think

Adina posted this on rom;

=========================

It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and

then to loosen up. Inevitably though, one thought led to another, and

soon I was more than just a social thinker.

I began to think alone - "to relax," I told myself - but I knew it wasn't

true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was

thinking all the time. I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking

and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself.

I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka.

I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it

exactly we are doing here?"

Things weren't going so great at home either. One evening I had turned off

the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night

at her mother's.

I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the boss called me in.

He said, "Skippy, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your

thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job,

you'll have to find another job." This gave me a lot to think about. I

came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I confessed,

"I've been thinking..." "I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I

want a divorce!" "But Honey, surely it's not that serious." "It is

serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as college

professors, and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep on

thinking we won't have any money!" "That's a faulty syllogism," I said

impatiently, and she began to cry. I'd had enough. "I'm going to the

library," I snarled as I stomped out the door.

I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche, with a PBS

station on the radio. I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the big

glass doors... they didn't open. The library was closed.

To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that

night. As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering

for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye. "Friend, is heavy thinking

ruining your life?" it asked. You probably recognize that line. It comes

from the standard Thinker's Anonymous poster. Which is why I am what I am

today: a recovering thinker. I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we

watch a non-educational video; last week it was "Porky's." Then we share

experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting.

I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just

seemed... easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.

========================

clipped from Roshan's Humor List

=================================================

Return to Home Page