Ball Goes Shit

ballgoesshit@gmail.com







I know nothing has been posted for a while. There are reasons for that, but for those that still check to see if we are still around I will give you a photo of the fabled coin pushed with a link to what it could be. 

2023 over 40 indoor 

Since I have been taken off of the Dune Puma email list because of my injury I have no idea when the games are and for the most part will not be able to do the recaps because I don't know what time the games are. The Bearded Reporter would show up if informed, but as of now he has been banished form the team becasue of a knee injury,

Notes the have been forwarded are as followed: Dan left early and there was much rejoicing. and the game winning goal (for the other team) was a "cheeky" back heel. 

It is said that Adam also left early, so as not to let Janice know he preferred hanging with the team and drinking vs getting yelled at. 

It should be noted that Joe likes his gravy on the backside.  Take that to mean whatever you think it means. 

So I assume the Dune Pumas lost....but who know what the score was. 6? 12? 9? to 20? 

Some one put Andy back on the email list........

All of this is hear say and none of it might have happened. 

10/24/2023 over 40 indoor 


It was the first indoor game for the brewers since the spring.  We usually play like idiots the first few games until we remember it's not outdoor and it's played a bit differently.  Not this time though...the Brewers started the season with a hard fought 3-2 win!

The first goal was a nice pass from Derek on the right flank to the back post where Lonny was there to tap it in.  Shortly after, there was some miscommunication and some poor touches that left not one but two offensive players behind us all.  They still managed to hit the wall twice before they finally put it in.  A few minutes later they had a free kick from our defensive left.  the guy on the ball put a beautiful shot in the opposite upper 90...for a goal kick...people still don't realize everything is indirect.  Just before half time they had another free kick from the top of the box.  one guy on the ball...he's gonna shoot it again isn't he...yep.  But they posted up a guy in the center of the goal and we had a defender with him.  Rooney initially started to move out of the way to let it in, but then panicked that the offensive guy might get a touch with his head.  He moved his hand right behind his head to account for this.  then the offensive player ducked and it hit his hand and went in.  Dan would punt the ball into the ceiling and then punt his water bottle to midfield as the half ended seconds later.  The second half featured our new player, Angel who either just turned 40 on Monday or is turning 40 next Monday...either way, HBD.  He was on top of the box and took a pass from the deep right corner and popped it one time into the upper left corner.  A tidy finish for his first goal as a Dune Puma.  Angel would also later add the game winning Penalty shot after a clear foul.

Speaking of fouls.  The saying "stereotypes exist for a reason"...exists for a reason.  We played the Mexican team.  Of course, most Mexicans are wonderful people but this team checked all the typical boxes.  Lots of ankle hacking fouls, lots of bitching when they got fouled, ignoring the referees, and the mexican machismo was present.  The first half was typical...the second half got nuts.  It started with Matola taking a hard hit into the wall in our defensive corner:  Blue card and complaining (Angel's first goal came on this power play).  Another time Derek got hacked near midfield and yelled...can we just play soccer?  The other guy bitched and came over and squared up on Derek...Greg the ref had to separate them.  Then the penalty foul...clear foul, lots of bitching.  Jaime took a gut punch that we played through on advantage...then they bitched the refs stopped play to make sure Jaime could breathe.  An epic novel's worth of words would be required to recount every foul.

So we'll move on to the best one.  They are playing the ball from their own goal.  They had an offensive player posted up in our box...with Sarge.  You know where this is going.  They were bodied up for no reason, then the other guy turned around and started bitching at Sarge, two hand pushed him twice and before it got out of hand, a red card was shown (keep reading until the end).  Another skirmish involving new Jason resulted in blue cards for both teams.  We are now playing 4 on 3...this is when we got the penalty.  they did not understand they didn't get a guy back when we scored.  A red card is a hard 5 minutes and the offsetting blue cards mean nobody comes back on with a goal.  We could work on our ability to control the ball late in a game when we're winning.  Greg the ref mentioned after the game he was not looking forward to reffing that team's games all winter.

Afterwords...much beer was drank.  Matola got pitchers of Modelo to honor our fallen opponents.  There was only one open table which we stacked 9 chairs around at first.  Then we realized the woman sitting at the table next to us had left.  We took that table.  Then she came back.  A magical 3rd table appeared and we provided her a chair.  She did not want her left over fries and chicky nuggs.  It was around this time that Sarge revealed the firecracker that led to red card.  Sarge called him a cunt.  He tossed out the bait and the fish swallowed it hook, line, and sinker.  Finally, in honor of the name of our team, Jason was accused of hitting on Jaime's mom.




10/20/2023 over 30 outdoor 


Last game of outdoor over 30 fall soccer. This is it this is the last game the Dune Pumas would play in fresh air and it would be a good game. It would be less one sided then the score would show. 


The first attempt on goal would not take long. The first shot came from Cam on a well placed through ball, but his shot would be saved at by the keeper pushing the ball wide of the goal. 


Again the Brewers pushed and came for a decent cross into the box and Kyle would jump and put the ball on frame. Again the keeper would be the hero and save it 


The first goal would come from a selfless pass by Tator. He was in the penalty box but saw Kyle make a run toward the back post. The pass went through and Kyle passed hit home nice and simple. 1 to 0


Tator would be on his passing game today. The next attempt was from him to Cam. Cam put it right at the keeper. 


Jamie went in for a fifty fifty ball but did not win it. There was an echoing call from the crowd. "Jamie come on" or it could have been a bad pass, but who knows the truth of these things. 


Adam could not pass the ball in the first half to save his dignity. Three passes in a row went right to the other team. This would continue for a while but would get cleaned up as the second half started. Luckily he was holding the defense strong and was useful enough not to bench. 


Ken was marking one of the fastest players on the field, but this is no excuse. He got megged right in front of the Brewers bench and was taunted by his home team as he recovered and headed back on defense. 


Kurt was marking the man in the blue shorts on the other team. The ball was sent through and it was a foot race. Kurt was side by side with the guy but ended up falling on his face as the guy went past. This was the first of the many one on ones Dan had to clean up. 


Kurt would shortly after have the ball kicked into his hand while in the box, it fell to his feet and he cleared it over the touch line. No penalty was called. 


Cam picked up a bad pass out of the back from the goalie. It might have ricocheted off a defender to his feet and he took a touch and put it into the goal for his second. 


Kyle took an elbow to the face on a challenge but the ball would still be mad for came to strike the ball up and over the keeper into the far top corner. Half the bench watched as he had the opportunity and most of them did don't shoot don't shoot. But he shot and scored....the bench went silent.


Sonny got one by accident. He scored a goal while attempting to cross the ball, but instead the cross was to far forward and headed into the back corner of the goal. He attempted to sound like that is what he ment to do, but after he struck the ball he was heard yelling "shit." He knows he miss hit it but would take the goal as his own. 


New Jason would get a goal as well. He receiver a ball out of the air on a run. He took a touch, chipped the defender and was able to bring it down and score the goal. 


Sonny would put another cross into the center. Cam would take the ball out of the air and hit the post. The ball would fall it Justin and he would tap it in. For a while it looked like a goal and it should have been. The other team claimed offsides and the ref made the call and the goal was disallowed. 


Dan would have another one on one. He would get all of the ball and the player went sailing over from the contact.  Someone from the bench reminded Kurt that he should have been there. 


New Jason and Mark would go up for the same ball. They both liked up for. Head ball and ended up colliding. In the air they said they touch penises....neither of them said how it felt. 


Tator would have a chance from a simple pass across the goal. He would miss the goal but a bit. 


Justin would finally get a goal off a cross from Cam. 


All in all it was recorded that Dan made five one on one save and a hand full of good to decent saves keeping the other team at zero. 


The guy in blue shorts on the other team was quoted as saying "if I was on a team that passed I would have so many goals."


Note of interest. Vitamin B12 is required for the function and development of many parts of the body, including the brain, nerves, and blood cells. Methyl cobalamin is the active form of vitamin B12. Cyanocobalamin, which must be processed by the body into the active form, is the most common type used in supplements. But if you want to do better try B13. 


Sonny had his phone out while in at the urinal. The Breaded One was convinced he took a dick pick to send to his wife. Yet was not sure it was a pick of him or not. 


What is a mini van. Sure you know. It is a vehicle with two people in the front and up to five in the back. Yet there is more than that. We all know that. Yes we all know it is a sex position. Two fingers in the front and five in the back. It is up for debate as to what the cargo truck is. Pickup below for the mini van. 


Lost untranslated note "Mark dp. Hat. Mark.". ......(editors note, I have no idea)




10/10/2023 over 40 outdoor 


The return of Sarge. 

The man the myth the legend has returned. After a second long absence Sarge has returned to the playing field. His knee, caf or ankle (maybe Achille) are better and he can run around a bit with the over 40s on Tuesdays.  

Again it was a loss for the Brewers, but a good performance non the less. The Brewers were out matched, but put in a good effort considering last season they lost by double digits to The Lucky Clovers. This time it was only four to zero. And one of those was an own goal...so let's say 3 to 1. 

Justin had the first "real" chance on goal in the game. He got the ball in the box and had to turn quickly. He put the ball three miles over the goal and it went into the parking lot and hit a jeep. The ball did not go in the goal. 

Adam would start as the central defender, but would not stay there for long. Early in the game he decided to make a few runs forward to try to make a difference. He did. He had a few good crosses and a few decent shots. He played the full game and work hard through out. 

Joe was moving while he was on the field, and playing soccer. This was noticed from the players on the bench and The injured Bearded one noted....that is good coaching right there. 

Justin and Tim ended up marking a guy with the ball. He was attacking the right corner. He cut once, then twice, then again and finally a fourth time end ended up getting the cross off betting both of the Brewers. But the ball want over the touch line so it was a win for the good guys in the end. 

Jamie got the first real sot on goal for the Brewers. It was a long shot but hard and on target. It forced the keeper to make a save. 

She would later be the reason for the first goal scored in the game. She would make a bad pass out of the back.  She was looking to pass the ball cross field to Lonny on the right but it would go directly to other team. He was wide open and had time at the top of the box and hit a smasher into the back of the net. 

Dan had a great game in the goal. I could make some shit up about his saves and they would be believed, but I will just put up some highlights. A shot came in and he saved it with his foot, it bounce just out of reach and was shot at him again. Again he made the save and again it was just out of reach, but our defense clears the ball. 

Dan would smothered a two on one from the corner. Tim got beat on the out side and no one followed the forward in the center. Dan attended the player with the ball and cut off the pass to the middle. No one is sure how it happened or how much it hurt, but in the end the ball was trapped between Dan's legs for the save. 

Justin would try again with a half field shot trying to get the Brewers their first goal, but it would land in the keepers hands. It was a bit optimistic, but it was an attempt. 

Sarge was all in on his first game back. While playing defence has worked his way up the field and passed the ball to Stef, who one touched it back into Sarge's path. The goalie came out and Sarge went into a fifty fifty challenge with the keeper. Sarge would not win the challenge but would get to the ball the same time the keeper did and end up going head over heals after the contact. 

Lonny had two good chances one was on a through ball that he put just over the back post and the other was a simple shot that the keeper just got his finger tips to and pushed it wide. 

The score was two to zero right before the half. The ball went out for a corner kick and Dan rushed to get the ball and threw it to the other team. There was less than thirty seconds left of the clock. The cross came in an landed at Tim's feet and with one touch he put the ball into the back of the net for an own goal. Ending the half at three to zero. 

The Brewers were doing well in the second half and was about to hold the Lucky Clovers to a no scoring half. Yet at the last minute the bad guys scored a goal. After it went in the ref blew the whistle and the game was over. Final 4 to 0 

After the game Jamie was complaining about her hot hammy. She's been working through a hamstring injury and was wearing a neoprene sleeve. So her hot hammy was getting warmer than normal. 

Joe is also still rolling around the ruff and tuff city serving up subpenises. 

It was kind of cold after the game and Jamie had gloves on and could not put her koozie on her beer, so Dan keep dressing her beer for her. 

While watching a lacrosse practice and drinking, Sarge kept yelling toward the field, "hit the girl with the stick."

Turns out pink eye is a form of conjunctivitis and is the basically eye herpes. 

Some one on the team told a story about how their neighbors drive way light was shining into their bedroom. Instead of talking the that neighbor this one person decided that the best course of action was as to drop trow and moon them. Now to no one surprise only moments later the light was turned off. 

Now if it happens again the new idea is to wag a Weiner instead of show the moon. The other idea was to go full monkey on the neighbor and throw fecal matter out the window. 

And then we started talking about dicks and dildos. Seems dildos are dishwasher safe but dicks are not. You should not use bleach on either of them. 

Again something strange was said, and a note was taken, but little is know about the quote. While Jamie was wagering her Weiner at Dan she kept yelling "wake up little one." That is all the note said. 

Lastly and the last dick joke. No one is quite sure why a blow job is called a blow job. You don't blow in anything.  Yet when guys get old and the skin gets l loose and wrinkly then you could blow and play the penis like a skin flute....and noise might be made. 

For the woman out there the same thing could happen while wearing a skirt on a windy day.

Shit one more thing, but then this needs to end. It sounds like there is a video out there that changes the meaning of the words "ball goes shit" (editors note....I tried to find this video, but could not and I thing everyone is grateful) as the story goes a well manicured man pushed one of his own testicles into his ass and then pulled it out. Yup he shit his own ball. Not even sure how that is possible. 


10/6/2023 over 30 outdoor 


It was a cold fall Friday and the first day it really started to feel like fall.  The game started on time at a good sixty degrees. 


The first good chance came from a shot by Cam which smartly hit the post. 


As the game progressed The Tall Andy asked Sonny if he needed a sub. The response came back a solid, NO. So Andy said, "ok that I guess I'll leave my pants on then"


First goal was a head ball for the bad guys. A short flat cross came in and went just post Dan. 


I a play a little later The Caterer chances after a long ball over his head. He thought he was fast for a while but the forward chased him down after having a four stride deficit. The shot he took went way wide. 


Justin had a chance on a head ball, but it ended up hitting the outside of the net. He had thrown his body at the ball so hard the he ended up on the ground. He was a little slow getting up and the other team was able to put the goal kick into play before he got back to his feet.  Kent and Mark both said they would have put the ball in and that Justin should do some wind sprints. 


The next goal would come after a poor ball was passed out of the back. The other team picked it off and turned quickly and put the ball into the back of the net.  


Dan once again ended up with a one on one and was forced to make a save. He got his hand to it as he advanced on the attacker and pushed it wide. 


Tator had the first chance in the second. He would follow that up with the next best change he took a shot the it hit a defender and Tator attacked and fouled said defender trying to win the ball back. 


Cam again had a good shot from distance. But the ball did not bend because of the wind. It went just wide. The consensus was that it had nothing to do with the wind, it was just chemistry that kept the ball out of the next. 


Gill went in for a change and completely leaned into the player. Both benches thought it was a foul but the ref called nothing. Just after Gill got up ended by the same player in the same play and a foul was called. 


Jaime was then called for a clear offsides and a random player on the bench yelled, "Strap it on,, if we get one on these guys their butts will start puckering" no one knows who said this but everyone heard it. 


Jamie then went in for a tackle and pulled something. She came off the field and was rewarded with a keystone light. 


Tator ended up getting a yellow card as he hip checked the keeper on a loose ball. 


The game ended with two goals scored in the first half and none in the second. 0 to 2 loss. 


As people were shacking hands at the end one of the players told Jamie "good game girl"


After game was spent inside since the temp dropped to forty degrees and no one has time for that. 


justin came to play on this day. He asked his girl friend, "when are we getting married? I have to go play soccer"


While Kent and The Caterer were talking about Kent's frozen pond Andy found a way to fix Kent's ice hockey problem and make the frozen pod smother. Detail are a secret and only Kent and The Caterer thinks it will work. 


Other notes there are one Dollar stripers Ken found some where and then there is something called striper juice. Like a BUTTery juice.


Ken also had beer delivered to the table. 


There was a naked three some on the table, but sunny likes a darker amber. 


Mark started tossing popcorn around and then started inhaling it from the box. But that was not good enough. He put a bunch in his beer and started drinking it. He was as not happy with the outcome. 


At the end of the night as the group was leaving everyone went to the men's room as we left and there were a lot of dicks in there .


10/3/2023 over 40 outdoor 


it started good...

tim opened the scoring when he stole the ball took two touches and hit a shot from pretty good distance that dipped in over the keepers outstretched hand.  Adam got the next one on a deflected cross that hung up in the air.  he was patient as he waited forever for it to come down and volleyed it just inside the post.  very reminiscent of a goal he scored on his brother not too long ago. (lets not talk about that) then the other team scored.  then Adam got another one on a 3 on 2 break.  the defense kept giving ground and never made Adam pass or change directions or even slow down.  he slotted it in the lower right corner for a 3-1 lead.

then the other team scored seven times.

very late in the game a frustrated Adam started some shit.  it seems one of the other teams players liked to make goofy noises at people instead of playing defense.  Adam gave him a little shot and the other team went crazy calling him a dirty player.  ironically including fatass greg...one of the top 5 dirtiest players at uihlein and Rooney's personal nemesis.  fuck greg.

referee Greg decided the game was over at this point.  loss 8-3.


with the late start we didn't have much drinking time and there was little enthusiasm for parking lot shenanigans.  we had a mini brewers book club for a moment with discussion about books read in high school such as Watership Down (the one with all the bunnies) and if people still read.  Rooney and Matola do not, although Matola does make his kids read.  Mark mentioned it took him 6th and 7th grade to read Stephen King's It.  

after book club there was more discussion about hookers...a very common subject the last few weeks.  The Rooneys tried to stop at a bar on the way home but it was closed...WTF?



9/29/2023 over 30 outdoor 


A lovely friday evening for soccer on Pat Jones for the Brewers vs Old Man Drama...where everyone on their team is younger than us...significantly.  Early on there was a slow roller to the box with Steve and an offensive player chasing while Dan was coming out to retrieve it.  The offensive player wasn't giving up, Steve did his best to protect Dan by putting himself in between.  In the end, there was a collision...Dan saw a lot of Steve's crotch coming at his face but Steve swears his thigh is what hit him.  This was referred to as "the forced blow job play" the rest of the night. The Brewers started strong with some excellently strung passes and lots of patience.  This would lead to the first goal starting from the back, down the left sideline, into the middle, back outside, back to the middle and Cam finishing on a wide open net.  The second goal was similar staring with Dan tossing to the midfield and 4 or 5 passes back and forth on the left with Cam finishing on a wide open net.

There was a good chance for the other team after this with a cross from the left that dropped on a half volley about 12 yards out right in the middle.  As the opposing forward made good contact his team was already celebrating but Dan dropped to his left and put a strong left hand on it to keep it out.  A few minutes later the bad guys had  run down the left hand side and they put a strong shot on goal from a poor angle.  Dan would punch it away and fully admit late if he didn't punch it he would have taken it right in the face.

The "old men" would get a goal in the first half.  The offensive player went one on one against Kyle down the defensive right side.  Kyle dove in on him 7 or 8 times with the offensive player cutting back each time to keep the ball.  Eventually, he was only 8 feed from the goal and was able to slot in the far corner.  The first half finished 2-1 Brewers.

The second half was quite even with a lot of back and forth play.  The Brewers would go up 3-1 on some good interior passing which ended up with Cam finishing on a wide open net.  The opposing team would score next on a long ball to the defensive left.  It appeared Matola was going to cut him off but they ended up getting a good shot off that dipped into the near side top corner.  Dan is unhappy with how he played it...but it was a good shot.  From here the game was quite tight with a lot of pressure from the other team.  There was a possible hand ball in the box where Danny pulled his arm clearly into his body and trapped the ball with his upper shoulder.  One of the opposing players would take huge offense to this play and continuously chase Danny around trying to get him to admit it was a handball...for seriously 7 minutes.  Eventually the normally quiet Danny had enough and squared up to him.  Redneck referee did not do well diffusing the situation but eventually gave the opposing player a yellow card and play continued.  At one point in the second half Adam was kneeling at Dan's feet and someone asked if he was proposing...he was just tying Dan's shoe.  Double knotted...good dad skills.

The Brewers would get an insurance goal with about 4 minutes left with a scrum in front of the net which ended up with Cam finishing on a wide open net.

Brewers win 4-2!

After the game someone asked Cam...is that two hat tricks in a row?  Cam calmly replied...Um, no, that's two quads.

There were a ton of feathers all over the field which let to a lot of guesses to how they got there.  Did Dawn release wolves on a pack of geese?  Or was there a giant sorority pillow fight?A lot of people stayed after...we ran out of tickets fast.  Dan had 4 tix of same color from July of 2002 that worked and we managed to snag some from other teams as well.  There was talk of Nick's shoulder injury with his torn labrum.  The story of Brewers Sting former manager Steve Starky's similar injury was recounted.  His wonderful soccer friends constantly gave him shit about his torn labia.  This got in his head so much that when he was at an eye exam recalling his medical history he told the female doctor about his torn labia...multiple times.

The time came for last call...some tickets were used, some pitchers were purchased and we ended up just outside the fence to close out the night.  Matola had the brilliant idea to grab a garbage can and use it upside down for a table..which then doubled as place to put all our garbage when we left (see picture).  The new bartendress Alexa joined us for a beer when she finished final clean up.



it is noted kurt is out after dark

9/26/2023 over 40 outdoor 


It rained on and off all day before the game. Some games and some practices were cancelled because the grass fields were too moist. Yet that did not affect the over fourth games that were played on Pat Jones since it was turf. Luckily the rain stopped an hour before game time and the Brewers played one of there oldest rivals Flatus United. 


There has been a history here of losing big. But today was not going to be one of those days. Even though the Brewers did not win, it felt good to tie. 3 to 3


The first good attempt on goal would come from Adam. He would pass the ball across the goal at a surprisingly slow pace. No one would touch it and it would hit the far post and head over the touch line. 


On defence a long ball would come over the top. Derick would track it for a while and eventually yell, "my ball" but as he went up for the header he realized it was not going to be his ball and just yelled "Rooney" as the ball went over his head. Dan was able to get to the ball before the attacking player. 


The first goal would come shortly after Lonny would intercept a ball coming from the keeper and pass it off to Tator who simply passed it into the back of the net. 


In the first half, while play was going on Tator would be in the middle of the field. He was bent over looking like he was picking up some of the loose feathers that were paying on the pitch. The ball came near him but he was too busy taking a knee to react, but no harm came from this play, nor did any offence. 


Editors not....no notes were taken about the other team's goals. But it is said that the Brewers were in the lead at half. 


A second goal for the Brewers was scored after a few good passes through the middle of the field. Adam would get the ball from Dan and bring it up to half. He would pass it to Lonny and get it back on a one touch pass. He would then find Stef open just inside the box who would put the ball into the net. 


Shorty after that the other team would make what could have been a game winning error. One of the defenders passed the ball back to their keeper, but the keeper was either not ready for it or just missed the ball while attempting to trap it. The ball roller towards the goal line and he scrambled to get back and cleared it off the line before it went in. Now some would protest that the ball crossed the line but no one had a good angle it, but it was close. 


The last Brewers goal would be scored by Mark. Matt pulled a ball out of the air in one of the ugliest ways possible, but he got it under control and passed the ball to Andy who took a touch and feed the ball to Mark for the third goal. 


Editors not again. No notes were taken about the goals against the Brewers. 


For a while Rodrigo was playing defense. This is not something we see all that often. Normally we see him play as a forward, but he did well. As it turns out he was a defender growing up, but he has jumped up to forward while playing for the Brewer because in his words, "someone has to score."


Gill got a yellow before the game ended. With less than five minutes left in the game the ref would pull out a yellow card for a challenge. Gill would complain as he walked off, but this would end the game for him. 


The game ended in the brewer's third tie of the fall season. 


After the game there was some talk about where the best hookers are in the city. Stay off Wisconsin Ave and Vliet Street. Joe would be the best person to ask about this since as a cop he witnessed a lot of activity. He didn't necessarily do anything about it, but he watched a lot of shit go down. 


Stay out of West Allis because a lot of them have Summer teeth. Some are there and some are not. 


What is a mini van? We all thought we knew what a minivan was, but it seems we were wrong and it almost killed a few people in laughter when the explanation was revealed. 


Hold you buts as we explain what a minivan is.....two in the front and five in the back. After getting this explanation it took a  few of the Brewers about five minutes to stop laughing and rejoin the conversation. 


Marks best play of the night was when he went up to get beer, with tickets, and came back with a box of popcorn. 


Lastly, I am not allowed to mention or explain the slow bus, so I won't. You would have had to be there. 


Mark would also be looking at the sky for most of the time we drank after the game. He expected it to rain before the celabration ended. This has happened a lot to the Brewers as of late and the two ass to ass tailgates have been something that saves the drinking.


9/24/2023 over 30 outdoor (sunday)


Sunday soccer is always good. Sunday soccer at six in the afternoon is not as good. But outdoor soccer is coming to an end and the Brewers do what they can to keep playing. 

This game would be a good game. Eight goals would be scored for the Brewers, while three would be scored by the other team. 

The game started with the Brewers having three subs and the other team starting with ten. That would not last long and the other team would get a full squad before the Brewers scored their first goal. Kyle would get a cross into the box and score withing the first ten minutes or the game. 

Shortly after that Cam would put another cross into the center of the goal and it would deflect of a defender and past the keeper into the goal. In no time the Brewers were up by two. 

On defense Austin would attempt to clear the ball out of the box. As it sailed towards Gill, Austin would yell "let" but the ball would crash into Gill's back and the ball would have to be cleared a second time. 

The next best change for the Brewers was off another cross into the box.  New Jason would get a chance at it, but completely miss hit it. Matt would get the second chance at it but put it right into a defender's legs. It would pop out to Jamie and she would put it over the goal.....like she does. 

Jack and Jamie would hook up for the third goal. Jack would carry the ball up the field with an two one one with a defender. He would pass to Jaime. She put the shot one goal and under the crossbar, but it would be saved by the keeper only to land back on Jack's foot for a tap in. 

Back on defense The Caterer would win a mostly fifty fifty ball after a long ball was pushed forward. He would clear it towards the side line but it would end our hitting the corner flag on its way out and still end up as a throw in for the other team. 

Dan would be a good keeper and lay himself out on a long shot and just barely get his hand to it and tip it wide. 

The half would end three to nothing. 

New Jason would would go in for a soft chalange and pull up lame and tweek his hammy again. The ref called the ball dead even though the Brewers had the advantage. Jason would come off the field as the play was called dead. There was no foul and when asked about it later he would say, "the ref and I have a bond. You need to make your own way in this world and make connections." Jason would not return to the pitch. 

The first goal for the other team came from the man in the white shirt. He was the only one on the other team wearing a white shirt. This must have thrown off the defense since he has a long ball put threw the defense and he hit a shot just out of Dan's reach. 

The Caterer would end up in a two one one situation. He played it well for a while, knowing the man in the white shirt never seemed to pass the ball. But as he stepped in to clean the ball just inside of the box, he would miss and end up on his ass. This let the white shirted man past him, but Dan made the save. 

On another defensive play Dan would save a shot only to have it fall to the opposing team. Another shot would come and Jamie would get in the way and clear it off the line. 

Cam would get another chance on goal from distance. It went right at the keeper l, but it was misplaced. The goalie got in front of it but it went through his hands and hit him in the junk. There is a great Polaroid of it. He laid on the ground for a moment and play continued, stretched and took a knee while he tried to recover. 

At this point Cam looked like he wanted a goal and he wanted one bad, but he would be denied as he wandered offsides, received the ball and put the ball in the back of the net. No goal. Yet as the other team put it in play they must have felt bad for him. They put it in play and Cam intercepted the ball. His first shot was at the keeper but the second attempt he put a wicked shot into the side netting to score his first real goal. 

Cam would get another one from distance shortly after with a long shot that just went inches from the goal keeper. After getting hit him in the nuts he may not have wanted to get in front of any of Cam's shots from here on out. 

Not long after Cam would get his true hat trick. He would again get the ball just out side of the box and Laser it into the side netting. 

Kyle would also get a goal. There was a throw in. Jamie put the ball into play and it landed between Tator and Kyle. Kyle was heading towards the goal and kept yelling at Tator, two or three times, that Kyle wanted the ball. Tator let him have it after what looked like a little confusion and Kyle would take one touch and smash it into the upper near corner. He would celebrate by pointing to the sky and jogging back to the half line. 

