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A key aspect of my teaching that I believe distinguishes me as an expert teacher is how I address misbehavior in my classroom. While I gave many details about how I proactively set up my classroom to avoid misbehavior, we all know that there are times when that is not enough, we must deal with issues that threaten the focus of our learning environment.
When having one on one discussions with students regarding misbehavior, I utilize techniques from the books How to Win Friends and Influence People and Teaching With Love & Logic. The goal of most conversations that stem from misbehavior is to get the student to comply with expectations and to focus on learning. The key is to do this with finesse while maintaining the student’s self concept.
Most of the time I find that students who misbehave feel misunderstood or lost. Their misbehavior is an coping mechanism for dealing with deeper issues. Usually, when I have a conversation with them and I understand where they are coming from, I am able to show that I support them and believe in them, and I am committed to working with them in the classroom. (Sometimes that means apologizing to them for perceived disrespect to show them I want to move past issues and willing to start fresh.) I try to show the students how complying with expectations will benefit them and help them get what they want.
Many of the students who have the most significant behavior issues are also those that are deeply distrustful of authority. Teaching with Love and Logic states “It is our interpretation of an experience, not the experience itself, that affects our behavior.”
Ricco Anger comes to mind as an example of a student who always felt like I was only focusing on his negative behavior. Whenever I redirected his behavior he would deflect responsibility by pointing out misbehavior of another student, or find a reason to be disrespected by how I approached him.
After one of many times trying to redirect Ricco to focus on class work and him feeling persecuted and loudly complaining about it in the classroom, I told him something like “I think I may have just blown it. I realized that I’m trying to make you work, and you keep telling me I can’t make you. I’m not feeling good about what I’m doing now. Would you give me some time to think this through?” It wasn’t a redirection but a simple acknowledgement of the current situation. The result was he became aware that I know I can’t make him work, only he can. The next day before class I told Ricco that I made a personal goal to praise him for five specific actions that he did during class, and he should help me track it by writing them down. That showed him I was actively looking for good things he was doing, and I wanted him to hold me accountable for seeking out his positive behaviors. After a few days of that agreement, he no longer felt like I was picking on him when I was redirecting his behavior, and was much more compliant.
I tend to ask questions more than give directions, in an attempt for the student to take ownership of their behavior. A typical line of questioning may go like this
By using this method of questioning students have to speak about the actions they have control over, and think about how those actions relate to others in the classroom. Many times students have a hard time owning up to their behaviors and we sit quietly while they are thinking. Sometimes I might give them past examples like “There are many different reasons why this happens. Sometimes students hate their teacher, or they are afraid the work is to hard, or maybe things are not going well at home, and sometimes it’s because the student needs friends so badly that they’re willing to act out in class to be part of the group. Do any of those reasons sound familiar to you?” When thinking about solutions, I may offer “Would you like to know what other students have tried?” or “On a scale of 1-10, how good of a decision do you think that is?”
I strive to be empathetic when dealing with consequences. I don’t express anger when a student swears, I simply say when that happens I have to follow the rules of our school and send the student to the office, and I show disappointment that they won’t be able to stay in class positively participate in our learning environment. By reacting this way students are forced to focus on their actions, not my reaction.