Ephesians  5

 Ephesians 5

Following God’s Example of Love

Ephesians 5:1 Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children 5:2 and walk [live] in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. NIV

5:1 Therefore, be [become] imitators of God as dear [beloved] children. 5:2 And walk in love, as [just as] Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma. NKJV

The Argument Paul is Presenting

Paul urges the Ephesians to follow God's example. What example does God give us that we can follow and try to imitate? The concept illustrated three times is love. This is what Paul has in mind, since we cannot copy God as Creator and Master of the Universe.

So how can we walk the way of love, as God's own dearly loved Children?  We can love others following God’s example, who loves the worst of us.

We are to walk the way of love as Christ gave up himself for us. Thus, we can live our lives, sharing ourselves and our possessions, in love with others. Believers cannot live for themselves, isolating themselves from others or not caring when others are in pain. 

This is an impossibility unless we know—we know it from our hearts—that we are loved by God and do love Him in return. If this is not the case, it is impossible for anyone to walk in the way of love. To love others is what it means to be a disciple of Jesus: “Everyone will know that you are my disciples if you love one another” (John 13:35).

As God’s Dearly Loved Children, the Children He Loves

Always remember, you are God’s loved children. You have not been left as an “orphan” (John 14:18), as one who has no one to love them and care for them.

We know the truth about ourselves. We are not so lovely, often mean, cruel, hateful, and deceptive, yet somehow God loves us. Would we do that if we were God, from our calm eternity? Because we are to love those who are bitter and troubled, by keeping their best interest in mind, as God does. Jesus states our need to love even more strongly: “I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matt 5:44).

• The New Century Version says: “I tell you, love your enemies. Pray for those who hurt you” (Matt 5:44).

• The New Life Version says: “But I tell you, love those who hate you. (Respect and give thanks for those who say bad things to you. Do good to those who hate you.) Pray for those who do bad things to you and who make it hard for you” (Matt 5:44).

• The Amplified Bible says: “But I say to you, love [that is, unselfishly seek the best or higher good for] your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Mat 5:44).

• Jesus said: “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you” (John 15:12).

Humans sometimes struggle to love their wives, husbands, or their own children, let alone strangers across the globe who dress and speak differently. God also loves those who follow different customs and doctrines. Paul challenges us to let love live above language, culture, and the differences between human societies.

Follow God’s Example

This is God’s example for us to follow. We are to imitate God’s love in our circle, even to those we are not attracted to or wish to avoid. How can we imitate God’s example? We know that God has loved us and cared for us while we were faulty. With a measure of knowing God’s love for us, really knowing it, we are led to treat others with love. As best as we can, sometimes only from a distance. We learn to hold firmly to our need to love the fallen, in hope they will come to know God’s love also.

God Loves Us in the Present Tense

In the Greek, the love of God for us is in the present tense, not in the future tense. God’s love is not just mere toleration of us, until “In a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. For the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality” (1 Cor 15:52,53). God does not wait for us to be changed into a superior body and mind before He loves us. No, God loves us in our present state of weakness with misunderstandings; this is the goodness of God.

• “The goodness of God endures continually” (Ps 52:1 NKJV).

As you read this, we ask you to acknowledge, to be assured, and let a knowledge of God’s love  settle profoundly deep in the pockets of your soul: So you can say “I know that God Loves Me.” Acknowledge it to God right now, because it is true. Renew it daily and rest in it as you sleep.

We Are God’s Dearly Loved Children

God declares us to be His dearly loved children.  When God spoke out loud to the world, He said in the Literal Standard Version: “a voice out of the cloud, saying, ‘This is My Son, the Beloved, in whom I delighted; hear Him’” (Matt 17:5).  Dearly loved and beloved are the same Greek word.

In the Literal Standard Version, Ephesians 5:1 reads, “Become, then, followers of God, as beloved children.”

The love God has for His Son is paralleled in the love He has for His children, His followers. In the longest prayer of Jesus to His Father: “My prayer is not for them alone [His disciples]. I pray also for those who believe in me through their message [their Epistles]… Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me” (John 17:20, 23). The love of God is in the same measure, the same equal proportion, just as, even as, God loved His Son.

When God loves, it is wholehearted and persevering, far different than what we have learned about love in our society.

Christ Also Loves Us, and God Loves Us

Paul is not satisfied with just saying in unmistakable words that God loves you. He adds an assurance: just as God loves us, Christ also loves us.

It is almost like being loved by two parents, both mother and father. However, Christ's love is not just words we are to accept; it is in action, giving Himself for us.

How do we get closer to this love that both God and His Son Jesus Christ have for us?

First, acknowledge the truth of God’s love in your prayers. Ask God to reveal Himself to you, so you can “Taste and see that the Lord is good” (Ps 34:8). Pray that you may “know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God” (Eph 3:19). Make this a subject of your earnest prayers.

Second, take time to think and read about descriptions of God’s love. In time—often shorter than you expect—you will know about God’s love for yourself. Let it settle deep into the pockets of our souls. And then, do not lose it by activities that counter the influences of the Spirit, as Paul already described in Ephesians 4:29-31.

As a Sacrifice to God for a Sweet-Smelling Aroma

Here we see Christ's death and the resulting atonement that provides forgiveness and adoption into the family of God. Jesus did it for God, His Father. It was his personal sacrifice, not only for the fallen sinner, but also for His Father in heaven. The amazing thing is that all the inconvenience, pain, and humiliation that His Son endured for sinners did not make God despise fallen humanity. But instead, the suffering of His Son was a sweet-smelling aroma.

This was not due to His Son’s pain, but instead, as a measure of the love of God for the broken world. So that they may find confession of sin, forgiveness by God, and eternal life. God looked past the great sacrifice of His Son—to see the results, and it pleased God to see us saved with eternal life. It was only by the love the Son had for the Father and only by the love God and His Son had for the rebellious, sin-driven souls.  For the joy set before Him in displaying his love for us, “he endured the cross, scorning [disregarding] its shame” (Heb 12:2). This included the personal shame of being rejected, abused, shunned, and publicly displayed as naked before all to see.

God loved His Son; God sent His loved Son on a death mission, bringing about the redemption of humanity, which hated Him. It all was a sweet aroma to God, because his love could be extended, on account of His Son, to awaken sinners to the love of both the Father and the Son. 

Therefore, Follow God’s Example

We are to live differently than those who do not know God, because we are God’s dearly loved children. This is the same Greek word used at the baptism of Jesus when the Father publicly said, “This is my Son, whom I love” (Matt 3:17), or the Son whom God dearly loves. Because of our faith in God’s Son, God loves us with an unimaginable love, similar to how He loved His Son. God is not stingy or restrictive with His love; He offers it broadside. He offers it, not to those who are as perfect and holy as His Son, but to those who seek Him, needing forgiveness. After time, our hearts will openly praise God: “Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me! (Ps 66:20).

• “Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens” (Ps 68:19)

•  “The Lord lives! Praise be to my Rock! Exalted be God my Savior!” (Ps 18:46)

• “For the Lord is great and greatly to be praised” (Ps 96:4 NKJV)

• “While I live I will praise the Lord; I will sing praises to my God while I have my being” (Ps 146:2 NKJV)

•  “Praise the Lord! For it is good to sing praises to our God; For it is pleasant, and praise is beautiful” (Ps 147:1 NKJV)

So, Let’s Ask Paul: What Way are We to Live Differently?

Is it in the way we dress, the food we eat, the style of our clothes, the amount of money we give to charity? Or is it seen in accepting a set of church doctrines or a prophetic understanding of end-time events? If not, how should we, as children loved by God, loved by Christ, loved from heaven, and loved on earth, imitate God?

Paul tells us something so simple: “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Eph 4:32). Paul’s advice is to be compassionate and kindhearted, based on the example of God toward us. In this way, we imitate God in a demonstrative way; we show ourselves to be “children of God.”

Every time we have an opportunity to be kind, forgiving, and caring for others, we please God who has loved us. This is exactly what God did, in sending His Son in sacrifice, in obedience to the will of the Father—so that the honor of a heavenly, full-colored love can envelop confessing humanity.  This is Paul’s theme until the end of this chapter.

Follow God’s Example

Now that we know that God loves “me,” view yourself as if you are a young child in His arms, feeling loved by your good Father. Very young children wish to imitate their fathers and please them. To please God is to reflect the love we have abundantly received toward others.

Paul asks us to copy God's example. The example we must clearly see is the “goodness of God” (Rom 2:4 NKJV). We must see it clearly enough to copy it. The foremost picture of God's love is John 3:16, which shows that God’s love is giving in nature. God gave up something dear to His heart, His one and only Son. God did not love the world because it was perfect; despite its imperfections, God still loved it.

The twenty-five words of John 3:16 have a global and universal appeal. It captures our attention. It stands apart, earning first place among over 30,000 verses of the Bible. Once heard, it becomes instantly known and seldom ever forgotten. We have asked several believers with late-stage Alzheimer’s, who had lost their memory of people and places, if they knew John 3:16. Amazingly, they did! They couldn't remember any other Bible verse.

•  God—Greatest lover.

• So loved—The greatest degree.

• The world—The greatest company.

• That he gave—The greatest act.

• His only begotten son—The greatest gift.

• The whosoever—The greatest opportunity.

• Believeth—The greatest simplicity.

• In Him—The greatest attraction.

• Should not perish—The greatest promise.

• But—The greatest difference

• Have—The greatest certainty.

• Everlasting life—The greatest possession.

God’s love for the world leads all humanity to perceive a good God. God’s love is self-giving at a cost to Himself—self-giving for you and for me. A God with all hands on deck, not remote in action; He has “predestined us for adoption to sonship” (Eph 1:4).

King David remarked, “O Lord, Your tender mercies and Your loving kindnesses, for they are from of old” (Ps 25:6 NKJV). God “crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies” (Ps 103:4 NKJV). The word loving-kindness means “goodness, kindness, and love.” It comes from God, not due to any human merit or acts of obedience. The word “tender-mercies” portrays God’s warmest affections for us. These qualities of God are not newly found, but are from old, from eternity; God has always been like this.

The Apostle John said, “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!” (1 John 3:1). Look at it. God’s love is not given in small amounts but lavished on us. John draws the same conclusion contemplating the love of God as Paul, which tells us to follow God’s example: “Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another” (1 John 4:11).

As a Fragrant Offering

Jesus offered himself as the way for those whom God loves dearly to receive the gift of eternal life from His hands. Jesus did this with no regret or hesitation, out of love for His Father and love for us; to Him, it was dual love. His life on earth was so sweet and fragrant; God said out loud, “This is my Son, whom I love; with Him I am well pleased. Listen to Him!” (Matt 17:5). The fact that God loved His Son, Jesus our Lord, includes us, all of us, you and your loved ones, when we have faith. Jesus said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace” (Lk 7:50).

 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God” (Eph 2:8). God’s gift is His saving love, redeeming love, forgiving love, generous love, faithful love, earnest love, wholesome love, true love, and enduring love. This love will last for eternity.

When we have faith in the forgiveness of sin provided by Christ, because both Christ and His Father loved us, it is a gift of love from both of them. This gift cannot be earned, now or ever; God intended this gift to be something this world can’t offer. A resurrection from death, becoming “heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ” (Rom 8:17). God gives us a gift that can only be received from Him by faith alone. For “all are justified freely by His [God’s] grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus” (Rom 3:24).

As a Sacrifice to God

In the Old Testament, when animals were brought to the Hebrew sanctuary, they were regarded as gifts to God. They were accepted by God as an acted-out drama that illustrated forgiveness of sins. Without a way for sinners to receive God’s eternal life, their “iniquities” will “separate” them from God and hide “his face” from them (Isa 59:2).

Jesus voluntarily, on behalf of his love for God and us, gave something of Himself, the only possible sacrifice, which was a divine substitute who pays the penalty for our offenses of unkindness, selfishness, and the many hurtful things we have done. Now there is hope for all the repentant and forgiven to be part of God's larger family, who regards us as His dearly loved children. God has conditions for being part of His eternal family in the future; they are based on love. So, by His grace, God and His Son give us the condition we need to move forward into forgiveness and the removal of all our guilt, made available through our faith.

God has gone the second mile for us. He has promised the Holy Spirit to “abide with you and will be in you” (John 14:17 NAS)—this makes all the difference in our lives as believers. Yes, this is true.

Walking the Way of Love

Walking is an example of making daily progress. Paul wants us to grow “in the way of love” (1 Cor 14:1), pure love. This is love free from any form of lust. Love free from any desire to take advantage of someone’s wealth, their social standing, or their influence.

 To move in the direction of having more love on a daily basis is the prayer of Paul: “And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight” (Phil 1:9).

When walking in love, we will give ourselves to others in their needs—at our expense and trouble—even if they are ungrateful. More love to Thee, thus more love to all others. This is the way we become imitators of God. Some people, we can only love by keeping our distance. We can love the very unlovable by asking God to reveal His love to them.

“More love to Thee, O Lord! More love to Thee!
Hear Thou the prayer I make, on bended knee;
This is my earnest plea:
  More love, O Lord, to Thee, More love to Thee.”

Lyrics: Elizabeth Prentiss (1818-1878)

. In 1856, following the nearly fatal illness of her daughter Minnie, she wrote the hymn "More Love to Thee.”

Paul Directs Attention to the Conduct

of God’s Dearly Loved Children

Ephesians 5:3 But [because of God’s love 5:1-2] among you there must not be even a hint of (1#) sexual immorality [promiscuity], or of any (2#) impurity, or of (3#) greed, because these are improper for God’s holy [loved] people. 5:4 Nor should there be (4#) obscenity [vulgar, dirty], (5#) foolish talk [without reason] or (6#) coarse joking [indecent, vile, nasty], which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving [with grace]. NIV

5:3 But (1#) fornication and all (2#) uncleanness or (3#) covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints; 5:4 neither (4#) filthiness, nor (5#) foolish talking, nor (6#) coarse jesting, which are (7#) not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. NKJV

The Text

The NIV adds the expression “not even a hint” to the Greek text.  A more exact translation would be “not even named,” as in the NKJV.  The Berean Study Bible and the Amplified Bible support the NIV translation, which gives added emphasis to Paul’s instruction.