Tator would receive a ball out of the air around the half line. He would pull off the infamous Mark Eckmen ass trap. This would lead to another goal. From here the ball would work it's way up the field and back into Tator's path. He ended up with the ball inside of the box. He was alone. One on one with the keeper. He let the ball stop. Took a step to the right, then to the left, finally he took a step back to line up the shot, he may have put his finger up to test the wind and then shot the ball directly at the keeper. Luckily a defender was there to clean up his mess and put the ball into the back of the net. Gill got the rebound and ended up scoring. 

Another goal came ageist the Brewers when the man in the white shirt did something he had not done all game. He passed the ball to a teammate and that guy put the ball into the back of the goal. 

Mark fouled a guy in the second half. Sure.it was a foul and no one disputed it. Mark went in and hit the bottom of the defender's cleat. The wish blew and then Justin, from the side line, yelled it was incidental contact. He just kicked the bottom of the guys foot. The ref as this point exploded. He looked at our bench and yelled something like, "you are players I am the ref. Just like I told the other team, You do your job and I will do mine." Basically telling use to know our role. 

A few goals might have been left out, but it was a good game. 

After the game things were learned, but not much. The scariest thing was finger toes. People should not be able to manipulate things with their toes, but it seems like Matt and ALL of his family can do that. It is so prevalent in his family it can be used as a way to determine if you are part of his family. 

Editors not. My sister in-law freaked me out once or twice because she too can pick up pens and paper with her toes. 

Then we get to Crocks and Socks. I guess not all old men wear sandals and socks. Hell some of the Brewers won't wear sandals because their feet are well past making public appearances. Yet Crocks at comfortable and hide the feet. Ugly but I guess not as ugly as feet. 

The. We have Crocks jewelry. Crocs jibbitz. They are like The Pandora bracelet but for your feet. Not sure if they make the shoes prettier, but they are a thing. 


The goalie tryin to recover from a long shot he took in the nuts 

9/19/2023 over 40 outdoor 

Before the game the Brewers were somewhat concerned about numbers. The most important part of these numbers was....nine. 


With the total number of players that responded yes only ten would show up. Sure there were two players that called I sick, the day of, but still ten is not a bad number. 


Yet two showed up late. Late would be less than five minutes before half. Both blamed their kids as being the reason why. Math was part of one of those excuses and I hope Joe's kid passes the math test coming up this week.


Ken, and old Brewer that no longer Brewers with the Brewers, stepped in as a sub so that the ODBs would have a full ninety at start. He had just played a game before so that extra body helped. 


The first goal would not be pretty. The ball would get passed into the box and no one could quite get a handle on it. Stef would intercept the shot. But would never get a chance to control it. He would get lost under him and he could not make good contact to clear or pass it. Yet Adam still blames him self for this goal, mostly because he did not clear the ball when he had an opportunity. 


Yet the second goal would be, mostly, his fault. He was not the only one at fault but he started the comedy of errors that lead to the goal. 


Adam was pinned in the corner with no clear pass forward. He had not made a good kind ball out of the back all day, so he decided to pass the ball back to Dan, the goalkeeper. Sure it was across the goal and no offense plays were anywhere near Dan. But the ball did not go to Dan. He split Dan and Ken. The defender went to Dan so he let the ball past hit and let Ken know to take the ball. The defender bought the fake, but when getting the ball Ken turned right into the offensive players and.....yes goal. 


Linney had the first real opportunity to score the first goal. He got the ball in the box, but took a touch instead of shooting first time. No goal. 


Jaime would then have a few good interactions through out the game. The first good opportunity was from Jamie puring long cross towards the back post. Rigo would be the intended target. He would pull it down with minor pressure and end up missing. It just wide of the fae post. 


Jamie would, moments later get a long shot from outside of the box to barely be picked off by retired Santa. 


Second best opportunity in the first half was off a cross. Rego would Po it the ball into the box and Adam would get up and head the ball less then an inch from the out side of the post. 


Mark, OJ, would start only because he had to. Plantars fasciitis has been plaguing the man of a month or so neo, but he would come play because he was needed. He played as hard as he could. He push d him self when he could and got into a few altercations. The biggest one was on the near side line. He won chalange near the touch line and passed to Rego only to be pulled down. Pulled down is simplifying it. After the pass the defective player hooked marks are and drop his head into the ground. 


This might have been the angriest Mark as ever been playing soccer. He got up and started yelling at the player. The ref saw nothing and stopped playing because of the fight. Since ther were no subs yet Mark kept playing. 


When he came out you could see the black and blue marks starting to show up on the left side of his face. He even thinks he got a concussion from tackle.  (Editors note: he left before the game was over, but he made it home ok)


Second half would end and the Brewers would come together and give some advice. The half time talk was as follows: keep the ball low, shot the ball on goal, thank God the caterer showed up, is Mark ok, Adam was the cause of both goals and why have we not scored on discount Santa Clause.


Zero to Two 


Second half would go better. Not right away but it would get better. Now that Adam was no longer playing defence he would no longer try to play a long ball out of the back. In the first half he tried that five times and it went right back to the other team. Half the time he apologized for the bad pass. 


The first goal of the second half came from a dead ball. Jamie would get fouled a few yards out of the box. The ball would be out into play and right at Stef who would strike it into the back of the next. First goal for the good guys. 


But again the Brewers would be in the defence. Jamie would play on the out side right mid for a while. She was matched up with s tall guy who tired to cross the ball twice. Jamie would get in front of the first cross that hit her in the back. He would try to cross it again, after a few touches, and again Jaime would block it. It went out of bounce a f the guy forgot how to do a throw in and lifted his leg. The ref said nothing. The ref would miss three bad throw ind by the other team as the game went on. 


The Brewer would get the next goal in the second half, to tie the game. Stef took a shot and it bounced off defender directly into Tim's path. Tim took two steps and leaned into the ball and made good contact. With one touch he ok it a rocket into the back of the net. 


Adam would have a chance to score the go ahead goal. He had good contact, but put the ball just wide. It hit the out side of the post and almost stayed in bounce. 


Tim would try to relive his first amazing shot. The ball fell to him two more times at about the same spot he hit his first goal. The first one went wide. The second went high and wide. 


Rego would have a chance to finish the game. Late I the second Adam would feed the ball to Stef, through the defence. This would pit Stef and Rego one on one with a defender. The ball would be passed, Rego would receive it being the defence and being the keeper. He would turn on an open goal and miss wide of the near post. Maybe he did not know where the goal was, maybe he could not have turn quickly enough, maybe he did not know he had time to take a touch or two. All we know is that he would like to have the opportunity back and have a second chance. 

The game would end two to two tie. 


Highlights: Rego would call of the ball as he was standing two years over the touch line. Yet Jamie would still pass it to him. 


The game ended in a two to two tie. 


The after game was small and quiet. The cold might have been the cause of this....as well as kids.


The Brewers drank their tickets and left before collecting more. 


The last comment recorded "We had some really nice balls into the center. "




9/17/2023 over 30 outdoor (sunday)

The first game of the fall session.  Why are we playing on a Sunday?  It was a late arriving crew, likely due to a close Packer game that ended poorly.  More sporting disappointment would follow.

We warmed up on the south end of the field but Tator informed us just before game time we would switch sides to start the game due to sun and wind considerations...this fact will return in a moment.

We started the game a bit late and had a 3 man advantage for the first several minutes but couldn't muster any offense.  The other team didn't seem to understand offsides and were caught several times often by many yards and still complain about it.  About 15 minutes in they finally got the pass correct and an offensive player put a weak touch to the ball from about 15 yards out.  It spun and floated and drifted in the wind.  As Dan went to make a routine save the ball floated into the sun and Dan was blinded entirely.  He got a bit of a touch on the ball but not nearly enough to keep it out. A few minutes later the goal scorer would take Adam down from behind with a swipe at his legs...Adam screamed at him and threw the ball at him.  Wally would brandish the yellow card.  Later in the half as a ball came into the box, a defensive player would completely run over Nic.  It drove his shoulder into the ground and he would be done for the game...hopefully he won't miss much time.  The brewers would have some first half chances but never really challenged the keeper.

The second half didn't go much better.  The brewers had some great balls into the box but never could find the final touch to score.  The bad guys managed to put one in when Austin got a touch on a cross, fell down, and left the ball at the offensive players feet.  he tapped into the corner from 6 yards out.  2-0 loss to a bad team.  Quote from Jaime, "well, that was embarrassing."

We did have a good drinking day.  The brewers majors team was playing on the stadium field which added some extra entertainment.  We did a lot of yelling, particularly on a weak penalty call against the brewers.  Sunny repeatedly screamed Set him on fire after every foul.  We were told later that the refs asked Billy to calm us down...he did not.

The other team did not come to retreive their tickets...so we took them.  Shortly after that another team gave us their extra tickets.  The included picture was taken after we had already finished our allotment.  We all agreed we would not use all the tickets...challenge accepted.  It got chilly so Mark, Dan, and Jaime went into watch indoor.  The tickets did not last.  One admission, we did trade 3 tickets for popcorn...how is popcorn worth the same as 3 beers?

Topics of discusssion:

- People from Canada are Canadans...there is no "i" in that word.

- We sent sunny to get the other teams tickets because he's foreign and the mexican kid was in the booth.  We figured minorities need to stick together and he wouldn't be denied.

- The MGM Casino hack was discussed.  Question: were the hookers affected?  Answer: No, they were already infected.

- Jaime was discussing another player on the brewers team and said "He rubs me off..." there was too much laughter for her to finish that sentence

- Business plan: Uber emergency as a cheaper alternative to ambulances.  The user pays a higher fees and covers any traffic ticket expenses.



These tickets all showed up after the brewers drank of theirs

9/12/2023 over 40 outdoor 

Fall soccer is here.   65 degrees with a bit of a chilly easterly wind.  Another game where the brewers can't score enough goals to win.  Luckily the other team couldn't either and it ended up 1-1.  Adam got the first goal about half way through the first half by powering it through the goalie...I'm sure he'd like that one back.  The brewers had some nice breaks and got into threatening positions we just couldn't put it in the net.  The bad guys had some decent possession but only one good scoring opportunity but Dan snuffed it out.  In the second half we gave up a bad header goal on the back post.  Tim had good position but misjudged the cross and let it past to the offensive player for the finish.  


The blenders left their box of jerseys at the field.  Justin took them home is going to print penises on them before returning them.


Beer shenanigans were short as a storm blew in about 15 after we got the tix.  After giving Dion shit for missing a PK in the game before ours we retreated to the parking lot for shelter.  We once again employed the back to back tailgates with an umbrella and did fine for a bit.  Future note...this plan works better when vehicles are east and west.  Tonight we were north and south and when the heavy rain started we had a lot of rain coming from the west.  At this point we quit and just drank in our cars.  Some of us stayed in the parking lot...mark just drive off with a roadie.


Justin actually gave the blenders jerseys to the concession people...no penises will be printed.


Final note...Dan and Jaime thought the game was at 630.  We sat in the car for 2 hours waiting.  Dan looked at his fantasy football teams and Jaime took a nap.



9/5/2023 over 40 outdoor 

Ok let's do this. It was the first game of the season. It it was against one of the better teams in the league. For a while it looked like it would be a win. Then a tie and finally a loss.

The game would start and the Brewers would be two players down. On a nine on nine game they would only have seven on the field when  Wally blew the whistle to start the game.

Mark would.be the first late player to show up before the game started, when asked to "hussal a little" he would slowly quick step a few yards to show his motivation, but would not be ready before the game started.

Two of the Andy's would stroll up and put on their gear as the game started. The last Andy to show up, the Caterer, was dressed and ready to go, and dropped his bag and jumped right into the game.  Stef and the tall one took some time to get their shit together. 

Adam was also late and took some time to get his gear on, but would end up making a friend as the game went on. 

Adam would have the first shot on goal for the Brewers in the first half. It would be saved but it would be on net. For a while it seemed like that would be the best the Brewers could muster. 

The Brewers went a goal down before half. Even after Dan saved a goal with the flick of his wrist. Off a cross a player got up and put ahead ball onto foal. Dan waved his hand at it and sent the ball over the cross bar. When asked after the game he admitted he did not see the ball hit his hand but he saved the goal nonetheless. 

The first goal would be scored by the bad guys. Putting the Brewers down a goal. 

Tator would get a chance to tie the game up after receiving the ball in the box. He would make a move, spinning the defender, and beat one more before have a one on one with the keeper. With a wide open goal he would pass it just outside of the near post. Missing the goal and wanting a second chance on the missed opportunity. 

Adam would get the first goal. Lonny would pass the ball across the middle of the field and the tall Andy would let the ball through his legs, with some encouragement from the sidelines, Adam would collect it and put it home. 

Shorty after a different Andy would steal the ball from the defense and score a second goal to put the Brewers up by one. Steff would grab a bad pass and take a few touches Toward the keeper and tap the ball into the near post with the outside of his foot to put the Brewers up by one. 

Adam would be Adam and make friends with one of the opposing teams players. They guy was being overly aggressive and Adam was not ready to let him get away with it. After winning the ball from him three times in a row it seemed the game was on. Adam once again won the ball and dribbled it, longer than he should have, with this guy on his back. Adam was pushed and fouled three of four times before the ref called anything.  The next Time Adam got the ball this same douchebag decided to throw a whole into Adam's back and winning a nice yellow card. 

Tator had a few ball fall into his lap. He was wide open and a rebound ball came right out and onto his path. As would be expected, he looked at it and on his first touch he took a shot. This shot would not be anywhere near the goal and would come close to hitting a spectator in the stands. 

For a while the Brewers would be up two to one. But the second half would not be kind to them. 

Adam would put a pass through to the Tall Andy in the box. Two defenders would come into defend him, but they would colloid and both end up on the ground. The ball would slip out to Jamie and she would take the shot, but it would go over the bar......like it always does. 

There was a ugly goal in the second half that would put the bad guys up by one. Some how one of the players would split two of the Brewers in the corner and put the ball into the middle of the goal. It was cleared and put back in. In he end someone that was not a defender was turned and the goal was scored. 

At this point the game was tied, but sadly that would not last. The other team would score again..there was some miscommunication and the shorter was able to turn and put the ball into the net

The last few minutes of the game were hectic. The Brewers were down by one after an ugly goal outing the opposing team up. Adam had a last of a shot that hit the out side post. There were three corner kick in the last two minutes of the game. The closest on goal was a miss communication between Mark and tall Andy.

I'm the last few minutes the injured Bearded Andy would attempt to help speed up the game and try to run down a out of bounce ball. Two strides in he realized his good knee, now his newly bad knee, was not ready for that kind of movement. The caterer would grab a different ball on the sidelines and put the ball back in play. 

The Brewers would lose the game three to two after leading two to one for most of the second half. 

Mark would go up for a header. The attacking player would miss the death ball and hit Mark in the face. That would save a goal. 


8/29/2023 over 30 outdoor (last game of summer)

Double guest post this week

Last game of the summer session with the brewers trying to go out on a high note.  We didn't have the strongest line up as we were light on central defenders and only had 2 subs.  Somehow the good guys made it work and we came out on top 3-2.  The first goal started from a turn over outside our 18.  Jaime ended up with the ball just across midfield on the left and put a looping cross into Tator who smashed it past the keeper.  Tator would also get the second goal.  After a short build up he ended up with the ball at the top of the box with his back to the goal.  He made the turn and fired it into the lower right corner.  We then had a defensive lapse which left us 4 on 2 in the back.  Dan ended up one on one with the forward at the top of the box.  Dan was able to take the ball off his feet but somehow the ball settled right back down to the offensive players feet.  With Dan on the ground it was now left up to 3 defenders standing in front of the goal...we weren't able to block the shot.  The bad guys got the next one also on a weak foul about 25 yards out.  Our defender (Adam?) stuck a foot out on a dribbling forward and got a lot of ball but the offensive player took the tiny touch on his foot and supermanned to the ground.  He tossed a cross into the middle of the box and our defender wasn't able to keep the offense from putting in an easy header.  In hindsight, Dan wishes he would have gone out to punch the ball...or maybe the player.  The brewers quickly countered off the kick off with a pass from the inside to the outside, back inside, back outside and Jamie put a cross on the floor for Nicoli to tap through the keeper.  It was the game winner with 5 minutes left in the first half.  There were no goals in the second half.

Secondary notes from a second source. 

Tator would get into an altercation with another player. He pushed the guy to ground like he was a ragdoll and was called for a foul and then called him a "fuckin punk." It seems the other guy had his hand on Tator's back.  Tator pushed him away him and he went flying. 

Tator would also hit the post at least three times and attempt his patented 180 spring move after stealing the ball from the goalie. It should like he missed the goal completely with this shot 

Also New Jason pulled his hammy near the end of the game. She would be fine when the next session starts up. 

The Brewers ODBs would end the season with a final win and move the team into the top half of the table. Ending at number six out of thirteen teams.  


After the game there was talk of an Icelandic treat made of fermented shark that is buried in the ground for a year...and then you eat it.


Now that we have all the PC words to describe the differently able, Jaime is bringing back the word retard as it no longer has a discriminatory connotation.


If you're looking for a cozy rug, Overland in lake Geneva sells 3 inch thick sheep skin rugs that are super soft.

We managed to use about a dozen tickets from left over from our 8/1 game.  The color was slightly different but no questions were asked.


Finally, Mark told us about all the children's books he's buying for a neighbor with titles such as Go the Fuck to Sleep, Brenda's Beaver Needs a Barber, Hookers and Blow Save Christmas, and Linda's Tight Clam Needs Loosening.


8/25/2023 over 30 outdoor (last game of summer)


This was the final game of the season. It was the last chance for the Dune Pumas to get a well needed win. And win they did. It was a well played and well control 4 to 0 victory. Leave the team with five wins on the season, one tie and seven losses. This would land the team at ninth with five teams finishing below them. 


Three major injuries would also put some players on the sidelines. The Traveling Scientist would be the first to fall. Sarge would follow. Lastly The Bearded on would fall. Recover on all will be long and might keep them all out for the fall season. 


The game would start on time and under a few clouds. It was said that after the cloud front came thorough it would cool down a bit. This was a flat out lie. Not only did the sun come out again but also the humidity went up and for those on  the bench the sun would be shining right into their eyes for almost all of the game and crosses from the west would be difficult to track because of this. 


The Brewers start off controlling the ball well and would even get the first few shots close to the goal, but it took a while to score. Adam and Nic would find them self in the same position as the ball fell in the box. Both would try to shoot the ball and in the end neither of them made good contact. 


Adam would again have a chance on goal, well more like three back to back. His first shot hit a defender and bounce back to him.  The second would hit the goalie and bounce back to him. The third would hit another defender and bounce out for a corner. 


Kent would dribble the ball past a few players and have a one on one with the keeper. But instead of shooting the ball he tired to continue the dribble and take one more touch to be the keeper. This touch was a little to heavy and the ball almost went out of bounce,  but in the last moment he was able to reach it and put the ball back into play and toward Tator. Tator took the shot and a defender saved it off the line and cleared it. 


New Jason would have might be considered the shot of the game. But the keeper made an incredible save. The shot would be from around the top of the goal box and head towards the goal, just underneath the crossbar. But the goal (who was filling himself) made a pretty amazing save and punched it over the bar. 


Tator would get the first goal. With a well struck ball into the almost upper ninety from just left of the penalty spot. 


Adam would send a long ball over the defense into Kents lap. Kent would receive it just past the half line and pull it out of the air in stride. He would head toward the goal dribbling between two defenders and had a one on one with the keeper, again. This time he would not overthink the shot and he put it into the back of the goal for number two.


Half time would come and the Brewers would still be in control of the game. With a two to nothing lead.


After visiting his home land Kent came back to the states and started playing soccer again. Yet something changed. In his first game back he got a yellow. Then in the Tuesday over fourth game he got a yellow for pushing a player. And again in this game he would get another yellow. This time, like the last time, he would get hacked from behind in the box and the ref did not call a foul. So after the ball went out of play he took two steps, lowered his shoulder and leaned into the defender with some force. It was not a lot of force, and it probably looked worse than it was. Yet he was kicked out of the game for ten minutes because of it. Not sure if this is Canada's fault or just the hockey in Kent coming out during soccer games. 


Nic would get a chance on goal on a well timed through ball .he would be one on one with the keeper and decide to pass it to the keeper instead of shooting the ball. He would get redemption shortly after when he would get a goal after it bounced around in front of the goal and touch the ball last before it went into the goal for number three. 


At some point in the second half the ref would almost give up. There was a free kick for the Brewers and Mark called for a sub. He made sure the ref new it, but the opposing team decided to shoot the all as subbing was going on. The ball easily went into the back of the Brewers net. Dan did not even attempt to save it. The ref called it back and the other team was livid. But either way the goal was disallowed. There was a lot of complaining before the play started again and the ref was heard yelling at one of the other team's players that, "if you done know the rules by now I can't help you."  He would then declare that each team could sub on the fly. He just didn't care anymore. 


For the most point Dan was board during the game. There was not much for him to do. It was even joked at half that the injured Bearded One would step into the goal wearing his flats and khakis just so he could get into the game. Yet he would be asked to make a brilliant save when asked to. The ball would come in high and start to drop just under the cross bar. Dan would be able to time it just right and push the ball over the bar saving his shut out.


Adam would put the ball across the goal and into Nic's path on the back post. Nic would take a step, a hop and a skip before reaching it with his right foot. The Ball would sail over the goal and everyone would wonder why he did not us his left foot to put it home. 


But he would make amends for this when Leo crossed the ball and Nic would, after a few bounces, put the ball into the net for goal number three. 


While on the side lines Tator would start coughing. New Jason would look at him and ask if he has asthma, the reply would be "no I just took a big one......" Sarge would say something similar but cough a lot more. 


Again Adam would have a chance on goal, but this time when he hit it it went wide. So wide that it almost went out for a throw in. It was saved before it went out which should save him from some embarrassment. 


Shorty after the ball would be crossed into the box and one of the opposing team's players would jump in front of it. But he would lead with his arm and his chicken win would make contact with the ball. There was no doubt that was a hand ball in the box. Sonny would step up and shoot the ball and bury it into the back net. Yet the ref did not blow the whistle so the goal did not count. The ref wanted to get someone else to shot and yelled at Sonny. "No, next shooter." Since no one was listening to the ref Sonny stepped up and had a second chance and scored the last goal of the game. 


This is when the game got a little weird. Kent made the executive decision to put Kurt in a forward. Kurt was surprised to say the least, but his Lady Friend and his daughter were at the game so he was readyish to give it a go. He would constantly be coached by the sideline but would get his moment of glory and have a shot on goal. sonny would pass to him and the shot would be right at the keeper, but stats would show it was a shot on goal. 


Because of this move Tator was sent into the game as a defender. This is not his normal position. It is know that forwards have no idea how to play defense, but Tator held his own. He won a few good fifty fifty changes at the half line and chases down a long ball and was able to clear it before the other team got to it. 


Sonny have one last shot one goal before games end. Kent was wide open in front of the goal but Sonny would shoot it anyway. His rational was he had passed it to Kent once before, in the first half, and Kent missed. In the half time discussion he talked to Andy about it and, in Sonny's mind, was told don't pass to Kent take it in your self. So Sonny blames the Bearded One for telling him not to pass to Kent.  


The game would end and the Brewers would win.


Andy the caterer would pull out a hand full of the stops after the game. He prepared pulled pork, beans and a few other things for the last game of the season. The set up was grand and the food was great. Yet in the end a few things stood out. 


First there was the pickle wars of 2023. There were three competitors, even though no one was competing. The caterer brought two entries. He had a normal dill and a spicy pickle. To be fair he had the biggest jars. Sarge had the second biggest jars and entered his wife's pickles. Sure they were not his mom's but they were close to that quality. Adam had the smallest jar, but despite the jar size he was right in the mix for one tasty pickle. Over all Andy had the biggest pickle. 


There was the Doritos Spicy vomit chips, or better known as Pineapple Jalapeno Doritos. No on liked them but every online tired them. At the end of the night almost none of these nasty chips were left.


Jamie took Adam's massage gun so she could refresh her my muscles, but she disappeared from most conversation while using the gun. She just hung out on the back of Dan's car for a while as she..... relaxed. 


Sarge did not want to relive his cheesy sausage highlights from a year ago. When present with said sausage he would dismiss it and throw it tow the wind for the homeless of the raccoons. But one of the times he tossed it he end so up hitting Kent in the junk. Putting Sarge's sausage tip to tip with Kent's sausage. 


 Few unexplained notes. "Don't come down here I am watching porn"... "Welcome to flavor country".... "let me hit that little thing."


No one really wants to know what happened to the Caterer's truck. 


Lastly there was a hotdog brisk. The less said about that the better. 




This guy looks looks like he likes the sausage.

8/21/2023 over 40 outdoor Soccer


The Brewers played well on this Tuesday's game. Yet that would not be enough only three goal would be scored a d only one would be scored by the ODBs. 1-2


The first goal would be scored by the other team. They would do it quick and early. There was some bad defense thia time. And at some point Sonny thought he was a goalie. He pulled back from his mark and stood on the goal line only to the ball pass centimeters to his right. Possibly in reach or his foot.


Twice in the first half the Brewers would hit the post. Once by Tator and one by one of the Andys. 


The second goal would come in the second half. And once again it would be scored by the other team. This one would be a good shot and head into the goal. 


Now we get to the good one. Sonny had been shooting the ball over the goal all game. The closet he would get was a cross bar in the first half, but every shot after that was getting progressively higher. Then he got the ball near the top of the box. His back was to the goal. He would take one touch and then turn, but unlike ever other one of his shots, it would stay on the ground and slide past the goalie. I was a good shot. 


In an attempt to get a second goal for the Brewers Kent would dribble the ball into the box going past two players when he was grabbed by a third player and go to ground. The ref missed the foul and this did not make Kent happy. He got up and pushed the player the grabbed him. He was yelling, "you know what you did." And then he started yelling at the ref. Kent was pushed Tator stepped in and pushed another player in the small maylay. The flref came in and pulled a yellow card and presented it to Kent and told him to sit for five minutes. He would attempt to go back in after four and a half minutes but the ref was not going to have it and told him go off the field again. 


There would be a minor tragedy in the middle of the second half. The Bearded one would go into a fifty fifty tackle. Both players would get to the ball at the same time and the ball would stop dead, while Andy would keep going and end up on the ground. Immediately. He would know something was wrong. He rolled to his knees and realized his good knee did not feel right. As he was limping off the field one of the other players would mutter something to the effect that "that how I did my MCL." The challenge was nothing dirty, but this might be what ends Andy's soccer career. He has not gone to the doctor yet.


(Editors note: the first day after Andy could hardly walk or bend his knee. The day after that there is still pain but for the most part the lump is gone. And few notes were taken because of his injury.)


After the game Dan would not stop talking about a goal he saved in last Fridays game. He pointed out it was not in the games recap. He must have mentioned it three or four times, but still no one quite remembers the save well enough to document what happened exactly. But here it is mentioned that Dan made an amazing save....in a game the Dune Pumas lost. 


The Caterer would decide he needed more popcorn after the free beer was gone. So he got up and bought a pitcher of beer just so he could get a free box of popcorn. 


It is apparent that no one likes sweet pickles. When the topic was brought up the Caterer would turn his hand over his shoulder and spit in disgust. He did not have the some response went it was pointed out the no one likes a soft pickle either, but both facts are true facts. 



8/18/2023 over 30 outdoor Soccer

Edit: there was a posting malfunction and not all of the post was updated: it is fixed now. 


This week was an early game. Most of the time an early game would be six thirty. This week it would mean six. This made it hard to field a starting line up since a few people still though the game started at six. One of the Andy's thought the game started at six thirty, and he was even late if that was the start time. 


While warming up Adam and Sarge where talking about there asses. Maybe it was more like their hamstrings, but Sarge was wondering if Adam had brought his massage gun, but he had not. So instead the offer was extended that maybe they could rub each other's ass to work out the tension. This would come back to night both of them in the ass. 


A lot of defence was played on Friday. Most of it was good, but when more than half the game is played on the back field you know things did not go well. Let's point out that this was a loss and we will come up with a value before this post is over. Note: it was not as shutout. 


The game started with only one sub. The few mildly injured player where asked to start until others showed up. Kurt, not injured, just refused to start. He had to pee and needed a few more minutes to stretch. 


The first goal was an accident. Andy, the Bearded one, had a miscommunication with Mark. Mark was asking for help at the back post and Andy was looking at the player ahead of him. It was not a pretty goal, the cross came in and hit the offenders leg and rolled into the goal.  


