R: Kinship Supersedes Friendship

Wednesday, September 9th, 2020 at 8:00 p.m. online

Leonardo da Vinci, The Last Supper, ca. 1495–98, tempera on gesso, pitch, and mastic, 460 x 880 cm, Santa Maria delle Grazie, Milan.

The bonds of kinship and friendship are two of the strongest that one can experience. Should our families command greater devotion from us than our closest friends?

Kinship ties obligate family members to love and care for one another. The institution of the family relies on these reciprocal duties between family members to thrive. A person is encouraged to act kindly and sacrificially towards his kin because he knows that they would do the same for him. These acts of kindness and sacrifice have a profoundly human element to them, for they show us what it means to love. How wonderful it would be if the family could be an unassailable bastion of genuine love in a world where superficial politeness is so often a facade for self-interest!

And yet, our friends are those with whom we willingly associate because of shared first principles. Though not always our literal kin, they are nevertheless kindred souls that can delight us and move us to admiration as much as our own families (if not more). One might think of the legendarily strong friendship between Alexander the Great and Hephaestion; when a captive mistook Hephaestion for Alexander, Alexander replied, "You are not mistaken, for this man is Alexander too." Are we really to indiscriminately prioritize blood ties over those who share our deepest values and ambitions?