The NKJV used an older word for sexual immorality, fornication. Both words mean prostitution, including adultery and incest, which were themes in ancient Greek literature.

The NKJV used older words, uncleanness and covetousness, while the NIV used newer English words, impurity and greed.

But Now, After What Paul Just Said

Considering God’s love calling us His “dearly loved children”. Now, in view of the love Christ has shown us, we are to “walk in the way of love” (Eph 5:1-2). What does it mean to walk in a way of love as God has shown us? Paul wants the Ephesians to see that sexual immorality is incompatible with God’s proven love. God’s love and sexual promiscuity are opposites.

1—Sexual Immorality

The Greek is just one word, a feminine noun called porneia. This, in general, is sexual immorality, including fornication, adultery, and other illicit sexual practices. The word is derived from pernaō, meaning “to sell off,” such as the selling of human sexuality, as in pornography and prostitution. These forms of sexual misconduct are widely prohibited today, due to Christian influences, by many secular nations of the world.

In ancient Rome and Greece, there were no restrictions on buying and selling slave women or men of any age, which could include abusive practices. Open prostitution was common throughout all of the Roman Empire; even some pagan temples included its practice, following the example of the temple goddess.

It is not possible to account for all the misery, regret, difficulties, loss of self-respect, and personal failure of experiencing warm, affectionate, trusting, over a long period of time, family love. All due to sexual indiscretions.

To men and women, sexual impurity sends them downward into a path which hardens them to hear the gospel call of repentance and the privilege of being “led by the Spirit” (Gal 5:18) in their lives. These men soon develop “eyes full of adultery” (2 Pet 2:14), seeking to take advantage of every possible opportunity to satisfy their lust, safely and quietly. With some, the sexual urges become so strong that they lose the ability to control them.

This condition is incompatible with the love of God. It will silence the awareness of the Holy Spirit in our lives; before they know it, depression and despair will settle in the place where once joy and “love of the Spirit” (Rom 15:30) lived, before their lustful “desires lead them on and drag them away” (James 1:14 NIRV).

Yes, sexual sins will drag us away from God, from true love, from family, and if not arrested by the hand of God, “into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth” (Matt 8:12).

2—Impurity or Uncleanness

This conveys the idea of sexual defilement, which separates believers from their faith in God. Paul does not use this term in the OT sense, which was eating certain unclean foods that created a state of impurity (see Lev 11). In the sense Paul uses it, it weakens or destroys faith, resulting in spiritual “darkness” (Eph 5:8), which often leads to cruel deeds at the expense of others. “For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life” (1 Thess 4:7).

Jesus and the disciples confronted and cast out “impure spirits” (Matt 10:1), which was demon possession. Perhaps sexual immorality opens the door of our souls for evil influences to dominate us. Since it makes us unclean, unclean evil spirits find an open door to our hearts.

3—Greed or Covetousness

This means to desire what belongs to another. As the 10th commandment says, “You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife” (Ex 20:17).

Why is it called greediness? Because coveting is never satisfied with one sensual look or thought but wants more and more. Never satisfied, this is how the pornographic industry becomes rich. Users of pornographic literature are never satisfied because they are caught in the vice grip of the lust of their hearts. To which Jesus says, “Your whole body is to be thrown into hell” (Matt 5:29).

4—Obscenity or Filthiness

This is behavior or speech that is shameful, indecent, or morally offensive. There will come a time when “the judge of all the earth” (Gen 18:25) “will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart” (1 Cor 4:5).

Thank God we are “covered with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect” (1 Pet 1:19). Those who by faith are “in Christ” have nothing to be ashamed of; even the record of one’s wanton mistakes is covered, never visible. Visualize this as fact.

5—Foolish Talk

In general, this means to be involved in trivial, frivolous, and meaningless conversation for hours at a time. Sports and Political talk are examples of conversations that are valuable only for the day, and often only for that hour. Who would wish to spend a day replaying an old sports or political podcast?

In Paul’s farewell address to the Ephesian Elders, he told them: “Now I commit you to God and to the word of his grace, which can build you up and give you an inheritance among all those who are sanctified” (Acts 20:32). Paul told the Corinthians that he had been given “authority” by “the Lord…for building you up, not for tearing you down” (2 Cor 10:8; 13:10).

We build others up through encouraging words and loving deeds for everyone's benefit. Words have power; they create influences for good and bad. “A wise word that you speak at the right time is a beautiful thing. It is like a gold apple on a silver plate” (Prov 25:11 Easy English Bible)

The way to avoid hours of sports talk which gives endless analysis of its players, is to let our “conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt” (Col 4:6). Jesus taught this principle about our words and our lives saying, “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot” (Matt 5:13).” Words from the mouth of the wise are gracious” (Ecc 10:12)

Saltless words hurt, cut, and burn others. Not one of these slanderous words, recklessly spoken, is worth remembering as saltless salt; it could be used to preserve food in ancient times.

• "May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer."  Ps 19:14

• "Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones."  Prov 16:24

• "The tongue of the righteous is choice silver, but the heart of the wicked is of little value. The lips of the righteous nourish many, but fools die for lack of sense."  Prov 10:20-21

6—Course Joking and Jesting

Paul is talking about degrading and indecent conversations. Such is not good-natured but full of mockery, with sexual illusions that are embarrassing or insulting. Purity of speech is a leading sign that one has been with Jesus.

When Peter watched the trial of Jesus before the Sanhedrin, they recognized him by his Galilean accent, like Jesus, who spent much of his ministry in Galilee. Peter denied even knowing the man Jesus. To prove it, “he began to call down curses, and he swore to them, ‘I don’t know the man!’ Immediately, after Peter's curses, a rooster crowed. Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken: ‘Before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.’ And he went outside and wept bitterly” (Matt 26:73-75).

Peter, to prove he was not a follower of Jesus, used profanity, for Jesus was known as a man of very uplifting and pure language. It was well known that the followers of Jesus had a purity of speech about them, because they had been with Jesus, who was known never to use such speech, even when provoked.

Another point to learn from this account. Peter was convicted of his sin, instantly. So likewise will one who has been with Jesus; the ill-spoken words and inappropriate comments will bring tears of repentance before God, because they know they have hurt the Lord they love.

7—Out of Place, Not Fitting

The reason why the above examples are so out of place is that our “bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit” (1 Cor 6:19). This means we have a holy influence. This divine presence abides with us, creating a circle of influence that elevates the conversations around us. Paul wanted to be a “pleasing aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing” (2 Cor 2:15).

If we are followers of God, our Father’s example, we will be very uncomfortable with any slang that makes light of darkness and dishonors God. A believer will feel very out of place where faith in God is ridiculed with words that slander Jesus and heavenly things. They will avoid Bars, saloons, and other places where light and trivial language is the conversation theme. Often, impure words are part of the atmosphere. If you are about to enter such a place, run the opposite way, calling on God to deliver you from the unclean demons inside that place.

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving, as David expressed to God, “I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds” (Ps 9:1) and “Praise the Lord. Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever” (Ps 106:1). Praise and thanksgiving to God cannot be expressed alongside obscenity or greed. They are opposites, like hot and ice-cold. A believer makes the spirit of praise and thanksgiving the answer to all coarse joking or jesting that often bites into another.

A Lesson by King David

In Psalm 51, Nathan the prophet confronted David after the sexual affair with Bathsheba. David knew he would lose the Holy Spirit unless God would change his heart. He prayed:

• “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from Your presence, and do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.” Ps 51:10-11

• “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.”  Matt 5:8

Ephesians 5:5 For of this you can be sure [very confident]: No immoral, impure, or greedy person—such a person is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. 5:6 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. NIV

5:5 For this you know that no fornicator, unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. 5:6 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. NKJV

Impure or Unclean

The Greek word is translated as either unclean or impure. Jesus “cast out” “unclean spirits” (Matt 10:1; 12:43) 17 times in the gospels. Paul links together the sexually immoral with the concept of unclean spirits, which are demons that have taken over human beings.

It was Paul’s understanding that immoral acts such as adultery and fornication are opportunities for demons to take over human desires. The evidence of demon influence is when sexual desires influence the thoughts, ideals, and dreams in everyday life. To satisfy these desires, all kinds of evil—murders, rapes, incest, and abuses in the home—are noted daily in news accounts.

John calls it “lust of the flesh and lust of the eyes” (1 John 2:6), giving the location of these desires as physical cravings. Life becomes “chasing after the lusts of your own hearts and eyes” (Num 15:39).

Covetous and Greedy

Paul calls the sexually immoral covetous, as the 10th commandment says, “You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife” (Dt 5:21). They are called greedy because they are likely to have a wife and yet wish to add another man’s wife; they are never satisfied.

If there were no civil restraints against sexual aggression, society would be broken with injustice, violence, and murder on an unimaginable scale. This is often the condition of war, where the victors take the spoils of women and goods.

Idolator

Paul further calls the sexually immoral person an idolater. This means that, no matter if the person driven by lust is a member of the church in good standing. They are not worshiping God at all; they are serving an idol of their own making called the goddess of sexual satisfaction. This is where their hearts are at; whether they love their idol or not, they are devoted to serving their needs.

No Eternal Inheritance in God’s Kingdom

Even if the sexually lustful person should profess to believe in Jesus, Paul says Let no one deceive you, that is to tell you that any form of lust is not important to faith in God.  These deceivers may assure you that going to church on the Lord’s Day, paying tithe, or something else will give you an inheritance in heaven. They are deceiving you if they make these things more essential than purity of heart. “Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart” (2 Tim 2:22).

God’s Wrath—Modern Idolatry

Greece and Rome had many idols, but today we have countless more.  Each channel on TV that promotes sexual content is an idol temple. Movie theaters that display adult themes on a super-sized screen, as the worshipers eat popcorn and drink sugary drinks, are devoted to an idol. The language of idolatry is cursing, with impure vulgarity.

According to Paul, worshipers of these idols that offer their devotees sexual displays of immorality face the wrath of God. We should be aware that when we willingly pay large sums to the gods of impurity to sit for several hours in their temple and watch big-screen productions such as 007, spiritual “darkness” (Eph 5:8) finds entrance into our souls.

What are the results? The worst kind possible: the “love of the Father is not in them” (1 John 2:15). They lose the love of God in their lives. What a huge loss these gods of the fleshly lust extract from a believer.

Sadly, if they are a pastor or gospel worker, their ministry is severely compromised and will be devoid of the Spirit. The worst thing possible happens to leaders of the church who are compromised by modern idols of our society—they don’t even know they are attempting to serve two masters, one God and the other “lust of the flesh”. Thus they cannot warn their members of the severe danger of modern idolatry. They cannot tell them as John said, “Dear children, keep yourselves from idols” (1 John 5:21).

Christians who follow the idols of “lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life, comes not from the Father, but from the world” (1 John 2:16). That is our world, which is full of idols that encourage sexual freedom and pride, which is love of their many possessions and money; exchange these for the inheritance of eternal life with a city built by God. This is a miserable exchange, for it brings, unless they awaken to the truth of these idols, they will face eternal non-existence.

Prophecy depicts a judgment day: “Then one of the seven angels…saying to me, 'Come, I will show you the judgment of the great harlot…with whom the kings of the earth committed fornication, and the inhabitants of the earth were made drunk with the wine of her fornication” (Rev 17:1,2). The “kings of the earth” are the influencers of society, coming from Hollywood studios and the internet, that spread Western cultures of unbridled sex appeal, which focus on crime, blood, and sex to entertain. They will have a sad day of judgment for their influence on society. 

 The Great Harlot, John has already described, is “love of the world”: its lust for sexual things, its commercialism, and its thirst for wealth and money, which will all “pass away” (1 John 2:15-17).

Immoral and godless behavior has made our world, our society, drunk. The internet offers much helpful learning and harmless entertainment. Still, the wine of fornication will intoxicate the mind with insatiable desires when anyone freely turns their eyes to the power of war, bloodshed, hatred, and murder, all mingled with exciting sexual displays. “The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God” (2 Cor 4:4)

Nobody ever needs to face God's wrath. God has provided means, through faith, for all to be “pure in heart, for they will see God” (Matt 5:8).

1.      Unless they have not been “born of the Spirit” (John 3:8)

2.      Unless they have become a “new creation” (2 Cor 5:17).

3.      Unless they have been “made alive with Christ” (Eph 4:5).

4.      Unless they have been “made alive in the Spirit” (1 Pet 3:18).

5.      Unless they have not been “raised up with Christ and seated with him in the heavenly realms” (Eph 2:6)

6.      Unless they have not “been saved, through faith, that not from yourselves, it is a gift of God” so that they can become “God’s handiwork created in Christ Jesus to do good works” (Eph2:8,10)

7.      Unless they have not “become a dwelling where God lives by his Spirit…a holy temple to the Lord” (Eph 2:21,22)

8.      Unless they have not “put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness” (Eph 4:24).

9.      Unless they have been “marked in Him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit…as God’s possession” (Eph 1:13,14).

10. Unless they have not been “taught by God to love one another” (1 Thess 4:9) and not lust after each other.

11. Unless they have not been “saved through the sanctifying work of the Spirit and through belief in the truth” (2 Thess 2:13).

12. Unless they have not “let the Spirit help us in our weakness” (Rom 8:26).

13. Unless they have not been “anointed” with God’s  “seal of ownership on us and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come” (2 Cor 1:21-22).

14. Unless they have not experienced “God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us” (Rom 5:5).

15. Unless they do not have the Helper, Advocate, and the Spirit of Truth, to “live [abide] with you and be with you” (John 14:16;17).

16. Unless they have “put off your old self…corrupted by its deceitful desires” (Eph 4:22)

17. Unless their “bodies” have become “temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you [inside], whom you have received from God?” (1 Cor 6:19).

