Ng Rui Sheng James (Class of 2016) – Master Sergeant of NCC (Sea) and recipient of Most Outstanding Uniformed Group Leader Award in 2016. James is a regular with the Navy, and is currently pursuing a bachelor’s degree in Psychology at Nanyang Technological University (NTU).

Respect for Self and Others

This is a value inculcated in us since infancy, and one that may seem simple to uphold but in reality, is easily neglected. We respect our parents, teachers, and elderly, because we value them for their contributions and the good things they impart into our lives. We respect authority because we acknowledge the powers and responsibilities vested in them to carry out their duty. In school, the need to respect our peers and even juniors or seniors may not be as apparent as we usually view them as having a similar standing with us. Nonetheless, it takes two hands to clap and more often than not we must be respectful in order to earn the respect of others. We need to understand that showing respect for others is important as it is the foundation of a healthy relationship and allows us to work better collectively to achieve a common goal.

It was not until late into my secondary school leadership journey that I realised what it meant to be respected by first showing respect for others. As a prefect, we often had to carry out duties such as getting students to remain quiet during morning assemblies and during recess periods having to chase students back to class once the bell had rung. We had to deal with students of all levels and sometimes even as a junior we had to instruct seniors to keep quiet or head back to class after recess. My approach for a large part of my term as a prefect was often stern, demanding, and sometimes even condescending. While it did achieve results to some extent, I could feel that my instructions were usually followed with reluctance and even snarky remarks on some occasions. I was not treating my peers with much courtesy or empathy and often thought of my authority and appointment as a prefect as a reason for others to be obliged to do as I told them. I soon learnt that this approach was not sustainable and in fact led others to feel more compelled to act in defiance as opposed to correcting their behaviour.

I realised that it is important to first and foremost treat others the way you would like to be treated. Most people dislike being told off and would more likely adhere to instruction if reminded politely and respectfully. No one likes another person acting all ‘high and mighty’ making demands off the bat. I also realised that it was important to empathise and put oneself in the shoes of others. Considering the circumstance and position that others are in, and subsequently deciding on the appropriate response to give is also a key element of showing respect by not jumping to conclusions or judging a book by its cover. Once I started to be more courteous in my approach and respectful of the circumstances of others as well as their point of view, I was able to build better rapport and relationships with them and this greatly aided me in getting them to comply with my requests. By being respectful to one another, we can build a safe and conducive environment in which we are free to express ourselves and collaborate with others of varying diversity, building on each other’s unique perspectives and improving each other.

“Be devoted to one another in love. Honour one another above yourselves.”

Romans 12:10