After many years of breathing other’s second hand cigarette smoke, it was a great change to find labels on packets of cigarettes that indicated that smoking was detrimental to one’s health. Finally babies and other seekers of fresh air, found that selfish smokers were now looked down upon and sent outside to smoke in alleys or at least in the smoking section of restaurants.

But today’s “spiritual” self-help books need to be looked at with even more attention. Maybe they too might get reminder labels in the future. Due to a distinct lack of morality and understanding, many writers are encouraging one to indulge one self in a selfish way, as a panacea for a lack of love.

Whilst the “New Age” welcomed in love, enlightenment, peace to all, vegetarianism, save the whales, the planet and other noble causes, its downside was that it seemed to push the awareness of God right to the back of the Universe, preferring to be ‘up close and comfortable’ with the end product rather than the creator. With this apparent demise of religious ideals, the ever watchful advertising world, jumped in to appeal to those more “steady types” less disturbed by the so- called Age of Aquarius, by tempting them to be competitive with their neighbours rather than loving. On the way, many New Agers fell by the wayside, rattled by the chance of getting everything better – from cleaner dishes to the most up-to-date gadgets.

In the book “”Thirty-five Oriental Philosophers” by Diane Collinson and Robert Wilkinson, it is mentioned that love is more than an agreeable feeling or a pleasurable sensation derived from the contact of physical bodies. So we see that what many people call love is actually sentimentality masquerading as love at best and self-centredness or lust at worst. No wonder that love is so misunderstood!

“Far from being irrelevant or impractical, the intention to express love is fundamental for effective leadership. This is so because in the final analysis, a leader’s motivation is communicated to others in countless subtle ways. Leaders whose actions are perceived as self-serving often create disharmony, resentment, and disloyalty. On the other hand, those who base their behaviour upon a genuine empathy and concern for others can gain loyalty and support that makes the attainment of even difficult goals possible.” Leadership for an Age of Higher Consciousness Pg. 17 Swami Krishnapada B.T. Swami

Here are some good points from different religious to indicate how we should lovingly see others – unfortunately it doesn’t seem to have made much of an impact!:

“Love as a Relationship:

Brahmanism: Do not do unto others that which would cause you pain if done to yourself

Buddhism: Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would possibly find hurtful

Christianity: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you

Islam: Not one of you is a true believer until he desires for his brother that which he desires for himself

Judaism: Whatever is hateful to you, do not to your fellow man

Zoroastrianism: That nature alone is good which refrains from doing unto another anything that is not good for itself.

Taoism: Always regard your neighbor’s gain as your gain, and your neighbor’s loss as your own loss.”

There are many cases of pure love which gives without asking anything in return. So here a mother goes beyond loving her child as much as she does herself, as is required in the above mentioned scriptures. The mothering instinct is generally strong and she gives great care to the relationship with her selfless acts.

“Learn to love everyone dearly and allow this love for others to radiate through you. As you let the energy of love vibrate around you, all who align themselves with you will contract this contagious, sublime state and spread it enthusiastically to others.”

A proud person is vulnerable to the temptations of selfishness, intoxication, lust, envy and greed. Ultimately we must move beyond passion and ignorance because they reinforce our own selfishness. Self-centredness or selfishness keeps us alienated from our neighbours, from God and from our natural inheritance of spirituality.

In order to love others you need to love yourself. This means having respect for one’s body, ensuring that the company that you keep is encouraging to your spiritual welfare and most importantly realising that as we are spiritual by nature and that not only are we an empowered son or daughter of God, we actually have an aspect of God within us, rather like a hologram which when a piece is taken from the original, the smaller piece is just like the original. Although we are like God in quality, as minute souls we are not the same in quantity.

“Often people think of God as a Being to hold in awe, fear and reverence. However, this is an elementary perception. There are many other types of possible relationships with God. A person whose love grows deeper recognizes the potential for loving God not only as the Creator but also as a friend or as a child.”

An interesting fact is, that although when one dies, everything is taken away, the only thing to remain with the spirit soul is their spiritual growth. Unfortunately returning souls, quickly are re-educated into the ways of the world and they now have a covering which hides their past pious behaviour and only a return to more spiritual behaviour will reveal it again. But the good news is that it doesn’t depreciate.

Eventually we will encourage an attitude of selflessness in ourselves, avoiding pathways which encourage lethargy, wasting of time, focusing on the un-meaningful, and move ourselves towards being the enlightened beings reaching out for a pure relationship with God that we were intended to be.