18. Unless they have let the Spirit “guide” them (John 16:13), “teach” them (John 14:26), so they can “walk by the Spirit” (Gal 5:16).

19. Unless they have been filled “with the knowledge of His will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives so that you can live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way, bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God…” (Col 1:9,10)

20. Unless they have been  “rescued” from “the dominion of darkness and brought into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins” (Col 1:13,14).

21. Unless they have understood that when they “were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins” (Col 2:13).

22. Unless they know that “at one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life” (Titus 3:3-7).

What are the consequences to a Christian community when “deceitful workers, masquerading as apostles of Christ” enter their church? When “Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light” through these “deceitful workers” (2 Cor 11:13,14). Sexual sins, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, slander, gossip, arrogance, and unbecoming Christian behavior will become common among them. The “secret power of lawlessness” (2 Thess 2:7) will work in their midst.

Ephesians 5:7 Therefore do not be partners [have no share] with them. 5:8 For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live [walk] as children of light. 5:9 For the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth [what is true] 

5:7 Therefore do not be partakers with them. 5:8 For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light 5:9 (for the fruit of the Spirit [light] is in all goodness, righteousness, and truth).

Once Darkness Now Light—An Overview

Paul refers back to the condition of the Ephesian Romans, who had no restrictive laws about sexual activity. A slave owner could demand sex from his female slaves at his pleasure. Prostitutes were common all over the city. As a result, they were living in darkness and had “no inheritance in the Kingdom of Christ of God” (Eph 5:5).

Now, they are children of light, for “God is light; in him there is no darkness at all” (1 John 1:5). Living in the light will recreate in them a mood to be good to others, to be pure, and to treasure the truth of the gospel, “for the praise of His glory” (Eph 1:12).

Do Not Be Partners with Them

Who is Paul referring to? The sexually immoral who are “unclean” due to their sexually free attitudes, pornography addiction, and “course joking” that is filled with indecent innuendos (Eph 5:3-6).

Paul warns believers against being close business partners with, or marrying, such a person. This presents many dangers to one who seeks purity and wants to “walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh” (Gal 5:16).

The love of God for us when he has “predestined us” (Eph 1:5) to be His sons and daughters does not give us license to partner with darkness. Although God is ready to forgive even the very things he forbids, such close association can lead to spiritual loss; a living sense that they are children of God slowly fades into a distant memory.

Some may think they are strong enough to resist darkness; they may be able to rise above it with much prayer. However, it is hard for such one to discern the effect this has on their awareness of the Spirit’s presence in their lives. Light and darkness don’t mix. Darkness will attack the light in an effort to dim the “love in [of] truth” (Eph 4:15), while the light, which is truth, will be attracted to those who seek the light and truth.

You Were Once Darkness (5:8,11; 6:12)

The Ephesians were once pagans embracing an immoral lifestyle as a way of life. They used to dwell, in their imaginations and dreams, in darkness. Jesus said, “If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!” (Matt 6:23). They are “unfit for doing anything good” (Titus 1:16)

• “The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light.  Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh” (Rom 13:12-14).

But Now You are Light in the Lord

The darkness is gone. NOW they are children of light. This change came to the believers in Ephesus not because of something they did, but because of God's grace and love.

• “Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord rises upon you” (Isa 60:1).

• Jesus said, “Therefore, if your whole body is full of light, and no part of it dark, it will be just as full of light as when a lamp shines its light on you” (Lk 11:36).

• “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it…The true light that gives light to everyone was coming into the world… This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil … Believe in the light while you have the light, so that you may become children of light … I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness.” (John 1:5,9; 3:19; 12:36,46).

• “The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God… For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ” (2 Cor 4:4,6).

• “Giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light” (Col 1:12).

Paul explains why it is important not to be joined with those who make darkness their way of life. The way to tell the difference between darkness and light is that those living in the light consistently try to be good to others (goodness), strive to be fair and protect the innocent (righteousness), and have a habit of telling the truth (truth). The “ways of this world” (Eph 2:2) VS the “way of life you learned” (4:20): which is to “let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds [goodness, righteousness & truth] and glorify your Father in heaven” (Matt 5:16).

Fruit of Light

Solomon writes in his epic love poem about the beloved, "Is all I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste” (SS 2:3). The fruit of the light will be sweet and enjoyable, as was the thought of the bride standing near her beloved.

Jesus tells us that when we “bear much fruit,” we show ourselves “to be my disciples.” In the next breath, Jesus said, “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love” (Jn 15:8,9). Thus, the sweet fruit of light is “from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows” (James 1:17)—it is love, the “love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit” (2 Cor 13:14). The “fruit of unfailing love” (Hos 10:12).

The “fruit of the Spirit” is full of light; it is “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control” (Gal 5:22,23).

• Paul is thinking of three spiritual qualities that are to be fruitful in our lives that create a life full of light.

The first Fruit of the Light is All Goodness

It is a virtue that embraces kindness, agreeableness, and a readiness to help others without imposing conditions. An attitude of seeing the best in others and one who seeks friendship with those considered on the outside of society.

Goodness is the 6th “Fruit of the Spirit”. A personal quality that springs forth without hesitation from the heart. Believers are those “who love what is good” (Titus 1:8), and love doing good.

The Second Fruit of the Light is Righteousness,

Which is sourced from God the Father, called “the righteousness of God” (Rom 1:17; 3:21; 10:3). That is God’s personal “righteousness” that is “credited” (Rom 4:3,4,5,9,10,11,22,23) to the believer, giving us forgiveness of sins, meaning that God finds no fault in us. This is due to a righteousness that is not from us, but from the grace of God Himself imparted to us. 

In this setting, the fruit of the light as righteousness means doing what is right for other people, even though they don’t deserve it. Just like God has done for us. Righteousness is like God, who gives to others, within their ability, respect, justice when others have been misjudged, and acceptance of those who have been broken.

The Third Fruit of the Light is Truth

Paul is referring to what he said earlier: believers are to take off the “old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires” (4:22). When believers partner with unbelievers, telling the truth is not always their objective. Sometimes partners of darkness willingly “pursue dishonest gain” (Titus 1:7) if profit can be gained.

Jesus told us that “the Devil” is “the father of lies” (John 8:44). Those who tell lies for their advantage are unknown to them are siding with the Devil.

“Children of light” (5:8; John 12:26) will show “Integrity, seriousness, and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned” (Titus 2:7,8). Those living in darkness are often “full of meaningless talk and deception” (Titus 1:10).

How to Escape Strong Controlling Sexual Temptations and Lustful Thoughts

“Lust of the Flesh, lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—

Do not come from the Father, but from the world.

If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in them” (1 John 2:15-16).

Sexual temptations begin with lust, which easily becomes a lifetime habit, ultimately being regarded as excusable. Some even think it is necessary.

First of all. To break the vice of lust, one must know and accept what Scripture teaches about it. Use Scripture to train and guide your conscience, your heart, and your mind.

• “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral” (Heb 13:3). Only one marriage bed is pure. Only one marriage partner is to be honored and loved. Make no excuse in your mind for forbidden desires toward another who is not your spouse. Give no room; make no exceptions. Scripture teaches us that secret lust will be judged and found guilty. “This will take place on the day when God judges people’s secrets through Jesus Christ, as my gospel declares” (Rom 2:16). Confess any lust, of any kind, of any duration. Don’t let it remain unconfessed for one minute.

• “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman.” Job 31:1 

• “Do not lust in your heart for her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes.” Prov 6:25 

• “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Prov 4:23

• “Clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh.” Rom 13:14

Lust of the Flesh

• Lust leads away from home to the “neighbor’s wife” (Ex 20:17).

• Lust is greedy at its core. It is supported by dishonesty; it is secretive and never satisfied.

• Lust will lead to selfish pleasure that denies family love, neglecting their spouse and children.

• Lust creates darkness and soon turns the one who enjoys lust into perfect darkness. This occurs when lust feels right; this is perfect darkness. 

• Lust does not arise from love for God or love of family; they are opposites. One cannot love God, be “born of the Spirit” (John 3:6), enjoy the “peace of God” (Phil 4:7), or worship God in praise and thanksgiving, while they permit shameful lust to x-ray others. They allow jealousy over another man’s wife or another woman’s husband. Sadly, lust-filled individuals are seeking true love in the wrong places, resulting in darkness that moves into their lives, like a nest of spiders that spin their web throughout their thought patterns, making it very difficult to escape.

• Lust comes from the fallen nature, which is greedy, having “eyes full of adultery” (2 Pet 2:14).

• Lust includes sexual abuse, adultery, immorality, pornography, incest, or any attraction to something unnatural, such as adults to children. Or teachers toward their students. Pastors to their parishioners. Supervisors to their employees.

• Lust of the flesh is debasing. It is crude, painful, and humiliating to others. It is the opposite of “love, which comes from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith” (1 Tim 1:5). It is the opposite of love described in 1 Corinthians 13.

• *Lust often strikes out with violence when its desires are not fulfilled.

• Lust is often sexually abusive, and at its worst, murderous.

• Lust carries around a lot of guilt, the product of lust.

• Lust must pretend to love, pretend to care about others. Its purposes are self-interested and not in the other's best interests.

• Lust is very temporarily pleased with stolen objects, sometimes just in the mind. Lust can make one think they love at one moment and, the next, become murderous.

• Lust cannot distinguish between fleeting lustful desires and true love.

• Lust steals from others, most often unknown to them, in selfish, harmful ways.

• Lust does not heal, does not create peace, does not create trust.

• Lust is not truthful.

• Lust works in the dark of the soul.

• Lust will, unless confessed, separate us from the love of God.

• Forbidden lust will crowd out love for those we should love.

• Lust is a thief. A dark thief. A lying thief and often a perverted one. A secret thief, hidden in the hearts of those we trust.

• Lust is a serpent that bites both ways: the one that lusts and the one lust has deceived and violated.

• Lust is not good, not just, not faithful, or not peaceful.

• Lust is criminal and cruel at heart.

True Loyal Pure Love:

• True pure love is never stolen fruit.

• True pure love never takes for itself fruit that is immature or innocent.

• True pure love deeply cares and does everything it can to help and uplift the other.

• True pure love is unselfish; it bears the burdens with and on behalf of others. It is “humble and gentle…patient, bearing with one another” (Eph 4:2), in love.

• True pure love endeavors to “speak(ing) the truth in love” (Eph 4:15).

• True pure love supports the interests, the concerns, the needs, and the comforts of one another. They do this delightfully, even if it is to their disadvantage.

• True love is focused on what is best for each other, with honesty and careful attention to the needs of each other. 

• True love cares for each other, always wishing the best for the other. 

• True love acknowledges that all they own belongs to God and is at his disposal for the benefit of others. 

• Pure love cares from its heart, with a desire to be a blessing to others. 

• Pure love is received from a God of Love and thus gives blessings that come from God, through the one who has pure love, to the ones they love. 

• Pure love has a healing power to it that comes from the Great Healer and Physician, the Son of God and God Himself. It heals and soothes our hearts and souls.

Lust of the Flesh

• Anything outside of marriage, any voyeurism from media, will quickly become excusable and justified as natural. As a physical need that must be satisfied.

• Millions of men and women have lost fellowship with God and His gift of eternity in exchange for brief seconds of sexual pleasure.

• All power we need is available at the cross where we can be “strengthened with all power according to [God’s] glorious might [strength] so that you may have great endurance and patience” (Col 1:11). In the face of renewed temptations that defile the soul, we must be able to endure temptation, for “he who endures to the end will be saved” (Matt 10:22).

Victory Over Lust

John has not left the battle with demon lust to ourselves. He has told us first “confess our sin” in faith, knowing that God “will forgive us our sin (1 John 1:9). But more than this, the best part is the internal change that God will provide because he “forgives us our sins and [will] purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). Purification is a God-given Spirit accomplishment, power to say no to demon lust and yes to being “pure in heart” (Matt 5:8).

To those who cannot have peace and are harassed with unwanted lustful temptations. First, pray that God will give you peace of mind and drive away these incessant temptations.

Second, pray to discover if Satan has a foothold in your life—perhaps a justified move or something that is causing you to dwell on lust with pleasure. From the foothold, the Evil One can cause thoughts and ideas that are offensive to you to hound and harass you daily. Examine closely every habit and cut it off with prayer, with Scriptures, with faith that God, through His Spirit, will dampen and silence the stream of lust that has played in our heads.

Jesus says we are to be definitive in cutting off the very beginnings of lust. “If your right eye causes you to stumble [with lust], gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell” (Matt 5:29). To “gouge it out” is meant to urge one to move with expediency, to move yourself, bearing no expense, far away from the objects you have lusted for.

Let all be aware that sexual sins grieve the Spirit and will leave one wide open for a host of evil influences to move into the heart. Pray that God will send His Holy Spirit to transform you from the inside out. To subdue the flesh, to create a natural dislike of what was formerly loved. A love soul peace, where one can look at others with a pure heart. Thank God this is possible:  “With God all things are possible” (Matt 19:26).

 Ephesians 5:10 [As Pure Children of light 5:8] and find out [try to learn] what pleases the Lord. NIV

5:10 Finding out what is acceptable to the Lord. NKJV

5:10 Try to learn what is pleasing to the Lord. Evangelical Heritage Version

5:10 Therefore, test everything to see what’s pleasing to the Lord. Common English Bible

5:10 Try to learn [Discern; Test and prove] what pleases the Lord. Expanded Bible

5:10 Always trying to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. Mounce Reverse Interlinear New Testament

5:10 Make it your aim to learn what pleases our Lord. The Voice Bible

5:10 Learn in your own experiences what is fully pleasing to the Lord. 1912 Weymouth New Testament

Find Out, Try to Learn

In Greek, it means to test something. Pray about it. Go for a walk with God, somewhere alone, and tell Him all about it, with a desire to do His will. Prepare your heart to learn what pleases Him, what is right in His sight, with devotional “songs from the Spirit” (Eph 5:19).

