March 2012

here is almost overwhelming... The beauty around us is breathtaking; it is like a piece of heaven on earth! We have such an amazing view! On the western side our erf borders Moltkeblick Game Farm, so we regularly see kudu, waterbuck, springbok, impala, etc. grazing not far from us. Recently we installed a water trough for the game (adding a block of salt and some molasses) about 20 meters from our front porch, in order to lure the game STILL closer. Then of course we are surrounded by beautiful indigenous Namibian bush and grass landscape with its variety of birds. The peace and quiet here and the fresh air (we are located 1935 m above sea level and 230 m higher than Windhoek) is a balm for body and soul. For all who enjoy nature and would be able to, we can really recommend a move like we’ve done! It is definitely worth it! We quickly got used to the longer trips and a new daily routine. It is a small price to pay for the beauty and tranquillity we enjoy here. The trips also give plenty of opportunity for good conversation with our kids.

Danilo (almost 12) also has inline hockey ambitions. He trains faithfully and is making good progress. In addition to his own age division (12-and-under) he also trains with the 14-and-under and 16-and-under teams. At the beginning of 2011 Hellmut requested to be relieved of all outside responsibilities, because the building process really required a LOT of us. In our church we have been released as “elders on sabbatical”. New elders have been appointed, and we are very grateful to no longer need to carry so much responsibility. Our major goal for this year is to learn to rest! It doesn’t come naturally to us. Little-by-little we relax and just allow ourselves time to enjoy it too. We are both first-borns with a highly developed (overdeveloped?) sense of responsibility. Ever since we got married 18 years ago, we often said: something needs to change; we cannot simply go on like this. After the incredible stress and frustration with the building project we were forced to slow down. Birgit suffered a burnout in early 2011. Two smaller ones followed. Her condition deteriorated. She could no longer cope with everyday life, was completely overwhelmed by even the smallest tasks. Birgit started getting panic attacks. Melancholy, despair and hopelessness overshadowed her life. After much coaxing from Sigi (Birgit's sister in law, who is a doctor), Birgit's mother, Hellmut and a very dear pastor, we finally sought medical help in September 2011. Birgit was put on antidepressants. They only started helping gradually, but now after 6 months of treatment she feels much better. She still has mood swings sometimes, but it's not comparable with the previous situation. We are very grateful and relieved! She sleeps well again, has a much lower sensitivity to pain and less PMS. Her vitality has returned, and she copes with everyday life again. The only negative effect of the drugs is the more than healthy appetite, resulting in increasing cm and kg ... but this is without doubt the lesser of two evils.

It is a pity that we delayed this treatment for so long. It is a pity that for too long you say: I’ve got what it takes, it will leave by itself again, just pull yourself together, you're not a sissy ... It is a pity that the ignorance regarding antidepressants results in a negative stigma... The result is that many of us suffer needlessly. What a pity that we believe we should get medical treatment for the body, but the mental well-being, which is largely controlled by the chemistry in the brain, should rather be achieved through self-help programs, relaxation exercises, a healthier diet, counselling, psychotherapy, and prayer. You should simply be focusing on gratitude and replacing your wrong thinking patterns with the truth. You should just choose to trust and be strong in the joy of the Lord... Most of these Birgit has tried over the last 30 years ... These quick and ready answers are rarely helpful! We trust that our transparency would lead to us Christians examining our prejudices regarding depression. To reject medical assistance (that has a high probability of really helping) with these quick and ready replies is unloving. (It is as if we were to say to a dying man, he must only believe a bit more in order to be healed, while medicine is available that could treat his disease. Isn’t he struggling enough as it is? Do we have to add another burden, basically saying that it is his own fault that he is not getting well?) May God help us to get His perspective in all areas of life. On 13 August 2010 friends of ours, Phillemon (Kavango) and Rusilla (Damara) Kamwanga were tragically killed while they were travelling to the north to present a seminar in a church. Their minibus collided head on with a truck and 7 of the occupants died. Their one year old son Phillemon (called Philli) stayed behind in Windhoek. After much prayer we felt that we would like to take Philli into our family. Unfortunately, the social workers were not very helpful in this process. Although Philli’s grandmother is an alcoholic, even running a shebeen on her property, the social welfare office said: at least Philli has a grandmother looking after him! In spite of this we tried, as much as possible, to build a relationship with Philli and his grandparents in Rehoboth. Towards the end of 2011 the grandparents agreed that we should become Philli’s guardians. We prepared everything for his arrival in early December. For example, this was one of the reasons to replace our Pajero with a second hand VW bus, so that we could buckle up all the children. But then the grandparents suddenly reversed course... It was not easy, especially for Birgit, to digest this! In the meantime, we have entrusted Philli to God’s care, and pray that His plan for Philli would come true, whether it involves us or not.

You might recall from our previous circulars that for many years we had been looking for a suitable place just outside Windhoek. When Hellmut saw an advertisement for Finkenstein Estate in the newspaper in 2007, he knew pretty soon that this would be the answer for his city-frustrated wife. In 2009, we prepared a sketch for a house and gave them to an architect to do a professional job of it. The construction started at the end of May 2010. The contractor had promised to complete our house in 6 months. After 11 months we moved into an unfinished house on 28 April 2011.

www.ludwiger.com/hellmut