Ball Goes Shit

5/5/2023 over 30 outdoor Soccer

First game of outdoor Dune Pumas did not go as well as it should have. The mostly over forty team lost to team ten years younger than them. Yet that was not the reason for the loss and yes it was a loss. Ended 1 to 5 at the end.

There was hope in the first half. Sure the other team scored first, but the Pumas struck back shortly after in the first half with a tieing goal from Tator. Joe pases it out of the back to Kent, he pushed it off to Bobby who found Tator fifteen yards  out of the box. The goalie covered the left post leacing most of the goal open and Tator took one touch to bring it down and hit a lazor straight shot into the goal, tieing up the game. 

For the most part the Brewers were on defence for most of the first half. 

While playing out side left defence Kurt was trying to clear a ball just out side the box on the left side of the field. He tried to clear the ball and instead of hitting the ball his right foot dug into the ground and he went over. He face planted into the ground and Gill was forced to clear the ball for him. 

When the ball went out of play during  shirtless Nick's first shift he took off his shirt, during the game. He couldn't even wait till the end of the game. The rumours are that he did this to show off his six pack, but he said it was because he put his undershirt on backwards and it was chaffing his abs. After the game he would once again pull his shirt up and say, "look at my six pack." More on that later. 

Shortly after, there was a scrum between Gill, Shirtless Nick and one of the other teams players. Some how the Brewers cleared the ball, but Gill ended up knocking Nick out after hitting him in the face with his arm. He laid on the ground for a while and as he was getting up, Kent ran over and pushed him back down. Take it slow he said. We could use the rest. 

Defender of the game was the goal post. In the first half alone the other team hit the post four times. Dan save twice that, but the goal post helped keep the Brewers in the game. By the end of the game the post saved around eight goals. 

That is how the half ended. One to one tie. 

Second half is where it all fell apart. The goals posts did their best to keep the Brewers in the game with at least four more saves. One of those hit the post and landed back in play. The defence, Andy, was caught flat footed and the forward tapped it in when the ball landed at his feet. Andy was later quoted saying, "the ball was either going in the goal or going out of bounce, who would have thought it was going to hit the post." Knowing  how this game went he should have known better. 

The game started to get out of hand some where in the second half. There were three hand balls not called by the ref and a few fowls not called between the two teams. Most noticeable was on  JIm Thomson. He got hip checked mid field with no call given. Shorty after he was in a challenge with the same guy. In an open field challenge Thompson went in with a vengeance and had his arms around the other player, almost looking like he was hugging him from behind, all the while with his opponents arm in his face. Yet there was never a call either way. 

Turns out Thompson's first name is not Jim, but Bobby and Joe did not know that for most of the game. 

Devin had a few conversations with the ref because these missed calls. He was not happy about the missed hand balls and the lack of calls on clear fouls. 

Joe being the playmaker he is, had a chance to clean the ball out of the back field, he took a swing and he missed the ball all together. The other thing he thinks was his fault was not. We knows who fault that was. And he also wants to be a super sub. He is not on the team, but he is expecting to play in 90% of the games.

The poor reffing came to a head when a yellow card was thrown to Dan, our keeper, for descent. The ball went over the end line and but the ref let the play go on and it was crossed and then shot on on goal. The ball went int and the  original call was a goal. Sure Dan yelled at the ref explaining what he missed, (in the end the ref said Dan was right) but still gave him a yellow. Since you can't through out the keeper he pointed at Devin and said he had to sit out for ten minutes. 

Devin's response was, "no, I'm not going off, you can't mak le me..why don't you go off."  The ref then threatened to give him a red. At this point two players stepped up and volunteered to go off. Nick and Andy both offered to walk off the field but Nick wasn't as tired, even though he might have had a concussion, Andy walked off to calm down the situation. So even though Andy went off for the yellow card Dan got the yellow. 

Mike would have made no difference if he would have shown up to the game. Adam on the other hand would have changed the game. He might have started a fight in the later parts of the game. Or should I say, he would have made a few friends. Either way we would have lost. 

Kent is ready for the new Nick diet. Forty days on then forty days off. Drink and smoke for for fourth days then nothing for the next forty. Yet there may have been some confusion on how this works. Kent thought it was Drink and smoke for forty and and then coke for the next forty. Yet we all think the second forty was abstinence, but the final method is still unclear. But either way Kent is in. 

