Burr: Ah, it’s my De- part-ment chair
Hamilton Doctor McClure, sir
Burr: Didja hear the news about the thing called the MR SA?
Hamilton: No
Burr: You know this Covid bug?
Hamilton: Yeah
Burr: It's all over/ in this place, the campus /has now been se cured
Hamilton: Sure
Burr: So now we have to teach online
Hamilton: That's a lot more work
Burr: We gotta give it a try
Hamilton: Ha
Burr: So how we gonna get this classwork through?
Hamilton: I guess I'm gonna finally have to listen to you
Burr: Really
Hamilton: Talk less, tech more
Burr: Ha
Hamilton: Do whatever it takes to get this spring term out the door
Burr: Now undergrads in online class can be merciless
Hamilton: Well, do the work, plan the events
Burr: How do I—
Hamilton: I’m sorry prof, I've gotta go
Burr: But--
Hamilton: This stuff’ll get de-ci-ded by the regents
Burr: One professor and some undergrads sign into a chat
Burr, Chorus: Using laptops that are old, yo
Burr: They emerge with a lesson, having studied all the things that
They were mostly told
Burr, Chorus: Bros
Burr: The undergrads emerge with exciting information
New knowledge they can shape however they want
The profs end with a course that’s already packaged
And here's the pièce de résistance...
Everyone was in
the Zoom where it happened
the Zoom where it happened
the Zoom where it happened
Everyone was in
the Zoom where it happened
the Zoom where it happened
the Zoom where it happened
No one really knows just how much to be afraid
The viral cascade
How we can best evade
The Deans just assume it’ll happen
But everyone was in
the Zoom where it happened
Chorus: Trains and planes
Jefferson: Covid-19 was turned up on our doorstep one day
With distress ‘n disarray
Chorus: Trains and planes
Jefferson: The students all said
Student: We still deserve to learn
Student: And what about the dough we paid?
Chorus: Trains and planes
Adams: They said how bout a course online
I know you hate it, but there just has got to be some way
Chorus: Trains and planes
Burr: I.T. arranged the software
They arranged the menu, the bandwidth, the screen share
And
Everyone was in
the Zoom where it happened
the Zoom where it happened
the Zoom where it happened
Everyone was in
the Zoom where it happened
the Zoom where it happened
the Zoom where it happened
No one really knows how
Fast that it will spread
Did I buy way too much handsoap or
Are we just all dead
If I “achoo” did it happen?
Well everyone is in
The Zoom where it happens
Chorus: Meanwhile
Burr: Lectures getting garbled/ when the net chokes / off all our bandwidth due to /all the classes streaming
Chorus: Meanwhile
Burr: TAs look for another service
Chorus: (Bluejeans!|Hangouts!|Skype!|Jitsi!|WhatsApp!|etc)
Burr: It’s not redeeming
Then someone posts a guide on how to do our online teaching
on academic Facebook nearly everybody reaching
Jefferson: Maybe we can solve one problem with another and win a victory for higher ed, It’s like they said
Madison: Oh no,
Jefferson: You have to go
Madison: Not online
Jefferson: Wouldn’t you like to work a little closer to home?
Madison: Not like this,
Jefferson: If we all social distance
Madison: Then they make the content?
Jefferson: And there won’t be resistance...
Madison: Let’s go
Burr: No!
One wanted in to
The zoom where it happened
The zoom where it happened
The zoom where it happened
No one wanted in
The Zoom where it happened
The Zoom where it happened
The Zoom where it happened
Burr: My God
In them we trust
But the faculty don’t know what got discussed
Click-boom then it happened
And now we’re all up in the Zoom where it happens
Chorus: Excuse me Mr. Chancellor
Burr: What did they say to you to get you to sign us up for this software trial?
Chorus: Excuse Me Mr. Chancellor
Burr: Did Washington know about the outbreak
Was there Presidential pressure or denial
Chorus: Excuse me Mr. Chancellor
Burr: Or did you know, even then, it doesn’t matter
if the class is interactive
Hamilton Cause staying apart
Is all that we’ve got
If we’re about to stave
Off this here terrible lot
We must stay in the game by staying outta the game
A virus cannot win unless it gets in the game
Oh, we’ll get love for it, we’ll get hurt for it
We’ll get through the term just
Work for it, work for it, work
Hey we’re not the fastest
We’re Not gonna build
Something that’s gonna
Outlast this
What do you want, Chair?
What do you want Chair?
If we meet with noone
Then why are we out there….
Burr: I
I Wanna be in
A Zoom where it happens
A Zoom where it happens
I
Wanna be in
The Zoom where it happens
The Zoom where it happens
I
Wanna be
The Zoom where it happens
I
Wanna be in the Zoom
Oh
Oh
I wanna be in
The Zoom where it happens
The Zoom where it happens
The Zoom where it happens
I wanna be in the Zoom
Where it happens
The Zoom where it happens
The Zoom where it happens
Chorus: We all have to sanitize
Burr: Wash your hands don’t touch your eyes
Chorus: We want our leaders to save the day
Burr: But it’s on us to work out how to stay away
Chorus: We all teach from the heart
Burr: But we’re starting from scratch for the most part
Work out how Zoom makes it happen
We’ve got to be in
The Zoom (where it happens)
We’ve got to be (in the Zoom where it happens)
We’ve got to be (in the Zoom where it happens)
Oh, We’ve got to be in
The Zoom where it happens
We’ve got to be, we’ve gotta be, we’ve gotta be
In the Zoom where it happens
Chorus: Suddenly we’re all online
All: Click boom!