Developing Play Skills

When your child is 3- to 5-years-old

At this age, children have the idea of how to pretend but need ideas of what to pretend:

Use everyday chores and situations to set up play ideas. Use errands as an opportunity for playing. Point out people and talk about what they say and do. These people will become “roles” that the child plays. Everything the child sees becomes fodder for rich play when you get home.
Help your child turn everyday experiences into play by providing props. Don’t buy a doctor’s uniform—instead, use a grown-up’s old shirt and put something on it that signifies the doctor. Don’t have a stethoscope? Make one out of a piece of string with a circle attached to it. Remember that a prop doesn’t need to be an exact replica—creating something symbolic takes more thought.
Take on a role, too—a secondary role. You want your child to direct the entire play scene as much as possible. You want her to tell you what to do and what will come next. If the child is unclear about what the main person does, you can give suggestions, but try hard not to take over. For example, your son could be the doctor and you could be the patient or the father of a sick baby. First your baby could be sick with a fever. Then you could pretend that he has broken his arm. You could take on a secondary role that changes the scenario, such as prompting a house call. Encourage your child to tell you what to do. Ask, “What’s going to happen next?” When your child directs the play, you are promoting planning skills that are a part of self-regulation.
Help your child expand the roles and add to the script. “Now, what could happen next? Can we pretend that we had to go to the hospital in an ambulance? What else could happen?” Add onto the ideas you have already played out.
Read a story together and let it be the basis of play. Use a story that your child likes and has heard many times; act it out.
After playing a role and a scene several times, suggest a new twist. What if you were the doctor on a pirate ship? In outer space? Have the same role happen in a different place.
By four years of age, children should begin to be able to play with fewer props and not need the elaborate dressing up they needed earlier. They can also invent their own props. You can play anywhere—in the car, in the supermarket, at home.
Have other children over who can join in the play.
Introduce simple games with rules. Board games like Chutes and Ladders or Candyland are great—these are an extension of make-believe play.

When your child is 5-years-old and older.

Five-year-old children should be able to create and act out elaborate make-believe scenarios on their own or with other children.

Encourage children to play by having props available and materials that they can use to make their own props. Children will be able to make a pretend scene and choose props on their own. Blocks, pieces of fabric, blankets, paper, scissors, and glue are all things that children can turn into anything, from a costume to a construction site to a space station to Cinderella.
Children will begin to play more with little dolls and action figures instead of dressing up and playing the roles themselves. They may engage in “director’s play,” in which they talk and act for the figures, playing several roles and changing their voices for each of the actors. Things can get pretty complicated with a long period of discussion of who is doing what and when, followed by the acting out of the scene that was just planned. Lego toy sets (with people) and dollhouses encourage this kind of play. Children will want to own a theme set, which helps in acting out certain scenarios, but you should also encourage them to add pieces from other sets to promote their creativity and flexibility.
Use stories and literature as a basis for play. Encourage children to make their own versions of familiar stories or to make completely new stories, and then act them out.
Play games with rules. Board games and simple card games (Go Fish) are all extensions of mature make-believe play.
If you are lucky enough to have several children, take advantage of the gift! You will have to help the 5- and 6-year-olds learn to teach their younger siblings what to do and say, especially if a sibling is under 3-years-old. Help the older child invent a simple role for the 3-year-old. Model how the older sibling can define who is going to do what and then help the younger child to play along. Before you know it, you’ll have a situation in which the play of both children is enhanced.

At this point, you are really more of a resource, providing ideas to help children get things going. You should not have to demonstrate or be a part of the play as you were before. However, if you notice that your 5-year-old cannot play in a mature way with roles and themes, don’t feel discouraged—just use some of the suggestions above. Practice makes perfect!

Taken from www.toolsofthemind.org/parents/make-believe-play

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