Tired of hearing "oh yeah I remember you...you're that person...from that place"? For $10, I'll memorize your face so that, when we run into each other, I won't have to awkwardly pretend to know who you are.

• The Name Recall Package ($15)

• The Voice Recognition Package ($20)

• The Wingman Package ($50/event)

For $10, I'll use my patented stress/depression reduction technique on you. My thought process is so random and funny that I'll never fail to put a smile on your face and take your mind off what's troubling you.

• The Shoulder to Cry On Package ($15)

• The Musical Package ($15)

• The Feign Empathy Package ($20)

For a small price of $5 per search, if you ask me a question, I'll pretend to know the answer when in actuality what I'm doing is just Googling the answer, which you could've just done.

• The Correct Answer/Check Multiple Sources Package ($10)

• The Thorough Explanation Package ($10)

• The Bing Package ($1000)