“I can’t have depression, I’m not sad.” This is something that countless teens, including myself, believed for far too long. I was under the impression that depression was exclusively for those who break into hysterical fits of crying or even have suicidal thoughts. While yes, these are definitely examples of depression, they are far from the only symptoms, and I wish I learned this sooner.
The last couple years have been pretty rough for me. I’ve lost motivation to do pretty much anything, I’ve become more irritated, and focusing on one task is an uphill battle. I’ve started to hurt the people I care about and neglect both my grades and my health. During all of this, my thoughts weren’t “maybe I need to get help,” it was “I’m not good enough.” I would often joke about getting a therapist, but I haven’t had the follow-through to actually get one.
If it wasn’t for one specific friend of mine, I don’t know what I would have done. Because of her, I’ve been able to offload stuff that has been dragging me down, and she’s been able to do the same. She’s pulled me out of some really rough times and has helped me see that I’ve been severely neglecting my mental health, and I can’t bottle it all up.
Since then, I’ve been able to open myself up to more people and the weight is slowly lifting. While I’m still struggling to pull myself together and (to the frustration of my friends) still don’t have a therapist, I’m working every day to get a little bit better.
So ya, even though I’m not constantly sobbing and appear as extroverted as can be (to those who don’t really know me of course), I am struggling with depression, and chances are you might be too. Don’t wait to get help; trust me, it’s not fun. Find people you care about and a professional if you can. Take care of yourself, because you are good enough and you deserve it.