Sarge would leave the game early. He reached and won the ball on a chalange and his leg would fold underneath him. He would lay on the ground for a few moments and decide he could no longer continue. He also could not walk, sit or stand. So the team decided he should no longer play soccer.....for the day. In the end it turned out he pulled his hamstring and spent the rest of the game rubbing his own ass. 


Half time came and the Brewers were down by two. No one is to blame for the second goal of the game. The Brewers only had one shot in the first half and it was not on goal. 


The second half started just the same. The defence was pressured a lot and for a while they were able to hold off the continuous assault. But the flood gates would open for a few moments and the other team would put in three more within a few short minutes. 


Tator subbed out in the second half after four goals were scored. He was heard mumbling to himself, "shitty shit fuck shit." There may also have been a few extra words in there. 


After the fifth goal Dan had had enough. One player would dribble past three to four players and score a goal. Dan did his best, but the other team would score. Dan would yell at his defense not to over commit and not to stab in after the goal was scored. 


After this he was looking for revenge and was hopping someone would come into this box on a one on one. It did not take long before Kurt made a slow pass back to Dan. The opposing teams player for to the ball first but Dan was not willing to let the ball or the man to by him. Dan did not get the ball but he did get alot of the man's leg, but there was no call and no goal. Devin would had the ball for a long time near the corner of the box expecting a penalty to be called. Dan assumes that there was no call because the ref likes him better than the other player....and because we were down five goals. 


This would lead to a foul shortly later. The player Dan fouled would decide he wanted revenge and he didn't care who it was on. Adam received the ball around half and attempted to dribble past two players, but the guy Dan took out decided to take revenge on Adam since he had the ball. Adam would get hit from behind and land hard.(seem Adam was just taking it from behind since before the game started) He would bounce back up looking like he wanted to fight. He did the Ronaldo before he calmed down. 


Dion would not calm down after three straight players in the first half fouled him. He was fouled over and over again while the Brewers tried the long ball over the top of the defense. After the third time he would look at the ref and say some choice words. The ref would show him and yellow card and tell him "take a break, I will let you know when you can come back on" Doin told the ref "you should take a break." And the yellow card was secured. 


Later in the second half Jamie would also get fouled from behind. She went up for a header and the taller player jumped up and forward, running her over. He complained, but it was obviously a foul. 


Mark would commit two hand balls in the box as he was attempting to put the ball across the goal. The first one was questionable but the second one he slapped the ball down with a defender on his back. He got the pass off and there was no call. 


New Jason just keeps getting the highlight reels. He attempted a bicycle kick in the second half. He was inside the box and got his feet over his head and made contact with the crossed ball. It did not go anywhere near the goal,  but the fact that he made contact is admirable. 


Kurt would also get fouled in the second half and it was one of the quietest he has ever been when hit. He went in for a fifty fifty ball and was able to win it, but as he touched the ball the other player hip checked him and he landed in the ball, right in his rib cage. 


The game was not a total loss. In the last minute of the game there was another foul committed near the other teams goal box. New Jason would step up to the ball and point to the far post, telling Mark to make that run. He then chip the ball towards the near post ahead of him and Dion picked it out of the air and hit hit into the goal with his laces. New Jason attributed the deception to his one semester of acting class he took in college.


After the game Jamie started to show off her legs., Before she put on her Franklin Delano Roosevelt blanket. She was showing off the start of a bruise on the back of one of her legs. She got it after blocking a shot on goal. You could see the seams of the stitching indented in her skin. Dan was impressed since according to him, "Jamie is a medium bruiser" He would know, "you don't see any marks from when I hit her." We all know that if anyone is going to be hit in that relationship it would probably be Dan. 


Nick and New Jason were talking about Teslas and how they could dance. Seems like most Teslas have a few strange features. One is Celebration Mode. Where music is being played and the car moves it doors, mirrors and flashes it's lights. It also has a sports mode called Ludacris Mode. Most people understood the reference from Spaceballs the movie, but two people at the table admitted that they did not understand why that Mode would be named after a rapper. 


For some odd reason Dan yelled, "I'm going to go Monkey on you." There are no more notes about this and that might be for the best. All we know is it was not Racist. 


A new measurement was invented on this day. That measurement would be called the "the petty measurement" and would be measured in "One Gill" increments.


Lemmewinks was brought up as a solution to Sarge's ass hurting. So was beer and an Advil. 


There was some conversation about renting a DeLorean. Not to drive but just to look at and take pictures with, while at a fancy party. It was pointed out that the Flux Capacitor looks like female reproduction organs. (I have never noticed this) some people have been calling the Capacitor the Fallopian Time Travel device or Pussy Time Travel. It was then pointed out that the fallopian tube diagram looks like a small bulls head. (I did not learn that in school)


Editors notes: I have no idea why this word is in my notes. "Thomglong" the Internet has been no help. All it pulls up is the thong song. 


While reaching for a pitcher of beer The Bearded One would come a little to close to one of New Jason's kids Barbie doll. When his hand came close to the pitcher, the little girl smacked the doll of the table and put it behind her sister. As if Andy didn't own his own dolls. 


This lead to a discussion about Barbie the movie. Seems almost no one cares to spend money to watch this movie and while growing up almost everyone that had them, Jamie, would cut their hair and pull their heads off. And no matter how much pounding they would not go back on. 


Lastly when kids come to games strange things can happen. For reasons this editor does not understand the kids were given stickers and was directed to put one in Andy's beard. What was selected? A bird, a plane, maybe even a star? No a stack of pancakes. Sure why not. Before all the stickers were gone make had one on his nose, The caterer had one on the bridge of his glasses, New Jason had earrings made of stickers and I think Sarge has one on his ass. 




Sticker fun?

8/15/2023 over 40 outdoor Soccer

Some times sports are fun. Sometimes even a loss can still be a good game. But Tuesday neither soccer not the game was fun. Sure the Brewers lost and scored two goals, but no one had fun. It was a 7 to 2 loss with four penalties awarded and taken. Only two of them went in.

Before the game the Brewers would get to the field early or at least some Brewers did, and would set up shop and warm up in the west side of the feild. The other team started warming up on the same side so that they did not have to look into the sun for the first half. In an unexpected move the ref decided (for the first time this season) to do a coin toss to decide who would kick of and chose a said. Jamie lost the coin toss and the Brewers had to switch sides and looking into the sun for the first half. This would only cause three issues when players could not see the ball....none of them lead to the many goals scored in this game .


The game started.....


With only one sub at start the Brewers were on their heels. And would shortly be scored on. 


Dan would later end up with a one on one and miss judge the play. He hissed the ball but got a lot of the attacking players leg. This would be the first penalty kick given in the game. Dan would guess right and save it. 


Another goal would be scored before the second PK was awarded. This would be the first or two penalties given up by Tim. Again Dan would step into the goal and end up intimidating the shooter. The ball went wide and Dan was two for two.  Yet the Brewers were still down by three. 


Adam would show up late and bring a little bit of energy to the team. He would get fouled in the box and like he does he would go down with a lot of fanfare. Stef would take the shot and show the other team how to take a penalty. 


The second half did not go any better.  Yet there were now three subs. 


At one point there was a player that subbed into the game, but no one is sure where he came from. He had the right color shirt and was hanging around the bench for all of the first half. Everyone assumed that he knows someone on our team and when he asked to sub the first time in the second half, the Tallest Andy said....."who the Fuck are you. No you can't sub in. Get out..." And had Mark sub in. 


The second time he subbed in and ran around for a bit. Andy apologized and they made up, but still we do not know who this kid was. He was either Mark's friend, or Sef's friend, it could have been Justin's friend (Justin was not at the game) or it could have been some guy from the other team. No one knows for sure. 


Late in the game, after it was always understood who was going to win, the other team started to show there skill. They would pass the ball instead of shooting it looking for the perfect goal. They put a few in making fools in the oldest Andy, who at one point fell on his ass after a forward made a move to his left and ended up on his ass. He subbed out right after. 


Andy Sef was able to get a second goal in the second half. He crossed the ball and it hit a defenders shin and ended up in the back of the goal. This leave him with the only two goals scored for the Brewers. 


Tim would completely foul a player in the box while the Brewers where a good three four points down. There was no need for it since it would not have made a difference in the ending of the game. He hit he guy in the leg and then pulled on his shirt to bring him down. Total foul and no arguing was going to dissuade the ref. Dan could not save this one. 


Jamie ran because Jamie always runs. Derick ran when he could and Andy....that Andy fell on his ass more than once. Adam yelled and complained....but he was fouled and he had justification for it, but he complained too much and was given a yellow card and had to sit out for most of the second half. 


Sonny did not score. He worked hard and was able to win and keep the ball at half, but he had no shots on goal. But he tried and he worked hard. 


The game was so bad that few wanted to hang out after the game for a few beers. In total only five players stuck around on only four drank beer. Sarge was the responsible one having a good old fashion root beer. 


There was some talk and some banter. We all know Sonny told a strange story about how cheap houses and land are in Africa. And how Nicolas Cage bought a house in a well to do neighborhood but never stayed there. Well maybe he did a few times a year..... We do not call this gentrification. Past that we are not sure what the point of his story was. Maybe something to do with his uncle or father or guy bought a lot of land on a river and was able to break it up and sell most of it at a profit. 


After that we learned a little history about Boston. A few years ago...or maybe a hundred or so years ago there was a molasses incident. Or as it is know on Wikipedia, Great Molasses Flood. Seems like a few hundred people died because of this. 


There was also a beer flood that did almost the same thing in London a 100 years before the Boston flood. Fewer people died in that. 


Seems Sarge as a new and intriguing was of training new employees. He may not have done this him self, but his suggestion was to make that new employee my bitch. Set ground rules and make sure they understand who is top hoe or bottom bitch. 


With that I will point out it did. It rain this game. Three soccer nights in a row rain has ended a game or drinking early. 


Hippo therapy might be a thing. Now as we all would have thought this has nothing to do with hippos. Turns out you do not ride hippos in this therapy. If you don't you would ride a horse. Hippotherapy is not as cool as it sounds but it helps a lot of people. 




8/11/2023 over 30 outdoor Soccer


Friday was a good and a ruff game. Sure it was a win and for a while it looked like a strong win. But in the end the Brewers through away a 4 to 1 goal lead in the second half. Yet would still come out with the win.  It would end our 6 to 5. 


It was a early game starting at 6:15. Both teams struggled to get a full eleven on the field before the ref started the clock. The Brewers got eleven at the start and the other team started with eight. 


Many of the Brewers would be forced to play a full ninety minutes of the game since we only had twelve plays in total.  There were a few times that someone asked for a sub only to be told. "No, I just came off."


Only one goal would be scored while the Brewers had a few men advantage. 


Jamie would leave the game at half to take a dump. But it must have helps since she score a goal in the second half. 


New Jason made a triumphant return to the Dune Pumas with two goals. He work hard and made a lot for helpful runs and found him self in a place to strike a long one home from just outside of the box. 

 

Mark would also get two goals. One was a simple tap in, but in the second half he was able to will his way into scoring his second goal. The ball would get crossed in and would hit Mark, the goalie, another player, some else, maybe some else again and Mark would end up tapping the ball through those mess and put the ball in the back of the net. 


Shirtless Nick would also get a goal in this game. While new Jason would admire the lack of sleeves on his shirt. 


Turns out new Jason did not move away and out of town. Seems he was trying to be a responsible adult and spend time with his family and finished up schooling and residency. Basically forgetting how much fun soccer was. 


Jaimie, in the second half, would impress the opposing teams bench a few times during the game. She would completely destroy a player and the opposing bench would cheer. When she did a back heel pass the bench went crazy. 


Mark was very helpful after the game, as he was during the game. Dan grabbed a new beer l, but was in a conversation with his wife and did not have a chance to put his koozie on to the can. Mark would see this and picked up the beer and dressed it with Dan's Duff man Koozie before anyone noticed. 


The night ended with rain. Just as everyone was running out of beer the sky's opened up with enough rain to force everyone to leave. There were no parking lot beers to be drank. 


No other after the game notes were taken. 




8/8/2023 over 40 outdoor Soccer


Another day another close win. The Brewers would control the game for all of two minutes. But would end up winning 6 to 5. But if I remember correctly it was just 4 to 3.


For all of the first half the OBDs had the game in hand. By half it was three points do the good guys. 


Andy the caterer did not have his best game of the season. Twice he took a swing at the ball and missed it entirely. Once was while playing defense and in the box. But Dan had it sorted out and asked the question. "Are you drunk?" 


Jamie had a good head ball off a cross. She was completely unmark and put a perfect ball into the net 


Yet some place in the second half things when wrong, and it was not Andy's fault. Three goal came I two minutes. It's not like anything was wrong with the defense at the time, but there was some poor communication and close to the end of the second half the game was still tied. 


Thankfully on last goal would be scored at the end of the game putting the Brewers ahead and winning. It would come from a cluster fuck in front of the goal. Tator would get a good look at the ball and shoot it and it would hit the post. It would come back at the goalie and two of the defenders would run into each other and as Tator was falling he would hit the ball forward with his arm and the ball would slowly go over the line for the winning goal. 


Notes that should have been posted over the last week when there was no post or recap. It will be pointed out that it was a bad week for recaps and things will be back on track for the last few games of the season. 


Adam had to go home to check on his pussies. 


Last Friday Kent had to go home early because he had a big day of shopping and had hit up Bed Bath and Beyond. 


Sarge did not eat the sausage on Tuesday but he kept teasing it and Andy kept playing with it. There may be a video showing all of this. 


Sonny found a lot of tickets and because of the rain we were not able to drink all of them. 


Sarge yelled at some kid last Friday while the Bearded one was in goal. It was near the end of the game and the ball went out for a goal kick. Not only was Tator yelling and Andy not to run to get it but Sarge yelled at a kid not to touch the ball. The little girls was a bit scared and took a few steps back and eventually walked away from the ball. 


Someone asked about Sonny's grandma Windsor. 


At the end of Friday's game Sarge put his arm around Frenchie and asked how his face was. 


Also on Friday Kent clear the guy out and then off the ball moments. Later the guy pushed Kent down. No call was made on either of these plays. 


In re cap of last few games. Win in Friday (with Andy in Goal) and win on Tuesday. 2 to 1 and then 6 to 5. 




7/28/2023 over 30 outdoor Soccer

Not much good can be pulled out of Friday's game. Yet in the five nill lose it can be pointed out that the Brewers tied the second half, at nill nill. No one needs to point it it was cut short due to thunder that was a good ten miles out and going away from us. No the Brewers played better in the second half. That is what we are going with. 


To start it was not so bad. There were some passes and some chances....and them a few mistakes. Two of witch lead to a goal or two.  One hit the cross bar and landed in the opposing teams lap. A back pass....or two went poorly and Justin full on his face while making cartoon noises as he tiptoed along the side lines trying not to step out of bounce. Mark saw. Andy saw. 


Justin would also hear something that only one Andy heard. An  opposing team member yelled out, "someone mark Beardie."  They did and the Bearded one was fouled. 


Yet before Justine went into the goal to finish of of the game he as seen megging three players. He would point this out s few times before everyone went home. 


Dan would come out of the goal and attempt to relive the glory days of indoor, when he comes out of the goal and played forward. Then score a hat trick before the end of the game. It would not have helped in this case but he did not score. He also did not pass to one of the two open players during a last minute attack. He would say neither of them was open, but both were mostly open. One more than the other. 


Sarge would make a friend this game. There was a change that had nothing to do with him. One of our team mates went if for a ball and ended up getting a whole lot of player. The foul was called, but one other the other teams players started to argue with Sarge. Sarge said it was not a foul and the other player started yelling back at him. "Ya you should talk Sarge" "why don't I kick your ass old man." Sarge did know know this guy, yet moments later that guy would put a knee into Sarges stomach,.which the ref did not see and say Sarge fouled him. Sarge took the high road and said nothing. 


In a moment of temporary brilliance, the Pumas would have a chance at goal. The ball would be put across the goal on into Marks path towards the right of the goal box. As he went up to collect it he was hip checked into the ground and landed in the box. Yet the ref decided to put in on the line and make it a free kick instead of a penalty. The shot/cross was not even put into play. It went well over the goal....and maybe wide as well.


Sarge would do his best to give a handball in the box to the other team. It is said his hand was at his side, but his shoulder and upper arm jut jutted out like a chicken wing. The ref ignored it and nothing was called. 


Derick would have a chance but he would panic, chip the ball and then fall on his ass.  He would miss just a little wide. 


New Mark would make an impression. He would go in for challenge and end up cornholing his opponent with a knee to the ass. 


It hardly rained during the game, but there was a strong chance of severe weather. Sure there was some rain and lightning in the distance, but nothing crazy. Yet that was enough to bring back the idea of building the flex seal boat just in case the skies opened up. Sure it might not float as well as a cardboard canoe, but it would look the part. 


Kent would get the MVP of the game. Becasue while the drinking team was as the Brewers started to run out of tickets he had a great idea. He had heard that one or two teams forfeited and did not come to play. That left a hand full of tickets unclaimed. So he sent his minions up and get at least three other teams tickets. Yet things would back fire. The rain would come and not all the coupins were used. 


At the end of the night the last few Brewers were asked to move it to the parking lot because apparently the employees wanted to go home. Dan would point out to her that "we have enough hands we can do it in the parking lot." 


Then the rain came. First it was not so bad. But it got worse and there were a few cans to go. It started with people handing out under two different cars tailgates. Then there was some planning. In a bold strategy the idea of reverse docking was proposed. Put two cars ass to ass with both tailgates open. Add an umbrella in the mix and everyone stays mostly dry and the rain started to go away. 


Kent would have none of this and call an Uber to get him home. Even though he has come up with a plan to get not only one teams tickets, but four teams tickets. He would be picked up as the rain started to get bad again by a small windowless transport van. More of a cargo van. A white cargo van. We were all happy to get an email from him a few days later. Turns out he's fine and got home safe. 


There was a lot of water in the parking lot and a few good streams flowing to the drains. A few cans were tossed into those flows to see how far they would go. One made in halfway back to concessions. Other was run over by Sarge. 


It did not last, neither did the beer. As the beet ran out the rain got worse and finally the drinking team broke and attempted to leave the scene. That's when the sky's really opened up and even the shortest walk to you car socked you to the bone. 


It was so bad that Sarge had to pee out his car door and Andy held a blanket over his body to stay somewhat dry. 


Random comment of the night. "If it's just for fun it's not incest." The editor is so happy no one knows who said this. 



7/25/2023 over 40 outdoor Soccer


Tuesday's game with the ODBs was nothing to write home about. It was a loss, a big loss and for a while it looked like it was going to end with nothing to say, but that is not the case. It was an ugly 2 to 10 loss. 


The first half went bad. No a single goal was scored by the Brewers. The first goal scored was against them and within two minutes of the game. 


Lonnie would be part of two noticeable plays in the game. The first he would pull down an attacking player in the box. It is said he pulled on the forwards arm and he would go down without trying to stay on his feet. This was in the box and would end up being a penalty. Dan second guessed himself and went left but his first thought was to stand his found in the center of the goal....which is where the ball end going....straight down the middle. 


Passes would not connect. The best that could be done was two passes before it was given away to the other team. That was the best that would come out of the first half. 


Lonnie Lottington would only play the first half of the game and would leave to go play with his other team. 


Tactics would occasional change in the second half. The passing started off just as poor as it had I. The first half, but for a while something changed. 


One man would change the game for five minutes. One man would be part of two goals. (Even if only indirectly) on bearded man would change the game for five minutes as he pushed out of the back field and work with Sonny on the right side of the field. 


The Brewers would score their first goal half way through the second half. They where already down by 7 at this point, but pride would not let them quit. It started with a pass to Sonny while he was playing out side mid. He would receive the ball and see Andy the bearded one running from the center of the field and heading forward. He would get the ball near the side line and start heading towards the goal box. Sonny would stay in the play and head forward and received the ball near the corner and attempt and attempt s cross. It was blocked and went out for a Brewer corner. 


The Caterer would put the ball into the box. Take a ricochet off a defender and fall into Mark s (OJ) foot. He would calmly strike the ball through traffic and into the back of the next. Splitting the keeper and the last man. 


Not may plays later the Tall Andy would pull the ball out of the air and with one touch put it to Sonny near the half on the side line. Once again he would find the Bearded one down the line and both of them would make the same play as before. But this time Sonny would get the cross off. The ball stayed on the ground and founds it's way into the box where the Bearded One would go in to fifty/fifty ball and strike it with the inside of his right foot and hammer the ball into the back of the net. 


Later on there would be another corner taken by The Caterer. His team mates just yelled at him to put in on frame. Put it into the box. He hit the cross and it went backwards toward the half line and almost went out of bounce. It was saved by Sarge before it went out for a throw in on the Brewers defensive side of the field. 


Sonny and the Bearded One would both make carpentry jokes, saying "I'd never want you to work on my house." And Sonny yelling, "maybe I should ask someone else to help me frame my window." Both bad and punny at the same time. (Punny is not misspelled)


Sonny would have another chance in goal before the game ended. He would get a ball behind the defense and have a clear run at the keeper. The defense had given up and he was one on one. Yet he would decide to strike the ball early and put it over the goal. Once again Sonny did not score. 


The Bearded one would also get another chance at goal, but after getting past his mark he would start to lose his footing as he ran and would take the shot just inside the goal box. The ball was hit with the out side of his foot and would be goal but was easily pick up the by the goalie. Andy would then fall over and find him self on the ground. 


Dan would have a few good save in the game, but his favorite was when he went in on a fifty/fifty ball. He got there first and with one hand palmed the ball as the striker went in for the shot. The forward would make good contact, but Dan would not let the ball go anywhere. He made the save and pulled it in with only his right hand. That is some good hand strength.


The game would finally end and other than these things, nothing good was mentioned after this. 


There was no one to blame, but everyone did bad things. Yet it is to be noted, the Brewers may not have won this game even if they would have been at their best. But they scored two goals. 


Andy, The caterer, would try to redeem himself after the game by attempting to through out an empty popcorn box. Once again as he tried to put it into the trash can he missed. It did not even hit the frame. 


The team revised a few of the good old sex positions that were mentioned on Friday. The Bow Tie and the Cleveland Steamer where joined by the old favorites like the

Blumkin and the rusty trombone. Now if you do the rusty trombone before taking a shower after soccer would be called a tarnished trombone.  New one's were introduced. There is the Cleveland train, the a African train and the Sonny train.....for some reason Sonny really likes trains. I hope he knows what a train means..


People also started sharing some the the strangest name they have heard. La Dasha spelled LA- . Asian parts naming there kids John Doe and Jain Doe. One of our Australian friends gave us kid the middle name Danger. He might be the only kid in the world that can truly say "it could be dangerous but danger is my middle name." There was quiet mention of the names, wins named Lawasha and Ladrya. 


Eating salsa on the couch with tightly whites. Mark. 


Mark would finish off the conversations with his love of salsa. He likes to sit in his living room in his tighty whities, eating that high class Tostito or Chi-Chi's salsa, shirtless. He wouldn't need a napkin. He would just let it fall on his chest and stain his salsa speedos. When done just jump in the shower and be done with it. This man is all class and we love it. 


At last call the Brewers found them selves with 14 tickets, seem Jamie just happened to spot the name of the team that never picks up there tickets after their game. She asked for them and, to everyone surprise was given them. For the first time the Brewer found themselves with more beer than they could drink in the time allotted. So Jaime picked up four of them and handed them to another team. 


That still left the ODBs with a handful of parking lot beers. 


While I the lot some one got onto a motorcycle and started to ride it out of his parking space and across the lot to be with his team. When he stopped he proceeded to dump the bike, yet his friends still let him drive it home. We all hope he is ok. 



This is what the soccer game looks like on the right and on the left is what the game after the game looks like. Someone forgot to turn his garmin watch on after the game.  To be noted: this was a 9v9 game that was only played on half of the full size feild. 

7/21/2023 over 30 outdoor Soccer


The Dune Pumas had a good game. They did not lose and they did not win. Yet that was a win in it's self. The face that not a single Brewer had a bad game was the win. Score 2 to 2. 


This is not to say that some players felt like they were not at their best. A few Pumas felt as if they did not play up to their standards. No one cared. Everyone did what was needed and there were no major errors. So much so that the team was reluctant to hand out the award for the Rented Mule, but that will be revised later. 


The first goal was against the Brewers in the first half. It started with a bad pass. The ball was passed back but was a bit weak and ended up laying between four players. Two Brewers and two attaching players. The ball was picked up by the opposing team and immediately won back and cleared. Unfortunately the ball was cleared right into an opposing team and back towards the good guys goal. They may have been in an off sides position, but it was not a forward pass and was not called. They had a free shot on the goal and Dan was in no position to save it. No one was completely responsible for this, but Andy, the bearded one subbed out right after the goal thinking he could have done better.


This goal was disappointing since there had been a lot of good chances at goal before this. Justin chipped the defence to give Nic a good chance one goal. Jason had a good opportunity but missed a bit wide. Nic would also press the defence and get an chance. 


There was a questionable slide by the other team near the bed of the half. Devin was not happy that it was not call and let the ref now.


As the first half ended the Brewers did feel like they were on there heels a bit. Dan mand some food save but had a hand full of shit on him as the half would end. 


First half ended with the Brewers down by one. 


Yet at this point Devin, and a few other Brewers, would revisit the side tackle and let the ref know a about there disapproval of the lack of call while resting. Nothing was gained or lost with this exchange and the game went on. 


The second half started as the game started. The Brewers would work the ball out of the back and into the midfield. From there it would find the corners and end up in some kind of shot. But for a while nothing would go in. 


Then a cross was put into the box and Tator would get a little touch on it, but not put it on goal. He did direct it into the path of New Mark who hit it one time and put stuck the ball just under the cross bar. The keeper was able to get his hand on it, but the power of the shot was enough to spin it's way up and under the cross bar and into the next. 


Shortly after that goal, Andy the Caterer would make a run out of the defence and down the left side. He would pass the ball and get it back as he went to the corner. He would beat the outside defender and cross the ball. Adam would be on the receiving end of that and make good contact. Yet it would sail millimeters wide of the near post. On lookers would be quoted after that, "he would like to have another look at that one." Adam on the other side of that thought he could taste that goal. 


Not long later Tator.would get a long ball that would bounce in front of the keeper. Not sure who it came from, but but Tator would get him self airborne and half volley the ball past the keeper and into the goal. Putting the Brewers up two to one. 


There were a few moments after that that need mentioning. The outside right mid on the other team was always being yelled at for being in the wrong position. He would creep into the middle and be told to be wide. The ball would go to the middle and he would ask if he would have been inside. 


One of the forwards on the other team would hit the ball with his hand while he was offsides. He did not stop it he just put his hand in the air to nick it and stop the play. Sure there was no advantage either way but it was a dick thing to do. 


Sadly the game would end in a tie. The last goal was a well struck ball from our side the box. Dan got his hand on it but would not stop it. That would tie up the game. 


Honorable mentions in the game would be Nic. He was playing forward and doing his best to disturb the defense. He forced as lot of defensive errors and just cause a lot of errors from them. He ever tracked back a few times behind his own defenders to win the ball and move it back into the offensive side of the pitch. 


Play of note. Andy, the bearded one, recorded the call in the attacking third of the field from Mark, John, or OJ. While looking for something to do with it all he heard was. Don't pass it to me. He looked up and saw Mark wide open and way off sides. With nothing else presenting it self Andy took the ball towards Mark and beat the defender that was marking him. He made it to the end line and closed the ball. Tator would through his body at it in an impressive diving header but would miss by an inch. It is to be notated that it was an impressive effort. 


The game ended in a tie of twos. But no one thought the game was lost and it felt like a good performance. So much so that the Rented Mule Award went to Kent, for not being able to play, and the Ref for missing a hand full of fouls. 


One of those was from Mike who also performed a slide tackle that was not called. There was a hand ball or two missed and a few missed offsides. One of the offsides calls made as wrong. The ref made the call but Sarge was keeping the attacking play on. 


At one point the other team was not winning any goal kick. We would put the ball into the air and it would be wonderful by a Brewer. But not just any Brewer. In the second half someone on the opposing team would yell, "who is winning these long balls?" And the Breaded on would respond with, "Justin" because Justin was winning almost every ball in the air and some on the ground. 


Agreed this is getting a bit long but now to the third half of the game. 


There is such a thing as the thunder cougar. It might be a reference to Kurt and his new girlfriend. He calls her a cougar but he is fifty....and sent most cougars the same age as Kurt?


