september 1st, 2020
Dealing with uncertainty is hard for many people. It is difficult to accept that we have little to no control over the future. Large catastrophic events, like pandemics or natural disasters, serve to remind us that the future is uncertain, unstoppable, and unknown.
So what can be done?
This post is difficult to write because the answer is frustratingly simple, but extremely difficult to execute. The way to combat uncertainty is to:
1) Stick to your values
2) Radically accept that sense of uncertainty
Let’s unpack that. To stick to your values, you first have to identify them. You can do that by identifying what is most important to you. Look at lists of traditional values, talk to your family about what is important to them, really interrogate yourself about what is most important to you. Take time to write down your list. Whittle it down to eight. Then to five. Then to three.
Do you value your career above your love of video games? Are they one and the same? Do you value your family above your career?
Once you have a clear picture of your values, a really specific list of what is most important, you have a compass for your life. Uncertainty shrinks.
Radical acceptance is an interesting concept because it is often misunderstood as an "approval" of reality. Radical acceptance, as it pertains to the latest developments in psychotherapy theory, means "acknowledging reality" (source). It is an acknowledgement and understanding that uncertainty will always be there. And so letting go of that struggle of not accepting the reality of the way things are frees up our energy to focus on the things that we can actually change and control. We do not have to be paralyzed by uncertainty. Take the next right action determined by prioritizing what you value and focusing on what you can change.
Here are some resources for dealing with uncertainty:
"The Places That Scare" You by Pema Chodron
Tara Brach's Youtube Channel where she discusses radical acceptance and leads guided meditations
This DBT distress tolerance handout regarding radical acceptance