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Ours had the kiss, and it was a mass too. We didn't talk about it before with the priest. Did you get married in Mexico?


I also don't understand waiting to kiss. If you don't have enough self control to kiss your FI without jumping his bones, you have problems.


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i just love all the judgements being passed around on those who wait to kiss until marriage. just because they chose to protect their purity, doesn't mean they have no self-control or are insane. i rather think it might be the other way around.

For those of you who are already married and did either of the above, was either one awkward? Either people clapping over the presentation in the one I prefer, or an awkward just kissing and walking away in the one FH prefers?

The couple were married in a Lutheran ceremony. I know some/most church services focus heavily on the church part, with sometimes just a small bit for the actual wedding part (vows/rings). Their ceremony followed this structure, which we expected. However, there was no kiss or pronouncement. Several people afterwards were commenting on how strange that was, H and I included.

Has anyone else ever been to a Lutheran (or other Christian) wedding that didn't have the first kiss? Do you know why it's not included? I'm wondering what the rationale for not including it is. From google searching, it seems like it is really common to include it, because all I got were scripts for Lutheran ceremonies, and they all definitely included a kiss and pronouncement.

That's what we want to know- why? It seems like, as I suspected, it was a church-specific thing, not a general Lutheran denomination thing. But no one could tell us why- not even the groom, beyond just "Pastor doesn't do that". I'm guessing I won't find answers here, because it's probably not a common thing, but I figured I'd try.

The ceremony started with some hymns/prayers/readings/sermon. Then there were the very traditional intent statements, vows, and rings. After the rings there were a couple more hymns sung and then some more prayers, then they walked down. No one clapped either, which was also really weird.

Also raised Lutheran, have attended many Lutheran weddings (and I'm from one of the most conservative Synods), and there is always a kiss and a pronouncement. And clapping (although short and not very loud lol). That's very strange to me. And in the Lutheran Church in general, they are supposed to follow specific scripts according to their synod and individual districts dictates, so the Pastor can't (or shouldn't) act in a way against those. Of course they can personalize ceremonies, but to ban a kiss would be very unusual.

I'm not sure about the Lutheran faith but Catholics do not pronounce the couple as man and wife because the priest or deacon do not actually marry them, they marry each other through mutual consent with their vows.

So sounds like it was just something strange about that specific church. That's kind of what we figured. It just seems like a really strange thing to ban. They're definitely not anti-physical affection because everyone prayed for the brides womb to be like a fruitful vine at the start of the ceremony, so physical affection is definitely ok once you're married.

It could be church policy or an Pastor Policy. My first wedding we did not kiss at the alter as the pastor had seen one too many make out sessions, lol. I did not really care (it was a Lutheran church, btw) and I think it is the norm in Lutheran Churches to seal it with a kiss.

By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway


"You may kiss the bride."


We have all heard that phrase hundreds of times. In fact, I have probably spoken it hundreds of times, or something close, such as: "Please share your first kiss as a married couple" or "seal it with a kiss."


But a kiss is not just a kiss in every culture.


For example, while it is common in the west for the Father of the Bride to kiss his daughter the day of the wedding as he escorts her down the aisle, that gesture would be awkward or unheard of to Chinese or Korean dad and with parents from any culture where public affection is not common. On the other hand, I've seen Jewish fathers kiss their new son-in-laws on the lips, British family double kiss on the check, and Slavian people kiss three times on alternating cheeks.


I have also seen every kiss and act of affection imaginable between bride and groom at the altar: A peck on the cheek, a hug, a fist bump, a long kiss on the lips, a series if kisses on the mouth, a full open-mouth tongue kiss, kissing through tears of joy, and kissing so passionately that friends and loved one scream, "get a room."


As much as we like to think of kissing as spontaneous, you would be surprised how much thought some brides put into the kiss. Having to contend with make-up, big dresses with trains, shyness, performance anxiety, and possibly conservative relatives, there is often talk in our consultations of how they will kiss and for how long.


Every culture has its feelings about kissing, and individuals have their preferences about public smooching as well, so it is something to be aware of on your wedding day. With that in mind, come up with a comfortable way to kiss at the wedding altar. Please make sure you have fun practicing!


1. Consider you own level of comfort with public affection. If this is not something you or your mate are used to, you can do a very small, brief kiss just to seal your ceremony. I have married more than one bride who kissed her beloved on the cheek at the end of the ceremony, and that was just about as much that either one of them could handle.


2. Think about your family traditions. Are mom and dad affectionate with one another in public? Will seeing a big, wet wedding kiss make your grandmother faint? Does your family clank wine glasses with spoons or ring bells demanding that you kiss? What is the typical wedding kiss like in the culture you both hail from? Some couples adapt their kiss to the comfort level of the family.


3. Is one of you a bigger kisser than the other. Some couples don't see eye to eye about kissing at the wedding. She wants a big smooch, he thinks it is disrespectful, and so on. It is good to get a sense of which way things will go on the big day, before the big day. Hell hath no furry like a woman whose lipstick has been kissed off before the photos are taken of the couple walking back up the aisle.


4. Go For It. When everything is said and done, it is your wedding and you can kiss any way you choose. Some couples go full out tongue kissing, to the point of people screaming, "get a room." 


There is no right or wrong way to kiss on your wedding day. Like anything else in the ceremony, having a sense of how you would like to kiss and be kissed can relieve any "performance" pressure.


In truth, the kiss is the big moment when you can sigh and say, "The ceremony is over... and, yay, we are married."

Kissing at a wedding symbolizes love and commitment. The first kiss usually happens at the end of the ceremony, after the vows and rings. Now that the couple has exchanged vows and rings, they solidify their commitment with their first kiss as newlyweds.

While you may be tempted to choreograph the perfect first kiss, a practiced kiss can come off stiff and inauthentic. Instead, talk with your partner about what you both want the kiss to look like. Plan to skip any dramatics, like a dip, and trust that the emotion of the moment will make your first kiss perfect for you!

The kiss usually symbolizes the end of your wedding ceremony. Depending on your exact ceremony script, the kiss will come after any readings, vows and your ring exchange. Your wedding officiant will pronounce you as a married couple and then invite you to share your first kiss.

After the kiss, you may go off to the side to sign your marriage licence, thought some couples choose to do this after their ceremony instead. Once the licence is signed, your officiant will announce you as a married couple for the first time. Your guests will go wild as you process back up the aisle!

Riana Ang-Canning has been working with Young Hip & Married since 2017. She is a professional content writer with experience in travel, lifestyle and weddings. Riana not only writes Young Hip & Married blog posts but is also involved with the company's internal communications, social media, copywriting and more. She knows YHM, and the wedding world, inside and out!

Put simply, we have no legal authority to 'grant permission' for a first kiss as a married couple, and bestowing some sort of authority upon a Groom is far outdated.

It may be semantics but I never 'give permission' however at the couple's request, I may invite them to 'share' a kiss' or say nothing and let their emotions spontaneously rise.


Photographers will insist on a kiss as they regard it as their 'money shot' just as videographers will insist on an exit down the aisle, because 'it looks good on video' but I see such insistence as a limitation of their creativity.


The fact is that the requirement for the solemnisation of marriage are few and all of the rest is just dressing to further beautify the occasion.


When someone speaks up at a rehearsal (usually a wedding planner or bridesmaid) insisting that tradition dictates a certain process or position, I point out that "traditions are ways people did things hundreds of years ago, but our couple are here and now creating their own new and unique traditions"


So the kiss is optional and the couple's choice.

I don't give permission, they react spontaneously. 

In the briefing with togs and vids, I tell them the couple's wishes.


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