When we don’t know what to do, which way to turn, or where to go, when we are confused and feel we don’t know what to do, we need God to show us the right way. He has promised He will: “This is what the Lord says— your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go” (Isa 48:17).

Keep the Lord’s Prayer in Mind Throughout Your Day (Matt 6:9-13)

“Our Father in heaven, hallowed [holy] be your name”

Lord, today may I give to you honor, glory, and praise to your name, not my name or honor. Like the angels pray before You: “Praise and glory and wisdom and thanks and honor and power and strength be to our God for ever and ever. Amen!” (Rev 7:12). Today I want to live my life under the authority of His Holy Name. “I will say of the Lord, 'He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust'” (Ps 91:1).

• “In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in His holy name” (Ps 33:21)

• “Praise the Lord, my soul; all my inmost being, praise His holy name” (Ps 103:1)

• “Glory in His holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice” (1 Chron 16:10)

“Your kingdom come”

 We look forward to the promised Second Coming with deep humility and having moved away from self-centeredness. Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it” (Luke 18:17).

Today I want to practice servant leadership: “Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me… Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world” (Matt 25:40, 34).

“Your will be done, on earth [in my life] as it is in heaven”

Just as God’s will and His plans are done in all of heaven, we pray that we will live today according to His will. Every morning, as we put our feet on the ground, we pray to God that we will do His will in our life today. We look for His guidance for each day, with a humbled, surrendered heart.

In the twin book to Ephesians, Paul teaches us, “Whatever you do, whether in word or deed,” throughout the day, “do it all in the name of our Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” (Col 3:17). We must permit God to direct us so that we may do His will in the work we are assigned, with much thanksgiving, for in this way we carry His presence with us all day long.

Believers must daily look to God's will for their lives, because they admit that their judgment and wisdom will often lead them astray. History has repeated this millions of times. Many have their understanding closed because they live in the “dominion of darkness” (Col 1:13). But now, as we seek God’s will, we are “children of the light and children of the day. We do not belong to the night or to the darkness” (1 Thess 5:5). We are God’s children moving in the direction of His will for our lives, day by day.

How to Know What Pleases Him

To know what pleases God, we need to be in Scripture, reading and praying for understanding frequently, not watching endless YouTube sermons or reading a book about God. Let God speak directly to you through the words of His Son, who is called the “Word of Life” (1 John 1:1).

“Since God is light and in Him there is no darkness at all” (1 John 1:3). Look into the pages of the gospel, and “the light of the world” (John 8:12) will shine into your heart in prayer when Scripture is opened.

Spend more time in the New Testament and the Psalms. For Jesus said, “The words I have spoken to you—they are full of the Spirit and life” (John 6:63). They are more than the words of a sermon. If a sermon at church uses very little Scripture, turn away from it.

Read what Paul has written in Ephesians, Romans, Philippians, and Colossians—and you will know beyond a doubt what the will of God is for you. Paul tells us: “For I have not hesitated to proclaim to you the whole will of God” (Acts 20:27). Then, “the God of love and peace will be with you” (2 Cor 13:11).

• “Though I sit in darkness,” not knowing what to do, “the Lord will be my light”…The Lord is my light and my salvation— whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid?  Micah 7:8; Ps 27:1.

• “So we make it our goal to please him…” 2 Cor 5:9

• “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Rom 12:2

• "We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives,  so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord  and please him in every way:  bearing fruit in every good work,  growing in the knowledge of God. Col 1:9,10

• "Now may the God of peace…equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen. Heb 13:20, 21

• "May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.  Ps 19:14

Ephesians 5:11 Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds [unfruitful] of darkness, but rather expose them. 5:12 It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. NIV

5:11 And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them. 

5:12 For it is shameful even to speak of those things which are done by them in secret. NKJV

5:11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness but rather expose them. 5:12 For the things they do in secret are shameful even to mention. NET Bible

The Text

The NIV says to have nothing to do with fruitless deeds of darkness. The NKJV says to have no fellowship with the works of darkness, as in being in league with their pagan ways. The NET Bible gives us a better understanding of the Greek word as not participating. Do not join in their activities or projects, or be closely identified with them, setting aside your faith in God. Why? Their actions do not bear good fruit; they are not good for themselves or for others, but rather, they are deeds of darkness and sin. Instead, we are “put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light” (Rom 13:12).

Darkness

This is the central issue of this passage. It includes all the dark issues Paul has just described.

“Sexual immorality,” “greed,” “obscenity,” “coarse joking,” and “impurity.” The very opposite of “goodness, righteousness, and truth,” or what is true and honest. (Eph 5:3-7). These actions invite darkness to live with us.

What is “greed”? It is building a larger, more expensive home than needed. It is owning more material things after we already have more than enough. Owning six cars instead of what is needed. It is the love of materialism that gives material possessions and wealth the highest value in life.

John describes darkness as any form of hatred. “But anyone who hates a brother or sister is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness. They do not know where they are going, because the darkness has blinded them” (1 John 2:11). Hatred will nearly always lead to perfect blindness when one feels justified in holding hatred of another believer. They have become spiritually blind. Then, no matter what position they may hold, as a Bishop or Ordained minister—they are blinded by the darkness. Thus, those who love darkness the “Blackest darkness is reserved for them” (2 Pet 2:17), where “everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment” (Matt 12:36).

Having Nothing to Do or Participate With Them

Instead, “walk in the light, as he is in the light” (1 John 1:7). Jesus said, “The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light” (Matt 6:22). As such, we must be very careful about what we look at, what we take into our bodies, minds, and hearts. “To those who are corrupted and do not believe, nothing is pure. In fact, both their minds and consciences are corrupted” (Titus 1:15).

• “Finally, brothers and sisters, keep your thoughts on whatever is right or deserves praise: things that are true, honorable, fair, pure, acceptable, or commendable.” (Phil 4:8 GOD’S WORD Translation)

Expose them

By our fruitfulness, as Jesus said, we are to “bear much fruit” (John 15:5), by abiding in Him. Our standards, our generosity, our family moral values, our true love, our honesty, our faithfulness, or our simple lifestyle. Most of all, our love for our God has directed our ways, which are an open invitation to others as to the values found in our “hope of eternal life” (Titus 3:7) and our “faith in the Lord Jesus and [our] your love for all God’s people” (Eph 1:15).

Believers have learned of the dangers of living by the fruitless deeds of darkness.  Now Paul wants them to live in a way that exposes this world's corruption. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said people are not to put their light “under a bowl.” They do not hide their faith and love from others as if they share everyone else's low standards.

“Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven” (Matt 5:15,16).

The way to expose the darkness of society is to put on the “armor of light” (Rom 13:12), made possible because we are following “the light of the world,” who says, “whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life” (John 8:12), Jesus, “the Savior of the world” (John 14:4)

Shameful Actions of the Sons of Disobedience

“Let nobody deceive you with empty words, for because of these things God’s wrath comes on the sons of disobedience” (Eph 5:6 & Col 3:5,6)

It is dangerous to spend any time examining darkness, watching those who practice darkness in movies or books. Darkness is contagious. These dark scenes don't just fade; they reappear as memories. But also, we are likely to relay evil to others, even as we condemn it; thus, the life cycle of darkness is spread.

Paul tells the Roman believers, “I want you to be wise about what is good, and innocent about what is evil” (Rom 16:19). And evil is darkness. This calls for discernment in the media offered to the world hourly.

Re-focus Off Darkness

When we focus on the “goodness of the word of God” (Heb 6:5), we will expose their shameful darkness without saying a word of condemnation or judgment against them. Thus we are to “let your light shine before people, so that they can see your good deeds and give honor to your Father in heaven” (Matt 5:16). Thus we “overcome evil with good” (Rom 12:21), revealing its darkness by light and putting it to shame by “his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves” (Eph 1:6).

The better way to avoid darkness from invading our souls is to shun the constant negative thinking so common in the world. “Instead, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things…put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you” (Phil 3:8-9).

• “Rejoice always, pray constantly, give thanks in everything; for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus. Do not quench the Spirit.” 1 Thess 5:16-19

• “Always give thanks to God for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” Eph 5:20

• “Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.” Colossians 3:17

• “Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly [abundantly] as you teach and admonish [encourage] one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit [spiritual songs], singing to God with gratitude [grace] in your hearts.” Colossians 3:16

 Ephesians 5:13 But everything exposed by the light [coming from Christ] becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light. 5:14 This is why it is said: “Wake up, sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.” NIV

5:13 But all things that are exposed are made manifest by the light, for whatever makes manifest is light. 5:14 Therefore He says: “Awake, you who sleep, Arise from the dead, And Christ will give you light.” NKJV

5:13 But the light makes clear how wrong those things are. 5:14 Everything that becomes clear to see is in the light. That is why it says: ‘Wake up, you people who are asleep! Rise up from among the dead people! Then Christ will shine his light on you.’ Easy-to-Read Version

5:13  Light exposes the true character of everything. GOD’S WORD Translation

Turn on the Lights

 When we are exposed to the “Word of Life” (1 John 1:1), because “God is light,” and “in Him there is NO Darkness at all” (1 John 1:5), something definitely happens. Something changes us?

The person exposed to “the truth of the gospel” (Gal 2:5,14) becomes enlightened, illuminated so that they also become a light. Their light comes from Christ Jesus shining on them. The “light of the world” (John 9:5) shines through them and lights them up with “the glory of God” (Phil 2:11).

One of the many prayers of Paul was “I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened so that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people” (Eph 1:18).

Wake up Sleeper

The Word of God is seed. It settles deep into the heart and conscience and moves individuals from darkness to light. They did nothing to make this happen except hear the Word. This means God has to wake up unbelievers who are living in the darkness of unbelief. It was the same method by which all of us believers came to faith. “Faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ” (Rom 10:17).

When we are asleep, we are in darkness, our eyes closed. We can’t see any light. Spiritually, Paul is appealing to some of his readers to move out of death and spiritual darkness by turning to Christ. To let “His light shine in our (their) hearts” (2 Cor 4:6).

Some will come to know their deeds are dark when exposed to honest truths, to goodness coming from the “kingdom of light” (Col 1:12). They are called to be the “children of light” (5:8). To let “The true light that gives light to everyone” (John 1:9) shine on them, and they will radiate the light of God’s “abundant goodness” (Ps 145:7) around them.

• “The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.” Num 6:24-27

• “Since, then, you have been raised with Christ,  set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.  Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.  When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.” Col 3:1-3

Ephesians 5:15 [Therefore] Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise [fools] but as wise, 5:16 making the most of every opportunity [taking advantage], because the days are evil. 5:17 Therefore do not be foolish but understand what the Lord’s will is. NIV

5:15 See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, 5:16 redeeming the time, because the days are evil. 5:17 Therefore do not be unwise [foolish] but understand what the will of the Lord is. NKJV

5:15 So you must be very careful how you live. Live like people who are wise. Do not live like fools. 5:16 Many bad things are happening in these days. So, whenever you have a chance to do something good, do as much as you can. 5:17 Do not live like fools. But instead, understand what the Lord wants you to do. EasyEnglish Bible

 5:15 So be very careful how you live. Do not live like people who aren’t wise. Live like people who are wise. 5:16 Make the most of every opportunity. The days are evil. 5:17 So don’t be foolish. Instead, understand what the Lord wants. New International Reader's Version

5:15 So be careful how you live; be mindful of your steps. Don’t run around like idiots as the rest of the world does. Instead, walk as the wise! 5:16 Make the most of every living and breathing moment because these are evil times. 5:17 So understand and be confident in God’s will, and don’t live thoughtlessly. The Voice Bible

Be Very Cautious, Consider Carefully How We Live Our Lives

How can we use our time in life “wisely”? How can we use the opportunities that God gives us, not acting foolishly, as if they don’t matter? As if we have many more days “to make the most of our opportunities.”

Paul urges us to value our free time and the opportunities that come to us in life. When an opportunity comes, it may come only once in a lifetime. Pray that God will direct you to make the most of every opportunity to do good and to love others. To answer the call of God, to do His will and live for His honor and name, instead of just for ourselves.

Paul urges us to value the opportunities God, in His providence, has opened for us. Perhaps they will engage our minds and hands; otherwise, we might drift into spiritual compromise. Otherwise, we might not have met our lifelong companion, who has brought us rich meaning, security, and purpose to life.

Paul urges us to be careful in accepting the counsel of individuals who have not been given “the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives” (Col. 1:9, NIV). They are likely to give foolish solutions that come from the darkness inside them.

Understand the Will of God for Us Personally—Is Redeeming our Time

The idea is that we must spend our time wisely, or it will drift toward wastefulness and become unproductive; this is the theme of this section.  We use time best when we understand the Lord's will for us personally. This comes from prayer throughout the day. Not knowing God's will for our lives will lead us to make mistakes in reason and judgment. Often, it leads to regrets and sorrows unintended

by God.

The Lord’s Prayer: “Your will be done, on earth [in my life] as it is in heaven”

Just as God’s will and His plans are done in all of heaven, we pray that we will live today according to His will. Every morning, as we put our feet on the ground, we pray to God that we will do His will in our life today. We look for His guidance for each day, with a humbled, surrendered heart.

In the twin book to Ephesians, Paul teaches us, “Whatever you do, whether in word or deed,” throughout the day, “do it all in the name of our Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” (Col 3:17). We must know what God's will is for each day, for God to direct us, so that we may do His will in the work we are assigned. Working with much thanksgiving, for in this way we carry His presence with us all day long.

Believers must daily look to God's will for their lives, because they admit that their judgment and wisdom will often lead them astray. History has repeated this millions of times. Many have their understanding closed because they live in the “dominion of darkness” (Col 1:13). But now, as we seek God’s will, we are “children of the light and children of the day. We do not belong to the night or to the darkness” (1 Thess 5:5). We are God’s children moving in the direction of His will for our lives, day by day.

The Best Way to Redeem the Time

It is good to remember the advice of King Solomon, who said, “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the realm of the dead, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom” (Ecc 9:10). Thus, since we will spend more time dead than alive, it is wise to spend our limited, very limited time living, doing the good will of God, with all our might. For life is short for all of us: “it is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgment” (Heb 9:27 NKJV).