The Caterer had an upside down mustache on his water bottle. Sarge could not resist and after looking at that asked, "upside down mustache would like a sex act." After an extensive search that does not seems to be a thing. The closed found was a reverse mustache that a man mounts a girls face backwards and dangles his balls right above her upper lip and below her nose.


This would lead I to some other things Jamie and a few others have not heard before. 


There is the upper decker. Which we all know is taking a shit in the toilet tank of an unsuspecting friend? 


The hot plate that has you taking shit on your partners face and then sitting on it. 


Moving on to the Boston Pancake which might be shitting on her chest and sitting on it. 


But while doing that if the shit stain looks like a bow tie it will be called a Cincinnati bow tie. Because the shape looked like.....yes a bow tie. 


A lot of shit was talked in the after game. It then let to what few people know. A hot plate. What is a hot plate? Trust me you should not have asked. You....or someone... Takes a shit on a plate. Put aluminum foil over it and puts it in someone's refrigerator. It looks like leftovers but it is not. The more advanced move is to rap it with cellophane and move one. 


Now Jamie's reaction to the Action called blumpkin was priceless. When it was was said she made the mistake of asking why it was. When briefly explained. She looked at Dan and mouth wide open with surprise said nothing. Adam was also surprised at the definition. Look it up. It will not be described here. This site has standards. 


Turns out half out team does not know what Doorknob, with the out of safety. Sarge was amazed that a few people knew about this. But not everyone. If you don't know Sarge knows and Jamie now knows and every time she hears the word safety she hit Dan. 


Shirtless Nic would suggest one thing for all the farts and weed smell coming out of this team. Nag Champa. It is more powerful than patchouli oil and no one will know what is going on in the bathroom. 


A new conspiracy theory has been introduced to the club. The reason the new over thirty teams are so good is because of milk. The milk is different from what we have been drinking while growing up. Now it has hormones and that new GHB additive. That is why this team has only won two games and tied one. 


Lastly and I do not feel good about this....but Sarge's wife could use a few cucumbers. Turn south you should not squeeze them, but they make good pickles..


Editors note: while driving home.i took Green Bay Road to Silver Spring to make sure I could get onto i43. (No one ever knows if the good hope one ramp is open while construction) while heading down Green Bay a car was heading right at me in the right lane. This is a two lane device road and they were on the right side of the divide. Even with two cars behind me they didn't not notice and went right past their next opportunity to get on their side of the divide. I just pull over and let them pass. 





7/14/2023 over 30 outdoor Soccer



It was a dark and cloudy night. The Dune Pumas played the late game under the lights. There was a little rain in the air but no real threat of storms, or so everyone thought. Two different kinds of storms would end the game early with a 3 to 0 win for the Brewers. 


Kent, being the leader he is, would step up and score the first goal. The Brewers were pressing the defenders as they tried to get to get the ball out of the back. They messed up and passed the ball across the top of the goal box. Kent would be there to body the player off the ball and take it into the box. He would do the ol Shimmy Shammy on three more defenders and the goal keeper to to put his team on the board. He could have passed it to the Traveling Scientist, but instead used him as a decoy. 


The game was going well at this point. For the most part Dan did not have much to do. The opposing offence only had one move and they attempted it a lot. They would try to beat the old man's defense with speed, but the threw ball never worked. Either is was quickly pick up by Dan or it went way to long for anyone but the defense to get to. 


The second goal would be mostly forgettable. Justin would finally get a chance to play his true position in midfield. He would go on to have one good pass and the second goal. No one quite remembers who passed him the ball or if it was passed to him at all, but he would neatly put the ball into the net. 


Tator would end up getting the Rented Mule Award after the game. It was not for one play. The first came early in the first half. He was full sprint going for a fifty/fifty ball against the keeper. When he got close he slipped on the wet turn and ended up sliding into the keeper. It was obvious it was a accident and the ref did not give him a card. The keeper was ok, but this would be the catalyst for thing to come later in the game. 


The second reason he was handed this Award came in the second half. He was given a perfect through ball with only one person to beat and a perfect line towards the goal. He would take one touch, then over run the ball and trip over it. As he does he got up quickly. The ball was collected by the other team and Tator really wanted the ball back. He went full speed towards the player and just as the ball was passed away he hit him and knocked him off his feet. He did not slip this time. He still did not get a card. 


Lastly he had another altercation with the defense. The ball was crossed into the box and Tator went in for the ball and was fouled from behind, in the box. The other team did not agree with the call. They thought Tator was the aggressor and complained to the ref. Tator did the right thing and left the field and took a sub, but in his way out the other team just kept jawing with him. This is went things went sideways. Tator laughed and waved as he was walking off. He knew it was a penalty and knew the Pumas rarely miss them. Yet this infuriated the other team and there bench walked over to the Brewers bench and pushing and yelling continued for a few minutes. 


Sam would step up and score the penalty. He hit it harder than he needed to, but he proved a point. 


The game got a little out of hand for a while. There were a few tough changes and some other altercations through out the game. The Brewers handled it well but the other team complained constantly. There was yelling, swearing, a lot of anger and many many Spanish words direct to both the Brewers and the other team. There was a lot of yelling. 


At half the warning was given that the other team was going to "cum all over us" and be careful not to get hit. The game didn't get dirty but I was getting close. 


In the end the came was called early because of lighting in the distance. That was probably for the best. Over the last few minutes after the third goal the game was starting to get a little chippy and it was only a matter of time before the other team did something that could have hurt someone. 


Kurt was instrumental in this win. He had parenting duties and was not able to pay this week. 


Brian would have scored if Kent would have passed him the ball. Just once. The Travelling Scientist is always open. 


A store was told about Emo betting up his husband like Hope Solo did back in the day. No one needs more details than that. 


Sunny did not score. But he did have an important question about his basement walls. He was wondering if he should use drywall or plywood to finish his basement. Sadly the Caterer was not at the game to give him some advice, because why would you use plywood to finish anything. But in the end Sunny always finishes. 


Few people heard what Adam said, but everyone heard the question after he said it. "Do you have to go to confection to your priest because of what you said." 


I have no idea what he said but it seems Adam once helped lay some carpet in a church once. 


And yet a new bar name was created Hookers and Honkers. The Brewers really need a club house. 



7/11/2023 over 40 outdoor Soccer

The Brewers ODBs won. It was a four to one win. What a game. 


It took a minute or a few to get the first goal, but that goal would not come from a forward. No. It would come from the back field. Tator took the ball to the corner and passed the ball into the middle of the field. He may have missed his pass to Jaime, but The Caterer made a run out of the back and received the ball just out side the box and place the ball low and wide passed two defenders and the goal keeper. 


Kent would get the next goal. He was selfish and dribbled past two or three players and was able to keep the ball long enough to find and opening and score the second goal. He would also hit the post later in the game on a one on one with the keeper. 


Another Andy would score before the half ended. Stef would get a ball and go head to head with the keeper. The keeper went down but did not get the ball and Andy passed it neatly into the back of the net. 


The half would have end. And Mark, the birthday boy, would pull out some orange slices for the team. Everyone thanked mother OJ for the half time snack. It reminded us of simpler times. But a mistake was made....the oranges were pealed. 


The second half did not go as well as the first. The opposing team got the next goal of a cross. The ball sailed to the far post and the tallest guy on the field was able to pick it out of the air and put it past Dan. No one is to blame her, I don't even think the guy jumped to win the header. 


From here the Brewers changed their strategy a bit. The caterer would take every goal kick and nearly put it into the other teams penalty box every time. It gave the team a lot of chances but did not lead to any goals. Not until Kent again decide to score with little help from the rest of this team. 


The game would end a little later than one of the Brewers would have liked. The finally Andy had a chance to score late in the game he made a great over lap and received the ball from Tator and took a few touches toward the goal. It was one on one with the keeper with Kent streaking years the far post. Not sure what happened from here, but the Breaded on looked at the goal, then Kent and finally the keeper and softy hit the ball straight up, over the goal and a little bit wide right. The intention was to pass the ball to the far post. If he had missed Kent would have cleaned it up. The biggest mistake on the attempt was that he did not use the out side of his right foot to hit the ball. 


Andy subbed right after the miss and before he made it back to the bench the final whistle blew. 


Game ended 4 to 1. 


We are all a little disappointed in Kent Jemima for not being back some of that good Canadian maple syrup for the team to dip their fingers in. At least Sarge occasional brings pickles and pickles juice to help keep the team healthy. 


Sure most of us know it was not marks birthday, maybe it was OJs, but not only did he bring orange slices for half time he brought the best snacks for after the game. There were moon pie, something else that Jason eat three of and little HUGs drinks. Joe would also take three moon pies home with him for breakfast with his coffee. 


After we all had some snacks and the beer started flowing nostalgia took over the conversation. It started with talk of hostis ho hos, peeling the chocolate layer of some kind of cake, nutter Buddy's, and hostess apple pies. These last things, and the old McDonald's apple pies, seemed to have a wake coding over them that made them last forever. 


Nostalgia continued as the conversation want to old TV shows..the list got crazy long: Lids Vil, Puff the magic dragon, Knight Rider, Buck Rogers, Airwolf, Silk Stockings, MacGyver, Josie and the pussy cats, Miami Vice, Buck Rogers, Battlestar Galactica, The Tracy Allman show, The bugaloos, The Equalizer, Matlock, Hill Street Blues, Dallas, General Hospital, Magnum P.I, Sigmund and the Sea Monster, bosom buddies, silver spoons, family ties, Webster, who's the boss, facts of life, St. Elsewhere, twin peaks, lone ranger, Superman and flash Gordon. .......it went on for about a half an hour like this. 


Two saying came out after this conversation. Seems like old lady's like to take about Tom Selleck in ways no one but there sons would know. The two saying are "he could park his boats under my bed any day." And paraphrasing, "He could wash his socks in my coffee any day." (I  hope I got these right)


While discussing our game and one of the forwards on the other team, the question was asked: "is he right footed or left footed?" The answer came back, "he doesn't even know."


Turns out Dan needs some practice on taking goal kicks. When he takes them they barely make it out of the half. He knows this and blames one old injury for it. Jaime took him out to practice once...it did not help..so the suggestion was to make it fun. Like when golfers hit biodegradable balls into the water. Dan would get a bunch of biodegradable soccer balls and start kicking them into lake Michigan. Not only would he get better but the balls would also help build a natural reef just of shore. The only issue that would be seen from this 'practice' would making sure not to harm the fresh water octopuses in the lake. They only inhabit the ten to 20 yards around where Dan would be kicking the ball, so if they become extinct it would be all Dan's fault.


There was milk talk. Seems like some major professional athletes drink breast milk to get juiced up. Of cause Sunny would being this up. It also seems like men with kids have also tried breast milk. The consensus is there are a few ways to do this. One is by accident and you get it from the source the other is just grab some white stuff from the refrigerator and drink it. The comment after that last one was "I don't drink white stuff."


Lastly it would be noted that Mark washed his hands before he bought a round of pictures, also before he stirred it with his finger. 


And lastly again. While drinking our final beers in the parking lot and once again throwing out empties on the ground for the homeless. One of the girls that bar tends was leaving to go home. As she walked by The Bearded One decide to ask the group, "we should tell her to come back and pick up all these cans and clean up after us, it's her job right?" For reason unknown this was crazy funny. The Caterer started laughing so hard that beer started coming out of his nose. 


Editors notes: there was a lengthy discussion of bull semen. That did not make the cut this week. If you have any interest in such things you can always go to ABS's web site. They have the best bulls. 


But since we are on the topic of jacking off bulls. I would like to point out that Joe worked at the zoo. He did not jack off the monkeys as the team would have thought. Hell we are not sure what he did there, could have janitor or guard. Yet he was a witness to the jacking off of a black rhino. (Third racist thing said Tuesday night) He did point out three things: he could not look away and kept watching as it happened, a big plastic bag was used by the 'handler' and there was a lot of cum in the bag afterwards. 


Last two words here are going to be squirt and crank. Both used while talking about bulls and rhinos. 





Side note: Andy, the Bearded One, would calmly say, "i am going to take these three beer coupons up with these two 20% off kohls coupons and bring back five beers." Mark did not believe this was going to happen, but it did. Andy went up and told the bartender exactly what he had told his friends he was going to do and she gave him the five beers. 

Brewers helping the homeless one empty beer can at a time.

7/7/2023 over 30 outdoor Soccer


Another Friday game another loss. This time under a gray sky and a bit of light rain.  1 to 6. 


It started off poorly a few days before the game. The email went out and a chorus of nos started flooding in. Kent panicked as he should and start to put feelers out. The normal subs would not make it and the count fell at just enough to fill the field. Then he found three more players. None of which has played with the Dune Pumas before. Yet the Brewers out a team on the field a d played. 


We are not going to go into every goal. But let's do some quick lowlights from the game. 


The first goal against was scored of a dead ball. The bearded Andy put a lazy tack one a forward. He won the ball but ended up tripping the other guy. The contact was across both knees. It was just out side. The ball was passed and shot and some how went through Dan's hands. Unfortunately the rain had not started yet. 


Early in Sumair, a fill in, made a move on one opponent around half field. He beat one player and then put the ball a little too far in front of him. While trying to catch up he fell and rolled into an attacking players. The other team wanted it to be a card. They said he slide and took out the player. He fell and he fell In front of the Brewers bench. (Of course no one said anything about the incident)


The Brewers still had chances and held the ball on the attacking third quite a lot and even had a few good shots. Not sure the keeper was test all that much, but there were chances. 


Sonny blew one of these chances when he was one on one with a defender just inside the penalty box. I guess the ball went over a white line (the penalty box) and Sonny thought it had gone out of bounce, so he picked up the ball. At half time he was asked about it. He had not explain and there was not explanation other than  "because stupid." This alone got him a nomination for The Rented Mule. 


The caterer got the ball at half field. He decided to dribble. He beat one person and put another behind him. He than made a move on the third and found the ball a little behind him and fell trying to control it. When he looked up he found he had fallen right in front of the Brewers bench. (Of course no one said anything about the incident)


Sonny would then go on to have a hat trick of misses in this game. The last of which earned home the Rent Mule Award. He got the ball in the last third of the field and was able to get behind the defense. It was just him and the goalie. Sonny made not move and shot the ball as he entered the eighteen and skied it a few yards over the goal. He was not happy getting the shirt and refused it on the first attempt but he ended up going home with it. 


Knowing, mid second half, that the Brewers where down two to zero the Dune Pumas started to press. There where a lot of good shots and some impressive passing through the midfield, but while doing so two quick break always would put he Brewers down by four to zero. 


Even though it rained a bit and shirtless Nic was not seen with out his shirt off, he still made an impact on the game. The Caterer put in a well placed cross from a corner kick. As the ball came in threw defenders around Nic jumped, Nic just followed the ball and was able to bring it down with his Head and Shoulders and put the ball into the goal. Adam followed it in threatening steal the goal but the goal would be Nick's. 


New Louis, one of the subs would play outside defianse while in the game. He was able to cause the forwards and midfields some trouble. It was pointed out that one of the goals was his fault. He accepted this and then pointed out that one of the goals was also my fault. So there is that. He would also get tossed from the game with the yellow card with less than ten minutes to go. This was a great way to introduce him self to the Brewers defense since it seems to be a right of passage on this team. 


The game ended in disappointment and judgment. But there was free beer to be had and even the light drizzle would not keep the Brewers from the after game. 


A few Brewers attempted to go inside and drink indoors, but apparently Adam got every one kicked out. Either he decided to piss on the floor this time or it was because last one he shit in the floor. No one asked further questions as we stood in the rain. 


The rain also brought out Sonny's nipples. The looked like they wanted to pop out of his shirt. He is a young forty and some one wondered what would happen in a few years when his nipples started to sag in ten years. 


Nick has Penis Envy. Andy....one of them ... only has a little Penis Envy.


Steven, another fill in, scored abandoned water bottle, a nice one it seems, but maybe a bit easy. He had three fingers through the to handle loop when people looked over. When presser about it he said, "just seeing how many fingers I could put in this thing." Dan them decided that Steven was not a Dune Pumas at this point. 


While watching the last game of the night a few spectators decided to have a race on the side line of the main field. Three races, two in jeans decided to do a beer in had race from the corner flag to half. One of them slipped and will a good deal.of bear on him and another runner. No one cared who won. 


The Caterer's nemesis is sand, just like Anakin Skywalker.....it gets I you food, your tent, it gets every where. 


One of the notes found from the drinking teams is not going to get any explanation. Instead the note will be posted with no explanation and then we will be done with it. Sure there will be many questions and details that will not be shared at this time. There is a lot to get into and maybe explored in the future.....so here goes..... "Dog orgy, raccoon sex and dead bunnies" three stores in there own right and maybe not appropriate for this venue. 





7/5/2023 over 40 outdoor Soccer

Guest writer this week: 


Not much to say about the game...we played Flatus and it went how it usually does.  6-0 loss.

We moved the ball well across the back and into the midfield but then we couldn't get near the goal to shoot.  On defense, they beat us with their off ball movement and had a lot of open goal to shoot at.


Random drinking team notes:

Nate Dog is dead...I don't know why this came up but it was googled to confirm.

Adam hates music.

Sarge prefers to take just the tip.

Randy sucks at HVAC so much that he caused it to rain inside a building.

Christina mixed Riverwest with MIller Lite and made a beer rose 

Brawndo!  It has what plants crave!

In the Pumpers and Flamers bathrooms, you get free ointment if you go to the Flamers room.

Mark was showing off his vast knowledge of spanish...Sacapuntas is his only word other than si, no, and food items,  While it sounds very dirty, it actually means pencil sharpener


6/27/2023 over 40 outdoor Soccer

It was Canadian fire smokey afternoon. The ODBs had a soccer game while a lot of other events where cancelled, but those old guys are resilient to almost everything. Kent even pointed out that that good Canadian air put strength in his lungs. Yet still the game ended with a Brewers loss. 2 to 4


Kent would step up and use that Canadian power and score the first goal to take the lead. Yet that would not last long. The other team would come back moments later and with a singular effort, score the tieing goal.


The tie would not last long. Derick would get the ball in the back field and, instead of clearing it down the line, pass it through the middle of the the field, across the goal, to an attacking players who would the pass it past Dan for the opponents second goal. Dan was not pleased and would yell at Derick, "don't pass the ball across the front of the goal." 


To be fair Darrick had been out for injury for a few weeks and was only on the field to help out the short numbers of the ODBs. But in that time he also forgot how to sub in this league. The ball went out for a throw in and he called sub and started of the field. He had forgotten that in this none versus nine leave all subbing is on the fly and play does not stop. She he left his man just as the other team put the ball into play....right to the player he just left. Luckily the ball went over the touch line and no harm not goal. A few players would than loudly remind him of the sunning rule, both on and off the pitch.


The half ended 1 to 2. Even with the Brewers having more of the possession in the first half.


Sarge would be called for a foul when his grabbed the short of the biggest man on the field. In what would later call a fifty fifty challenge, he pulled the big man down and was called for a foul. Later that same big man would take a dive after Kent put a legal shoulder into him, all because of Sarge's early ruff play. 


Now slide tacking is illegal in this over forty league, but at times you can still get away with sliding. Example: one of the Andy's , the bearded one, was in the open field when a ball was passed into the far corner. It was just of our reach on the run, so he through his body out and slid for the ball. He got to it and cleared it. No one was near him and the ref didn't call anything the other team was livid. They started complaining that they is no sliding in this league, but the ref was having none of it. 


Shortly after one of the opposing defenders went in for a challenge and went to ground, sliding into one of the Brewers player's. As it should be the ref blue the whistle and there was a foul. Andy turned to the ref and said, 'of course that was different, no one was near me, shouldn't that be a card?' the ref did not give a card but agreed with the rest of the comment. 


The second half would go no better than the first. The other team would get the first and second goal of the half. The second goal would be on a poorly called foul at the top of the box. Yet there was no arguing with the ref. They put the ball down, Stef made a mention that everyone should be tightly marking their man. The ball was played and Stef's man ran right in front of him and took the pass to score a goal putting the Brewers down 1 to 4..


Kent was not about to give up. He decided to take matters into his own hands, with the help of the rest of the team. During a full pitch press the ball was passed back to the keeper and he had no place to go with it. The Brewers had all his outlets covered. Instead of putting the ball long he attempt to take a few touches to get open. Kent attracted and picked the ball from the keepers feet and was able to get enough space to put the ball into the back of the net. This would be the last goal of the game and it would end 2 to 4.


New bar names were once again discussed. This time talk turn to gay bars. It started as what could have been a fireman bar, but the finally name turned into Pumpers and Flamers.  With companion lesbian bar called Roughnecks and Dykes. 


After the game there was a lot of poop talk. It started with talk about.one player that was looking to donate his liver to a friend. He had to take some tests and they gave him a shake, or a drink, that helps clean your system out so they could test a clean liver. The drink tends to turn your poop into a nice powdery green poo for a while. 


The other thing that can turn your poop green is a steady diet of blue Gatorade. A few months of green blue Gatorade will change your poop into a nice bright green liquid. 


Turns out a lot of people have had a colonoscopy on this old man's team. The best advice given is not to sneeze. 


And it turns out someone we all know has had a colonoscopy on one end and scoped on the other end. So they were getting it from both ends at the same time. Yet this person will never be named. 


Sarge decided he wants to be a ginger. He said, " dye my hair red and call me a leprechaun. You'll never touch my lucky charms" Derek might have taken a minor offence, but it has been a while since he had enough hair to be called a red head. 


Best story of the night. Unattributed: one the radio the DJ said "Huey Lewis and the News up next" after the song finished the question was asked "when's the news going to come on." 


And to end this I will give every one a public service announcement: don't soil the new bamboo sheets. 


6/23/2023 over 30 outdoor Soccer

Fridays game was a casual affair. The Brewers came to play with a full squad. While the other team had a few issues getting eleven on the pitch before the first whistle blew. But as the ball started to move the other team had two subs, maybe a few from the game before. 


Before the lights came in the late game Justin would get a touch in front of the net to make the games first goal. 


He would once again find him self with the ball just out side the box. The keeper came out and Justin decided to chip the keeper. It went up and over and hit the back post. Justin continued his run and beat everyone else to the ball and put the ball in the back of the next. This would leave him with two goals and one assist to him self. 


The third goal would also be scored in the first half. Kurt would get the ball while he was playing right mid field and awkwardly move the ball up the line to Jamie. She would correct her run and get the ball along the end line and pass the ball through the middle where Tator was able to tap it home for the last goal of the game.


Half time came and went with no more goals. Shirtless Nick took his shirt off at half time while drinking his red juice. 


Justin had another attempt in the second half but it went wide. Andy would have a go at forward as well, but lost the ball in a defection that went straight up and missed the ball while trying to pick it out of the air. The bearded one was on the five yard line when he missed. 


Injuries: Billy would leave the game early with a Achilles heel injury. Andy would also site down after catching an elbow in the throat, causing some breathing issues. Yet both were able to drink there way past those issues. 


Andy aso put TWO great crosses onto the penalty spot. Neither Jamie nor Justin where able to get to them even though they made amazing runs. 


Mike cracked a beer after he came of the field. He thought he was done for the day with less than ten minutes to go. As he took his first ship Gil called for a sub and Mike went back in. Beer left behind for after the game. 


The game ended 3 to 0. 


Sarge asked the important questions for The only acupuncturist on our team. He asked if you could do acupuncture on a man's dick. Turns out there are no pressure points there, but yes yes he had tryed it. Yet the reasons why are not something people should talk about. 


Billy missed this conversation and said he would come back to this penis thing later. 


Once again Sonny's nipples were sensitive. He can't seem to not tell us when that is the case and it seems to be every other week. 


Dan and Jaime are finally into their new house. It has Been a long road and a lot of issues, but they are now home owners together. 

Kurt was awarded the first Rented Mule award and hand the shirt. It was not for this game, but it was for the last few games. He will hopefully be able to pass this off to some one else next week.

6/20/2023 over 40 outdoor Soccer


It was a good day for soccer on the grass this Tuesday. The field was not the best. The ground was hard the grass was mostly brown and the pitch was not flat. Yet the game was a win. 2 to 1


There were four Andys on the field today. All of them showed up and three of them showed up to play. 


The first goal came off a cross. Stefanich crossed the ball low and hard. Jamie flicked it behind her to Mark who was able to put is bast the goalie. Another Andy made sure it went in, but the goal goes to OJ, Mark, for the first goal of the game. 


A few players had a hard time judging the size of the field. There were some long crosses and some really long passes to the out side. 


The rest of the first half was boring until the last few seconds. The other team would tie up the game just moments before the final whistle blew. Half time ended with a one to one. 


There was a lot of back and forth for the second half, but there was no really mid field play. With such a small field the ball tended to go over the center of the field and go from defence straight to the forwards. This left a lot of defensives with the advantages and no goals. 


Yet in the last minute of the game the Brewers were able to to find one last push. The tallest And got the ball on the right side of the field and played it to the back corner right into Matt's stride on the back post. Yet Matt took three or four swings at the ball before he was able to put the ball past the diving keeper. Kent was also there and ready to run both the ball and Matt into the goal for the winning score.


And that was that. A boring game and a win for the Brewers. 


Little was said after the game. The drinking team was just as boring as the game. There was some talked about getting the big snip and how that can go wrong. One Brewers had a testicle turned black for a few days, but I think it was saved, yet for some reason he was still called solo Joe. Another player went back to the doctor saying, "I don't think this is right" after noticing that he had some crazy swelling around his junk. The doctors replay was basically simple, "I don't think it should look like that." Choices were to cut it open or wait a few days. This Andy decided to wait a few days and things got better. 


Lastly the superman blanket brought to the game by Jamie's mom was used and faded, but it was also pointed out that Dan had been naked on that blanket. The only one that touched that blanket was Jamie. 



6/16/2023 over 30 outdoor Soccer


On this Tuesday it rained all day, but stopped shortly before the game started. The Pat Jones field It was a travel game for the Brewers. The game was not a Uihlein Soccer Park. The team had to travel to Tosa east high school. The field was hard and the game was difficult. But the in the end it was a loss...2 to 3. 


The Brewers scored the first goal. Or at least the first goal that counted. The other team put one in the net, but is the ball was called out of bounce as the cross came in. There was some decent from the other team but the ref agree with the call and said it was out of bounce and awarded a goal kick instead of a goal. 


In a act of desperation, after Tator for a yellow card, Brian was put on top as the lone forward. He was able to get the ball in the box and put home the first goal. He was then moved back to our side mid. 


At half it was Brewers up by one. 1 to zero. 


The next two goal were scored by on player. That player was not one the Brewers. The first goal he dripped around two players and was able to get a shot off. It was blocked by Andy the bearded one, but not cleared. He got it back, to the shot and it went right over Andy's head as he was getting out after clearing the first shot. 


The next goal came as Adam challenged for the ball against the same player. Sadly Adam was beaten and was unable to clear the ball. Dan had a go at the player and missed. This left Andy, that one, trying clean out the mess, but he took was beaten and the ball went into the goal to make it 1 to 2. 


The tie would come later in the half. This was a team goal. The ball came out of the back field, to Mark, to Brian and finally to Sonny so was able to put it into the back of the net.


With the game even the Brewers were looking to hold on and end the game. But that was not to be. The ball fell to the other team just outside of the penalty box and he took a shot. He hit it poorly, with a lot of spin. It hit someone as it went to goal. The spin increased and then it hit the ground and changed directions. Dan was tracking it most of the way, but when it hit the ground it change course and was just out of reach as it went into the goal. 


This is how the game would end. Two to three. Tator would get a yellow card for a 50/50 change he showed up late to. 


Kent went into a 50/50 challenge where he might have been 10% off, and.demoslised the his opponent. He did not get carded. 


Mike was named the MVP of the game. He held strong against two of the fastest players on the other team. 


Kent went down in the second half with a back issue. He blamed the field and not his back, but he did not give up. Unlike Adam who has nee wrestling with a hamstring injury for a week now and decided to give up in the second half. 


Sam came to up the team out and played under the name Kurt. And I go old Kurt style Sam for hurt and retired before the the game ended..


Sonny kept yelling Kurt....Kurt when his meaning was Kent. 


Kent once pooped under a kids backyard playset in Canada. 


Sonny once watched a show called enema kingdom. He insisted he meant to say enema...with an L. enema....or maybe it was animal kingdom. He did say there where lions involved. 


At the after game, at Devin's, the pickles came out. Sarge's wife made a few jars of pickles and he brought a few. They were great. But the key to all of it was the pickle juice. The juice is magical. It keep the team from getting sick during covid and now it's healing properties are well know. So we all had a long deep spring out of the pickle jar.....for heath reasons. 

