Thesis Statements in General
1. A good thesis states the writer's clearly defined opinion on some subject.
Tell the reader what you think about the topic. Don't dodge the issue. State your opinion specifically and precisely.
Too Vague: Many people have different opinions on whether people under twenty one should be able to drink alcohol, and I agree with some of them.
Too Vague: The question of whether we need a national law governing the minimum age to drink alcohol is a controversial issue in many states.
2. A good thesis has something worthwhile to say.
Poor: The four children in my family have completely different personalities. [This may be true, but would anyone but your mom and dad really be fascinated with this topic?]
3. A good thesis is limited to fit the assignment.
Don't allow your thesis to promise more of a discussion than you can adequately deliver in a short essay.
Too Broad: Black artists have contributed a lot to American culture. ["Black artists," "culture," and "a lot" cover more ground than can be dealt with in one short essay]
Better: Scott Joplin was a major influence in the development of the uniquely American music called ragtime. [specifically defined and narrow]
4. A good thesis is usually located in the first or second paragraph.
For shorter, works it must appear in the first. For longer, it might appear in the second.
Avoiding Common Errors in Thesis Statements
Here are five mistakes to avoid when forming your thesis statements:
1. Don't make your thesis merely an announcement of your subject matter or a description of your intentions. State an attitude toward the subject.
Poor: The subject of this paper is my experience with a pet boa constrictor.
(This is an announcement of subject, not thesis)
Poor: I'm going to discuss boa constrictors as pets.
(This is a statement of intention, not a thesis.)
Better: Boa constrictors do not make healthy indoor pets.
(The writer states an opinion that will be explained and illustrated in the essay.)
Better: My pet boa constrictor, Sir Pent, was a much better bodyguard than my dog, Fang.
(The writer states an opinion that will be explained and illustrated in the essay.)
2. Don't clutter your thesis with expressions such as "in my opinion," "I believe," and "in this essay I'll argue that. . ." These unnecessary phrases weaken your thesis statement because they often make you sound timid or uncertain. This is your essay; therefore, the opinions expressed are obviously yours. Be forceful; speak directly, with conviction.
Poor: My opinion is that the federal government should devote more money to solar energy research.
Poor: My thesis states that the federal government should devote more money to solar energy research.
Better: The federal government should devote more money to solar energy research.
Poor: In this essay I will give you lots of reasons why horse racing should not be legalized in Texas.
Better: Horse racing should not be legalized in Texas.
3. Don't be unreasonable. Making irrational or oversimplified claims will not persuade your reader that you have a thorough understanding of the issue. Don't insult any reader; avoid irresponsible charges, name calling, and profanity.
Poor: Radical religious fanatics across the nation are trying to impose their right-wing views by censoring high school library books.
[Words such as "radical," "fanatics," "right-wing," and "censoring" will antagonize many readers immediately.]
Better: Only local school board members, not religious leaders or parents, should decide which books high school libraries should order.
Poor: Too many corrupt books in our high school libraries, selected by liberal or atheistic educators, are undermining the morals or our youth.
[Again, some readers will be offended.]
Better: In order to ensure that high school libraries contain books that reflect community standards, parents should have a voice in selecting new titles.
4. Don't merely state a fact. A thesis is an assertion of opinion that leads to discussion. Don't select an idea that is self-evident or dead-ended.
Poor: Child abuse is a terrible problem in our country.
[yes, of course; who wouldn't agree that child abuse is terrible?]
Better: Child abuse laws in this state are too lenient for repeat offenders.
[This thesis will lead to a discussion in which supporting arguments and evidence will be presented.]
Poor: Advertisers often use sex in their ads to sell products.
[True. But how could this essay be turned into something more than a description of one ad after another?]
Better: A number of liquor advertisers, well known for using pictures of sexy models to sell their products, are now using special graphics to send subliminal sexual messages to their readers.
[This claim is controversial and will require persuasive supporting evidence.]
Better: Although long criticized for their sexist portrayal of women in television commercials, the auto industry is just as often guilty of stereotyping men as brainless idiots unable to make a decision.
[This thesis makes a point that may lead to an interesting discussion.]
5. Don't express your thesis in the form of a question.
Poor: Why should every college student have to take two years of foreign language?
Better: Math majors should be exempt from the foreign language requirement.
Essay maps
Many thesis sentences will benefit from the addition of an essay map, a brief statement in the introductory paragraph introducing the major points to be discussed in the essay. Let's suppose you have been assigned the task of praising or criticizing some aspect of your campus. You decide that your thesis will be "The campus bookstore is the worst place in town to buy textbooks." Although your thesis does take a stand ("worst place"), your reader will not know why the bookstore is so poor or what points you will cover in your argument. With an essay map added, the reader will have a brief but specific idea where the essay is going and how it will be developed:
Thesis: The campus bookstore is the worst place in town to buy textbooks. The unreasonable prices, the lack of qualified employees, and the constant book shortages discourage all but the most loyal customers. (Essay map underlined)
Sometimes, you can include the essay map in the thesis:
Unreasonable prices, unqualified employees, and constant shortages make the campus bookstore a terrible place to buy books.
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A Topic Sentence Is Like a Baby Thesis
An effective topic sentence has 2 basic parts: a topic and an assertion. The topic indicates what the paragraph is about, and the assertion is the point that is being made about the topic. It may express an attitude or opinion, or it may simply indicate what is to follow. In other words, the assertion is the point you will make, or the idea you will develop in your paragraph.
The topic sentence cannot be a specific statement of fact, such as "The temperature of the sun's surface is 11,000 Fahrenheit," because such a statement needs no further development or support.
In most topic sentences, the grammatical subject of the sentence is the topic: "Computers have changed the way we write." So, the predicate of the sentence is the same as the assertion: "Computers have changed the way we write." Most topic sentences are in the form of a statement, but they can also be expressed as a question: "How have computers changed the way we write?"
Thesis Statements on Literary Topics
A thesis, which nearly always appears in the introduction, announces an essay's main point . In a literature paper, your thesis will address the central question that you have asked about the work. In drafting a thesis, aim for a strong, assertive summary of your interpretation. Here, for example, are two theses taken from student essays, together with the central question each student had posed.
Question
What does Stephen Crane's short story, "The Open Boat" reveal about the relationship between humans and nature?
Thesis
In Stephen Crane's gripping tale, "The Open Boat," four men lost at sea discover not only that nature is indifferent to their fate but that their own particular talents make little difference as they struggle for survival.
Question
In the Greek Tragedy Electra, by Euripides, how do Electra and her mother, Clytemnestra, respond to the limitations society has placed on women?
Thesis
The experience of powerlessness has taught Electra and her mother two very different lessons: Electra has learned the value of traditional, conservative sex roles for women, but Clytemnestra has learned just the opposite.
As in other writing, the thesis of a literature paper cannot be too factual, too broad, or too vague.
For an essay on Mark Twain's Huckleberry Finn, for example, the following would all make POOR thesis sentences.
Too Factual: As a runaway slave, Jim is in danger from the law.
Too Broad: In Huckleberry Finn, Mark Twain criticizes mid-nineteenth-century American society.
Too Vague: Huckleberry Finn is Twain's most exciting work.
Here is thesis about the novel that avoids these pitfalls.
Acceptable thesis: Because Huckleberry Finn is a naïve narrator, his comments on conventional religion function ironically at every turn, allowing Twain to poke fun at empty piety.
This handout was originally edited by the University of Arkansas Quality Writing Center and adapted from Jean Wyrick's Steps to Writing Well, 2nd ed., published by Harcourt Brace College Publisher