Thus we would be wise to join Moses in his prayer: Lord, “Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom” (Ps 90:12). As the Common English Version reads, “Teach us to use wisely all the time we have.”

•  “Lord, what are human beings that you care for them, mere mortals that you think of them? They are like a breath, their days are like a fleeting shadow.” Ps 144:3,4

• “Man, who is born of woman, is of few days and full of trouble. He comes forth like a flower and fades away, He flees like a shadow and does not continue.” Job 14:1,2 NKJV

What a Privilege to Know the Will of God, for Time is Limited

To inquire of God what the Lord’s will is, at every turn, every opportunity, every circumstance, every challenge we meet in life. This implies carefulness in action or thought, as we continue the days of our lives walking with God.

Redeeming the Time Means

Not wasting away hours in mindless media and movie channels. We don’t know what tomorrow will bring. James says, “You do not even know what will happen tomorrow! What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes” (James 4:14). For us, tomorrow could be the last day of our lives. Thus, today, “As we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to the family of faith” (Gal 6:10).

• “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation” (Matt 26:41)

• “Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful” (Col 4:2)

• “Be serious and watchful in your prayers” (1 Pet 4:7 NKJV)

• “Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven” (Matt 6:10).

• “Pray without ceasing” (1 Thess 5:17 NKJV).

• “Be thankful” (Col 3:15).

Be Wise not Foolish.

To be foolish is to make poor choices because we did not take time to learn the will of God. We learn of God’s will from Scripture, counsel with other spiritual individuals, and, more importantly, prayer. But we must first do a self-inventory. Are there sins we should confess? Is there bitterness or hatred for those who have offended us? When we are honest before God, with Scripture studied enlightening our conscience, we are given discernment of the Will of God. “Come near to God, and he will come near to you” (James 4:8).

• “Search me, God, and know my heart;

test me and know my anxious thoughts.

• See if there is any offensive way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting.” (Ps 139:23,24)

Drugs and drunkenness are frequent causes of serious mistakes, human disasters, and loss of opportunities intended for us. Sexual immorality will darken our minds so that the will of God becomes unimportant. The number of youths who have lost their lives over careless speed, due to intoxication, or while high on drugs is too many to count. That is to say, they have no time to redeem themselves from their wasteful, foolish behavior.

 Paul says our time on earth will result not in good but in evil unless we redeem it. Unless we take hold of the opportunities that God provides during our lifetime to do good. To be productive, to help our neighbors, and to care for others who need our help.

• “Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.” Ps 34:14; 1 Pet 3:11

• “Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.” Gal 6:10

•  “And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.” Heb 13:6

•  “Turn from evil and do good, then you will dwell in the land forever.” Ps 37:27

• “Be on guard! Be alert! You do not know when that time will come.” Mark 13:33

Whoever Does the Will of God Lives Forever

“In the morning, Jesus saw Peter and Andrew casting their nets for fish. He said to them, come, follow me… At once they left their nets and followed Him” (Matt 4:19-20). Jesus saw “Matthew sitting at the tax collector’s booth. “Follow me,” he told him, and Matthew got up and followed Him” (Matt 9:9).

What if Peter, Andrew, or Matthew said to Jesus, "Not today; maybe later"? I am busy now. Nothing else they would do in their life would matter at all. The same is true for us, although we have not had the opportunity to live in Jesus' time. Yet what we do in harmony with the will of God is just as important. For “whoever does the will of God lives forever” (1 John 2:17).

Scriptures for Reflection

• “Therefore, everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.” Matt 7:24

• “The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice.” Prov 12:15

• “Fools show their annoyance at once, but the prudent overlook an insult.” Prov 12:16

• “Those who trust in themselves are fools.” Prov 28:26

• “Reject [deliberate action] every kind of evil.” 1 Thess 5:22

 Ephesians 5:18 Do not get drunk on wine [intoxicated], which leads to debauchery [recklessness, carelessness]. Instead, be filled [fully satisfied] with the Spirit. NIV

 5:18 And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation [profligacy]; but be filled with the Spirit. NKJV

5:18 Don’t be drunk with wine, which will ruin your life, but be filled with the Spirit. Easy-to-Read Version

5:18 And do not be drunk with wine (wherein is wastefulness). But be filled with the Spirit. Revised Geneva Translation

Do Not be Drunk With Wine but Filled With the Spirit

When drunk with wine, we are led to say and do things solely because we are under the influence of alcohol. When a person is full of wine, there is no room for the Spirit; the two are antagonistic and opposite. Wine will stay with us, and the Spirit will leave, and we will not know “what the Lord’s will is” (Eph 5:17).

• “Thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God” (1 Cor 6:10). Alcohol has unsavory companions. Alcohol and faith in God are not compatible.

• Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down with carousing, drunkenness and the anxieties of life, and that day will close on you suddenly like a trap” (Lk 21:34). Alcohol is a trap that offers release from stress and loss; however, it will condemn us to “the lake of fire, the second death” (Rev 20:14).

Just as wine strongly influences our judgment, reason, and behavior, so the Spirit strongly influences our judgment, giving us insight, direction, and the ability to respond to God-given opportunities. The Spirit does this not from the outside of us, but from the inside of us. As Jesus has taught us, the Helper will “dwell with you and will be in you” (John 14:17).

As alcohol influences our behavior, so the Spirit influences our behavior. We are to be filled with the Spirit, for “by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live” (Rom 8:13). Only through the Spirit is it possible to silence the calls to evil that arise from within our sinful, inclining nature. In the Spirit's presence, we are led and directed into God's will.

• “If Christ is in you, then even though your body is subject to death because of sin, the Spirit gives life because of righteousness.  And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you” (Rom 8:10-11).

However, if the wrong spirit lives in us—we lose everything. Even those who produce distilled alcohol entitle it “spirits.” They are Vodka, Gin, Whiskey, Rum, Tequila, and Brandy. These spirits will replace the Holy Spirit in us, giving us the spirit of vodka, which is an evil spirit.  

For the “mind governed by the flesh is death,” while under the influence of spirit alcohol, “but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace” (Rom 8:6). “Whoever sows to please their flesh,” they live to please lord alcohol, “from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life” (Gal 6:8).

• “Wine is a mocker and beer a brawler; whoever is led astray by them is not wise.” Prov 20:1

• “Who has woe? Who has sorrow? Who has strife? Who has complaints? Who has needless bruises? Who has bloodshot eyes? Those who linger over wine, who go to sample bowls of mixed wine. Do not gaze at wine when it is red, when it sparkles in the cup, when it goes down smoothly!” Prov 23:29-31

Be Filled With the Spirit

 When the father of John the Baptist was on duty in the temple, “an angel of the Lord appeared to him, standing at the right side of the altar of incense.” The Angel gave him special instruction, saying, “he will be great in the sight of the Lord. He is never to take wine or other fermented drink, and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit even before he is born” (Lk 1:15).

John’s mother was Spirit-filled, as seen when she met Mary while she was pregnant. “Mary got ready and hurried to a town in the hill country of Judea, where she entered Zechariah’s home and greeted Elizabeth. When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the baby leaped in her womb, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit. In a loud voice she exclaimed: ‘Blessed are you among women and blessed is the child you will bear! But why am I so favored, that the mother of my Lord should come to me?’ As soon as the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy. Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her!” (Lk 1:39-35).

Ephesians 5:19 […as you are filled with the Spirit 5:18] speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, 5:20 always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. NIV

5:19 speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, 5:20 giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, NKJV

A picture of Early Church Worship

Speak to One Another.

Paul is encouraging the habit of praising and singing, with thanksgiving for everything, during their worship time together. One person may have a Psalm they have memorized or learned to sing. Others may have hymns of praise. The point is that all were to participate in worship, individually and together.

 In Old Sanctuary Temple worship, the priests performed the service all alone. They prepared the sacrifice of the lamb brought as an offering. Now in gospel worship, all are to have a part, sharing and singing.

With Psalms and Hymns

The Greek word for hymns, hýmnos, was used in Roman and Greek idol worship. They would praise the pagan gods with songs of celebration, as well as their gods, heroes, and conquerors. In Paul’s use, it is a song to give honor, praise, and thanksgiving to the God of Heaven.

Paul is most likely referring to singing the Psalms, which could be easily hummed throughout the day. The music was meant to inspire thanksgiving and praise. Today, this is the best way to praise God: by listening to and repeating words of praise and adoration in a praise song.

Psalms Focused 

The Early church was Psalms-focused. They encouraged each other by quoting the Psalms in verses and songs. It is estimated that Jesus quoted from the Psalms over 50 times, and in the NT the Psalms are quoted about 116 times, more than any other Old Testament book.

We can imagine the first believers coming together sharing encouraging, heartwarming, and uplifting Psalms in their worship service. The Psalms and the gospel go together uniquely; they blend more easily than any other Old Testament book or the five books written by Moses.

Some of the best-known modern worship praise songs use phrases from the Psalms more than any other book in the Bible.

To the Colossian believers, Paul instructs them to repeat the Psalms in worship. He says, “let the peace of Christ rule your hearts” and “let the message of Christ dwell among you…as you teach…one another…through the Psalms…” (Col 3:15-16). Singing and reading the Psalms creates a rhythm of praise and trust in God, bringing vibrant color and opening us to uplifting, encouraging, life-changing thoughts. A worship service without praise Psalms is half empty. The old hymn “Onward Christian Soldiers” can never match the simple melody of a praise song.

Always Giving Thanks to God the Father

For our meals, home, employment, family, and everything that comes to your heart. The things that bless us- small, good things of the day- give us a reason to praise and give thanks. In the Psalms, praise and hope are mentioned over 200 times. Praise to God, coming from the Holy Spirit, accompanied by prayer, creates a positive worship atmosphere.

Songs from the Spirit

The Greek word for spiritual is pneumatikós, an adjective for pneúma, meaning Spirit; it describes the realm of the Spirit.

Thus, the passage could be translated as “Spirit Songs”. Songs inspired by the Holy Spirit, songs that move your heart to love and praise God. Songs that are deeply spiritual, awakening worship of God in our hearts. These songs will regenerate more love for God and more inner peace. Through music, we become more aware of the Spirit’s presence in our hearts and sing in appreciation.

Spiritual Music

We are encouraged to keep spiritual music playing throughout the day. It should be inspirational music that helps you feel the Spirit moving on the strings of your heart.  We should come to know the songs that awaken the spirit of praise and devotion to God and move your heart. Songs that awaken prayer, praise, and love for God. You will know which songs are touched by the Spirit or leave you empty.

This is Paul’s solution to “walking in the way of love” (Eph 5:2) and “overcoming evil with good” (Rom 12:21). Notice the role of the Spirit in urging us to sing Psalms and praises to God. Songs of praise that sing of the love of God are the life-giving sap that runs from the “Vine” to the “Branches” (John 15:1-6).

If we are inclined to sing crude secular songs with strong sexual overtones, to attend rock concerts that make no room for God. We should know these songs are sponsored by the “ruler of the kingdom of the air” (Eph 2:2) or “the dominion of darkness” (Col 1:13), which is a means for evil to spread a pall of spiritual darkness that blinds spiritual eyesight. Some secular songs invite darkness into our souls. For “what fellowship can light have with darkness?” (2 Cor 6:14).

This means that in some songs we invite darkness into the living rooms of our hearts; this darkness will, in time, seek to dominate. Since dark songs don’t mix with Spirit Songs, when we come to worship God, the spirit of praise and love will be dampened. Meaning we will sit in our seats with no “joy of the Lord” (Neh 8:10).

Paul told the Colossian believers to “let the message of Christ dwell among you richly… through psalms, hymns and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts” (Col 3:15,16). Thus, through Spirit-filled songs, the believer can carry Christ's peace with them throughout the day.

Wonderful is a worship service that offers warm, heart-embracing songs that inspire us to praise and open us up to worship because “God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth” (John 4:24). In truth deep inside us, not formal or untouched by the Spirit, with “Christ in you, the hope of glory” (Col 1:27).

• “Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth. Worship the Lord with gladness, come before him with joyful songs.” 

Ps 100:1,2 NIV

The Hebrew word for “shout” means “to cry out, to make a loud noise, to sound an alarm.” In Psalm 47 we are told to “clap your hands, all you nations; shout to God with cries of joy.” In 1 Chron 15:28, we see the Israelites worship God “with shouts, with the sounding of rams’ horns and trumpets, and of cymbals, and the playing of lyres and harps.”  We should never be ashamed of loud music with vocal praise in song accompanied with many different instruments—in worship of God. For God is not ashamed of it either when praise is the intended purpose.

An Important Introduction:

For Both Husbands & Wives

Eph 5:21-33

The underlying issues Paul teaches in this section on husbands and wives center on managing the home and the need for order. “For God is not a God of disorder but of peace” (1 Cor 14:33). When order is lacking, there will be “selfish ambition, and there you find disorder and every evil practice” (James 3:16).

From a believer’s perspective, Paul placed Christ as head in the home. The interesting aspect is that both husband and wife have the same head: Christ Jesus. In home management, God assigns the wife and husband an order, with their children in submission to their parents.

In Paul’s instructions on home and marriage, he broke with Roman and Greek culture, which did not allow women any responsibility in civil or military affairs. This contrasted sharply with the absolute power of the pater familias (head of the household), a Roman custom deeply embedded in their culture. It gave the husband nearly complete authority over his wife and other household members.

Paul raises the status of women to the highest point, reflecting our love for Christ. Husbands were to love their wives “just as Christ loved the church” (Eph 5:25). Women were not objects for abuse, any more than Christ abuses the members of the church. A husband’s treatment of his wife should be a valued personal relationship, centered on love that is openly, frequently, and freely given. Just as important, a believing man places the Lord as a priority in his life; so does a husband place his wife as a priority, above work and play, in his life. Without love, nothing else in a person’s life matters at all.