 

Labatt Blue is like angles pissing on your touch.  Where as Labatt Wildcat Strong is the worst beer know to Kent....and the first beer he ever drank. 


At one point Leo was looking for readers. (Reading glasses) but no one has a set for him. Andy offered his glasses, but the offer was ejected.  There was a good chance that Leo would have been able to see through his phone with Andy's glasses. 


Bobby drives a topples truck. 


Sonny always comes. 


Mark almost bought a single person hot tub for his living room so he could eat and watch TV while sitting in his single person hot tub. No one thought this was a bad idea.


Things left out: slurp and burp business plan. Christian AIDS or recreational STDs. Stick it in, stick it out. Walk her in drag her out.  And lastly foreskin and dark helmet. According to some study 1 out of 5 people in the US has had an STD, but in our group it was one out of fifteen. I know who it is and I'm not talking. 


There was a lot more that can and will not be published. Things were said and things where heard, but even this is not the place for those words. 


6/13/2023 over 40 outdoor Soccer


On this Tuesday it rained all day, but stopped shortly before the game started. The Pat Jones field never had time to dry so so it was slick and got slicker when it started to drizzle before half. Yet the Brewers thrived in this weather with a 3 - 1 win. 


The Brewers came ready to play. Even without Kent playing on top..Tator would have the first goal from a odd angle. He was short and wide of the goal. He turned quickly spun and put it past one player and the goal from a low angle shot. This came shortly after he was reprimanded for goal to goal and not passing from a similar location. 


The second goal would drop to Sonny feet. The opposing keeper would pass the ball out right to Sonny. He was wide open, no defenders around him. He would take a few touches and then just smash the ball past everyone into the back of the next. 


Adam would get the last goal after winning, the ball at half, then lossing and then winning it back again. He would then dribble the ball into the open field. Tator would draw two players to him leaving Adam unmarked. The players in front of him just parted as he went up the middle and  shot just outside the penalty box and put it past the keep with out being challenged. 


After soom revisiting the talk of the girl with two vaginas, the question was asked if she could scissor herself. Turns out Sonny learned, for the first time, what scissoring was. 


There was some talk after the game about cars and car crashes. Andy told a store about his first car and how he found out the parking break did not work. He got out of his Geo Tracker, locked the door and it slowly started to roll backwards. He ran after it with the key trying to get in as I rolled down a slight angled driveway. Turns out third gear was just a suggestion at this point and it would slip in and out easily. And when driving you had to push it in and hold it to keep it in gear. 


Now it is a well know fact the Sendik bags are the best bags. They are vary versatile. They can be used protect you soccer bag from rain, carry even the heaviest of groceries, keep you ass dry while sitting on a wet bench, used as a trash bad for empty cans and store wet soccer gear after the game. They will also be around for thousands of years. They are the thickest plastic bags any store will ever produce. 



One of these things is not like the other 

One of these things is not like the other 

6/4/2023 over 40 outdoor Soccer

It was a windy night for Tuesday soccer. The temp was slowly going down to sixty, but it was a great afternoon for soccer. Even better it was a win. Four to zero. 


It did not take long to get started. Andy, the bearded one, ran forward and received the from Sonny. He took two touches, with a man in his back. He heard Kent yelling for the ball in the center of the goal box. Andy spun around and swung his foot at the ball. As the ball left his foot Andy went to ground. Kent received the ball and took one touch an tapped is neatly past two defenders and goalie into the net. Andy would sub right after that. 


Andy would later remark that he was inspired by The Caterer and that is why he made a few runs forward. 


Sonny took part in the second goal. He would feed the ball to Kent, who was once again loitering in the box again. When he received the ball he once again took two touches and passed the ball in the net. 


The other team would try to score a few times. Most of them were long shots. Dan would have all of these covered and there was never any real danger. Excerpt for the first shot. The first shot taken by the other team caught Dan by surprise. The shot came from half field. Dan was out of his box watching the play progress. No one was expecting the shot from that are out and when it left the players foot it looked like it was on target. There was nothing Dan could do at this point. He just turned, looked at the goal and watched as the ball just missed hitting the posts upper left corner. 


Kent was again part of the third goal. He was harassing the defender trying to get the ball out of the back. Instead of going forward he passed the ball back to his keeper, who was not ready for it, and the ball went into the back of the net. Own goal. 


The would be fourth goal was missed by Sonny. The ball was worked down the light side of the field beautifully. Kent to Mark, Mark to Andy who flicked it with his patented pending outside of the right foot pass. It went straight to Sonny. Sonny was wide open inside the box, yet even though his team mates yell he had time, he took one look at the ball and missed high and left. 


Halftime came and the score stands at three to zero. 


Stefanich would have a great opportunity on goal during the middle of the second half. The ball was crossed in the air. He went up for it, headed it down as he would have, but too much speed was taken off and the goalie was able to get his hands to it. 


Later Sonny got it into his head that he took could score off a header. Kent put the ball into the box, Sonney went up, hit the ball with his head and the ball tagged the top of the cross bar and went over. 


Sonny was determined to get a goal. He received the ball again inside the box. He miss touch the once, confusing his defender. He miss touch the ball twice further confusing the defender. The final miss touch put the ball on to his right foot and he struck the ball into the upper right corner of the next. 


As every one sat down to drive the victory beer Sonny started to tell Sarge a story. No one else was really paying attention until Sonny said, a little louder than expect, "....she has two vaginas and is thinking about going into sex work...." This of course got everyone's attention.  As the story goes: there is a woman that has two vaginas, two uteruses and two cervixes. She has a OnlyFans page. She wants to be a sex worker and will use one for her husband and one for sex work. Not sure where some found this story or what he was searching for that helped him find it. There are a few questions we want answered. First are they East/West or North/South? Second  "as long as you have sex with the right one will she be cheating on her husband?" Turns out this is a true story. 


Lonny does not play on our team on Tuesday, but he was there playing on a different Brewers team. He got a hair cut and had his hair he still had wrapped into some kind of bun with the sides shaved. He was asked if he donated his hair to a good cause, but pointed out there was not enough cut off to do that. Someone then recommended that he should have donated it for someone's Merkin. 


What? Came a lot of questions. A lot of people learned something on this day. Seems a few people learned what this was from the movie PCU. This should be on everyone's watch list, if you have not seen it. 


speaking of college a few stories where told about dorm rooms and room mates. Summing up these stores is simple.... collage smells like BO and CUM. 


Seems not everyone on this over forty team knows what a tape rewinder is. Most never had one, be once again Jamie learns something new this week. 


Injury report: Andy, the beard, was fouled late in the game, but no call was given. He caught cleats to the side of the ankle and went down. He would go back in the game a few more times. Now his ankle is completely black and blue. He was quoted later that night, "Every time I go down they blow the whistle. Don't worry I always get up." 


6/2/2023 over 30 outdoor Soccer

Friday was a disaster, and because of this the team is unofficially going to be renamed to the Poop Tunas until they win a game this out door season. 


The Brewers were Beaten 0 to 7 like a rented mule. 


The first two goals against were scored within the first ten minutes. The first. Kurt was beaten down the line but made a good come back to cover his man. He was beaten again with a cross into the box. There were two defended and one offensive player in the box, but no one was marking him and he headed the ball, uncontested, into the back of the net. 


The next one came right after. A few changes were made to the back field which did not help at all. Third goal was a possible offsides, the Caterer was out run. He had no help so it was not all his fault. Needless to say the ref did not pull the goal back. 


The rest of the goals we are all trying to forget. Yet there are some nominations for the Rented Mule Award this week. One for the goals was completely Sarge's fault when he fouled someone in the box it was a soft foul and it was recommended that next time he fouls someone in the box....FOUL HIM. Kurt, as always, is in the runny.  Then all the defenders that were on the field for the fifth goal. 


Adam did save one goal from going in. The ball was shot and Dan got his hand to it and pushed it towards the far post. There was an offensive player running on it when Adam swooped in, causing him enough trouble getting in his way and was able to push the ball over the touchline for a corner. 


The Brewers had a few opportunities, the closest bounced around the goal line. Nic had a try at it, Adam had a go at it and the goal pounced on it and held it. And one of the Andys felling in the box and didn't touch the ball at all. 


Adam is also kicking himself about one of the best attempts on goal. He received a ball in the air from Kent. He went up for a head ball, but was unable to place it on net. 


Sonny sounded like he as having an orgasm on the field while calling for the ball. He started yelling, while running to the corner, "No No No...Yes Yes Yess Yess."


Shirtless Nic was making friends on the field after one of the players on the other team scratched him and drew blood. He ran around for a while with a flesh wound. He played aggressively and had some hard tackles. Nic may have pushed the guy off and ball and the other guy was quoted as saying, "I will make you stop breathing and functioning like a normal human being” Also I think he made the guy cry after a minor altercation putting the player on the ground on a clean tackle. Nic would later give unneeded explanation and apology to his team mates. 


On a side note at half time Nic would drink his rabies blood at. Maybe that is where his rage came from. And yes there is some irony that a vegan is accused of drinking blood, but yes it may come from an animal, as are eggs, but there is no meat in it. 


Some notes from after the game. 


Jamie used to be to old for Kurt, but now she is to young for Kurt to date. Dan thought this was funny. 


Be careful of mushrooms you find in the woods while taking a run. First thing you need to do is make sure that the poop bag you put the mushroom into is clean. When you take it home fillet it, sauté it with other mushrooms and onions. There is one more step you should never forget. But it should be done first. Make sure it does not have maggots in it. Now you never want to finish eating your dish only to find out the next day that the half of the mushroom you did not eat is sitting in your refrigerator crawling with maggots. Doubly worse if you're a vegan and just ate some meat. 


Kent will have to explain this one: Alex Alvarado lemonade....I got nothing. 


At one point we ran out of beer tickets. Two things happened at this point. Other teams started handing Kent tickets like the head of some kind of the Coupin Mafia. They kept giving him tribute. Later when running low on beer Kent would go up the the window and attempt to purchase two pitchers of Miller High Life, but came back with what we can only guess was Blue Moon. (a beer they don't have on tap) After some negotiations and beer tastings it would be learned that somehow the taps got mixed up. To make it right Kent was given those pitchers at no cost and also came back with at least ten cans of Miller High Life, again at no cost. He still received a few more tickets in tribute after that. He would put two in his shorts and forget about them till after last call. 


According to Leo, while growing up, his brother wore husky boys cloths. And on multiple occasions was heard yelling "and that mother fucker knows he is husky." Brotherly love. 


Adam also gave his brother a back handed compliment. While explaining to Kurt that when the goalie gets the ball he needs to immediately spread the field and get wide to receive the ball.  "Get in the position like Andy, he's so slow getting out of the back field he is always in the right position."


Adam would later put his belt on the drinking table and put on a pair of dress pants. 


Nic was admiring Kent's Great cheekbones and bad bags under is eyes. He suggested a neti pot, which is l like an enema for your nose. 


Kent was trying to start a fight by yelling Coo Roo Coo Coo, but there were no takers. And it turns out Dave Thomas was in Strange Brew. 


Lastly Sam does not know how to eat popcorn. And don't forget to squeeze the can when you are done with it. 


As per usual, the Brewers where the last team drinking in the parking lot. 


5/23/2023 over 40 outdoor Soccer

There is controversy. Yet we still lost the game. 


The game started late. The other team showed up and not a single one of their players were on the roster. They only had six players at game time and all of them had to go up and put their name on the roster. As they did the clock started counting. 


They all came back to the field, but not a single one had a card showing they registered when they came back. So once again they had to head back up to the office and get conformation that they were registered and on the team. At this point the other team finally had ten players and fifteen game minutes had already expired with no soccer being played. In the end this would turn out to be a winning tactic. 


The Brewers would score the first goal. Mike would get a dead ball at the top of the box and place into the back of the net. Normally it would have not been a goal because all dead balls are indirect, but the goalie would stick his are out and touch the ball as it went in. One nothing the good guys. 


The next goal would not be as nice. The other team moved the ball around the top of the box. When one of them got the ball at the top of the ark the defense parted leaving him with space and a clear view of the goal. He put it in and it was now tied. 


At this point there should have been a halftime, but the ref decided the better choice would be to play through it, since we started so late. The original decision was to split the time left in half, but on the fly the ref changed his mind. This meant the Brewers would be looking into the sun the entire game. This would be an issue at least three times when two of the Andy's would miss judge a all in the air and end up heading it backwards. Luckily none of these errors would end in a goal. 


Another dead ball later Lonny and Kent tried a trick play. Lonny passed it back to Kent who took a shot. It bounced off a defender and back to Lonny. Lonny passed it to open space where Mark was with his back to the goal. Andy, the Bearded one, was stepping up to it with glory in his eyes. Mark was yelling, as he tried to get out of the way, yours. There was no question that Andy was always planning on taking the shot but Mark's encouragement helps and with the INSIDE of his right foot Andy placed the ball right into the right side netting. It just kissed the post as it went in. 


This would have been the go-ahead goal, but things went wrong. The other team scored a well placed goal that Dan had no chance to get to. Then they scored again to win the game three to two. (Editors note: the entire situation was kind of Bull Shit. But none of the Brewers brought this up before the game)


This will put the ODBs one win and one loss for the season so far. 


While taking notes for this game Andy would end up sending texts to an old work contact instead of his own phone number. The few things that were send confused her. One because she had not heard from him in years. Two because the spelling was questionable. 


Here is and excerpt of the three texts sent. :  "Lonny afraid of sitting next to Bobby. He might bite. Sonny do w not care." "Lions. And elifemts and potchers." "Johnson's motor boat feild." No edits were made this is how I sent them. Her response was simple and hurtful..... "Are you OK?" 


So let's explain. For some reason Lonny was would not sit next to Bobby. We are not sure if it was because Bobby is a cop or because Lonny thought Bobby was going to bite. Sonny did not care. He is from Leeds....I mean Africa....and has been chased and bit by loins, shot and has a pet elephant. He ain't afraid of no pig. 


For some reason no one could remember the game of the main soccer field. Well Dan knew the name of it. Southeast Sales Power Sports field. A few players have been to the motorcycle shop, but Sarge has not and thought the field was called Johnson's Motorboat Field. No one had the heart to correct him. 



Dan left the drinking team early to go drink with his wife, who did not come play. I hear she thinks work is more important and playing over fourth soccer and Dan seems to think hanging out with his wife is better than hanging out with the boys. 


Lonny left with Dan, or maybe they left at the same time. He is also not on our team, officially. He is planning on playing on the coed team for the most part and only play over forty when there are no conflicts. That said he is going to play both ways. Which was a strange thing say as he left with Dan. No one followed up on this interaction, it could mean anything. 


Kurt was vary proud of his new fanny pack and I mean VARY proud. It was simple black and around his hip, but he is disappointed in him self for not buying the Air Jordan styles fanny pack, or as Leo would call it, Kurt's Murse or Man Sack. 


Turns out Nashville is the place to party and only a place to party. Sure there are some good musicians there but they tend to play all the same covers for all the barely legal girls getting drunk before noon. Maybe the Dune Pumas should plan a trip to the party in the USA. 


Seems like there is a small group of Brewers that grew up in the Green Bay area. Two of which used to play for the De Pere But Prates. 


Lastly the Upper Peninsula is the West Allis of the north. 



5/19/2023 over 30 outdoor Soccer

"That is too much ball for this age."  Leo 


There.was another loss in game two for the Dune Pumas. Two to one on the big field. The Southwest Sales Power Sports Field. There were three players returning to the pitch for the first time in months. First the always injured Sarge. Derick as well with an extended rest for his knees. Addie also stepped back on the field after a bad breakup with his other team. 


The first half started slow. For the first fifteen to twenty minutes it looked like the Pumas were running through molasses and were on their heels for most of that time. Near the end of twenty minutes the other team would break the the defence. Sarge was marking the highest forward when the ball go pushed forward right between him and the forward. This put them in a foot race and Sarge just could not keep up. The ball was pushed smartly into a corner past Dan for a goal. 


This seems to perk the Brewers up. Jason had the first real chance shortly after. When he received a through ball down the middle of the field and out ran his defender. After a few touches, and maybe one two many, he found himself heading toward the goal post and then out side the goal post, where his angle disappeared and was not able to get a clear shot on goal. 


Yet the Brewers would not have long to wait. After one good shot on goal the ball fell to The Traveling Scientist at the penalty spot. He had his back to the goal and saw Mike near the top of the eighteen. He dropped it and Mike took on touch then you could see him looking at the keeper, then the corner, to his left, then his right and, after choosing carefully, he simple stroked the ball into the side netting. 


The half ended in a tie. 


One of the three Andy's that showed up to play had a amazing tackle just out side of the box. He won the challenge but ended up on the ground with the ball right in front of him. While on the ground he took a swing at the ball and missed. It was miles away but coming closer. He took another swing at the ball and just got a toe on it, it might have got a foot before the offense grabbed it. The original tackle may have saved a goal. 


The same  Andy had the shortest shift in the second half.  He subbed in then has a really bad pass to Tator. It almost went out of bounce but it was saved and Andy went into a questionable chalange and took out two players without winning the ball. The ref called play on, since the other team maintained possession, but any was done. He caught a klet above the shin guard and below the knee brace and took a sup after less then two minutes. 


Before the half ended Brian would will the ball in the offensive third, beat one person, took a step and fell down. The limped off the field say he heard a pop. A few minutes later he was seen jogging up and down the sidelines. He would then find him self back in the game where he would, in the second half, find his way to the ground again. One was on a through ball into the box when he would go doing in the box with minimal contact and end up winning the corner. 


There were a few epic Kurt moments through out the game. Kurt had a head ball mid field l and grunted as he does. Later in the game he took a cross off the ribs and made a noise that most players would have made if they had been hit in the nuts. One day, before he ages out, we are going to mic him up for a game and make a sound board of all the strange noises he makes throughout the game. Maybe even make a virtual song out of it. The best way to do this is to get Petr Çech's magic helmet and put a mic in it. After one loud Kurt chest trap near half time, Leo was heard saying "that was your best touch of the night." 


The last and final goal came late in the second half. It was on a bread away. Devin got beat by the forward and yelled to Andy to "go" Andy slowed him down and tried to cut of the pass to the guy he had left. The pass was cut off and Devin was almost back in position, but the fast forward cut inside split Devin and Andy and passed it into the goal for the go ahead goal. 


Adam showed up late. Just wanted to point that out. He showed up after the second half started. He pulled off his dress pants, put on his gear and tried to sub Addie. That did not work the first time he tried. The second sub attempt went better and he entered the game. Two plays later he was running through the middle asking for the ball at the top of the box and then held up. For a moment the fans thought he ran so fast that his shoe came off. He slowed reached out to his heel, adjusted something and took two more steps and sat down. He limped off the field saying something did not feel right. Maybe an ankle, maybe his heel. He would go on to pull it out, rub it down, stroke it, massage it and then back out on the field. 


There were a few half heart shots on goal before the game ended with a 1 to 2 loss. Looking back it was a big field and the Brewers had a rough go in the final third. They just could not connect on the final pass in this area. They worked it up well during the middle of the game but could not build up to the final shot. 


For some reason Popeyes never had chicken tenders. They are a chicken place but when the Caterer goes to Popeyes after a soccer game they tell him they are out of chicken tenders. That might be why the one near Ueline Is closed. Or something about a fight club being run in the restaurant. All we know is the place is closed and it had something to do with employees fighting. (Rumor that this editor is not willing to look up)


Now we come to office fuckary. There will be a office fuckary seminar, run by OJ sometime this week. He is looking to set up some fliers to make sure people are aware. Seems he just found out why most of the conference rooms in office buildings have glass doors. Seems if you don't put glass doors on these room all of your employees will find a way to have sex I'm these rooms and not tell the janitors, so if there is no glass you might want to wipe down the table before putting your laptop on it.


But who knows they might not have been fucking, they might just have been playing "front to back." Let's put this into contact the best we can. (I am sure I will miss something on this explanation) it started simply, seems some girls, and boys for that matter, won't go commando. One girls once pointed out that that when she goes camado he jeans smell like.....do I have to say it?....her private parts. But the question came up, what about the back. Sure the front would smell, but what about the back? It would smell to? So the game was invented, live and pants wise, front to back. The less I explain this the better I feel. So for a better explanation I will direct you to anyone on the drinking team other than me.


On a simpler note. I would like to Direct you to Derek's beer. Seems he does not know how to pour a beer and ended up with a lot of head. He waited for it to go down, but as the foam faded, The Caterer went and long poured more beer into his cup to build the foam back up. He did this again and again. He made at least three good muffin tops before he became over zealous and over flowed the cup, spilling good been onto the ground. So the group started to give suggestions as how to fix the foaming problem. The first suggestion was to wait. It will go down eventually. Second was nose oil. This is not to say you pick your nose and dip it into the foam. No that is disgusting. Just rub the side of your nose and dip your finger. Second option ear wake will also do the trick. Turns out all oil will work. Even anal oil. Maybe there is a marked for this sort of thing. Starting idea was dog anal glands and that fluid/oil. Drain it and have little droppers to put in foamy beer so you don't have to wait to drink it. Or just wait and take your beer to the bathroom while you wait. 


Lastly there is Austin. He does not play on our Brewers team. He plays on the better younger team that played the last game. While the Dune Pumas were drinking and gathering tickets from other teams, he came up after his game to find out no one from his team where hanging out after the game. He went to get his teams tickets to find out one player came up, took the tickets, had a LEMONADE, and then left with all the tickets. The bartender took pity on him and gave him two free beers. He could not get the Pumas to stay and drink with him because he did not have tickets to bribe them with.....so that was the end of the night. 


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5/9/2023 over 40 outdoor Soccer

After the first week of over fourty outdoor soccer canceled due to wet fields, Out do soccer has now begun. Tuesdays are 9 on 9 soccer  on half fields, with mostly the same rules as indoor soccer. No off sides, subbing on the fly and no drop kicking from the keeper. Other that that it is just like an outdoor game. 

The Brewers ODB came out in good form. There was a lot of good passing to be seen and a lot of halfway decent shots. Most of the shots in the first half went over the bar as players were still trying to get used to the smaller goals. Yet most of the possession and shots in the first half came from the Brewers. 

Lonie had two really good runs in the first half. The first was fed to him as he ran between two defenders in the middle of the field. He collected the ball just outside of the box with one touch and his second went just over the crossbar. His second run later in the half he received the ball inside the box as someone pushed the ball between two defenders. Lonie took one touch, which might have been one touch too many, then shot the ball. He did not get what he wanted on it and the keeps was able to save it with little effort.  

Still in the first half, Kent forgot what sport he was playing. He thought he could triple-deke his way through four defenders. He made it past the first two and got himself in the box, took a another touch or two to get around the third but as he want past the fourth he lost the ball. The defender's big toe got just enough of the ball to get it out from under Kent. He was quoted at half as saying, "I had him, I just needed one more centimeter and I would have been through." He attempted to dribble through two or three defenders a few more times before half, all with the same effect. 

While on the bench, Kent also yelled at Jamie for drippling to much and that she should pass the ball. Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black. Luckly Kent saw the humor in his own statement. 


Then Tator showed up and the energy changed on top. On his first shift on the field, he had only been on the pitch for five minutes,  he received the ball and with the energy only he can possess, muscled the ball past the goalkeeper for the first goal of the season. The half would end with this being the only goal.


The second half started and from here on in, it became the Kent and Tator show.

Kent crossed the ball in the air and over both the goalie and two defenders. Tator was waiting in for the ball and as it came down, dead center of the goal, he picked it out of the air with one touch and put it into the back of the goal.


Later in the half Mark would have a tremendous cross that was actually going into the goal, when at the last second before the ball crossed the line, Kent would steal it and knock it in with his head for another goal. 


Two great opportunities would be missed. Tator would receive the call from Kent on the top of the box and instead of shooting he would lay it off to where Kent should have been if he would have finished his run. The reverse would happen a little later when Kent would get the ball form Tator inside the box with an open goal in front of him, but he would pass the ball to where Tator should have been if he would have continued his run. 


Tator would go on to get a Double hat trick. He would score four goals in total. Kent pointed out a double hat trick would have been six goals, but Tator pointed out that goals one through three counted as the first hat trick and the second to the fourth counted as the second hat trick.


Kent would get a second goal, capping off the final Brewers goal total of five for the game. 

Joe was distracted by a tasty on the side lines in the second and no one was surprised that he would notice her, or mention that he noticed her. 


The Brewers did not fall apart after the fifth goal, but they would be scored on twice after.

One of the Andy's, the one with the bad knees, was defending the player with the ball. The guy made half a move and when Andy changed direction his knees and legs did not want to do what he wanted and he stumbled. He did not go down, but it was more than enough for the player to beat him. Adam said he would take some of the blame because he stepped off him man, but in the end no one is blaming Adam. Especially not Andy.


Mark put in a crunching tackle on one of the other teams better players. The ball was played out to the wing. IT was a fifty/fifty ball and they both got their feet to the ball at the same time. Mark stopped the ball dead and the player went head over heels and rolled down the sideline.

This guy would later go on to score the second goal for the bad guys. He danced at the top of the box. Joe was doing a good job sticking with his fakes. One, two, three, but the fours one opened just a little window and he took the shot. It went through a crowd and Dan never saw it. By the time Dan did see it, the ball was right next to him and it was too late to do anything.

Bobby would leave the game early with a foot injury. Dan thinks it might be an Anne Frank injury, or did he say Lizi Frank? Either way it might be serious so maybe it should not be joked about. Bobby does not know this, but this is what the drinking team thinks (it might be called Lisfranc injury) 

The game ended with a well deserved win 6 -2 and the consensus is that four subs is the right amount of subs for most nine on nine games.

The drinking team was disappointed with the amount of tickets they got after the game. Sure there were not as many people on the team as when the games are eleven on eleven, but the amount of people that say after the game is about the same. Needless to say a few pitchers were purchased to make up for this oversight. 

Now that it is warm outside the conversation turned from the normal conversation of when Dan and Jamie are going to move into their home they are building, to lawn care. It seems that a lot of home owners like to take care of their lawns and some of them take it very seriously. Mark tends to be very meticulous when it comes to lining his lawn and he once attempted to carve a Packer's G into it. From the ground he said it looked good, but when he went on his roof to take pictures, it still looked like a G, but not a Packer's G.

Dan pointed out that it might have been easier to do if he would have used a Segway lawn mower. Now I'm sure that Dan had no idea, but they exist and here is prof. There is a video below. 

Once again the talk went to the long and drawn out process of Dan trying to buy a boat. This has also been a topic over the last few games. Of course when you talk about boats the talk leads to fishing or water skiing. This time it was fishing. My notes do not do this conversation justice so it is going to end up on the cutting floor.  

The question of the night was what is worse, fire ants or sister ants? Turns out that sister ants are worse, because they are both your ant and your sister. 

If you did not know there is a right and a wrong way to hit someone with a pool cue. You always hold the narrow end. If you hit them with the skinny end the cue will not break. It would act more like a whip than a bat. But if you hold the skinny end the thick end will snap off and hurt more. 

At last call Dan, Joe and Mark liberated some tickets from one of the other teams and when the call was made they all got up and ran to the window to collect their last free beers. 

I will not go into this too much, but Joe once shook OJs hand. He chased him down yelling "the Juice" If you want the whole story that is something for him to tell again. I would require an entire post on its own. . 

It is now known that a Beer party in the bathroom is not when you are holding your girlfriend's hair as she is throwing up in the bathroom while you are drinking a beer. We are not sure what that would be called, but it is not a Beer Party in the bathroom. Nor is having a shower beer. 


As the teams started to clean up their tables at the end of the night. The Caterer tossed a beer can end over end over Jaime's head in into the trash can six feet away and it went in without hitting the sides.



no one is quite sure where the water came from, but we assume Sarge brought it to hydrate the team, but the only water being drank was Miller products.

5/5/2023 over 30 outdoor Soccer


First game of outdoor Dune Pumas did not go as well as it should have. The mostly over forty team lost to team ten years younger than them. Yet that was not the reason for the loss and yes it was a loss. Ended 1 to 5 at the end.


There was hope in the first half. Sure the other team scored first, but the Pumas struck back shortly after in the first half with a tieing goal from Tator. Joe pases it out of the back to Kent, he pushed it off to Bobby who found Tator fifteen yards  out of the box. The goalie covered the left post leacing most of the goal open and Tator took one touch to bring it down and hit a lazor straight shot into the goal, tieing up the game. 


