The following process is taken from The University of Richmond Writing Center, adapted from Richard Lanham’s Revising Prose (writing2.richmond.edu/writing/wweb/concise.html).
Richard Lanham, a professor of English at UCLA, invented an easy-to-use method for making your writing clearer and more concise. The Writing Center strongly advocates Lanham's "Paramedic Method" for your writing. Here's how to do it:
Too many prepositions can drain all the action out of a sentence. Get rid of the prepositions and find a strong active verb to make the sentence direct:
Original: In this passage is an example of the use of the rule of justice in argumentation.
Revised: This passage exemplifies argumentation using the rule of justice.
Using "is" in a sentence gets it off to a slow start, and makes the sentence weak. Replace as many "to be" verbs with action verbs as you can, and change all passive voice ("is defended by") to an active voice ("defends").
Original: The point I wish to make is that fish sleep with their eyes open.
Revised: Fish sleep with their eyes open.
If you get stuck in a passive sentence always ask the question: "Who does what to whom?" If you use that formula you will always write active sentences.
Original: Burning books is considered censorship by some people.
Revised: Some people consider burning books censorship.
Original: The theory of relativity is not demonstrated by this experiment.
Revised: This experiment does not demonstrate the theory of relativity.
Stick to the action and avoid opening sentences with phrases like these:
My opinion is that....
The point I wish to make is that ...
The fact of the matter is that...
Original: Ruth was angry at her mother and so she stormed out of the house.
Revised: Angry at her mother, Ruth stormed out of the house.
Revised: Ruth, angry at her mother, stormed out of the house.
Revised: Ruth—angry at her mother—stormed out of the house.
Excessive "to be" verbs indicate that you need to improve your syntax. Replacing these verbs without changing the structure of your sentence isn't helpful.
Original: Mark was disappointed when he learned he was not chosen for the solo in the concert.
Not Better: Mark felt disappointed when he learned he did not get chosen for the solo in the concert.
Revised: When Mark learned the director gave the solo to someone else, his mood sank from giddy hope to deep disappointment.
"To be" verbs can be used in very short sentences for emphasis.
His hopes were crushed.
It was amazing.
I am a runner.