Here are some tips to help children improve their social language skills.
Pragmatics (Social Language) has to do with how someone uses their words, tone, and body to communicate appropriately in a variety of situations.
Using language for different purposes, such as
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1. To help kids learn to take turns, playing board games, is a winner. State whose turn it is each time. Taking turns is a basic skill needed for any type of communication.
2. Make waiting for a turn to talk important. Encourage your child to look before they speak. Look to see that the person they want to talk to is ready to listen (not talking themselves, on the phone, busy, etc.) and then get their attention appropriately by saying excuse me or stating their name and waiting for a response from them. Playing ball toss with the family brings this point home. Get in a circle and the child says the name of the person they are throwing the ball (e.g. "Hi Mom") to and then waits for them to look at them before they toss it. The person who catches the ball acknowledges by saying "Hello Joey". Keep going around and around.
3. It's all in the body language. Play games with your kids to see if they can recognize feelings by acting them out. Let them try it and see if you can guess. Over 70% of communication is non -verbal or not in the words chosen but how they are said and what the body is doing when they are said.
4. Help children see the point of view of others. When there is a conflict with the child and someone else, even a family member or yourself, be specific and state what you think the other person's point of view might have been. For example, "I think Joey might have felt that he was being left out, which is why he took his ball and left."
5. Give your child a lot of positive feedback when they do something appropriate so they know that what they did was right. (e.g. "I liked how you waited for your turn to tell me something and did not interrupt.")
Listening
Listening is one of the most important skills a person has. Remember that learning most often starts with listening. Some children need help when it comes to listening. Telling them to listen harder may not convey to them just what they need to do. Try giving the these tips to improve their listening skills:
1. Look at speaker. This helps to keep the listener
focused and helps the speaker know that they
are being listened to.
2. Be still. This does not mean to stand like a
statue but avoid walking around the room or
playing with things.
3. Think about what is being said. Cue your child
to concentrate on the spoken message rather
than thinking about other things (asking them to
repeat what was said ensures they were
focused).
4. Mouth is silent. You simply cannot listen to
someone else if you are talking.
Most importantly, teach by example. Kids often do as adults do. We serve as models for our children and we can be extremely valuable tools for teaching by following the rules of communication ourselves.