For the most part the Brewers were on defence for most of the first half. 


While playing out side left defence Kurt was trying to clear a ball just out side the box on the left side of the field. He tried to clear the ball and instead of hitting the ball his right foot dug into the ground and he went over. He face planted into the ground and Gill was forced to clear the ball for him. 


When the ball went out of play during  shirtless Nick's first shift he took off his shirt, during the game. He couldn't even wait till the end of the game. The rumours are that he did this to show off his six pack, but he said it was because he put his undershirt on backwards and it was chaffing his abs. After the game he would once again pull his shirt up and say, "look at my six pack." More on that later. 


Shortly after, there was a scrum between Gill, Shirtless Nick and one of the other teams players. Some how the Brewers cleared the ball, but Gill ended up knocking Nick out after hitting him in the face with his arm. He laid on the ground for a while and as he was getting up, Kent ran over and pushed him back down. Take it slow he said. We could use the rest. 


Defender of the game was the goal post. In the first half alone the other team hit the post four times. Dan save twice that, but the goal post helped keep the Brewers in the game. By the end of the game the post saved around eight goals. 


That is how the half ended. One to one tie. 


Second half is where it all fell apart. The goals posts did their best to keep the Brewers in the game with at least four more saves. One of those hit the post and landed back in play. The defence, Andy, was caught flat footed and the forward tapped it in when the ball landed at his feet. Andy was later quoted saying, "the ball was either going in the goal or going out of bounce, who would have thought it was going to hit the post." Knowing  how this game went he should have known better. 


The game started to get out of hand some where in the second half. There were three hand balls not called by the ref and a few fowls not called between the two teams. Most noticeable was on  JIm Thomson. He got hip checked mid field with no call given. Shorty after he was in a challenge with the same guy. In an open field challenge Thompson went in with a vengeance and had his arms around the other player, almost looking like he was hugging him from behind, all the while with his opponents arm in his face. Yet there was never a call either way. 


Turns out Thompson's first name is not Jim, but Bobby and Joe did not know that for most of the game. 


Devin had a few conversations with the ref because these missed calls. He was not happy about the missed hand balls and the lack of calls on clear fouls. 


Joe being the playmaker he is, had a chance to clean the ball out of the back field, he took a swing and he missed the ball all together. The other thing he thinks was his fault was not. We knows who fault that was. And he also wants to be a super sub. He is not on the team, but he is expecting to play in 90% of the games.


The poor reffing came to a head when a yellow card was thrown to Dan, our keeper, for descent. The ball went over the end line and but the ref let the play go on and it was crossed and then shot on on goal. The ball went int and the  original call was a goal. Sure Dan yelled at the ref explaining what he missed, (in the end the ref said Dan was right) but still gave him a yellow. Since you can't through out the keeper he pointed at Devin and said he had to sit out for ten minutes. 


Devin's response was, "no, I'm not going off, you can't mak le me..why don't you go off."  The ref then threatened to give him a red. At this point two players stepped up and volunteered to go off. Nick and Andy both offered to walk off the field but Nick wasn't as tired, even though he might have had a concussion, Andy walked off to calm down the situation. So even though Andy went off for the yellow card Dan got the yellow. 


Mike would have made no difference if he would have shown up to the game. Adam on the other hand would have changed the game. He might have started a fight in the later parts of the game. Or should I say, he would have made a few friends. Either way we would have lost. 


Kent is ready for the new Nick diet. Forty days on then forty days off. Drink and smoke for for fourth days then nothing for the next forty. Yet there may have been some confusion on how this works. Kent thought it was Drink and smoke for forty and and then coke for the next forty. Yet we all think the second forty was abstinence, but the final method is still unclear. But either way Kent is in. 


On the way out Neon was two fisting it but he had to go and ended up leaving with two beers as he left. Saying I'm going to take these with me. Side note he thinks all gingers look alike and calls all of them Sam.


Sonny never made it to the game but was quoted after "I went to read with my enthusiasm but there’s 

On my he website… how I was disappointed." We think this has something to do with a late ballgoesshit post, but I don't speak Leads. 


On hair talk: the Caterer and Thompson have some of the best hair on the Dune Pumas. While Kent points out about his own  hair  "this is what you get." 


Lastly, Kent farted, no one heard it or smelled it but we all saw the lean.but he let his whole ass out.  You just have to lean. Then a kid up wind did him one better.  Suddenly we smelt something, and looked around. Kent said he didn't do it and yell "who farted?" There was a kid looking at our table and staring at the back of Kent's head. When Kent turned to look the kid gave a little smile and looked away. 


I think I found the boar Dan is looking for. 

4/25/2023 over 40 indoor Soccer 


There is not much to say about this game. It was the last indoor game. The Brewers only scored one goal and lost 1-3. 


It started out well. There was a lot of possession. Yet the other team scored the first goal. Dan had two good save in a row, but he needed a third to keep it out of the goal. He could not get the third and they scored. 


Mark decided to be tough and play through his rip pain. When putting on his shirt before the game he could not lift his arm above his head. On this first shift he was in the middle of the field, alone, and just fell over. He got back up and continued to play. 


Sonny was able to get the tying goal shortly after that. Kent put a perfectly weighted ball splitting two defenders leaving Sonny and Lonnie two on one with the goalkeeper. Sonny got the goalkeeper to commit one way and passed the ball to Lonnie with a wide open goal. Lonnie missed and the ball bounced off the wall alright back into Sonny's path and he just tapped it in. 


Andy, the lost Andrew, gave up a second goal with a bad pass coming out the back. Andy, the Bearded on, passed the ball to him and he took a touch against the ball then passed it into the middle of the goal box right to the opposing team. They took two touches and slipped it passed the keeper. Andrew took responsibility for the goal while the other Andy agreed because it certainly was not his fault. 


Half came and went and the score was 1-2. For the most part the teams played good, the Brewers could not score and would not score for the least of the game. The last goal was controversial. The ball got lifted over the defense and Dan came a step out his box went up for the ball and the attacking player kicked at the ball putting his foot just inches from Dan's face. There was no call and one of the refs said if there was a high boot it would have been the other refs job to call it. 


There was a small group that hung out after the game. There was some talk about boats and trailers. 


There was a dust storm circling Urans and some dark rings a well. 


Andy felt like he was having a heart attack after the game. He could not catch is breath, was light headed and his arm and chest had some pain. He got over it and started drinking. 


There was one quote that I really want to add here, but it is far to discussing to bring up ever again. Even for me. 


Sonny is still not drinking beer. He got a fruity drink to save on the calories so he can look good in his new Speedo. This lead to swim suit discussions and that pubic hair sneaking out the sides of a Speedo or bikini bottom are called Spiders. And now you know. 


Next on to Summer and outdoors next week. 


4/18/2023 over 40 indoor Soccer 

It was not a pretty game, but it was a win. 10 to 9. 

Kent got the first goal of the game after a slow start. No one seemed to want to run for the first few minutes of the game. 

Tim scored the second goal of the game, but it was on the wrong goal. 

Tator had a few goals in the game, before the game was over he would have a hat trick. He also was making friends in the second half. He was working hard to get the ball up front he slightly nicked one or two defenders legs. A tall gray beard man got mad and started yelling. He stepped up to Tator as if he wanted to fight. But in the end did nothing but yell. 

Andy the Caterer had a good two minutes shift. He score a banger in the first half, and moments later he would pass the ball through to Sunny who would smash the ball home for his first goal of the game. 

Gabe, a one time Brewer, played against us in this game. On a dead ball Tator stood in front of the ball for a minute and Gabe decided he did not like that and kicked the ball in to Tator's back. 

In the second half Mark, aka OJ, got destroyed on a fifty fifty ball. He landed hard on his sholder and had the wind knocked out of him. The defender got a blue card to put them down a man. When Mark finely got up and started walking off the field he was heard ranting about the foul. This is paraphrased but it was something like this, "the was fucking ridiculous, fucking pussy play, that was a  bullshit, fucking ass hole." Sunny would score during this power play. 

Right in front of the opposing teams bench Jamie challenged for the ball and stepped on it and went down. As she was falling she pushed the ball out from under her. The other teams was yelling and screaming as the Brewers scored. They wanted a foul, but the ref did not see it that way. It was at this point one of the players started to complain that Jamie was getting special treatment because she was a girl. That the ref was not going to call a foul on her because of that. It only got worse after Jamie got hacked from behind in the corner. It was an innocent foul, she just has her heal stepped on, but the foul was called. The other team was livid, and suggested that the only reason it was a foul was because she is a girl. 

Super Sub Justin did not come to play soccer tonight, but late in the game he decided it was time to get out onto the field. He worked hard in the corner to win the ball and once he got it he turned into the box, the ball got a way from him and bit and Andy the Bearded one, stoled the goal from him and tapped it in with the outside of the right foot. Justin would not step on the field for the rest of the game.

Kent would get the go ahead goal within the last few minutes of the game. He played coach for a minute and pulled Joe off the field and subbed him self on. Then went ahead and found the ball at his feet and he shoved it past the goal keeper to make it 10 to 9. He then subbed off and the the defence hold the ball for the last minute of the game for the win. 

The caterer is off to Mexico again and will miss next week's game. Seems like his mexico wife is good with it his American wife is not. 

Jamie learned what a dollar is. She had to American coin dollars that she thought were  foreign coin, but turned out to be one  Sacagawea and another a presidential dollar. 

Sunny was drinking water because he bought a speedo and wants to make sure he fits into it by summer. 

One player that does not want to be named, once played a soccer game on LSD. He scored one goal, had one assist and blew out his ACL all withing a few minutes of playing. This was also the first time he played for that team and might have been his last. 

Lastly we talked about noodles and it turns out you have to stretch the glutton. Now you stretch the glutton and not the gluteus maximus. Some how this all became about while talking about soup. Andy, the bearded one could not follow this conversation he just kept thinking about soup. 






4/11/2023 over 40 indoor Soccer 


The Dune Pumas win. The Dune Pumas win. This win is dedicated to the two coaches that decided to show up for the the game. Coach Sarge and Coach Beard lead the Brewers to a 3 - 1 win. 


Goals were scarce in the first half. Mark was in a fifty fifty challenge in front of the ball and was flipped on his ass with no call early in the game. Adam blocked a shot of his ass that ended up three years off the line and the shooter slapped it with his purse and it didn't.go anywhere. 


Eddie saves two goals in the game.  The first came after a shot to the back post. It was defected and was heading for the back post. He picked it out of the air as he as being pushed into the post and cleared the ball. The second was after Dan came out of the box and was pushed into the wall, with no call, and that ball got pushed into the box. Eddie took three touches before passing it out and saving the goal. 


The first goal in the game was against the Brewers. It started with bad marking and ended in a cluster Fuck of half shots before it ended up in the goal after about ten minutes of scoreless play. This was in the tenth minute of the game. 


Not long after the Dune Pumas would respond with a satisfying team goal. Long lost and made a triumphant return as he passed the ball to Mark. Mark was posted up with his back to the goal and laid the ball off to Adam as he ran through and pounded the ball into the goal. 


At half it was one to one. The other team was not happy with the ball we played the first half with so they switched the ball. After asked why the other beach said they put helium in the ball to make it lighter. Hopping it would lead to more goals. 


The second half was a game of possession. There were some great chances. Jamie took a shot from our side the box towards the upper corner. It was on target but in the last second the keeper fingers pushed it out of the way. Two plays later the coaching staff told her to do the same thing again. She listened and put the ball in the same place. It looked like it was going to go in but was again save at the last second. One of those two should have gone in.


Dan left the goal box three times in this game. The first he collided with a player and won the ball. The player took a while to get up. He cleared a long ball down the line. Lastly he came out didn't win the ball, but caused a distraction. The offensive pay shot, and as Dan was back pedaling got his finger tips on the ball to save the goal. 


Through out the game Adam had a few good chances on goal with his l left foot, but his l ft foot just would not show up. He miss hit three open shots with his off foot through out the game, but with less than three minutes to go he got a pass from Lonny, turned and his left foot showed up and buried the ball into the back netting. Part of the reason he has space to put that ball home.was because Bobby pulled two defenders away him because for  few moments Bobby was open on the back post. 


The last goal was a bit contraveral and went against what the coaching staff suggested. The plan was to keep position of the ball for the last minute of the lat.mintes of the game. The Brewers were up two to one with almost no time on the clock. The order was to keep the position. Of they can get the ball they can't score. Yet after a handful of passes how saw Tim wide open over half and had not choice but to pass him the ball to the most open man.  Tim took two touches and (after Dan yelled keep the ball) Tim took the shot to put the Brewers up by two. He was reprimanded but the coaching staff for going against the plan. He should have passed the ball back and around instead of scoring the spirit braking goal. 


Interesting note from coach Sarge the 

Hindlich maneuver is an appropriate substitution to Heimlich maneuver. 


Revisiting the red head bartender (not in attendance). Joe said she had a two finger gap then further explained the meaning of the thigh gap measurement. Mark, "I think they measure that at the NFL Combine too" Joe may have had beer leave through his nose. Later Mark added they should add this measurement to the miss America pageant.


After talking about Easter plans it was learned that eggs are either a chicken's period or hardened cum balls. Either way people eat them. All you need to do is hold your nose and suck them down. 


Ryan, in celebration of our win, thought we could not lose and bought a few pull tabs for the team. There were some winners, a dollar her and a dollar there, but in the end no money was taken home. Jamie go her cherry back from on one ticket. 


Also Mark came up with a new business idea after Sarge remarked "I'm not a drug addict I just love the smell of cocaine." It was noted that coke does not have a smell so Mark suggested Flavored coke. We were all surprised no one has thought of yet this idea. Since a lot of your taste comes from the smell of things , why not flavor cocaine with pixie sticks or something similar. We could corner the market on this. The caterer has a lot of piece sticks Joe knows how to make drugs, what could go wrong?


Bobby doesn't understand ascii art.

 ( . Y . ) ({}) ( ! ) 8====D~~




4/04/2023 over 40 indoor Soccer 

Ghost Writen


We lost to Wednesday...again.  4-3 this time.


I think the Brewers scored the first two.  Tater snuck a low, hard drive into the near post off a restart from a handball.  Tater also had the assist on the second as he pushed a long pass forward for new guy Mark to run onto.  None of us know why the keeper sat on his line waiting for Mark to catch up to the ball.  His hesitation cost him as Mark fired the initial shot off him hard enough to get it to spin up and over for his own tap into the empty net.


The opponents first goal sparked controversy.  The offensive player had his back to the goal receiving a pass right at the top edge of the arc.  Matola reached through to poke the ball away and the ref felt he got too much of the man along with the ball.  A touch foul barely inside the box on a man with his back to the goal.  That was worth a penalty shot in the ref's mind.  Rooney guessed right and actually dove too far to save what was a horrible effort on the shot.  It grazed Dan's armpit as it went in the net. 


The bad guys scored the next two.  I don't remember number 2.  For number 3, a contested pass to the top of the box left the ball sitting right at the top of the arc.  Two brewer defenders within a few feet of the ball were cemented to the turf as they stared at the ball motionless while an offensive player came from further away to rocket the ball into the back of the net.

Tim got our third goal as he was left with a lot of space from 15 ft out and beat the keeper to the near post.  The keeper should feel very bad for allowing two near post goals.

The game losing goal was from Rooney's left.  There was a scrum against the wall and the bad guy won.  He fired a shot high to the far side netting.


The reffing was suspect for both teams.  Soft fouls calls, obvious calls ignored.  Dominic on the other team was crying about Tator playing too rough with no call and Tator called him a little bitch.  Tator was later leveled at mid field with no call.  Rooney came out on a long throw from the opposing keeper, took the ball and crushed the man.  He whined for a foul while he laid on the ground.


Sunny got himself stuck in the defensive corner with two offensive players pressuring him.  His brilliant idea to get out of it was to slam the ball off the wall as hard as he could...not a terrible option, however, his rebound hit him right in the balls. It was hilarious to everyone except Sunny.


The drinking team won as usual.  We started strong with 5 pitchers on the table for 5 people.

There is a new female, red headed bartender.  Joe likes her and made two comments: red heads and asians are either hot or not...there is no middle; and something about her being two fingers wide.  Matola tried to pet a pussy and got bit now he doesn't like pussy.  College kids are dumb.  Tornados are bad.   Jaime quit her job.



3/28/2023 over 40 indoor Soccer 


Another game another loss. It was not as bad as last week. We did well and played better than we have in a while there was just some unlucky bounces and we just could not score. Final 2 to 4. 


The game started off quick. There was a lot of passing and movement on both sides. The first goal almost came within the first few minutes of the game. The other teams goalie missed trapped a back pass and Andy, the tall one, has an open goal as he ran up to the ball and miss hit it and it hit the ball instead of the goal. This would set the pace for the rest of the half. 


No one scored for the first ten minutes of the first half. It started after Justin check a player into the boards. The ref rightfully gave him a blue card. After only a minute into the power play the other team was able to sneak one into the goal. It was an ugly goal. The ball just bounce to the top of the ark when hit was struck softy, through traffic and just trickled into the goal. 


The second goal came a few minutes after. This one two wasn't good either. Both Adam and Dan misjudged the ball but both got back into position and defended. Adam lead the guy into the corner but shot anyways Dan had all angles covered but the player miss hit the ball and it tricked in. 


Lonny to missed a goal as well. All he needed to do is run through the ball and he would have been able to move it passed the keeper and into the goal. Instead he attempted to shoot it. Instead of going straight to went right into the keepers hands when was come from behind Lonny to get back into the goal. 


Eddie tried to chip the keeper from half as Eddie tends to do. 


Half ended zero to two. Good soccer was being played by both teams. The Brewer should have score at least two or three goals, but instead there were a lot of pasts hit. 


The third goal was once again scored by the other team. This one was the only good goal of the game. It was well struck and just before it got to Dan's hands it dipped to the left, hit his arm and went past him. 


The other team on one more goal before the Dune Pumas got their first goal. This fourth goal our team had a guy buried in the corner but he shot the ball anyway. There was a lot of spin on the ball and it road the wall passed a defender off Dan's leg. It was another ugly goal. 


The Brewers finally got on the board with less than five minutes to go. It was an individual effort by Adam. He got the ball in the corner, had it stolen from him, got it back with two guys on him, lost it again, fought back and won it back with two guys on his back and his back to the goal. He turn and 360 no scoped the goal and it went up and over every on and into the far upper corner and out of the keepers reach. 


Justin was on fire at the end of the game. He got the ball a few times and had two really good shots before finally putting one in. He received the ball at around the eight yard line and sent it home. 


Andy, the tall one has one last effort to score. It was a toe ball from within the box. It found its way through the crowd and straight into the goals hands. The goal only saw it at the last second and he put his hands up trying to shield his face and some how caught the ball. 


At the end of the game we needed the ball back yet two players on the Brewers team seemed happy to the the other team hold the back in there own defense. So Andy the Breaded on stepped up from the back to force the issue. He won the ball and got a good cross off, but it only ended in a shot. Game ended.


Sunny did not play this week but he either wants a hot pocket or got to Hoyt part or Heart park. 


After the game there was some talk about masseuses over massage therapist. Seem one is good for relaxing and the other tend to hurt a little more but loosen up the muscles better. Also one is more likely to have a happy ending. Not sure why no one ever asked a acupuncturist for a happy ending. It might have something to do with needles. 


Jaime followed this up with a store about a man that put on a show with a horse. I guess like a donkey show but with a horse putting his junk into a man's ass. Turns out a horse's ejaculation comes out as such a high speed that it complete messed up the man intestines. 


I was determined not to look this up on the Internet but Dan was convinced I was going to got to pornhub and try to track a video down. Pornhub is two tame for that kind of video so I pointed out I would have to search a more risky site like jizzcum.com seem no one has heard of this site before. It also looks like it was shut down a few months ago. 


In the middle of this conversation, about porn sites and the like, Andy blurted out "doesn't every one own a Fleshlight?" The conversation ended for a second and it turns out this was the first time Jamie ever heard the term. She kept thinking we where talking about flashlight and didn't understand any of the conversation. It was only after Dan was bold enough to risk his google search algorithm and pulled up a few pictures of them and explained it. Andy does not own a Fleshlight and he never went home to search donkey show. Yet I kind of wonder how you clean those. Bobby suggested using a lining of some kind. I would assume that would just be a condom. 


Lastly bobby might be part of a Eastern European mod. He was wearing an pull adidas sweat suit. 




Justin pointed out that this is how playing over 40 feels like most games.

ok lets do this?

3/23/2023 over 40 indoor Soccer 

Ball went shit. 


You had to be there, you should have been there. 


We lost. Three subs and and no goals. 


Lost by ten. 


One guy was the cause of four of them 


Two own goals. 


Some of us got tired. 


It was an eleven thirty game. In the PM.


More than half the team would have taken the forfeit tie over playing. Three really wanted to play.  


Jamie is getting her taste back after it getting knocked out of her a few weeks ago.


Corrections for last weeks recap will not be made.  


Kent never showed up. 


Sunny has not scored in weeks. (he might not have played in weeks)


The book is almost always better than the movie....exception Lord of the Rings. 


Some people on the team have not read a book from front to back in over ten years. 


Reading is fundamental. 


And now you know. And knowing is half the battle. 


I really didn't want to write this one. 




3/17/2023 coed indoor Soccer 


 There was a Kent sighting 




3/15/2023 40 indoor Soccer 


 Another late soccer game. Same time as last week and basically the same outcome as last week. There were fewer goals and the Brewers played better in the second half this time. The final was 4-4.


The less said about the first half the better, but there are some highlights and a few lowlights. Adam accidently meg a player twice in one play. Andy the Caterer, while under pressure passed the ball back to Dan who was standing in his goal box, and right next to him was a player from the other team completely unmarked. Hell, Dan was the closest person to him. No goals were given as a result of this. 


For the most part the team did not show up to play. The Dune Pumas looked sluggish and unmotivated. There was no energy and no creativity. This lasted for the entire first half. Two ugly goals were scored by the other team relatively quickly and two more were scored by the lazy defense. 


Hick ref was one of our refs for this game. He was in rare form. He seemed to yell, more than normal, at players. The best part about this was at one point he called a foul on Gil. Gill said something to him and they both started yelling at each other. I am not sure what the two were yelling about, I assume the foul, but I could not make any of that out and I was standing right not to Gill. 


This ref also called a foul in the middle of the field, and as you would expect Adam was involved. Adam held the ball defending it from an attacking player. Once he passed the ball off, he gave a quick little elbow into the players chest. The other player was not happy about this and kicked Adam in the back of his leg, from behind. Now we knew there was going to be a call here and hick reg ran up to Adam and gave him a blue card and then turned to the opposing and also gave him a blue card for retaliation. Now we all know the rule: any retaliation is an automatic  yellow. The other ref had to go up to him and explain that before the card was given. In total there were 6 cards shown in the game. Only two Pumas got cards, Adam and Jaime. 


End of half the Pumas had not scored a single goal and were down by four. 


The second half got better, it took a while, but it got better. The other team would not score a single goal in the second half, the intensity of the game increased and good chances on goal were starting to show up. But the first goal came from a penalty, and once again Adam was involved. He went up for a head ball, which he won, and another player hit him from behind. The shot just missed, hitting the crossbar, while Adam laid on the ground. Gil took the penalty and scored. 


Note: hick ref called the penalty and the ref on our side of the field was made because that was his to call. He also started to complain to our bench that hick ref was having a night and could not understand so of the calls being given.  


Goal number two came shortly after and it was another penalty. Mark had the ball in the box and was hit from behind. No one seemed to want to take this penalty because the three closed Pumas near the ball all ran a way from it and subbed. Andy the Caterer stepped up and buried it home. 


The game was coming to an end and with less than three minutes left in the game the third goal was scored. Adam found some open space and got the ball past the keeper. This gave the team some life and scored the last goal with about thirty seconds left in the game. Eddie received the ball right in front of the goal and tapped it in. After the goal as he was heading back to the line the ball hit the back back of his heel. In a effort to kill time he touch it two more times as the buzzer went off. Hick ref did not like this and added seven minutes back on the clock. 


The game ended four to four and the Dune Pumas were once again able to snatch a tie from the jaws of defeat.


The drinking part of the games started right after and no one was wasting any time. We started off right away with four pitchers for six players. Conversation started normal. Some were planning a road trip to Michigan to pick up a refrigerator. Some complained about the ref and the game and even others told jokes.


Yet soon a random conversation would be heard. It started off innocent. Simple talk about Ken who got hurt last week. Seems he may have torn his meniscus. Andy, the Bearded on, talked a bit about going to the doctor and how Mark has never had surgery and that he might be due. It was suggested that if he does go under the knife he should have everything fixed all at once. Take out the appendix, gallbladder clean out the heart and maybe give him a little enhance meant below the belt. He asked if he could a remote for his penis so just by pushing a button he would be ready to go. 


Once the words "remote control for my penis" were said a few eyes and ears turned. No explanation was give the statement explains it self. One person misheard what was said and asked "Detachable Penis?"  You put the two together and you see the future "Remote control Detachable Penis?"


Eventually talk started drifting to girls in bars, strip clubs old nicknames and whale tails (which does not mean Big Ass. Than back to strip clubs. 


Everyone seems to have a story about a strip club and a few were told, but Joe seems to have the most. He once walked into strip club in a strip mall. When he and his friends walked in the music stopped and people looked their way. There was a black one armed midget wearing a neckless with big medallion around his neck standing on a bar stool spanking a girl and some of the sexiest c-section scars you could even hope to see. They spent some money there, notice they were the only ones spending money and left. On the way out the girls asked them to stay. The answer was Fuck No. 


He also watched a ping pong show at another crazy club. She was shooting them into the crowd. The next act was a girl who could pick up quarters and then slowly drop them onto the stage. I believe she might have also picked up a bottle or a glass at one point too. 


One more store from Andy the Caterer. during his batcher party he was given an hat that said "Just let me finger fuck you." He wore that hat all night until he went to the strip club. The girls loved his had and it had been passed around a few time. He was determent to leave the bar with out it, but he ended up losing track of it. He ask someone where his hat was and described it. There was no hesitation they said "yes I know right where it is." Sometime during the night he crossed off finger and ended up at home with the hat. Years later his twelve year old son found the hat while helping clean around the house. Andy is keeping the hat and he is going to hand it down to his son when he gets married and hope his son does the same. 


Other notes with no  context: Joe was heard saying "I would wear fuck me pumps." Andy the Bearded One  almost missed the part about the one armed midget. When asked why he was quoted as saying , "Sorry, I was thinking about soup." The Caterer nickname out side of the Brewers is BOX. A coach once tried to give Jamie the nick name Max Truck and it has nothing to do with a big ass. After the game Joe was walking funny. On my drive home I saw a sign the said EBT ATM lottery and I'm still wondering how that game works. 




3/7/2023 40 indoor Soccer 


It was some what late Tuesday over fourth game turned into last minute goal to tie the game 5 to 5. 


We had to do some recruiting for this game. And will probably have to do the same for the next two weeks. This games was at 10:30pm, so is next week and then there is a 11:30pm game. Some people did not want to play because of the late game and some are just injured. 


Some of the walking wounded show up. The most noticeable was Jamie. Last week she blocked a shot with he ribs and at the time she didn't think anything of it. She finished the game, had a few drinks and went to bed. She woke up the next morning feeling like she broke a rib. Not we don't know for sure but it is either broken or bruised. From my experience they feel about the same. 


Yet as I said she still came to play. She wore a brace around her stomach and started the game. She still played well and didn't seem to have a whole lot of mobility issues. But one only her second shift she went in for a fifty fifty ball. She got there first but the other guy came in late and hip checked her off her feet. She bounced once and then hit the wall mostly with the back of her head. There is a good chance she got a concussion from the hit. She did not come back into the game after that. 


Not only did she play but she also got the first goal. Adam took a long shot and it hit Jamie in the chest, the ball changed direction slightly and went past the keeper. 


The second goal came from Eddie. He was a lot half fried and saw that the keeper was well off his line. So with no hesitation he lofted the ball over the keeper, just sneaking the ball below the crossbar. Now we have seen him attempt that move many times before and this is only the second time it went into the goal. 


The next goal was a bit sloppy. Andy the caterer had the ball in the corner was was trying to keep possession, he saw movement in front of the goal and tried to pass the ball to around the 5 yard line, but miss hit it. Instead it went between the goalie and the wall were Mark (aka John) was able to tap it in. 


