Are You One of the Living or the Dying?

By Judith Stewart, S.I.

Master, Rocky Mountain Atelier

This will be my last message as the Rocky Mountain Atelier Master, and, I would like to share some experiences that taught me some cosmic lessons during my term as Master.

In August of 2014, Doug, my husband of 35 years, unexpectedly went through transition. It’s easy to say that as a Rosicrucian and Martinist I had the tools to deal with such a loss, but in my own reality his loss hit me like a ton of bricks. I had not realized how intricately our lives had entwined. Every aspect of my life was painfully affected by his absence. In part because of this loss, I accepted a job in southern New Mexico starting in November 2014. Despite the move, I was still Atelier Orator through December 2015, with the expectation that I would continue as Master for 2016-2017. I was not thrilled with having a round-trip 18-hr drive almost every month for three years, but determined that the commitment was both important and necessary.

Attendance and participation in the Atelier is inspirational, enlightening, and a true experience in mystic communion with others of like minds. Every time I attended, I was re-vitalized, but returning to my rather reclusive existence in New Mexico also returned me to a rather emotionally and spiritually dark state of mind. In effect, I had joined the ranks of the dying.

Let me explain this phrase. In the very first pilot episode of the original Star Trek, the doctor of the starship Enterprise (before Doctor McCoy), made reference to two kinds of people, the living and the dying; in other words, those who felt they had a life purpose and chose to act, and those who just wanted to sit back and not do anything with their lives, in a vague unfocused existence. I knew that I had lost my “lust for life,” that goals had become pointless, and I was merely existing, but it wasn’t until recently that I realized that I was one of the dying.

July 31st, I had a major fall. By all rights, I should have died, or at least been severely injured, but all I got was a mild concussion and a lot of bruises. Within a couple of weeks, I developed a severe rash over the knots and bruises on my right leg. A prescription antibiotic for the rash caused a major allergic reaction, and while I was recovering from that, I slipped in the shower and broke my leg on August 29th! As I was recovering from the first fall, I knew the Cosmic was sending me a major message that I needed to deal with immediately. I suppose the Cosmic felt it needed to pound the message into me thoroughly; hence the broken leg. I realized where I had gotten myself to; I was one of the dying.

The first few days after I returned to Carlsbad with my broken leg were rough. The doctor in New Mexico wanted to perform surgery and I was ready to cancel my trip to France with the Rosicrucian tour, but when I connected with the tour organizer, Karen Wark, she and our Venerable Grand Master, Julie Scott, through their sustained caring and healing thoughts and words, convinced me to stay the course for France. I later decided not to have surgery. This is due primarily to such power coursing through me, undoubtedly from the healing, but also due to a complete reversal of life focus – I had rejoined the ranks of the living!

What joy it is to be one of the living! My zest for life has increased 10-fold! It’s a dismal feeling to experience the emptiness that exists with the dying. All the things I have experienced since 2014 have let me understand what so many people are going through, the hopelessness that so many live with day to day, with no idea of how to get out of that way of life. So many people exist as the dying, unaware that there is an alternative way of life, such as what is taught within the Rosicrucian and Martinist Orders. I have found more compassion in me than ever before, and I want to help others find their way to the light. Each of you must ask yourself, are you one of the living or the dying? There is so much negative energy in the state of dying and so much positive energy in the state of living. Choose to be one of the living!

The transformation in me from the dying to the living occurred in a flash, although there was a gradual realization first. Powerful positive energy is coursing through my body, eager to be acted upon. There is certainly impatience to get the boot off my leg, but I can feel the healing occurring in the leg. Now, I will be walking onto that plane without crutches, without the boot, with my fancy gold cane, to visit France with my fellow Rosicrucian friends, immersed in the joy of living.

The Atelier has remained a lifeline to me throughout my recovery period due to the loss of my husband, and the Rosicrucian Order has provided me the help I needed these past few weeks not only to heal my body, but even more important, to heal my spirit. I will always be grateful to the members of the Rocky Mountain Atelier, my fellow officers, Orator Bill Fickas and Sentinel Terry Orlikoski, and Provincial Master David Schloegel, for providing me with the positive life force that has been generated in each of our TMO Weekend Intensives.

Fall 2017 Provincial Master’s Message

My Brothers and Sisters, Fraters and Sorores;

Friedrich Nietzsche said “To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering.”

As mystics we have come to understand that the needed meaning comes from studying and embracing the laws of the Creator – the laws that were put in place so that we might experience and grow. In doing this we find the reason for the events in our lives, both painful and pleasurable, and, ideally, are thankful for whatever life brings us.

Well, this is a tall order. We would like to think that we are evolved enough to live this enlightened way, but we are still human, still have basic impulses and drives, still have an animalistic heritage to overcome. So, how many of us can just “pop in” to this evolved state of mind? It does take effort to arrive at this state.

What is suffering, emotional suffering? It is primarily longing for some condition other than the one at hand. Something upsets our life and we wish that the old conditions would come back. This can be a major event like a death of a loved one, the loss of a limb, our house burning down, and such. It can be a minor upset like missing an important airplane flight, having an argument with someone close, or having a traffic accident. Our impulse in any of these situations is to wish we could go back to the conditions before the incident.

Another way of saying this is that we “resist” change, and in particular resist change that causes suffering. Well, I find that the old TV show “Star Trek: The Next Generation” has a quote that says it all “RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.” Life is going to be full of challenges, the Cosmic is always going to be putting us in shifting situations, for this is the purpose of life – to experience and grow! We must embrace change and find the meaning and gift of the experience.

Our society tries to impose on us a “mold” for the “normal” life. Commercials tell us that if we just buy this make of car, use this shampoo, or have this smart phone, our life will be just wonderful. We are told that there is a common lifestyle that is “right” if we are to consider ourselves an average person. We know better than this, but still yearn for the “normal” life. So what happens when we are horribly disfigured by war or an accident? What happens when our loved one is taken from our lives? We are thrown out of our “normal” life! We go back to wishing for the conditions before the incident. Once again, we can say resistance is futile, but there is another piece of advice that I have latched on to from the entertainment arena. The movie “Wyatt Earp” makes the quote “There is no such thing as a normal life, there is just life – so get on with it.” In other words, quit trying to mold life to a preconceived form. Life is an adventure and everyone is having a unique experience – there is no normal.

So, we should have no expectations from life, just live it one day at a time. Whatever is thrown our way in the events of life are gift from which we learn about ourselves and our relationship with God. Psychologically we must process these events and work through the mourning, but resisting and expecting the normal just adds to the suffering and is not productive.

I’m sorry - I seem to have dwelt on the negative, painful side of life. In the midst of this life adventure let’s find joy in looking to the light, feeling the love that radiates to us from everywhere. Feel the loving life force that springs forth in this season and say to yourself “IT IS GOOD!” Life is love, my friends - immerse yourself in that knowledge no matter what gets thrown your way.

May you ever dwell in the Eternal Light of Divine Wisdom!

David Schloegel, F.R.C.

Provincial Master

Traditional Martinist Order