Revisions (a true story)

Take 1 (the gist):

one of my neighbors needed a ride one day (appointment, flat tire). he saw another neighbor headed to the parking garage and asked "which way are you going?". the guy said, "where do you need to go?" he told him. "i'm not going that way."

Take 2 (a story):

Wayne desperately needed a ride one day - he had an appointment and a flat tire. As he walked out of the parking garage, he saw a neighbor, Neil, headed toward his car. Wayne said, "I have a flat tire and I could really use a ride. Which way are you going?". Neil said, "Where do you need to go?" Wayne told him. Neil replied, "I'm not going that way."

Take 3 (embellishments):

True story (the names are unchanged to implicate the guilty): Wayne desperately needed a ride one day - he had an appointment and a flat tire. As he dejectedly walked out of the semi-darkness of the parking garage, he saw his next-door neighbor from the sixth floor, Neil, headed toward his own car nearby. "I have a flat tire and I could really use a ride," Wayne said, "which way are you going?" hoping for help but not wanting to inconvenience his neighbor. Neil said, "Where do you need to go?" and Wayne told him the time and place, fairly soon, but not that far. Neil replied, "I'm not going that way."

Take 4 (more, with line breaks):

My neighbor Wayne told me this story about a third neighbor (there are four units on each floor). The names are unchanged to implicate the guilty:

Wayne desperately needed a ride one day - he had an important appointment and a flat tire on his standard-issue retiree's Cadillac with Florida plates. As he walked out of the semi-darkness of the underground parking garage, semi-desperate and semi-dejected, he saw Neil who lived next door. Neil was an astrophysicist and a somewhat odd character and was headed toward his own car nearby.

"Hello neighbor!" Wayne said. "Hey, I have a flat tire and I could really use a ride, which way are you going?" he asked, hoping for help but not wanting to inconvenience the young scientist.

Neil briefly made eye contact and said, "Where do you need to go?".

Wayne brightened and told him the time and place, which were, in order, fairly soon and not that far.

Neil replied, "I'm not going that way." and got in his car and drove off.

Take 5 (memoir opening, tying things together):

I will never forget my neighbors on the sixth floor. Wayne needed a ride one day - he had an important appointment and a flat tire on his standard-issue retiree's Cadillac with Florida plates. As he walked out of the semi-darkness of the underground parking garage, semi-desperate and semi-dejected, he saw Neil who lived next door. Neil was an astrophysicist - clever, logical, scientific, and slightly awkward about social niceties, and he was headed toward his own car nearby.

"Hello, neighbor!" Wayne said. "Hey, I have a flat tire and I could really use a ride - which way are you going?" he asked, hoping for help but not wanting to inconvenience the younger man.

Neil briefly made eye contact, saying, "Where do you need to go?".

Wayne brightened and told him the time and place, which were, in order, fairly soon and not that far.

Neil replied, "I'm not going that way," and got into his car and drove into the sunlight.