Bobby got the fourth goal from a pass from the corner. Not sure who feed him the ball, but it is important that Bobby got a goal. 


Late in the first half is where things started to go wrong. Adam tried to pass the ball back to one of his own team mates, but never put any zip on the ball. It was easily intercepted by the other team and it was one on one with Dan. He did his best but it slid passed him and kissed the left post as it went in. 


The half ended 4 to 1. 


The second half the Brewers continued to move the ball well and defend halfway decent. Yet a few minutes into the half things got worse. There was some bad defending, some unlucky passes and bounces, as well as 10 minutes and 4 unanswered goals. We went from wining to being down by one. I blame Jamie for not coming back into the game. 


It was not all lost. With a minute left to go in the game, Eddie found him self with the ball on the top of the box. He looked as if he was going to try to beat two players in front of him and be the hero, but instead he rewarded a well time run to his right and split the two players with a pass to Andy, the Bearded one. He took a touch looked up, heard his brother yell as he was falling to the grown , the keeper in his face and then shot the ball. The ball hit the tips of the keepers hands and slowly went up and over. The ball hung in the air for a long time as the keeper turned and Andy watch from the ground as the ball made it way towards the goal line. The keeper never got to it and it bounced on the line and into the goal. And that is how the game ended. 


As it turns out Andy the caterer is now an international soccer player. While working or something in Mexico he was able to play in a soccer game. 


Also it seems like most of not all of the over 40 Dune Puma's have has at least one concussion. The most and maybe the worst where arguably Joe our retired bomb squally cop. He might be the only one of us to have a bomb almost blow his helmet off his head. 


Notable moment I the second half. Andy, the Beard one, challenged one of the other teams players for the ball in front of his own bench. The other guy leaned in his and Andy grabbed a handful of his shirt thinking he was going to be out run. Both players went down and the wish was blown. Andy thought he had been caught but the ref awarded the goal to the Brewers for a free kick. As Andy walked past the bench with a smile on his face he asked, ”you saw that right?" Joe also smiling said "we saw that." 


Lastly things you can say to to you husband you can't say to anyone, not even your husband. "Dan, that was almost as good as my mom's." 


 

  

 

 



2/28/2023 40 indoor Soccer 

Updated by CHAT GPT (via Justin)


Oh, baby, it was the start of the indoor soccer season, and it was hot and heavy! The game was hard-fought, and the score was a tantalizingly close 1-2. Even with the low score, it was far from dull, with both teams showing some serious possession and skill. The first half ended in a steamy 0-0 tie.


Things really heated up in the second half when the Brewers got a man up. Adam went in for a 50/50 ball, but things got rough and he got flattened against the boards. Ooh, baby! The first goal came in the middle of the half, with two Brewers players challenging for the ball, and the attacking player popped it into the net.


Things got even hotter when they scored their second goal off a cross that went right through the defender. There was some debate over whether it should have been called or not, but either way, the goal stood. Jamie kept the team in the game with a beautiful right-footed shot that bent around her marking man and went into the upper right corner of the goal. Oh, baby, that shot was just too sexy for words!


The game was full of opportunities, with three one-on-ones with the keeper, but none of them went in. Dan made a big save with a full stretch dive to stop a perfect shot into the upper right corner. Before the game, there were rumors that the Brewers would be short a few players, but four players stepped up to help out. The running wounded award went to Andy, Billy, Tator, Justin, and Andy the bearded one for their heroic efforts.


The Brewers dominated the game, with more shots on goal and more time of possession. They just needed to finish with some goals! And let me tell you, with almost any other goalkeeper in goal, they would have had some serious scores. Only a small group of four stuck around to play on the drinking team, which was surprising given the early game time.


And let's not forget the warm-up routines! One player just put his hands on his hips, elbows out, and tapped the side of his hand into his hip bone. Simple, yet effective! Another player was doing yoga before the game, but then things got a little crazy when he started leaning against the wall and moving his hips like he was trying to have sex with it. Woohoo!


And last but not least, Dan once went bowling and got into some kinky finger play with someone else's glasses. There were three major styles - the three-finger, the one-finger, and the two-finger. The three-finger seems to be the most popular, if you know what I mean. Oh, baby, this soccer game was just too hot to handle!

 

  

 

 



Have you meet Kurt's Brother?

2/28/2023 40 indoor Soccer 

Original post for the week


Start of the new and last indoor season. It was a hard fought game. 1-2


Even with it being a low scoring game that did not mean it was a dull game. There was a lot of possession good possession for both teams and the half ended zero/zero. 


In the second half the Brewers went up a man. Adam when in for a 50/50 ball toward the side wall. He got to the ball first but quickly ran out of room and the other player flattened him against the boards. 


The first goal came in the middle of the second half. It was kind of a strange thing. Two Brewers players where challenging for a ball. The play shoot at a side angle and the ball just popped straight into the air and was lost for a minute. The attacking play it found it first and it just went into the goal. 


Shortly after that they got there second one off a cross. The shooter went right through the ball and through the defender. There was no call and the goal stood. There is about a 50/50 split as to if it should have been called or no. 


Jamie kept the team in the game with and beautiful right foot shot from the top of the goal box. With on guy defending her and just about every other defender also in the box, she bent it around her marking man, between the next and over the keeper into the upper right corner. I have no idea how the keeper even saw the shot to react. 


No more goals would come after that. Yet many many opportunities would be attempted. There were three one on ones with the keeper and none of them went in. 


Dan had a big save in the game. The shot came in from distance and it was perfect place into the upper right corner. From middle of goal he dove and was apple to get his had on it at full stretch. 


Before the game there were rumors that the Brewers would be short a few players.  The call was answer. Four players that could have been on the injured list came to help. We ended up having eleven people for the game. The Running wounded award this week got to one of the Andys, Billy, Tator, Justin with an honorable mention Andy the bearded one..


For the most part the Brewers dominated the game. They had more shots on goal and more time of possession. Now all that is needed are the goals. It was said, after the game, that with almost any other goalkeeper in goal and some of those would have gone in..


Only a small group of four stuck around to play on the Drinking team. This was a bit of a surprise since it was such  an early game. 


Two new ways to warmup for a soccer game were witnessed. The first was simple and required starching at all. Just put you hand on you hips, elbows out and then keep tapping the side you hand into your hip bone. 


The second was a little more disturbing. It started of fine. A fourth year old guy was doing yoga before the game to loosen up. Normal. Yet then he started leaning against the wall. First one knee down and chest into the wall. He switched knees. He was moving his hips a lot so, it kind of looked like he was trying to have sex with the wall.


Dan once went bowling while someone else glasses which lead into putting fingers in holes. There seems to be three major styles. The three finger, the one finger and the two finger. Three finger seems to be the most popular. 

  

 

 



2/14/2023 40 indoor Soccer 


Very late in the game the Brewers were down 3 to 5. And in the final moments of the game Adam snuck in our final goal. It was not pretty and Jamie did most of the work winning a ball in the corner and it trickled past the goalie and right into Adam lap. He did not hesitate, he stole the goal from Jamie and later said it was not going toward the back of the net. 


Joe was so excited about popcorn after the game he knocked over his beer and spilled all over the table. He and Jamie went to get something to clean it up and along with rags Joe came back with a new cup of beer. It seems he told the girl pouring beer what he did and she gave him a new glass of beer. This was not the end of that. When he went back with the wet rags he also took one of the empty pitchers back with him and told her that while cleaning up he spilled the pitcher. She filled up the pitcher for free and he was named MVP of the night. 


At some point in the last week or so Uihlein must have found a little extra money because there have been a few new things. First they have new lights in the parking lot. I guess some cars have been broken into, or stolen. They also added a few arcade games to the mix as well as pull tabs. Lastly and the more important thing is they fixed the urinal in the bathroom. Well fixed is a loose description. There is still ducted tape on the porcelain.  

 

 



While some people played soccer this last week, some of us were playing in Puerto Rico

2/7/2023 40 indoor Soccer 


Recap: Guest writer

This week we played the blenders daiquiris who came into the week with one win and a -33 goal diff.  The dune pumas came out with a comfortable 8-4 win.


Eddie opened the scoring early with a casual low shit to the near post.  Adam scored the next one soon later on his own rebound.  Gil got the next one then Adam got his second, once again on his own rebound.  Adam then scored his hat trick goal...off his own rebound.  The next one was scoured by Adam off his own rebound.  Adam scored his fifthf goal of the night from his own rebound.  Eddie got the 8th and final goal of the night by powering the ball threw the keeper.  Jaime and Bobby were there.  Joe actually put a few shots on goal. Sunny missed a PK.  Joe fell down.  Mark had a diving header.  Any scoring at all was impressive considering the concentration required to beat a keeper wearing a Hawaiian shirt, jorts, and a thong ( super hero style...underwear on the outside).


Along the way we feel asleep a few times and gave up 4 goals.  They were all due to general laziness that allowed an odd man rush transition.  Several of them were toe balls.  Other than that there wasn't much of a threat.  Dan didn't really have to make any tough saves and in fact never dove at all in the game.


Other notes:

- someone on the team once dropped acid, ate half a box of dog biscuits, and snorted purplesaurus rex.  I won't say who as it may upset his boss, the district attorney, if this info got out

- a naked threesome is better than a clothed one.  Wise words

- Jaime ran a coaching session using a popcorn box and beer cups.  Moral of the story, when defending one one on one, push the ball to the outside...always.

- "little asians" is a racist phrase 

- mark watched a guy Chop down a tree with an axe in the on ramp median at 35th and i-94.  

- man baby fell in a garbage can, stood up with it still on his head and ran around bouncing off walls.

- sarge is king of the door hardware.  Mark believes door hardware shouldn't exist.

- some things you read throughout this recap may not be entirely true







2/1/2023 40 indoor Soccer 


The scoring started early and unexpectedly. Gill pressured the goalie, who was trying to, and in the box Gill picked the ball off the keepers feet and tapped it over the line for the first goal. 


That did not last long. They scored shortly after that to tie the game. 


The Dune Pumas would score next to take the lead again. This time there was some close quarters passing from Eddie to Bobby, shot just wide of the goal and finely it came off the wall to Sarge's waiting feet wide open to score. 


Eddie made it three when he took a penalty after the  tall Andy got foaled in the box. 


Andy would once again get foaled and held later in the second half by the same guy, yet it was not called. The guy, with both hands, grabbed Andy's arm and held him. Everyone except the refs saw it. 


Later that same guy would would take out Lonny in the open field. 


Tator took the ball deep into the corner and dropped the ball right into Bobby's lap at the top of the box. With one solid touch he drove that ball straight into the back of the next, He made it look so easy.


The prettiest goal of the night would be the three short passes between Mark to The bearded one to Tator and then into the goal. Tator was able to hit both post from a vary low angle shot. 


The last goal was scored by yet another Andy. This time The bearded one went in for a fifty/fifty ball at middle field. He won the challenge and got to the ball first, but was body checked after winning the challenge. As he was getting up l, The Caterer received the ball in open space and went to goal. 


Final 8 to 4


Dan made some good saves. He saved two goals with is feet in a row. The bench could be heard screening "use your hands" "he does know he can use his hands right?"


Some would say that was a bit dickish. 


Words of advice from the wise Mark, ”never have a baby with your cousin." 






1/24/2023 40 indoor Soccer 


Last week's recap revised. 


Original recap, guest writer


"Here's your recap:

-we lost.  It was 5-1, i think.  maybe 4-1.  I dunno.

-dan got scored on a penalty kick that he wasn't ready for.

-gil had a nice goal.

-ryan watched dan, jaime, matola, and joe drink beer.  It was torture."


Additions:


Seems like there was more to this penalty than meets the eye. Details are screechy at this point. But from the things I hear, the fowl in question may have been out side the box when it occurred.  


Either way the penalty was awarded and the ref put the ball on the spot. Without warning the other teams player shot the ball. Dan was not ready. Dan never heard a whistle, nor was he asked if he was ready. Reminder this was a penalty not a dead ball.  It was  counted as a goal. 


There was was a sitting of a man baby in a game after the Dune Puma's finished. It is said that this grown man ran as if he was just learning to run. His back was straight and there was no side to side movement. Just straight lines and slow gradual turns. 





1/17/2023 40 indoor Soccer 


The return of Sarg is something we did not ever expect to see. After two years and three reinjures Sarg is back and ready to play. 


Unfortunately his come back was not what the Dune Pumas would have hoped for. Maybe we asked to much from him, maybe he was not ready, maybe it had nothing to do with his return. Either way, after leading for most of the game, the Brewers would lose this game 3 to 4. 


There were high hopes going into this game. Only one player was late, but unlike last week, the game did not start early. (editors note: the players called out last week for being late actually should up before posted start time. The game started early and they are not at fault)


The Pumas scoured the first and second call to this shoot out. 


Gill received the ball near the top of the box and smacked it home with his off foot and put it past the keeper. It would be a while before the ext goal. 


Eddie got the second late in the first half. The entire bench was yelling at him to shoot as he trapped the ball right around the penalty box. He ignored these suggestions and to somewhere between 4 and 6 touches before sneaking the call over the keeper and into the back of the net. 


The half ended this way. Two to zero is what Billy would call "the worst lead in football. "


For most of the second half there were still no goal. There were chances by all. But Dad came up big when the defence failed and there was no creativity in the offensive half for the Pumas. There was a lot of possession in the back and the midfield, but we could not get a good shot on goal without the keeper getting in the way. 


Mid of the second half the other team were able to sneak in there first goal. There was a miss communication in the defence and they snuck some in. But still it was only 2 to 1. 


Yet a little bit later they scored again. This time is was because a miss timed sub, leading to a three on two advantage. This would become a theme in the last five minutes of the game. 


Eddie had a goal called back to put the Pumas into the lead once again, but after he was pushed to the ground he hit the ball with his foot. The ball sailed in a high ark I've the keeper and over me as I watch the call just miss the cross bar and land in the goal. There was a whistle. It was not for the goal but for dangerous play. The refs ignored the fowl, but the goal was pulled back and still 2 to 2. 


Honorable mention at this point is going to be The Caterers shot/pass. He did everything right at this point. It really does not matter if he was trying to score or pass the ball. He hit the call, with some vigor, toward the far post. It went a bit wide, but Lonie was right where he would have been to tap the ball into the goal. He missed. Not the goal he missed the ball. Admitted it was a rocket, but all he needed to do with get in front of it. No one blames anyone, it was a difficult one to get Infront of. But since Kurt was not at the game, we might a well blame him this week. 


Justin would like to make one thing clear. When he PASS the ball to Andy in the corner at a high speed, what looked like a shot, was a pass.  This is good to know. The pase was of a shot. The accuracy was of a pass to one of our players in the corner. 


Another bad subbing, on our side, lead to a three on two. The other team found the open man in the corner, who found the mostly open man in the middle of the box. Score 2 to 3 


For the first time in 35 minutes we were losing. This did not lat long.  From all reports Tator was able to get another goal to tie it up. He pulled the ball out of the air with his right shoulder, passed the defender he was marking, and slotted the ball left of the keeper and into the goal. 


We could still win this. Or at least  a tie?


Nope....more bad defense. Or more to the point, more bad subs. The Pumas had a good defense, four on four and everyone marked, but in a poor timed sup the dynamic changed and the other team was able to find a free man in the corner, and like the goal before, had time to find a free man in the box to tap the ball into the back for the goal. 


As I like to do, I will say Dan had a good game. He saved my mistakes in the defense with some great saves. All the one on ones he blocked. 


Sarg wants to go back to Black, because once you go black you never go back. I don't think he likes the yellow jerseys.


If anyone left a pair of kids soccer shoes in the players box, let uihlein know. 


It also seems like there is a lack of good water proof sock. There was a lot of talk about socks. Wool socks are might not be the end all be all. Seems there might be a market for plastic socks. I would suggest they be made of  Pick n Save plastic bags. They always worked on winter soccer Saturday practices. 


Words of wisdom: you have to score more than three goals to win an indoor soccer game. 


Edit coming tomorrow............




after the game the refs must have posted that Brewers won the game. lets see if this stands.

1/10/2023 40 indoor Soccer 


Really late game this week. The Dune Pumas play Flatus at 11:30pm on Tuesday. On paper, or should I say the website, the Brewers won the game 11-7. In reality the score was flipped. We lost but it was close and we would have won if not for the last few minutes of the second half. 


The Brewers did not score the first goal. Yet the Ilecki brothers hooked up for the Brewers first goal shortly after. It was just the two of them versus three players from the other team. Adam took the ball from half and dribbled into the corner pulling all three his way. He found a little space and passed the ball to Andy who was wide open at the penalty spot. Andy tapped the ball over the keeper, into the cross bar and into the goal to tie it up. He was heard, after scoring, chastising his bother saying, "did you have to run so fast?" Andy then subbed out. 


From there the Brewers went down 3 to 1. It took a while and there was some good possession buy both teams at this point. Eddie got his first one before Adam got a second  assist, of the night, to Lonny to tie it up at threes. 


It was at this point the Pumas fell apart for a few minutes. Three unanswered goals would slip in against them as the half ended. 


Eddie got two more goals in the second half to give him a hat trick. Both were basically the same. He receive the ball in the middle of the box and took one touch to beat a defender and pushed the ball into the goal. One of these goal was yet again assisted by Adam. 


In the second half Brewers brought the goal difference to two at one point. That would be the closest they would get from this point on.


Joe had the weakest goal in game. He took a pass from a dead ball and took a shot. Everyone thought the goalie was going to save it. The ball was so close to the post that when the keeper went down for it the ball hit his hands and his foot. As we all watched in amazement it trickled though and just over the line. It never hit the net. 


Now we talk about Eddie again. He was dribbling the ball out of the back. He beat two people to get out of the defensive zone. A third play joined in as he held the ball with three people on his back. He beat all of them at least once with a move before he was finally hacked from behind and went down. The foul was called but while he was on the ground he swung his leg toward the opposing player and caught his leg. The refs were not having this and gave him a yellow card. 


The Brewers got scored on while being a man down but did not get their player back because when you get a yellow card it is a hard two minutes. 


You could tell the game was getting a little choppy after this. The other team got a blue card shortly after this for dissension when swore at the hick ref after disagreeing with a call. 


Now it is four versus four when Gill dribbled the ball into the box and get fouled from behind. This leads to another blue card and a penalty. Gil does not miss these and he scored the last goal for the Pumas. 


There was no drinking after the game. 


Two players showed up late for the game and one never showed up at all. 


Editors note: remember no matter how your body feels after the game and into the morning. We do this for fun. 



Edit: the game started early and not one was late.




1/3/2023 40 indoor Soccer 

First game of the year. 11-2


A late recap this time, but that also sums up how we started the game. It took the Dune Pumas a while to get into the flow of the 9:30pm game. Everyone start slow and seemed not ready to play, even though almost everyone was on time and warmed up time on and off the field. 


There was a quick goal scored against us within minutes of the start and still the motivation was not being shown. But after some awhile The Dune Pumas scored a forgettable goal because no one could be sure who put it in. 


More time goes by and the other team scores again. This time it was Dan's fault. He will admit it. He misplayed the ball off the wall and could not handle it as it hit the ground right in front of the goal. An opposing player was close enough to him to get a toe on the ball and put them in the lead, again. This is why goals should not do a no drink January. 


Now we are losing 1-2, but this was the turning point. Within moments of the kick off Bobby strutted down the field to put one past the goal to tie it up for the second time. This was the wake up call the team needed. Five more unanswered goals were scored before half and the other team would not score another goal the entire game. 


The game ended 11-2 for the good guys with multiple people scoring and a few scoring two goals. We could not remember who scored all the goals, but let's do our best to figure out some of them.


Eddie chipped the keeper, because Eddie chips the keeper. It took a few tries and each of the attempts got closer and closer. First he hit the net high, then he hit the net high again but a little bit lower, the third shot hit the wall and finally the third went in. The progression was staggering and I am sure most people would have give up after the third miss.


Jamie ended up with one, but it was in the first half and, as I pointed out, most of the team was asleep in the first half and could not remember most of it. As a side note: Jaime took at least three impressive rocket shots, as she does, but all of them went well high of the goal. 


The bearded one ended up with two one in each half. The second one took two attempts to beat the keeper. The ball came of the wall from a well placed chip over the defense's heads into the corner. It was trapped and shot with the left for into the keeper and came right back to him. It was then struck with the outside of the right and snuck right between the goalies legs. 


The tall Andy and Bobby were involved with the first goal for the Bearded one. Andy brought the ball up and passed the ball across the goal to Bobby in the opposite corner. Under pressure Bobby passed it back into the middle of the goal, a little off target, where The Bearded One had to stretch his left leg out so far that he had to put his right knee on the ground to redirect it on goal. 


There was also an own goal scored in the game by the other team. I think Lonny I think The Caterer crossed the ball into the box right into Jason's path, but the man defending him got there first and scored on his own team. Jason had it the entire way. 


Jason would get his later. The ball was passed to him during a two on one. He received it in the box, paused and took a stutter step to fake out the keeper and passed the ball into the corner. There is some debate as to if he meant to make that move. Observers later asked him is he miss handled it and almost tripped on the ball, but in the end no one cares.


The Bearded One could have had a hat trick in this game, but was forced to make a decision at the last minute. He had beaten one player and had a clear shot on goal. All that he would have needed to do was beat the keeper.Instead he saw Bobby finishing the run to the far post and decided to play the ball for a tap in. After the goal he was heard to have said "The one was for you Bobby." In reality he was mad that Bobby forced him to make the choice in the first play and wished Bobby would not have made that run.


Lonny did not score. He may have had the most opportunities, in the box and right on the line, but he could not get the right touch on the ball to put in the back of the net. 


There were other goals and in total the drinking team could only account for nine of them. Yet we all assume that all three of Andy's scored at least one which would bring us to the total of eleven. One of those Andy's got two.


The drinking team was small this week and smaller than the number that hung out after the game. Two members of the drinking team have decided that January is a month for not drinking. This would become more upsetting as we found out that they are counting the number of pitchers  consumed by each team and will be giving out a prize to the team that drank the most. Without them the team of five dropped down to three. We are off to a slow start with only two pitchers consumed. I could be worse next week with an 11:30pm game.


There was a lot of talk after the game about construction and brick laying. Some naughty dry wall talk followed by how much landscaping costs. No one knows why change orders only go one way and you always round up to the nearest dollar. 


And since this was an over forty's team, there was a lot of talk about past and nagging injuries. Yet no one is willing to quit the beautiful game. 


Lastly: we all hope for the best for Damar Hamlin. The Milwaukee Brewers FC had a similar scare during a coed indoor game where one of there member was given CPR on the field in the middle of the game.  Joe, one of the Dune Pumas, helped save our team mates life before the ambulance got there.







12/20 over 40 indoor Soccer 


Last game of the season and the year. It was a semi successful game. It was not a win, but it was not a total loss. It was a tie. 6- 6 to end the game after the Brewers Dune Pumas lead more than half the game. 


The Brewers took the lead early and racked up 4 goals before the Wednesdays even scored one. Yet would blow that lead with 3 unanswered points before scoring again.  Even Wallee the ref would point this out after the 3rd goal. Yet the Brewers would be in the lead, or tie,  untill late in the second half where they would be down 6-5 for a short time.


 I will do my best to put goals in the right order, but since I was playing, for most of the game,  I will not guarantee any such thing.


Bobby got the first goal and once again showing he can put the ball in the back of the net, It took him a few tries, all in the same attempt.  Once he received the ball in the box he shot the ball (save), shot the ball after it fell at his feet a second time (blocked) and shot the ball one more time for a goal. I guess the third time's the charm and it started the team off on the right foot. 


Eddie also got a goal once he won the ball at half field. Adam ran left, calling for the ball the entire time, while Eddie  dribbled the ball right at the only defender between him and the goal. We will give Adam the assist on this one since he was such a bother that he pulled the defender towards him leaving Eddie a nice clear shot on goal. He beat the keeps with a well placed shot to put the team up yet another goal.


Now I am not sure of this, but I think the third goal was by The Caterer. He made a half field run without the ball to receive the ball from Joe who threaded the needle between two defenders right into Andy's stride. Some would say Andy's first touch was a little big. Yet it was still within his grasp. He touched the ball for the second time and slid it under the keeper right before they ran into each other.


Jamie stole a goal for Justin after Jason Took a shot from distance. The ball bounced off the wall and toward Justin, who was ready to pick it out of the air, but Jamie got in the way and it bounced off her shoulder and into the goal. There is not doubt that Justin would have put this in if it had come to him. He would also have another chance a little later when the ball came off the keeper and he had a chance to nood it into the goal from point blank range. It was a solid redirection, but the keeper changed direction and was able to get the save.


Late in the second half Jamie would have another chance to put a goal in the back of the net. Jason received the ball at the top of the arch. Instead of doing the Jason thing and turning and shooting dropped the ball to Jamie a few yards back. She took the shot from distance and it just lasered  under the crossbar and into the goal. It was remarked late that no one thought she should take that shot. She has a reputation of putting these shots well over the goal, but this one was perfect.


There were two injuries to come out of this game.  Both the Ilecki brothers would come out of this game with a little more pain than they went into it with. Adam was cross checked into the boards late in the game and was almost bent in half when he hit the wall. He laid on the ground for a while holding his back. He did not play the rest of the game (two minutes) Adam also jammed his thumb when he hit the ground before this. 


The other Ilecki was also injured in the second half. Andy ended up taking a shot on goal. The keeper saved it. Yet in the motion of that shot Andy felt something give in his quad. . After he went down he looked around to see what hit him and after looking it was noticed that there was no rock around, no randam shoe and no players around that might have hit him. Now it is still early, but after not seeing a doctor it has been concluded that he pulled something. 


Have a pleasant non denominational holiday event.





12/13 over 40 indoor Soccer 


There were a few goals scored tonight. The final score was 16 - 2 but the score board stopped counting at 13 - 2. For the most part everyone scored today, with two exceptions. 


We started off quick with a few goals and because of how many, I could no longer tell you who scored first. But I will do my best with the highlights in no particular order. 


Justin had a fancy goal in the first half. He was on the post with the ball, keeper at his back, goal at his back when he spun around and dragged the ball around and into the back of the goal. It was not exactly a back heel, more like a wrap around goal. 


Billy came off  injured reserve to lead the scoring total with five total goals and four assists. Two of his goals came from an assist from Andy, the bearded one. And two of his goals he assisted him self. He was on fire. Not bad for a guy that said before the game that he was out of shape. He didn't even play the entire game on the field.  He would take some time off from scoring and play a little goal keeper late in the second half. He did not let anyone score on him. 


While Billy was in the goal Dan came out and decided to play a little bit of offence. He scored two goals. The first he made a bold run up the line and hit the wall with his body as hard as he hit the bad into the goal. 


Over all there was a lot of good passing around the front of the goal. There was an Andy to Andy goal where the Caterer got one of his two goals after he  ran nearly the full field to receive the ball across the goal and he just hammered it home. Straight as a arrow. 


Sunny scored twice. 


Jamie had a few good shots but most of them went well above the goal. She did not score at all. The other player that did not score was Mark. He has a few good passes but not much more to say about that. 


Late in the second half Justin decided to toy with one of the other teams players. There was a fifty/fifty ball that Justin collected easily. Yet the other player was trying to get the ball away from him. Justine just held the ball at his feet for a bit then beat the player and moved up field a foot or two. He then decided to wait for the player to catch up to him and beat him again. I think he was trying to make a friend. 


Yet this was not the dick move of the game. Eddie would take that honor when late in the game, after the score board stopped counting our goals. He went one on one with a defender, megged him and then passed the ball past the keeper. It was dirty and somewhat embarrassing for the player, but it was a nice goal. 


Andy, the Bearded one, score two goals in the night. The surprising thing about this is that neither of them were score with the outside of the right foot. There was one shot like that but it did not go in. The two goal were both scored with the old rusty gate,  left foot and well placed.


Tim also got a goal but he should have had two, but if he would have scored on his second attempt Andy would not have had  his second left footed goal of the game 30 seconds into the second half and then suped out. 


After the game there was some talk about good looking ass holes. But it's not what you might think, the ass while was a person....we have all met a person like this. 


There was a little bit of hate directed at one of the workers at the complex. Not sure the hate was justified. But the story I heard was one of the players on our team once asked her if she could borrow one shoe from the lost and found since she forgot her's. I guess the worker said no in a vary short and insulting manner. This lead to some insults about fighting and tearing her a second vagina. It as at this point Adam heard one of the worst things he could ever hear. Yet something that has been said many times and might have been inappropriate. I am sorry, but it was said "you would not need to find it just Fuck the folds ..... What no one has ever been whaling before?" Nope I am not proud of this but it was said. 


