Apology & Forgiveness Tool

Concept: To self-reflect and hear that we may have hurt someone else takes tremendous personal presence regardless of whether the hurt was intentional or not. We must, first and foremost, be willing to suspend the need to be right. For some children and adults, this humbling position comes more easily than for others, depending on such factors as self-awareness, self-worth, and temperament. It’s also important for students to realize that there are times when common understanding may not be found. Sometimes, the resolution may be to agree to disagree. Regardless of how we come to resolution, it always means taking ownership of our part in the incident.

Hand Gesture: Apology and Forgiveness is the glue that holds and repairs broken relationships. Just like we glue two pieces of paper together, we use Apology and Forgiveness to glue friendships back together and to restore communication. Students can clasp their palms together as though they are gluing together two sheets of paper, to remind themselves about apologizing and forgiving.

Suggestions on how to introduce the tool to your students:

• Bring a toy or piece of art and have the class watch as you glue it back together. As you repair it tell the class:

  • A friendship can be broken because of an argument or misunderstanding, just like this toy. Apology and Forgiveness is like the glue that fixes this toy, and puts it back together. Apology and Forgiveness can fix a broken friendship and put it back together, too.

• Review the gesture and tagline “I admit my mistakes and work to forgive yours.”

• Why do you think this Tool is part of our Toolbox?

• What happens when we say, “I’m sorry,” but don’t mean it?

  • What might be hard about apologizing?

  • What are different ways you can say or show that you are sorry? How can we let the person know our apology is genuine and comes from our hearts?

    • Record answers on chart paper and use them as sentence frames in your classroom.

• What was the result or impact of the apology on your relationship with the person you apologized to.

• The other part of the Tool is forgiveness. How do we show we forgive someone? What do we say or do?

• What’s the hard part about forgiving someone?

• Review how each of the other Tools in the Toolbox can help them with the Apology and Forgiveness Tool

Practice and implementation- choose from the following:

• When you’ve made a mistake with a child or your class, as soon as is practically possible express a genuine apology. It’s great to do this in front of the whole class as it shows everyone that you are human and models a coping strategy.

• Notice and “name” it when kids use their Apology & forgiveness Tool.

• Look for and ask kids to identify when characters in literature are apologizing and/or forgiving.