Paul’s view of a believer’s home is radically different from the socially accepted Roman way.

New Rules—New Covenant

Under the “New Covenant” (Lk 22:20), the roles of men and women were individualized. The prayers of both husband and wife are equally valued by God, for “God shows no partiality” (Acts 10:34).  For example:

1)     Jesus broke with the custom that men were not to talk to Samaritan women. When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said, “Will you give me a drink?” “His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.” (John 4:7-8).

Jesus gave this woman detailed knowledge about “true worship” that He did not give the disciples (John 4:23). Then He sent her as the first gospel teacher to her village.

Did Jesus place women in leadership positions? Yes, He did. Did Jesus place this woman under a man’s authority? No, He did not. She was under the authority of Christ Himself. Such is every married woman; her highest authority is Christ Jesus and her Father in Heaven.

2)     Jesus broke with custom by first revealing Himself, after the resurrection, to a woman, whose word was not highly valued. When Peter and John came and saw the empty tomb, Jesus remained hidden till Mary came to weep. Jesus delayed His trip to heaven to speak to Mary first. Then Jesus again broke social custom and commissioned Mary as the first gospel worker, to announce his resurrection to the disciples (See John 20). Jesus reversed the order of men first, who believe that women should always be under his authority. Just imagine the missionary work Mary did in relating the account of her encounter with the resurrected Jesus. Did she need Peter’s permission to teach the gospel? No, she did not. Did Jesus tell her to submit to male authority? No, she was not. Jesus gave her permission to go on mission.

3)     Jesus taught the grand principle that leadership is never to take the position of being first. No one can demand it. Jesus sat down, called the twelve, and said to them, “If anyone desires to be first, he shall be last of all and servant of all” (Mk 9:35). If the husband really thinks he deserves to be first, just because he is male, he is mistaken. The role of a husband as head in the home is to be that of a servant toward his wife and children. The New Covenant, in the blood of Christ that is applied to all, allows no kingship, but instead servant leadership. No president over everyone else. No voice that demands obedience, based on position. Authority is to be shared with love and consideration, because Christ died for all. That all have equal access to His grace, mercy, and love.

4)     Paul taught the principle that in Christ, man and woman are equal. “For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Gal 3: 27-28). Anyone who believes home leadership must be male should watch themselves carefully. They should be careful, for they might reject the very person God has chosen to take leadership—the wife who has a natural talent to lead in the care of children and the household affairs.  Whoever proposes that women should always be excluded from home leadership is self-centered. He needs to put himself last of all, as His Lord has commanded him.

• “Who can find a wife of noble character?  She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will not lack anything good…” Prov 31:10-31

Who was the Ephesian Letter written to?

All Spirit-filled believers in Christ

Paul is directing his instruction to married couples in the Ephesian church who “were once darkness, but NOW you are light in the Lord” (Eph 5:8). Paul affirms that to “each one” of them, male or female, “grace was given…as Christ apportioned it” (Eph 4:7).

Paul writes to devout, grace-filled believers, reminding them that they were once lost in the world. “Remember that at that time you were separate from Christ, excluded from citizenship in Israel and foreigners to the covenants of the promise, without hope and without God in the world.” This is not the case now, “for now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near by the blood of Christ” (Eph 2:13-14). Now as God’s “dearly loved children” they are privileged to “walk the way of love” (Eph 5:1,2) toward each other.

Self-centered individuals will always misapply Paul's instructions on marriage; they may know some doctrines but have not been “made…alive together with Christ” (Eph 2:5), as the married couples in the church at Ephesus were. They were to “always giving thanks to God for everything” for each other.

Paul’s counsel on marriage is deeply spiritual, designed for those who have “put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness” (Eph 4:24). They are to “put on love” (Col 3:14), not authoritarianism, but both strive to be a servant team leader toward each other, in their home and marriage.

The Results of Paul’s Instructions

Spirit-filled husbands and wives will allow for no division; their tendency is toward harmony.  How can there be discord or separation when “we both have access in one Spirit to the Father” (Eph 2:18)? The concept of “one Spirit” means the same Spirit in the husband is the same as in the wife.

 How can we have discord in marriage when we both “walk in the same footsteps by the same Spirit?” (2 Cor 12:18). Married couples who are “filled with the Spirit” (Eph 5:18) will recognize and respect God’s Spirit in each other, allowing the Spirit to lead each of them in their individual paths, both under the direction of the Holy Spirit.

Furthermore, neither the husband nor the wife can claim to know God’s will for the other, in all things. Both will “submit” (Eph 5:21-22) to the supremacy of the “Spirit of God” (Eph 4:30) or the “Spirit of Christ” (Rom 8:9), or “God’s Spirit” (1 Cor 3:16), which the Holy Spirit represents.

Both wife and husband will “in everything” give to God “the supremacy” (Col 1:18). It is “unwise” (Eph 5:15) for the husband or the wife to believe they have the supremacy.

God forbid anyone should have the audacity to make such a claim!! For it is “God who holds in His hand your life and all your ways” (Dan 5:23).

Jesus taught His Disciples Servant Leadership.

         Jesus taught this principle in multiple places. He made it necessary and mandatory for any leader, any husband who wants to be the family leader, to follow servant leadership.

• “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and those in high positions act as tyrants over them. It must not be like that among you. On the contrary, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant,  and whoever wants to be first among you must be your slave.” Matt 25:20:25-27

• “Jesus called them together and said, “You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Mark 10:42-45

·         “A dispute also arose among them as to which of them was considered to be greatest. 25 Jesus said to them, “The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them; and those who exercise authority over them call themselves Benefactors. 26 But you are not to be like that. Instead, the greatest among you should be like the youngest, and the one who rules like the one who serves. 27 For who is greater, the one who is at the table or the one who serves? Is it not the one who is at the table? But I am among you as one who serves.” Luke 22:24-27

• “So the last will be first, and the first will be last.” Matt 20:16

• “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength.” (Isa 30:15)
  
  
  

Servant Leadership: Between Husbands and Wives

“If anyone wants to be first [leader of the family], he [she] must be last of all and servant of all.” Mark 9:35

Matthew 18:1-5; 20:24-28; Mark 10:41-45; Luke 22:24-30; 1 Peter 5:2-6

• Transparency and Agreement: Between Each Other.

• Teamwork: Shared Goals, Shared Responsibilities with Combined Efforts from the heart.

• Caring for Others’ feelings and life goals, like a Good Shepherd.

• Always Seeking Each Other's Best Interest.

• Both Holding a “Pure Heart, a Good Conscience, with Sincere Faith” in the Lord Jesus Christ" (1 Tim 1:5).

To Both Husband and Wife

Ephesians 5:21 Submit to one another [mutual yielding] out of reverence [respect] for Christ. NIV

5:21 Submitting to one another [each other] in the fear of God. NKJV

5:21 Serve one another to show that you respect Christ as your master.  EasyEnglish Bible

5:21 Place yourselves under each other’s authority out of respect for Christ. GOD’S WORD Translation

5:21 Give way to each other because you respect Christ. Worldwide English (New Testament)

5:21 Yielding obedience to one another in the fear of God. Smith’s Literal Translation

Submitting to Each Other

Paul begins his counsel on family and marriage with the idea that comes directly from the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve were co-equal, bone from his rib, side by side, chest to chest, arm in each other's arms. This was the basis of Eve’s freedom to dialogue at the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. She was not required to ask Adam’s permission or advice. She was united with Adam as an equal, but he was not her superior or her manager.

Eden’s Ideal in Christian Marriage.

Submitting to each other is accomplished through humility. Sin has made males more dominant over women in history. Christian marriage means joining hands and hearts in care for each other's individual ideals.

No husband or wife can claim to be a little higher, a little better, a little wiser than the other, creating a pyramid of authority.

Often the wife will be better at finance than the man. A good man and woman will see the Lord leading them in their various skills. Each will seek to make the other better and to promote the other for their betterment. Neither will claim authority over the other, yet they yield to each other. Sometimes the wife yields to the husband, and other times the husband yields to his wife's better judgment. The husband submits to his wife, who cares for the home and other tasks she is assigned. The wife submits to her husband's judgment in the physical or mental labor he is assigned.   

Both husband and wife submit to each other out of respect for Christ. The NKJV declares, “in the fear of God,” meaning they will keep God's will at the forefront of their minds. A good husband will want his wife to communicate so she can find the will of God, her Father, for herself. The wife will want her husband committed in prayer to know God's will for their family. When in conflict, they are privileged to turn to prayer for God has promised: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight” (Prov 3:5-6).

Husbands & Wives Follow God’s Example—Walk in the Way of Love

Paul begins the fourth chapter by reminding us to “live a life worthy” of our calling, being “humble and gentle and patient, bearing with one another in love” (Eph 4:2).

At the opening of the fifth chapter, Paul asks the Ephesians to “Follow God’s example” as “dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us” (Eph 5:1,2). Paul wants believers to “build each other up in love” (Eph 4:16), in “accordance with the truth that is in Jesus” (Eph 4:21). All this instruction is fundamental to a Christian marriage; it guides us in building a Christian home free from male or female domination. It places “the way of love” in the center of their home.

Husband & Wife are Co-Dependent on Each Other

“In the Lord woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. For as woman came from man [rib from Eden], so also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God” (1 Cor 11:11,12). Women and men are co-dependent on each other; neither can claim to be the most dominant in the creation order. Men need women to live, or no man would ever be born. Women need men, or no woman would ever be born. They are co-dependent; separately, they could not survive themselves. Co-dependence is natural law for marriage, as God has designed it.

To Both Husbands and Wives

Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit [supplied word] yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head, his body [church], of which he is the Savior. 5:24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. NIV

5:22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 5:23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 5:24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. NKJV

5:22 Wives, to their own husbands as to the Lord. 5:23 For the husband is head of the wife as also Christ is the head of the church, He Himself Savior of the body. 5:24 But even as the church is subjected to Christ, so also wives to their own husbands in everything.

Berean Literal Bible

Wives Submit Yourselves

The Greek verb "submit" in verse 22 is missing, as reflected in the Berean Literal Bible. The verb from the preceding verse, submit to one another, in partnership, with hands and hearts together, should be understood as the foundation of Paul’s instructions to wives.

• “All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” 1 Pet 5:5

• "Therefore, as God’s chosen people [husband & wife], holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” Col 3:12

• “ Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” Rom 12:10

Wives Submit to Your Own Husband

The wife is to follow the lead of her own husband; this implies the woman is not to submit to any other man in her life willingly. She is to maintain her independence in the workforce, in church, and in society.  She is not required to submit to her father, brother, uncles, church pastors, or teachers as she would to her own husband.

Primary Purpose of Paul’s Instructions

The primary purpose is to bring order to the marriage, home, and family, and to spread it into society. Submission is the basis for order, as no government, military, or business can operate without a chain of command.

Submission to Order is the Norm in Heaven

In heaven, order is supported by willing and loving submission. The Holy Spirit is subject to the will of God; Jesus said He “goes out from the Father—he will testify about me” (John 15:26).

Even angels have order; the “archangel” (1 Thess 4:16) is an angel of the highest rank, for order among the other angels. Overall, the other millions of angels hear " the voice of the archangel " first, over all the earth, at the return of Christ. The other angels respect this order.

Jesus carries the heavenly title of “firstborn over all creation” (Col 1:15), meaning He existed before all other created things. Before any “power or rulers or authorities” (Col 1:16). As such, He is the chief leader, and all other “authorities,” “visible and invisible” (Col 1:16), are under His command. Nothing is independent of Him.

Heaven has an orderly authority that Jesus respected. Jesus told His disciples, “Don’t you realize that I could ask my Father for thousands of angels to protect us, and he would send them instantly?” (Matt 26:53 NLT). Jesus submitted to His Father, whom He called “my Father” at least 46 times in the NT.

Jesus set up an orderly arrangement with His disciples, whom He ordained as apostles (See Luke 6). The Early Church “devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching” (Acts 2:42), just as we do today. The authority of the Apostles is so supreme that Paul could say, “If anybody is preaching to you a gospel other than what you accepted, let them be under God’s curse!” (Gal 1:9).

So, the Christian home has order, but order is not domination. It is cooperation. It is systematic order, for security and peace: “For God is not a God of disorder but of peace” (1 Cor 14:33). The wife submits to her husband, based on order, in and through love, not domination. Even God the Father, who is “Father of all, who is over all and through all” (Eph 4:6), chooses to exercise his authority “in love” (Eph 1:4) because “God is love” (1 John 4:8,16).

Biblical Submission is Love-Based.

Jesus was in submission to the will of His Father. At the close of His life, He said, “I have brought you glory on earth by finishing the work you gave me to do” (John 17:4). To Jesus, His submission to His Father was not forced. Jesus said, “If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love” (John 15:10). Order is love-based, not forced into submission. Such was the example between the Father and the Son.

Different Gifts, Skills, Talents in the Home

In the Christian home, the wife is most often gifted the art of order. From the table settings and the pictures on the wall to the clothes sorted and folded in the dresser, with the smaller placed on top of the larger. 

The children most often are under her care and management. She gives them chores, according to their abilities and ages. The younger children are to follow the older children's directions. Peter taught that we should “Show proper respect to everyone” (1 Pet 2:17).

Disorder in the home and in God’s universe is rebellion and is destructive. For harmony and peace, she submits to her husband, and he to her. In disorder, there is lying, darkness, hate, pride, or any other hurtful evil thing. Order makes the home sweet and comfortable, soon becoming the most cherished place on earth.

Order requires accountability to each other, between husband and wife and their children. All are accountable to either the Mother or the Father, in their roles appoitned by God and their natural talents. Order brings peace, where love flourishes.

Wives Submit In Everything—So There is No Lying

 Paul says that a wife should submit to her husbands in everything. This means the wife should not lead a double life. This would include lying, pretending to love, but instead deceiving and ultimately hurting her family and children.

There should be a high level of transparency between husband and wife. If the husband is devious, it is nearly impossible for his wife to be transparent in her role as guardian of her children and home.  