Oh and it turns out Billy is short for William. Seems like not everyone knows this. 


Robert did not show up this week. Neither did Bobby. 




This is Dan, Dan is our keeper. Dan was not playing on a Brewers team when this happened, But this is Dan.

12/06 over 40 indoor Soccer 


A win is a win, but today we did not win. It was a hard game and the Dune Pumas should have done better, but a 6 -4 loss sounds worse than it was. 


To start, our defense was bad. We could hold our own on team defense for the most part, but when it comes to stopping breakaways...there were just to many. At one point there was a 3 on 1 that ended up in a goal. There was a 4 on 2 the ended in a goal. There was a 2 on 1 that ended in a goal. No one blames any of the players in these plays but these kind of things can't happen over and over again. Well maybe I blame Mark for one of these....he could have played the 3 on 1 a little better and at least marked two of them. 


It was not all bad. No one scored within the first ten minutes of the game. There was a lot of back and forth soccer with chances and attempts, but the first goal was scored by Wednesday against us, and from what I saw, Dan was hung out to dry and never had a chance to save it.


The score does not reflect the game. For the most part the Pumas has a lot of good shots and more, if you believe the stats, than the other team. Yet we could not score. As Sunny would say after the game "I missed every shot I took." I would not be to hard on him, since at least two of those shots were on goal. 


Our first goal was a single handed effort form Eddie. He got the ball on a break and had to beat one defender and put the ball right over the keepers head, but at this point we were 2 goals down. 


Bobby had a shot of goal that was most impressive. Joe an I were on the bench at the time and we saw the ball leave Bobby's foot heading directly at the near post. It was going a straight line with nothing in the way. Then all so a sudden the keeper came, from the middle of the goal, on a well timed dive to get on had on it and push it away. Bobby was quoted as saying "I could not even see the keeper, hell I don't think he could see me." The goalless streak continues. 


Now I don't want to make to much of this but it has to be said. Kent (the Canadian) made his first appearance since the outdoor season ended. For his first game back he did not do so bad. He had two solid goals in the second half. Both of which he played the point man and was able to turn and slide it past his marking man and the keeper. His last goal, if we call it his, was similar but he pushed his marking defender in the back toward the goal and into the ball coming across the goal. It went off the defenders foot and the Brewers now had four goals and just one goal away from tieing the game. 


Moments later the other team would score with less than a minute on the clock, game over. 6-4 final. So all Kent's goal were for naught. Hell he didn't even stay for a beer after the game. The team was not pleased. There may need to be sanctions or at least an investigation to make sure this does not happen again. 


After the game there was a lot of talk about things that explode. There were stories of hot sauce being stepped on, batteries in camp fires, salsa in a pocket, cans of beer in a camp fire and a gas station going up in flames because some one's mom drove off with the nozzle still plugged into the car. 


There is a place in north Pewaukee called Carlee's that has the "best" hookers in all of where ever Pewaukee is. It is not recommend by Dan or Jamie. Yet maybe, just maybe.


THC will from this point on be know as TLC. Over all you might be able to interchange the two on the short term, but in the end you know which is better. 


I would like to point out how good most soccer players are when not on the soccer field. We all know  most are jerks while playing. Accidently I left my jacket, with my keys, and wallet sitting next to the bleachers for all of our game. To top it all off, my phone was on top of the Jacket in full view of everyone that walked by. Yet after the game when I realized I left all of this unattended I went and found that it was still there. Untouched. The moral of the story is that as long as most soccer players are not on the field they are good people. Thanks for not stealing my stuff.


Oh and Sunny did not score.



11/29 over 40 indoor Soccer 


USA USA the US team moves in to the round of 16 with a win over Iran. 


While the Dune Puma's indoor win is not as significant, it is still a win for the good guys and lady. The final was a solid 7 - 4 win. 


To start the day the Ilecki brothers went to the Highbury to watch the USA World Cup game. This would be the younger one's first time to this Bay View staple and it was enjoyable. 


Even after a few beers while enjoying the world cup both Ilecki brothers made it the indoor game. One was late and it had nothing to do with those drinks. I swear it was a traffic issue.  And I don't appreciate getting a text accusing me of falling asleep instead of going to play. 


With that news setting the back drop, Adam scored the first goal of the game with an off pace shot that just barely snuck in between the post and the goalies hand. 


Second goal was to tie it up and was not scored by the Brewers. 


Tator was able to get the next goal and from this point on the Dune Pumas would hold the lead till the end of the game. 


This is not to say it was smooth sailing. There was a good six minutes stretch were we seemed to forget how to play soccer. Passes were being made to the other team and we could just not keep any kind of control. At this point the other team was able to pull the game close again with three unanswered goals. There was some yelling and some arguing, but we got our heads out of our asses and started to put a few more balls into the net. 


We hit the post at least six times though out the game. Eddie hit one that went right back to him, but he could not control it. Adam had a solid hit that hit the corner and bounced back into play and Tator had three post shots, one on each post. First he hit the left post, then he hit the cross bar (which might have crossed the goal line) and lastly, so he could complete the set he bounced one of the right post.  


Both Adam and Tator scored their second goal in the second half. Justin also joined them with two goals in the game. 


This leave one goal that we need to account for and it would come from a most unlikely source. Bobby was able to get in on the back end of a cross and shoot the ball on goal, it missed. He got the rebound and shot again, he hit the keeper. Again it landed at his feet and again he put it on goal, it hit the keeper again. Yet he would get one more try when the ball once again landed at his feet and this time he found the back of the net. 


That accounts for all of the goals, but after the game Sunny asked if he had scored. No Sunny you did not score. Yet he is willing to take credit for one of the goals....Adam doesn't need both of his. 


After the game there was some experimentation with beer. Mark created a new drink called the Beer Press. It is created by putting one pitcher in another that has a little bit of beer in it. Press the top one down and that will help to concentrate the alcohol and make the beer stronger. We let him drink this concoction. (He will get back to us)


In other news, Jamie does not like gambling, but she will blow on your dice if you want her to. 


Police man Joe was once called princess by a flaming flight attendant after pucking in the blue water in the airplane's bathroom.  He was not the only one to tell us a story about throwing up while flying. You'll have to ask John about his story. 


Oh and Sunny did not score this week. 



USA USA round of 16

Dune Pumas game rating. 

11/22 over 40 indoor Soccer 


We got whooped. That's two weeks in a row we lost. This time we lost 10 to 4. 


Again with such a poor showing there is not a lot of good things to say. 


I will start with the defense: it was bad. There was a lot of missed marks, walking and just bad tackles. On the good side Dan once again had a vary aggressive proformance. He side out three times to pull the ball out from under the attacking players feet and all three times he got the ball and some of the players feet. Only one goal was his fault. He looked like a juggler trying to get his hands on the ball and just lost it. He's not even sure how that happened. 


Jamie got our first goal to tie up the game. It was a left footed rip through the crowd and passed the keep. She would get another one later in the game to be our top scorer of the game. 


Jason got one later in the game to keep the score close. This too was with is left foot. Adam ran interference on this goal. He was Infront of the keeper and at the last second moved out of the way and I don't think the keeper even saw the ball before it was past him. 


Adam was also doing a good job of making friends out on the soccer field. In one shift he had three fowls in a row. The first he was pushed and went down. On his way down he took a swing and kicked the player in the back of the calf's as he wend down. He puts another guy done in the corner and started yelling at the ref for a while. I think he deserved a blue card but it never came that goodness. He did score one in the game so no harm no fowl. 


Then there was bobby. He got destroyed by the other teams goal keeper out side of the box. Someone dumped the ball into the corner and Bobby won the fifty/fifty ball and was turning for the shot and the goalie pulled off an arm bar and dragged Bobby to the turf. Blue card and we still could not score. 


Before the game even started there was some controversy and some questions out our president. Derek bought what I think was a hoodie for our Brewers FC flash store a while back. He got it delivered today with a little bottle of USED lotion in the bag with his purchase. There was some speculation as to why, but nothing good can come from sharing these. 


It seems there is a name for it when you light your farts on fire, but no one really knew what it was. Derek tired to tell us, but only odd sounds came out of his mouth. So we decided to name it ourselves. Sarg (oh yes there was a Sarg sighting) suggested 'Hot Chewbacca.' our definition was lighting your fart on fire with no pants on. Yet after some extensive research I found the this name is already taken. Seems like Urban dictionary has a Hot Chewbacca is a hot girl with a hairy vagina. Seems like all the good names are already taken.  Seems like on of the names is called a flaming trombone, pyroflatulence,  flatus ignition or a blue angel. Seems this has more names but I'm done doing research. 


Also Dan can't burp. He gave an explanation as to why, but no one was documenting that. Yet the good news is he can still fart and he many be doing that more because he can't burp. 


Once again Kent was not at the game. It was a nine thirty game so it could have been past his bed time. We missed the canuck. He may be preparing for the loss that his national team will suffer in Canada's first World Cup 2022 game on Wednesday. 


11/15 over 40 indoor Soccer (fuck)


The less I talk about this game the better. We played Futsal Refugees tonight. If you know you know. We lost 9 to 1. 


Since we don't have a lot of good things to say about this game I will focus on what I can. 


There were some good shots on goal but the other keeper was good and was able to pick all of them out of the air. He also has two was able to shoot at our goal twice. Thank goodness he did not score. That would have been embarrassing. 


We tried to chip him twice and as the score would show that did not go well. 


Dan had a lot of good saves. He was not the reason we lost. Let's just make that clean our goalie did his best to save what he could. Dame this team likes to run as a team. 


So yes, we scored one goal, but it was not in the run of play. Andy (The Bearded One) received a ball near the top of the box...maybe a bit to the left of the box...and took a shot with the outside of his right foot. It was on target but was intercepted by the arm of one of the other teams hand. A few  things of note here. The player was in the box, his last name was Luna and had once been Andy's coach while at Bavarians. 


One of the other Andys on the Dune Pumas stepped up to take the penalty and scored. 


Now I know this should be a recap of our teams performance but this needs to be noted. At the end of the second half this Luna guy was marking Andy (The Bearded One) had two shots on goal. After both shots he ended up on the ground. The first was an off balanced shot and the second Luna put full cleats into the back of his calf leaving two long clear marks down the back of Andy's leg. Luna was quoted after the play saying "the second one felt meaty. And I was apologizing before he went down" There was no fowl called on the play and the half ended. 


So it seems that Robert finally showed up to the game today. Jamie has been curious as to why this guy Robert always responded in the email chain that he was going to be at the game, but he never showed up. Well Jamie just leard that Bobby is Robert and Robert is Bobby....side note I typed Booby but I corrected it before posting. 


After the game Mark (John)  went to his car and brought a bunch of World Cup Qatar swag in. There were some sticker book, some small trading cards and some packs of stickers. He just want to get ride of it at this point. His story is that it was just delivered to his house, it has some strangers name on it, his neighbor's address on it and had been delivered to three other places before his house. When he track the package it has once been delivered to a Walmart in a different state. He tried to find out who's shipment this was, called his old neighbor, searched the name on the package and a few other things. Yet it seems no one wanted to claim it. 


Sadly there was no bracelet in the swag, which made one of the Brewers disappointed. 


Derek donated most of this stuff to the Kickers origination before we left, I'm not sure if that had anything to do with our table getting two hand delivered popcorn baskets, but they did show up after he gave the swag to the front desk. 


There was some talk about what we are going to do for the first USA World Cup game Monday, but as of now there is  no good plan. 


Lastly Kurt could not make the game this week because he hurt his foot last week. I'm sure if he would have shown up and coached us we could have done better. 

Free stuff, but no jewelry 

Carrie sent me this while I was playing. She said her daughter was watching election results with her and said, something to the fact, "that's Andy? Andy from soccer?" 

11/8 over 40 indoor Soccer 


Solid win for the over 40 Dune Pumas. We did not play our best game but than again we tend to play down to the teams we play against. The final was 14 to 4.  Wallie even mention that we did not look like we played well. 


We started off strong with a solid goal from the first shift. Gill was the first on the board. The first of many. 


Eddie chipped the keeper from about half field for number two. The keeper got his hands on it but only the finger tips and it went over the line. 


Number three came from the Bearded one with the standard outside of the right foot shot. It hit the keepers hands but the spin on the ball confused him and it bounced off his hands went over his left shoulder. 


After three unanswered goals the other team finally put in one. It was a mess. There was a bad high back pass to Dan, the ball just would not settle at his feet. The one on coming forward got a piece of it and slid around him and passed it into the goal. This would not be the only goal GIVEN to the other team. 


Once again the Bearded one was involved in the fourth goal. He had space In front of the goal and shot it directly at Jamie who was just trying to get out of the way and it rickashaied of her, For a moment she was not sure if it was going to be a shot or a pass to her, but when it became clear it was going to be a shot  she tried to make herself as small as possible, and the ball went into the side netting. 


At this point it became the Justin and tall Andy show for a while. At least three goals came from a pass from Justin to Andy. Only to be interrupted by Tim putting one into the back of the net. 


When Justin and Andy kept scoring the Beard One decided that he had seen enough of this and stole a goal off the line from Andy. Just before the ball crossed the line he did a  little toe poke that was excessive and unnecessary. 


The three other goals scored against the good guys where, for the most part, gifts. There was a bad pass out of the back. Leaving a two on one with Dan. Someone decided to dripple through two people out of the back and had his pocket picked and again two on one with Dan. 


The fourth was nothing to right home about and this writer did not see how it was scored. I hear it was a three on one because Andy overlapped the Bearded One, which opened the middle of the field right in front of the goal and when making the move to put the ball on his right foot....the ball went where it was supposed to go, but his body did not and he ended up on the ground, untouched and not fowled. 


We are sure other people scored after this but no one was paying attention at this point. Yet one memorable goal was when Justin smashed the ball with all his might passed the keeper, who might have been trying to get out of the way. The ball was still accelerating as it hit the back of the net.


Things of note. Joe does not like IPAs. This lead to the skankiest sluttiest beer of the night. First Joe pored it into his glass and drank some. Joe pored this beer into Dan's cup, who also drank some. From here it was pored into Jamie's cup and she drank it. That one beer sure went around the table. 


No one plays with Justin's balls. Not even a black Mormon. Who knew this was a fetish?


Dan and Jamie are looking for a quick way to make some money to help pay for the delays they have been having while  building their new home. They may want to become drug dealers to make a few extra bucks. Seems like Joe knows and has made meth in the past....as his duties as a police officer. 


And if you find yourself coming off a meth high while in county jail with a friend, you should pick off the others scabs and drink their urine to help you come down slowly. Not sure why you would not pick your own or drink your own, but that is just how it is done. 


I don't even want to relive the old people gang bang conversation, but Matty (who was not there and does not play anymore) wanted me to ask Jamie if she wanted to introduce her mom to Kurt's dad. Things got weird from there. Things were said, threesomes were suggested, Derek had to listen to his mom talk about dating for COMPANIONSHIP. Things got vary weird.


Don't go to Myrtle Beach but if you do, eat the soggy crap legs. If you don't, you have not had the true Myrtle Beach experience. This might be a euphemism for something, but I don't think so.


Lastly, some advice. If you are going to take the Blue Pill only take one. If you take two you might end up calling out of work and walking around the house knocking lamps off tables. 

11/1 over 40 indoor Soccer 


The game this week did not go as well as last. Final was 5 - 2 the good guys did not win. But not all was bad. 


It started off bad in the email chain when the player count jumped to more than 13 that said they would play. Shortly after players were jumping at the chance to volunteer not to play. Ten minutes before game time only six people were at the field giving the few there a little bit to worry about by game time ten were suited up and ready to play. We had twelve to play in total. 


The first goal was scored the drought king, Bobby. He scored of a well place shot. I don't think anyone saw it but he celebrated and no one disputed he was the last to touch the ball before it went in. This put the Dune Puma up early. (Spoilers, this was the last time we would be in the lead)


Defensive marking would cost the team a goal to get the game tied. This would not be the last marking error of the game. 


Second goal against was a bad pass out of the back to make it 2-1 against. We will not name names because this happened a few times. Only two bad passes lead to goals. 


We tied it up with another impressive goal from an vary unselfish goal. Justin did a lot of work and tired some truly strang shit in the game but on this goal he dribbled around in the corner and simply passed to a team make to tie the game up. Lonny just tapped it in wide open on the back post. 


Scored on again. We don't want to talk about this. The people involved know what was done wrong. No need to point her out. But a bad pass turn possession into a two one one and 3 -2. 


Before half the Caterer muscled his way into the box and took a fifty/fifty ball and turned it into a goal right under the keeper. 


Half time 3-3 still in the game. 


The second half plan was to shot the bad at the upper corners of the opposing teams goal. It would have work too if not for the other teams keeper.  He pulled at least 5 well places shots out of the air with little to no effort. 


Goal four against might have been the breaking point and some of the worse communication of the game. Three forwards and three defenders in front of our goal. The one with the ball was marked. The one in the corner was also marked by TWO of our players. The one in the middle was not marked and yes it is now 4 -3. 


Dan once again had a tremendous unsave just like last week. Dead ball, no wall and he dodged, dipped, ducked and dodged to let the ball sail by and into the goal. The other team was pissed. We had to explain the no direct kick rule to them from the bench, yet still they complaint to the ref that it should count because they did not know any better. 


From here it went down hill. Mark got run into the wall and hit his head. The players excuse was he pushed Mark but it was only when he landed on Mark that he forced him into the wall. I think both of those are fowls. 


The last goal was scored and that is all I have to say about that. 5-3. 


But game is not over. Dan being the goalie that he is and also the kind of guy who does not give up had an unmarked man in the corner so he came out of the box and slid, hands out and and up. The shot was taken and yes it hit his hands. Blue card and we are down one man with under two minutes. What else was he to do. He thought there was five minutes on the clock. 


At some point Gil made a friend on the field and someone in the middle of play just looked at him and yelled "Fuck You"


Game is mostly over at this point but Police man Joe decided to save one last goal with his face. With thirty seconds on the clock. That ended the game. I tried to get the ref to give the other team a blue card with ten seconds on the clock when the other team left the bench before the clock hit zero. That did not work. 


After the game Eddie finally realized he was old when a kid he he once coached in U10 came up to him. The only consolation was after that realization was that the kid told Eddie he was the best coach ever. 


Kurt's child let him use her water bottle for the game.


Lastly The Caterer hurt him self while after game beers. It was only a cramp and may have been facilitated by him sitting in a high chair. 


After the game there was some muttering about how tired people were and we could have used a sub or two more. 


As we were planning on leaving a cop came in and was not looking for any of us. Joe kind of knew the guy, but did not say hi.




Kurt's sweat rag and daughters water bottle

10/25 over 40 indoor Soccer 

(first game)

The Dune Pumas started the indoor season out great with a 12   0 shut out. 


There are a few rule changes this year that not everyone was aware of. 


First and foremost there is no sliding in this league. Bobby was the first to test this rule when   he   aagaoaagaoataagaoaagaoataa blue card for two footing the ball. He never touched the man, he save what was probably going to be a goal, but it was highly illegal. 


The second rule change that almost no was knew about, even though it was mentioned before the game, all kicks are indirect kicks. The best demonstration of this was the other teams first goal. Yes the ball went into the next on a dead ball close to the box. Dan did the unthinkable and told the defense not to make a wall. The bench was stunned and kind of confused. Justin looked confused to he had no idea where to stand. The ball was shot directly into the goal and Dan just danced out of the way. The bench was angry, but in the end Dan made the best unsave and the goal was not awarded. 


Devin asked the ref of all dead balls where indirect and the nearest said yes. So the. Devin asked about penalty kicks. Turns out not all dead balls are indirect. 


Rule three most of the team knew about last session when it took affect half way though the second season. When a team goes up more then 5 goal they no longer add that extra player. It just stay six on six. No one knows why this one was changed. 


Now on to the game highlights. The bearded one scored the first goal of the season to start the shutout. As we all can guess it was a off pace hit with the out side of the right foot and it spun off the keepers hands. Two more goals would come from Andy in the second half one was a simple tap in with the inside of the foot after being on the pitch for about five seconds. The other was from the normal out side of the foot finish for a hatty. The good ilecki assisted the line of those goals but there is some dispute as to when he actually heard Andy yelling for the ball. He never even looked cross field before he passed the ball. 


Justin picked off an errant shot from Tator and just picked it out of the air for an well place volley to the upper corner. No one had a change to save it, not even sure the keeper saw it till it went in. Top five goal seen this year from the Dune Pumas for sure. 


Tator took a sub at the worst moment late in the second half. Six minutes before the end of the game to put Dan shutout in jeopardy. There was a 3 on 2 and Tator came off. He was heard to say "it will be fine, if they score, it's in me." They did not score. 


Almost everyone score today and there were a lot of good passing Infront of the goal. Eddie juked a defender at the pot of the box and softly place the ball right of the keeper in the side netting. 


Point to be made before the game the bearded looked at Eddie before the game and said, "I'm going to score."


Mark and Sarge do architectory and when they got to work they are architecturing. Not sure what that means but that is also why Jamie was not at the game. 

 

Goals I know of. Tator, Justin tall Andy....yes it took 3 tries for him to finally put the ball in the net. First shot at wall, second at wall, maybe the goalie touched it once and fourth touch he put it in the net.  Gill, and Mark also hit the net. 


Lastly Gregg sucks.


10/22 Friday Soccer


We are the champions. Not only did we win the league but we also won a trophy (which we bought our selves) and all of the Brewers Sting Titian's beer tickets. 

Many goals where scored in Friday's final game of the season, as well as many misses.  Final was 8 - 1. Sure the other team only had ten players and the Brewers had an army of almost twenty but that does not tell the whole story. Passes were made, people ran, people jogged and for the most part fun was had. 

The first major miss was from our leader Kent. The ball came across the goal and instead of tapping it into the goal, the ball just stuck to his foot and the keeper was able to get his hands on it. 

For a while there it did not look like the Brewers wanted to score. We got the ball into the box but no one wanted to shoot. We had two or three good passes in the box but the last one was never quite on target and didn't result in a shot. 

By the end of the first half it was only 2 - 0 for the good guys. 

The Traveling Scientist went down twice, once in the game when he cramped up while trying a fancy spin move into the box during the game. The second time he went down after the game when he dropped his beer on Gil. He recovered from both falls. 

A notable goal in the second half was from Cam who some how found a little bit of space between the goalie's hands and the crossbar. 

After six goals scored the Brewers forgot that they had to play defense. There were three two-on-one situations in a vary short time and the last of these resulted in the only goal scored against the good guys. 

Sunny would tell you he had a hat trick, which might be a real fact, but all that anyone will remember is the one he missed from seven yards out. That could have been his third goal but after it sailed over the goal he was subbed to think about what he had just done. He did come back and get that third goal. (We will never hear the end of this) After the game he celebrated by eating a stranger's Chinese food in the parking lot. 

Devin showed his talent by hitting both posts on a rocket shot from a questionable angle on goal. Yet in the end it went in and was counted as a goal. Point of interest here is that Tator passed the ball instead of shooting it. 

Shirtless Nick was able to score the last goal of the season. This fact was in jeopardy for a brief moment when Tator was feed a beautiful ball across the goal, he made great contact and hit the post. He will have to wait till next season to make up for that. 

Otto was always open, not everyone noticed but I noticed. 

After the game Kurt disappeared for a while then came back. He took his bag and left the party only to come back to some grand cheers and fanfare. Finally when he decided to leave for good. Kent gave him a kiss and the eternally injured Sarge (and new camera man) licked Kurt's ear. I can not explain more. 

Also Cam left and came back to drink out of the trophy. Brian left and came back to great cheers but left after grabbing his water bottle and was booed as he left again. We assume he went down again in the parking lot. 

Great season boys. Let's get ready for indoor. 

The trophy, the beer and the tickets from the other brewers team.

10/14 Friday Soccer


As pointed out by our leader, it was a good game this Friday night. Five goals where scored by the Brewers one was called back on a questionable offsides call. The final was 4 - 1. 


We were able to pull together a team and had two subs, but I'm sure if we would have let everyone know that Andy the Caterer was bringing his home made apple cider I think we would have gotten a few more show up. 


Nick was part of the first three goals. The first goal he unselfishly passed the ball to Tator for a tap in. The second he scored on his own and he assisted the 3rd as well. 


Cam got one as well and so did old lover boy Mbida. To put us up by 4. 


There was one yellow card given to the Brewers but that was to be expected since Wallie was the ref for the game and Cam must have missed the memo that Wallie doesn't like it when you swear at him. This was also after the goal that was called back for, as I said, a questionable offsides call. 


Best quote of the day, "You have a beautiful smile it is attached to your soul." Man I missed playing with Mbida. This was directed at the new beer girl behind the counter. She did have a nice smile. 


Kent hurt himself again and took his gear off before the wissel blew, and Sunny did not score. 


Justin must have been bored because he needed to make his life interesting back in goal. He tried to clear the ball off one or the other teams forwards back and then had to slide to kick save it off the line.  


The only goal scored on us was simple pass to the back post for a tab in. After the goal Nick was heard saying "I was just check out on that one." And not I don't think anyone was offsides on that play. 


Best call off the game came from Devin who called the ball out of bounce in protest. The other team called one out that clearly was not so Devin did the same and Wallie called it. 


We are still in first place going into the last game of the season. 

 




Sunday 10/1 canceled game 

The traveling scientist doesn’t read his email.  As a result he showed up 30 minutes prior to kickoff and warmed up by himself.  At 1055 he texted me to ask if the game had been canceled.  On a positive note, he got all the beer tickets for both teams.  

10/9 Sunday Soccer

Great Sunday night game for the Dune Puma's. The brewers scored seven goals through out the game and let in two late goals in  the second half. 


Not sure who got the first goal but I'm sure it was by accident. 


The second goal was a rocket into the net by New Nick only minutes after the first. 


Before the half Eddie got into a minor challenge, but had his foot stepped on. For a minute we all thought he broke his ankle but he recovered a taking a sub and pushed in a comfortable goal in the second half. 


There was a moment in the second half where all three Andys we're on the field at the same time and worked the ball out of the back in tight quarters. There were four of five short passes, all accurate, to get out of a high press situation. 

 

Nicoli got the first goal in the second half. He swears he was shooting at the time. It snuck into the near upper corner. There was no angle and almost no room between the posts and the keepers glove, but it was a great goal to put the team up by three.


Adam would not let this stand. He was not impressed and with the help of Andy the Caterer,  he would  out do every other  goal in the game. The cross came in and the Good Ilecki left his feet and picked the ball out of the air with a text book half volley. 4-0. Nicoli no longer had the best goal of the game. 


New Jason wanted in on the action and decided to try to show both of them up with a full on bicycle kick. He made excellent contact but was called for a high kick even though the closest player had no chance of getting his the head in.....the shot was not on target but it was impressive. 


There was more scoring to bring us up to 5 and 0 but a goal was scored against us after a questionable call. The ref missed an offsides call...mainly because Devin did not raise his had to flag it. We all think if he would have called his own it would have been offsides. 


This is not to suggest the reffing was bad. He was good and consistent even after he gave New Jason a yellow card for retaliation. In Jason's defense he was just doing the same thing that was done to him a few plays earlier. 


Cam got us to six and one, with what I think was a tap in but at this point we were winning handily and no one was paying that close of attention. 


Not even our goalie. Justin got chipped only moments after one of the other players said, “If he keeps playing off his line like that, I'm going to chip him." He called it and it happened. Other than that Justin did well. Yet I think he was the first to notice the field was getting a bit damp and almost miss judged a shot that skipped right in front of him but he made a solid awkward save.


I know I am missing a goal here someplace so if you want to take credit for it go ahead. 


Adam was on the receiving end of a cross but he did not head the ball. The ball headed him. He was later quoted as saying "I had no idea where the ball was and than it hit me in the head."  


Other points of interest, Kurt was Hungry after the game and pointed that out two or three before leaving. 


Sunny wants to give the Traveling Scientist MVP of the gave....something about running a lot. (Maybe a goal) 


New Nick had the shortest shift of the game, but he ran a lot while on the field.


Kent was not present and did not start. 


Brian missed a penalty. But there were no penalties in this game. 


And if you hear Sunny tell it, he sored two goals. We will not hear the last of this from Sunny. 


Sponsored by Optimator and Simpler Times

Highlights from behind the goal. We had a lot of goals and he had a lot of saves.  


Nick @ 820 shot the ball right into the keepers face