the creature, but he couldn’t help but notice the crunchy noise it made as he caressed it. He turned to his wife, who looked at him as if he was eating garbage. “Honey,” she said, “that’s a plastic bag”.

Marissa wanted to keep William home as she thought his delusions made him far too giddy. But the two had been saving up to retire to Florida, and William was keen on getting there. He was dropped off at his job, where he worked for a property management firm. On that day in particular was eviction day, when William was forced to do the dirty work of kicking people out. He first went to his desk to see if he could hide out the assignment. The office was just as beautiful as the rest of the world, with a flourishing sea bed growing between file cabinets and cubicles. A mosaic pattern, formed by light hitting the waves above, slowly flowed over the floor. His cubicle, however, was a grotesque scene. Sectioned off in the very far corner of the room, his desk was an algae covered machine, perhaps the engine of a gravely fated plane. The little bits of bone scattered about the floor certainly didn’t help the atmosphere. The air around him was thick and oddly warm, with a distinct green hue. He sat down on an aged hunk of metal where he tried to type on his keyboard, but it was made of dying coral, and crunched under his fingers. Perhaps most disturbingly was the spot where his only son’s photo should have been. It was taken when he joined the navy years ago, and showed the young boy with his shaven head in full uniform. It made William smile to see his son try so very hard to look stoic, but his baby fat cheeks wouldn’t let him. But the portrait wasn’t there. Instead, there was a comically small carcass of a freshly dead whale. Like most whales after dying, the body released an astronomical amount of gas, and blew up like a balloon. It was only a matter of time until it exploded. William picked up a pen, slick with algae, and gently poked the whale. He flinched, thinking it would pop, but it just continued to float around pathetically. He rubbed his hands anxiously as he watched the little time bomb sway on his desk. Luckily for him, his boss called him into his office.

William went to his boss’s office, who had the gross head of an angler fish. He handed William a folder of papers and gave him instructions, none of which William heard as he was too distracted by the snot and slime that spurred from his boss’s mouth as he spoke.

As he left the office he flipped through the folder and took note of the address. The place was an old crumbling building next to a polluted river. William had been to this building many times, as this was where the company put problematic tenants. He had nothing but negative associations with the building, but as he climbed the stairs of the building, the world around him dove deeper and deeper into the ocean. The creaky wooden steps turned into rigid water torn stone, the overpainted walls grew nooks in which little creatures swam, and the dust in the air turned into small aquatic creatures waiting to be fed upon. By this point, William’s eyelids had rescinded, only forcing him deeper into this new aquatic world. Just before reaching the top step, a tiny shrimp floated in front of him, only to be eaten by a larger trout, and that one eaten by a grotesque eel. The eel swam out the open window, where a blue whale rose from below and swallowed the eel whole, all in front of William’s own eyes. It was a mortifying moment for William, and yet he couldn’t help but feel an aura of beauty coming from the scene.

He knocked on the door of the tenant, and was greeted by a curvaceous woman with a blob fish head. Her flat eyes saddened as she realized who William was. William struggled to keep his laugh in as he looked at her. She leaned on her hip and tilted her head. “You don’t have to do this,” she said.

William held his folder to his mouth as barely got out the words, “I really do”.

She let her hoodie fall a bit to reveal herself more. She leaned forward and her fat nose swung. “I’ll do anything,” she said.

William couldn’t take it and broke down laughing. He pointed at her and said some indescribable nonsense between giggles. She scowled at him and gave a little “hmph”, which made her blubbery lips jiggle, sending William deeper into laughter. She slammed the door shut as William had a fit on the floor.

He went outside to collect himself. He rubbed the sweat off his forehead as he was still laughing. It was the most fun at work he had in a long time. He leaned his head up toward the sun and took a deep breath. He then turned and caught a glimpse of his reflection in the building window. In the background, he could see a school of teal fish hiding between colorful coral reefs. Sunlight dripped down from the sky and sparkled on the fish’s scales. Dolphins jumped and played in the sky, splashing about as if it were a real ocean. Then there was William. Dull and bland, with increasingly thinning hair and thickening wrinkles. The only wrinkles he didn’t have were smile lines, which caused his eyes to sag more than usual. It was the first time since that morning that he examined his eyes, and as he stared deeper into them, he realized how beautiful they were. The silver membrane around his pupils was the only thing on his face to catch the sun. He looked down at his hands. It was strange, but he wished so intensely that his hands were actually flippers; that he could jump and play with the dolphins behind him.

Then, he heard the most beautiful voice in the world. He walked around the corner toward the river, where he saw the origin of the voice. On a rock piercing through the sparkling sapphire waves was a beautiful maiden, with majestic flowing hair and a long glittering tail. As she sang, she reached out to William, beckoning him closer. Because his eyelids were gone, there was nothing he could do to look away. For a single critical moment William forgot all about his life, climbed over the barrier, and dove into the water. As he was covered by the dark blue waves, a sort of magic washed over him, and his wishes fulfilled. Thin skin membranes grew between his fingers, gills formed on his neck, and his legs fused together to become a long and slim fishtail. The crystalline water swirled around him, along with a swarm of all kinds of beautiful fish. The maiden appeared before him and held his face as she sang to him. It was happening. The inside blossomed out of William and took its rightful place.

William was reported missing by his wife that night at 11 pm when he hadn’t come home from work. The police searched all over the city, but they couldn’t find him. They got a call a week later from three towns south. His body was found under an empty oil barrel washed up on the side of a bank. He was dead, certainly, but even as they lowered his casket into the ground, his eyes never stopped moving.