Submission from the Basis of Respect

The wife is submissive to her husband out of “respect” (Eph 5:33), in the position God has assigned him, to maintain order in the home and family. The husband will submit to his wife’s wishes, considering her role in keeping order at home with the children and the home’s many endless tasks. The children willingly respect their father's will in the tasks he assigns them, in harmony with their mother’s expectations. For “everything should be done in a fitting and orderly way” (1 Cor 14:40).

Husbands Must Answer To God

It is God’s will that there be order in the home, with the husband taking the lead. Yet this should be understood as a far different kind of leadership than what secular society practices. It is servant leadership: always building up, restoring, helping, and supporting with his heart and hands.  It is the authority of humble, caring love, before God, to whom he is to answer.

• “He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart. He gently leads those that have young.” Isa 40:11

• “Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, watching over them—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not pursuing dishonest gain, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away.” 1 Peter 5:2-6

Good Husbands Lead by Earned Trust

A good husband will lead the wife he loves to trust him. Trust is the foundation for good leadership. His wife will feel safe with her husband.  Although Isaiah is writing about the Lord, it also applies to the sense of security she feels with her husband. “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you” (Isa 56:3). She trusts his words, his promises, and the strength he exerts to care for his family.

When the wife cannot trust her husband's promises, he has failed and forfeited his appointed leadership role. When the husband does not yield to his head, Christ, and His apostles, he cannot be trusted. Since we don’t live in a perfect world, as in heaven’s order, the wife will have to choose to be in submission to Christ as her first head, over that of her husband when he has become reckless, careless, inattentive, and un-submissive to Christ, his head.

Men Have Leadership—Under Appointment

Men should understand that their leadership role is an appointment from God; it is not their right. It is not inherent in him, his character, his family heritage, or his wealth.

It is a serious breach of the will of God when men dominate women or their wives. In doing so, they violate the order of creation. In Eden, God did not place Eve under Adam's leadership. Instead, Adam and Eve were mutually dependent on each other, with God at the center. 

Now, in a Post-Eden world, God designed and appointed that man, with his unique skills, talents, and physical strength, should take the leadership in the home. Through his leadership, he will provide and care for his family with his natural and acquired talents. This is the purpose of his leadership.

Leadership From Humility

However, a husband must follow the leadership style Jesus taught, which is radically different from what kings and presidents have practiced.

Jesus said, “Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all” (Mark 9:35). In other words, the male leader works from a servant’s heart, toward his wife and family. He does not act as a king on his throne, making demands on his wife and family according to his whims. But instead, makes his wife and children first in his care, love, and support. He leads from a position of humility, not as a king on his throne, making demands, as if his wife were his slave.

• “For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted… For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”  Matt 23:12; Luke 14:12

Christ, Savior of the Church Family—Man Savior of his Family

 Christ as head overall is the Savior of the church, which is part of his body, and He saves those who come to Him, saying “Come, for all things are now ready” (Lk 14:17). The headship of Christ over the church has a dual role. First, to save and redeem those who put their trust in Him. Second, it is to “love the church” (Eph 5:25), defective as it most often is.

The husband is to be the savior of his family, with a small “s.” In his savior role, he is not to dominate or control, but to lead in a protective, always-giving manner. He is willing to give his best for his family's benefit. This is displayed in his work, his support of his wife, and his love for his family, following the example of Christ. He is the trailblazer and pathfinder for his wife and children, whom he loves with all his heart, with the love that God has given to him.

Psalms 23 For the Husband

• The husband will provide support for his family so they will “not want”

• He is to lead his family so they can “lie down in green pastures”

• He is to use his skills and strength to lead his family “beside the still waters” without anger.

• He is to “restore” confidence when fear and trouble come to his family and wife.

• He is to set a “table” before his family of good things.

• “He leads” his family “in the paths of righteousness” beside himself.

• He does all this because he follows Christ, his Lord, his head, his leader.

The Husband is Co-Head With Christ

 As the co-head with Christ, Christ is not only his role model but also his Savior. It is a great privilege for a husband to be in submissive union with Christ. For Christ is there to protect and provide the means for the husband to be the savior of his family. Should the husband choose to be oppressive, selfishly demanding his way with no consideration of his wife’s wishes—he stands to lose the support of Christ, upon whom he should be dependent. He could hear, “Ephraim is joined to idols; leave him alone!” (Hosea 4:17).

Many husbands have made a shipwreck of their marriage by willful domination, claiming to have rights that were never given to them.

Christ is the Head; Thankfully We are Under His Care

Yes, “In Christ you have been brought to fullness; He is the head over every power and authority” (Col 2:10). The Greek feminine noun for head is also translated as cornerstone, as the stone, as corner of a stone wall, which unites and holds, and knits together the two walls at their corner.  

In “The Parable of the Tenants” in Matthew 21, Jesus described Himself, saying, “Have you never read in the Scriptures: ‘The stone the builders rejected has become the cornerstone [head]. The Lord has done this, and it is marvelous in our eyes”? (Matt 21:42). In this reference, Jesus predicted that the Gentiles whom the Jews rejected are now equal to the promises given to them through Abraham. Now they are accepted in Christ, the new head of both Jews and non-Jews, who has become by the will of God the Father the cornerstone that holds the two—Jews and Gentiles- together as one.

Thus the Christian home, both husbands and wives, together, unitedly know that all things in their lives are under the control and direction of Christ and God their Father. Thankfully, we are safe in His hands, to whom both husbands and wives look for their “living water” (John 7:38), where Jesus has promised them, “the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life” (John 4:14).

Husband is the Head, Under Christ’s Authority, In Love

In following the example of Christ, as the head of his family, he is to hold them all together under the authority of Christ.  In the same manner that Christ demonstrated, “who gave himself for our sins to rescue us from the present evil age” (Gal 1:4). The husband will give of himself, symbolically in his attitudes, to be a good example to save his family from harm, to care for them, and to do them good. This is the purpose of his headship.

The husband is to protect his wife and children. This is an awesome care the husband carries. Jesus protected His disciples. When He was about to be arrested, He said to the soldiers looking for Him, “I told you that I am he. If you are looking for me, then let these men go.” This happened so that the words He had spoken would be fulfilled: “I have not lost one of those you gave me” (John 18:8,9).

The Role of Being the Head of His Family Requires Humility.

“Whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven” (Matt 18:4). Authority is displayed and functions best with humility. Authority does not dominate by force of arms and strength. If it did, it would be a bully, dictator, and jailer.

The Father God recognized and honored His Son in His servant role, saying, “Here is my servant whom I have chosen, the one I love, in whom I delight; I will put my Spirit on him, and he will proclaim justice to the nations” (Matt 12:18). If Jesus came in a servant role, should not the husband model the same role toward his family and wife? In doing so, he will hear his Father in Heaven say to him, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

If the husband should force the wife to submit to him, this action is contrary to the way God in Christ has treated us. The wife’s submission is conditional, enough to preserve her life and that of her children. To such a husband, the wife submits in her heart and soul to a higher man—God her Father, who is the “head over all” (1 Chron 29:11) and who is “Father of all, who is over all and through all and in you all” (Eph 4:6).

God in Christ does not hit us with his hands, knocking us to the ground, demanding our obedience, saying, “Do it my way or else.” Such a man “is dead in (his) transgressions and sins” (Eph 2:1). Who is “alienated from God… enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior” (Col 1:21).

Wives Voluntarily Submit to Their Husband—For His Good

Paul asks the wife to submit to her husband voluntarily, for his good. She looks to him to accomplish the home tasks he is best suited for. It is good for a man to bear burdens and to care, when it takes toil and hard work.  A man without binding responsibility becomes vulnerable and lazy.

Samson, a single man, fell into wastefulness, selfishness, and poor judgment. God knew that man does not function well alone, for he tends to become very self-centered. God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him” (Gen 2:18).

 God made the male in our race with an internal need to hold all things together, to construct and build something through his physical efforts. God gave the woman to man to provide helpful support, so he could build up and hold together his wife and children, home, career, and a thousand other things. Many of the things that a busy mother does for her home and children, a man is not best suited to do.

A Woman Submits in Marriage—For Her Good

A woman makes this commitment in love and as God assigns it to her, or because she has an internal, urgent need to have a family and to be loved and cherished by her children and her husband. To deny this God-assigned order leaves her at the mercy of ungoverned men or other women in our fallen world. Often to her disgrace.

 Under the care of a loving, strong husband, a woman has the best protection. As her children grow into adulthood, the favor of her daughters and sons adds to her life satisfaction and sense of security.

For a woman to leave her husband and/or children for reasons of change or for interest in another man. She places herself in a very vulnerable position. She has rejected God's call to her to submit to her husband, as to the Lord—meaning, as the Lord has commanded her to do.

 “Therefore, what God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matt 19:6). “For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband” (Rom 7:2).

Jesus clearly tells women that if they divorce their husband without a reason of continued adultery, and then remarry, they become adulterous themselves. “But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery” (Matt 5:32).

Jesus does not make divorce easy. He does not wish the wife and mother to leave her charge, given to her by God Himself unless she separates for a short while to give her time to pray.

“For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it” (Matt 7:13,14). For a woman, the narrow way is with her husband and children, first and foremost. Always and forever. Till death do us part.

Submission in a Fallen World

The wife is not to submit to her husband if he acts like he is lord over her, removing her individuality, her personal choice, and her freedom to come and go in her care of the children. For only “Jesus Christ…is Lord of all” (Acts 10:36). The submission of the wife to the husband, in our fallen world, she may often need to appeal to her Head, Christ Jesus, on behalf of her husband’s faults and flaws. Asking for the intervention of her Head of all and asking for her Husband to become a better man, a man of God.  To run away, unless it is a threat to her life and that of her children, is a failure to trust in God’s care for her.

To the Husband to Whom the Wife is Submitted

How should a husband respond to his wife who is looking to him for strength, protection, support, and “love” (Eph 5:25)?

When Paul wished to settle some difficult issues in the Corinthian church, he did not use the authority that was his as an Apostle of the Lord; he would not use “harsh” authority; instead, “use of authority—the authority the Lord gave me for building you up, not for tearing you down” (2 Cor 13:10). There is a considerable witness in Scripture regarding the use of authority for the purpose of building others up.

The words of a husband can crush the joy of life from his wife, whom God charges him to love and care for. If a husband uses his actions to threaten or act violently, he will have to answer to God, who has authority over him. The wife should pray to her Father in Heaven, saying, “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you” (Isa 56:3), not her abusive husband.

To men, to husbands, take note of how your God-appointed authority is to be exercised. Be warned, your authority is only temporary. Any abuse toward your wife or family places you in danger before God. 

• “So even if I boast somewhat freely about the authority the Lord gave us for building you up rather than tearing you down, I will not be ashamed of it.” (2 Cor 10:8)

• “From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work” (Eph 4:16).

• “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what helps build others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Eph 4:29).

• “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing” (1Thess 5:11).

• *“Each of us should please our neighbors for their good, to build them up” (Rom 15:2).

• “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ” (Gal 6:2)

• “We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please our neighbors for their good, to build them up” (Rom 15:1,2).

• “And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone. Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else” (1 Thess 5:14,15).

To Husbands

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your [a possessive pronoun] wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. 5:26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word [of God], 5:27 and to present her [the church] to himself [Christ] as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 5:28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. NIV

5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 5:26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 5:27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 5:28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. NKJV

This is a very specific thing that Paul says is primary in the husband’s leadership role. He is to LOVE his WIFE. This may seem natural to a young man, and it is God’s design. Love, in its various expressions, is to be the binding cord that will always hold the family and their marriage together.

A husband is better able to show compassion, kindness, and empathy for his wife if he has come to know, to have tasted for himself, the love of God. If a believing husband is selfish, having little understanding for his wife or their little ones, rest assured that he does not know God: “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love” (1 John 4:8).

Radiant Church Means Happy Wife

A new bride, walking up the aisle, is considered radiant. By his conduct, the husband sees his wife as radiant and happy to be his wife. He sees his daughters as radiant, balanced, trained, and loved. He is like a good, loving pastor who cares for his flock—His family. He points his children and his wife to the Savior.

The husband does not want his wife, home, or family to be run down and neglected, but rather to be without blemish. Providing all their needs for his family is his delight.

Washing with Water

This is a reference to Jesus who said, “unless they are born of water and the Spirit…no one can enter the kingdom of God” (John 3:5). In the symbol of water baptism, we are buried and risen with Christ to “live a new life” (Rom 6:4), a new creation.  The husband’s role is evangelistic in his love for his wife and family. Above all, he receives the warm, tender, and attentive love from his wife, which fills the inner need of man, without which he is incomplete. The Husband will keep spiritual interest prominently placed among his responsibilities toward his wife and family. He will encourage them to go to church, participate in youth programs, make good friends, and pray for them. Above all things, a husband needs to pray for his wife and family. Above all of the above, the husband should know for himself what it means to be “born of God” (1 John 5:1) and “born of the Spirit” (John 3:6)

Fruits of the Spirit—a Model for Love

From the Holy Spirit comes “sincere love” (2 Cor 6:6) and the fruits of the Spirit.

• “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness,  faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” Gal 5:22,23 NAS

The fruits of the Spirit will not be in short supply when a man loves his wife and loves God at the same time. Under this condition, their married life will be charming and attractive to both husband and wife, all their lives. What a joy there will be when both husband and wife still love God, love their children, and love each other as they age together. They will live together, love together, share, work together, each favoring the other, raise family together, eat meals together, go to church together, build a home together, build a garden together, take vacations together, take care of each other in sickness and health —Till Death Do Us Part.

Violence Brings Death

Suppose there is any violence on the part of the husband or wife. it will corrupt their married love. Sometimes not even time heals the wounds of love when one partner in marriage has been subject to mean-spirited violence.

