Stay Calm and Composed

• Maintain a gentle tone and body language.

• Model the behavior you expect from the child.

Get on Their Level

• Physically lower yourself to make eye contact at their level.

• This helps the child feel heard and reduces intimidation.

Use Simple, Clear Language

• Avoid complicated or abstract words.

• Use age-appropriate explanations and directives.

The younger the student, the less explanations they need (just need directives)

Listen Actively

• Show empathy by nodding and repeating back what they’ve said to confirm understanding.

• Allow them to express their feelings without interruption.

Acknowledge Their Emotions

• Validate their feelings (e.g., "I see you're upset, because of _____").

• This helps the child feel understood and de-escalates frustration.

Offer Choices

• Give two acceptable options to give them a sense of control (e.g., "Would you like to sit here or over there to talk?").

• This can empower the child and promote cooperation.

Avoid Blame and Accusation

• Focus on describing the situation rather than blaming (e.g., "I noticed you had trouble sharing" instead of "You’re being selfish").

Encourage Problem-Solving

• Ask questions like, “What do you think we can do to make this better?”

• This encourages critical thinking and shared responsibility in finding solutions.

Be Patient

• Children may need extra time to process their emotions and respond.

• Don’t rush them; give space for reflection if needed.

• Some behaviors don't change quickly and require constant correction and consistency.

Follow Up with Positive Reinforcement

• Acknowledge any progress or attempts to communicate (e.g., "Thank you for sharing how you feel").

• Reinforce good behavior with positive feedback.

Be a Leader Worth Following

Some leaders pull people ahead while others encourage from beside. As a parent, we can be both. Know how to lead your student in a way that is worthy of being followed. If you would not respond well to how you are communicating with them, then find a new approach. It's helpful to seek out advice from other parents and even teachers who may have another perspective on the conflict.