R: Great Friends Think Alike

For no one would choose to live without friends, but possessing all other good things.

— Aristotle, Nicomachean Ethics Book VIII

For many of us, this past year has been one where we must prioritize the communities of which we want to be a part. Restrictions made gathering difficult, so most of us found it necessary to live and socialize only with those with whom we could converse and spend time easily. For many of us, that meant the friends who think like us—who share our values. However, now that we are reentering the broader community of the University, it is worth asking if our true friends should challenge us on the truths that we hold fundamentally. Are there not other qualities such as loyalty, compassion, empathy, and trust that are as, if not more important than sharing one’s values?

Aristotle, the most definitive authority on friendship, says in book eight of his Nicomachean Ethics that, “The perfect form of friendship is that between the good, and those who resemble each other in virtue. For these friends wish each alike the other's good in respect of their goodness…” Is Aristotle not right that a friendship must at least have its foundation in a common sense of virtue? If our friends do not share our ends, can they really be our friends in the greatest sense? 

It may, in this case, be permissible to argue against Aristotle. Is his image of the ideal friendship simply too idealistic for modern political life? After all, Aristotle himself admits these friendships are incredibly rare. There is also a question of what we define as “great.” Aristotle lauds friendships of utility and friendships of pleasure as having their proper place in life too. Can these be considered great?