 For in the time of Noah, “the earth was corrupt in God's sight, and the earth was filled with violence” (Gen 6:11). Their violence shortened their time on earth, and the floodwaters rose; all their love of violence was replaced with fear of death. All they had, all they owned, all their dreams, all their friends, all they worked for, all their hopes—were gone in one day. Such is the impact of violence in the home. Love, as it was before, is damaged by violence.

Both Husbands and Wives

Ephesians 5:29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 5:30 for we [husbands & wives] are members of his [Christ] body. 5:31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”  (Gen 2:24) NIV

5:29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 5:30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 5:31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh [oneness].” NKJV

Members of Christ’s Body

As members of Christ, we are recipients of special blessings that come only from the Son of God, not available to unbelievers because we are members of Christ’s body.

It makes us wonder: when we are taken to our “Father's house” (John 14:2), where will “we will be with the Lord forever” (1 Thess 4:17)? The one-flesh experience we had on earth will impact far into eternity. Our oneness is not disabled, since it was built on Christ.

One Flesh, Two Bodies Unitedly Care For the Other

One flesh carries the idea of growth over the years, like two plants that have become intertwined. Over time, it becomes hard to tell them apart. They come to see each other as indispensable. When one is undernourished, the other suffers as well.

Both spouses are to regard each other as believers “in Christ,” both attached to the “true vine” (John 15:1). They become part of God’s body on earth. Each will want to give the other the best care, the best love, and attention to the other's needs. As they care for each other’s lives, each other’s hopes, each other’s dreams, each other’s prayers, each other’s health, and each other’s mental and spiritual health—the two become one flesh.

One Flesh Will Make it Unnecessary for the Wife to Submit to Her Husband.

One flesh means they share the benefits, blessings, and challenges—not separately but together. What affects one of them with joy or sorrow moves the other.  The prosperity of one never creates jealousy of the other. Physical or emotional pain in one moves the other to compassion. When they are one flesh, the submission of the wife to her husband becomes moot.

The roles of submission may be reversed, shared, or suspended, because the two have become one. Under this, neither will demand, or even wish, authority over the other. They know how the other thinks on almost every subject; they move in concert. They think and act like the other; even if they don’t agree with a decision one makes, they try to see it from the other’s perspective.

One would not hurt the other by forcing his or her will on the other unless imminent danger is present. Both use their strength to aid the other. When one makes a mistake in a word or deed, confession is immediate. They pray together and submit themselves to God together, and they also pray separately. If they were asked who takes the lead in their marriage, they would both say at the same time—pointing and naming the other. The idea of what some call male headship is so far from their minds that it would appear as if one has become a bully over the other. They would both reject it as unnecessary and oppressive.

Roles Merge as Married Couples Age

As they age, even the roles they started in their marriage are reversed. The wife may have to care for her husband. The husband may have to take care of household chores because of his wife’s poor health. Roles mean next to nothing to them. For both of them, in love, with love, by love, through love, without hate or ill-will existing for even one second. It is love that has no end in sight, as they love each other and can’t dream or think it being any different than being loved, wholeheartedly, by the other.

United, Not Two

In their lives, they are together, not separate. Now they work in harmony, forgiving and committed to each other, with no selfishness at the expense of the other. Neither would make an important decision contrary to the other's wishes. They are One Flesh, all together with God in the center. Not either the male or the female. But different, male and female in Christ by Faith.

 Ephesians 5:33 However, each one of you [both husbands] also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. NIV

5:33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love [should love] his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respect her husband. NKJV

What woman would not respect a man who truly loves her and shows it every day? That man has earned his wives love and she returns love to him in respect for who her husband has become to her.

Paul leaves nothing unsaid in his marriage counsel. Some men will automatically assume that a wife’s duty is to submit to him, without considering that his first responsibility is to truly love her. When love is present, good men cannot and will not seek to control their wives with any force or controlling behavior. Force is an element of darkness, for “where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom” (2 Cor 3:17).

• "You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.” Gal 5:13

Paul tells each of the Ephesian men, you must love your wives, in the same measure as you care for yourself. In practical terms, a man will not demand of his wife what he would not do for himself, when it is inconvenient or difficult for her. Love is not abstract, but seen through the feelings and emotions of the heart.

Why would Paul have to tell men they must love their wives? Paul is not talking about after the wedding and early years of marriage. He encourages men not to forget that they married for love.

• We are to “continue in faith, (and) love” (1 Tim 2:15)

• We are to “follow the way of love” (1 Cor 14:1). For if I “have not love, I am nothing” (1 Cor 13:2 NKJV).

• Now throughout all the seasons of life, “these three remain: faith, hope, and love; but the greatest of these is love” (1 Cor 13:13). The expression of love is the ground on which faith and hope in God’s promises become mature.

The Wife Should Encourage Her Husband

The wife must encourage and support her husband in her love for him, as he may fumble and make mistakes in their married life. She respects him despite difficulties; she makes allowance for his needs without him even knowing it. Since reverence is often associated with the worship of God, she prays for him in sickness and in health.

When he overreaches his authority by demanding harder work of his wife than is warranted for her health. She prays to her higher authority—"Our Father which art in heaven”--for help. To “receive mercy and find grace to help us [her] in our [her] time of need” (Heb 4:16). Then she appeals to him, in her warm loving embrace, encouraging him to make better choices, in love.

God calls the Wife to Love and Respect Her Husband

A wife is called to love and respect her husband. Divorce should be the very last resort, for love received from God should look to prevail against all odds. If a wife seeks the fast or easy way out of home trials, she will have to answer to God. "To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife" (1 Cor 7:10,11).

Wife Should Respect her Husband’s Family

We know of a story where a man whose wife of many years died and a few years later married a younger woman.  After her marriage, she arranged to inherit her husband’s farmhouse and his large acreage. A few years later, he died. Although she had a legal right to the property, it was disrespectful to his sons and daughters, who were the rightful heirs. She showed no respect for her husband’s family. She sold everything and moved out of state. 

 We know of another man whose first wife died, and later in life he met another woman at church, and they married. They were very compatible and kind to each other. He lived in her home, and when she died, he did not keep anything but made sure that her family received their inheritance, when he could have sought to benefit himself first.

To Both Husbands and Wives

This Is The Center Point:

From Which the Whole Account is Supported and Understood

Ephesians 5:32 This is a profound mystery—

but I am talking about Christ and the church. NIV

A Profound Mystery

A mystery so large, so great, in size, in age, in importance, in the widest possible sense. This mystery is so great it is impossible to solve. It has no solution in human terms.

It pictures the love of God the Father, and for His Son, that gave something very precious to Him--for us. Out of love for us, unworthy, spiritually stunted, and wrapped in layers of deception, ignorance, and rebellion.

 Our Father God has demonstrated a persistent love, send in mercy undeserved, sent in compassion that knows no end, sent in hope that changes will be accepted in those He loves. Often disappointed, often rejected, and often cursed by those He is trying, His Divine Best, to change the direction of their lives. He is always delaying punishment that is well deserved. He is planning their future, even when they are unwilling even to acknowledge Him. Preparing for them to have eternal life, even when they wish to live their ways that are so short sighted. 

This is a profound mystery—a love of this kind, over the years, all over the earth, equally to men and women and children. Yes, as much as it is unreported, it is a mysterious reality.

Profound Mystery Explained:

This is the “mystery of Christ,” not “made known” to any other generation in its fullness, but “now has been revealed by the Spirit” (Eph 3:5). What is this mystery?

First Of All

It is that God has “lavished on us, with all wisdom and understanding” to now “make known to us the mystery of his will,” which was revealed by “His good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ… to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ” (Eph 1:8-10). The Gospel account of the birth and life of Jesus is unparalleled to any human living or dead. No one in previous centuries could have even imagined the impact this one life has had on billions of people.

Second Of All

“It is that through the gospel the Gentiles are heirs together with Israel, members of one body and sharers together in the promise of Christ” (Eph 3:4-9). God’s “purpose was to create in Himself one new humanity out of the two, thus making peace,” in “one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility,” and now “both have access to the Father by one Spirit” (Eph 2:15, 16, 18).

God wants to unite both Jews and Gentiles by breaking down the “wall of hostility” (Eph 2:14) between Jews and Gentiles and create “one new humanity, out of the two, thus making peace” (Eph 2:15). Today, there are many more walls of hostility between English, Asians, Hispanics, Islanders, Africans, Europeans, white and black. The Christian faith brings them together in one new humanity. How does this happen? This is possible through God's wisdom, as believers love and care for one another.

Thus, we must learn to fellowship and worship God together, with no racial or ethnic differences allowed among us as believers. No one is superior to another, better than another. No one has the right to dominate in leadership.  “From him the whole body, joined and held together [by love] by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work” (Eph 4:16).

Application of the Mystery

Through the “Gospel of peace” (Eph 6:15), both man and woman are “united” (Eph 5:31). The union between Jews and Gentiles is carried by Paul not only to marriage but to the church at large. Listen to Paul’s unmistakable appeal: “I appeal to you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another in what you say and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in mind and thought” (1 Cor 1:10).

This applies to the church at large, but it is seen first in marriage, where man and woman are “united in mind and thought” with Christ as their head, not with either one claiming to be the first leader in the family.

Let it be understood clearly that marriage comes before the church; it is the bedrock and foundation for a Christ-centered Church.  A happy marriage is more important than a corporate church. The Eden marriage came first. Good marriages make a strong church, and broken marriages create weakness in the church. Using tithes and offerings to help develop strong marriages is the highest priority. Because God patterns the church after marriage. And when we all arrive in heaven, we are “invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb!” (Rev 19:9).

Unity Between Their Spirits

They keep their unity “of the Spirit through the bond of peace” (Eph 4:3). No one will break the bond that the “One Spirit” (Eph 4:4) has created by making his “dwelling” (2:22) place in both husband and wife. If they break that “bond” with arguments and disagreements that create separation and bitterness, they risk losing the Holy Spirit, the source of their spiritual life.

To Wives

The word “head” should be understood as a “cornerstone” that unites two walls; it refers to Christ (Eph 2:20). Thus, the wife and husband are part of the same wall, because they need each other. For each is built in opposite directions, forming a wall but united on one cornerstone—Christ.

When men claim headship over their wives, they are under the governance of Christ, who has paired them together in His promises and life. “Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. (2 Cor 3:17), for both husband and wife. The freedom of forgiveness, love, redemption, and a promised inheritance as children of God. It is freedom for the wife to be led by the Lord in her convictions and direction for her life. Freedom for man to permit his wife to lean on faith in Christ, before and above himself.

Spirit-filled men will model themselves after Christ, who provided free grace and justification from all their sins through the love of God. Husbands are to “walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved” them (Eph 5:2). Thus, the husband will express sacrificial love, as Christ did for him, toward his wife. The husband is to model Christ, as Paul previously said, “Follow God’s example as dearly loved children” (Eph 5:1). If the husband abuses his wife, God will hold him responsible and accountable. God will come to the rescue of the wife who loves God and is abused, at the expense of the husband.

Both: Belong to the Lord First

If the husband has been transformed by the Spirit’s influence and by the grace of God, he will realize that his wife belongs to God just as much. Both have been set apart and chosen to be a loving family that belongs to God.

• “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience” (Col 3:12).

The husband will want his wife to be in heaven with him and will wish to love her there also.

Nothing To Hide

The husband will not run a course of action that must be hidden from his wife. He will make “every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace” (Eph 4:3). Lies will break the bond of peace between them.

Both Take Care of Each Other’s Health

The husband will regard his wife’s life and health as not belonging to him, but to Christ her redeemer, a member of the body of Christ. This means that the husband will willingly give his wife the same food or medicine that he uses for his health. He will not withhold pleasures such as massages or health club membership from his wife. He will not buy better clothes, a newer car, or take vacations where she is not invited. If she is overworked raising several small children, he will forgo time with the guys to support her. He will not hide their finances from her, giving her a small part compared with what he wants to spend on his hobbies and personal pursuits. The good husband will be “good news” to his wife in all things. He would not force his way, following his ideas and plans as if her voice did not matter. Such a husband may go to church, pay tithe, repeat Bible stories, and know about prophecy—but this does not matter at all if he does not “love” his “wife” as “himself” (Eph 5:28).

Husband’s Salvation Tied to His Wife’s Treatment

The truth is that the husband’s salvation is very much dependent on how he treats his wife and children. Jesus told Nicodemus that unless one is “born again” and “born of the Spirit,” they will “not see the Kingdom of God.” To mistreat a woman is a sure sign that this individual does not know the God of love, the earliest and most lasting sign that a believer has been born from above.

Paul wrote to the Thessalonian believers, “Now about your love for one another we do not need to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love each other” (1 Thess 4:9). When we walk with God, it will be natural to love our spouses. If not, we may be lost for eternity.

To Both Husbands & Wives: United to Save Each Other

Both are to realize they are to be “united” (5:31), in one body, one spirit, one faith, one love, one hope, and one calling. They are to:

• “Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ, as He loved us” (5:2 NLT).

• “Serve one another humbly in love” (Gal 5:13).

Remember At the Start

Remember, as discussed at the beginning of this section, these passages on marriage are directed to Ephesian men and women that have been “made alive with Christ” and are “seated with him in heavenly realms in Christ Jesus” (Eph 5,6). Should a husband who does not know the Love of God claim to be the head of his wife, the consequences could be imprisonment of women. Paul did not have this in mind since he is directing his letter to those who “were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light” (Eph 5:8).

God’s Last Two Commandments: Have Faith and Love One Another

• “And this is his commandment: to believe [have faith] in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us [He gave the commandment to us]. The one who keeps God’s [two] commands lives in him, and he in them.” John 3:23,24

• “Anyone who loves their brother and sister lives [abides] in the light, and there is nothing in them to make them stumble [walks with light on their path]. But anyone who hates a brother or sister is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness. They do not know where they are going, because the darkness has blinded them.” 1 John 2:10-11

• “For this is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another. Do not be like Cain, who belonged to the evil one [Satan] and murdered his brother.” 1 John 3:11-12

End of Ephesians  Chapter 5

Written by: Brothers & Sisters in Scripture Fellowship

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