Academic Advising: Executive Functioning Skills

Elementary age students in general are learning these skills by parents sitting beside them on homeschool days modeling them.  Model checking off assignments, deciding how to break down bigger papers and projects, and organizing their folders and backpacks, etc.  Having consistent expectations along with the freedom to make choices under their parents' supervision gives students a chance to make choices in a safe environment and then experience the consequences of their choices.  This helps them see the results of their choices, evaluate if those consequences were good or bad, and then analyze if they should change those choices in the future.  This works best if they have consistent and predictable consequences.  Parents can provide choices for even young elementary students to make throughout the day such as picking what to wear, choosing which subject to start with, or what to eat.  Depending on what works best for your family and your child's age, you may need to limit the choices they are picking from (such as choosing between two to three different outfits, school assignments, or lunch options the parents have given them to choose from).  The important thing is to let them have the consequences of their choice. Let them experience discomfort when those choices aren't best, such as being a little cold when they picked sandals on a cold day, and be loving, but consistent with consequences/ discipline so they have a stable world with which to evaluate their choices by.  

If your child is having issues with executive functioning it is most likely to show up academically  in the late elementary and junior high years as expectations and independence grows with school work at the same time parents are starting to let go.  Here are some signs to look for to see if your junior high student is struggling with executive functioning issues. 

Your child:

•  is not good at thinking about or identifying possible consequences in a situation and seems to take risks or be surprised when those consequences happen.

• can't follow multistep directions and/or is overwhelmed when looking at the homework that has several parts to it.  They frequently forget to do the second part of a two part question or struggle taking in verbal information, such as struggling to take notes or need directions repeated a lot.

• can't break down big jobs into smaller steps - such as cleaning their room, writing a paper, doing a long term project.

• struggles with getting started or completing tasks.  They may not be able to sit down and start homework on their own or have lots of big, complex ideas they want to do or start, but then don't finish them. 

• is emotionally sensitive and reactive when criticized or melts down easily and/ or is inflexible and becomes frustrated with revised plans.

• struggles with organization and maintaining organization so often have a messy backpack and room.

• struggles to empathize with others or even identify and understand their own emotions. 

By high school students who struggle with Executive Function Skills probably realize some things in life are harder for them.  They have often found coping skills to get by (both healthy and unhealthy ones). They probably are struggling with their grades and there may be a discrepancy between what they should be able to do academically and their actual grades due to zeros on homework, missing notes they can't find to study, inability to know how to start big projects when adults aren't guiding them anymore, and bad time management.  This may also be affecting them socially if they are struggling to manage emotions or impulsively saying and doing things that may offend or frustrate their peers.  Technology is probably only making all these issues harder as they have more access to distractions such as phones, social media, and video games.  As parents it is tempting to  rescue kids more during the high school years because the consequences of bad grades, missing deadlines for applications, etc. can seem to take away opportunities.  As hard as it is to see kids struggle and even lose opportunities, the more students get rescued and don't feel the consequences, the worse their Executive Function Skills will become, and it will hinder their growth in this area.  This will make being successful in college or other next steps even harder.  A good way to help students continue to grow these skills in high school is to start slowly giving them more responsibilities as they go through their high school years.  Have them contact their teachers, fill out their own applications for things, begin scheduling their own appointments, cooking dinner for the family, running errands once they are driving, etc.