On the way out Neon was two fisting it but he had to go and ended up leaving with two beers as he left. Saying I'm going to take these with me. Side note he thinks all gingers look alike and calls all of them Sam.

Sonny never made it to the game but was quoted after "I went to read with my enthusiasm but there’s 

On my he website… how I was disappointed." We think this has something to do with a late ballgoesshit post, but I don't speak Leads. 

On hair talk: the Caterer and Thompson have some of the best hair on the Dune Pumas. While Kent points out about his own  hair  "this is what you get." 

Lastly, Kent farted, no one heard it or smelled it but we all saw the lean.but he let his whole ass out.  You just have to lean. Then a kid up wind did him one better.  Suddenly we smelt something, and looked around. Kent said he didn't do it and yell "who farted?" There was a kid looking at our table and staring at the back of Kent's head. When Kent turned to look the kid gave a little smile and looked away. 

4/25/2023 over 40 indoor Soccer 

There is not much to say about this game. It was the last indoor game. The Brewers only scored one goal and lost 1-3. 

It started out well. There was a lot of possession. Yet the other team scored the first goal. Dan had two good save in a row, but he needed a third to keep it out of the goal. He could not get the third and they scored. 

Mark decided to be tough and play through his rip pain. When putting on his shirt before the game he could not lift his arm above his head. On this first shift he was in the middle of the field, alone, and just fell over. He got back up and continued to play. 

Sonny was able to get the tying goal shortly after that. Kent put a perfectly weighted ball splitting two defenders leaving Sonny and Lonnie two on one with the goalkeeper. Sonny got the goalkeeper to commit one way and passed the ball to Lonnie with a wide open goal. Lonnie missed and the ball bounced off the wall alright back into Sonny's path and he just tapped it in. 

Andy, the lost Andrew, gave up a second goal with a bad pass coming out the back. Andy, the Bearded on, passed the ball to him and he took a touch against the ball then passed it into the middle of the goal box right to the opposing team. They took two touches and slipped it passed the keeper. Andrew took responsibility for the goal while the other Andy agreed because it certainly was not his fault. 

Half came and went and the score was 1-2. For the most part the teams played good, the Brewers could not score and would not score for the least of the game. The last goal was controversial. The ball got lifted over the defense and Dan came a step out his box went up for the ball and the attacking player kicked at the ball putting his foot just inches from Dan's face. There was no call and one of the refs said if there was a high boot it would have been the other refs job to call it. 

There was a small group that hung out after the game. There was some talk about boats and trailers. 

There was a dust storm circling Urans and some dark rings a well. 

Andy felt like he was having a heart attack after the game. He could not catch is breath, was light headed and his arm and chest had some pain. He got over it and started drinking. 

There was one quote that I really want to add here, but it is far to discussing to bring up ever again. Even for me. 

Sonny is still not drinking beer. He got a fruity drink to save on the calories so he can look good in his new Speedo. This lead to swim suit discussions and that pubic hair sneaking out the sides of a Speedo or bikini bottom are called Spiders. And now you know. 

Next on to Summer and outdoors next week. 

4/25/2023 over 40 indoor Soccer 

There is not much to say about this game. It was the last indoor game. The Brewers only scored one goal and lost 1-3. 

It started out well. There was a lot of possession. Yet the other team scored the first goal. Dan had two good save in a row, but he needed a third to keep it out of the goal. He could not get the third and they scored. 

Mark decided to be tough and play through his rip pain. When putting on his shirt before the game he could not lift his arm above his head. On this first shift he was in the middle of the field, alone, and just fell over. He got back up and continued to play. 

Sonny was able to get the tying goal shortly after that. Kent put a perfectly weighted ball splitting two defenders leaving Sonny and Lonnie two on one with the goalkeeper. Sonny got the goalkeeper to commit one way and passed the ball to Lonnie with a wide open goal. Lonnie missed and the ball bounced off the wall alright back into Sonny's path and he just tapped it in. 

Andy, the lost Andrew, gave up a second goal with a bad pass coming out the back. Andy, the Bearded on, passed the ball to him and he took a touch against the ball then passed it into the middle of the goal box right to the opposing team. They took two touches and slipped it passed the keeper. Andrew took responsibility for the goal while the other Andy agreed because it certainly was not his fault. 

Half came and went and the score was 1-2. For the most part the teams played good, the Brewers could not score and would not score for the least of the game. The last goal was controversial. The ball got lifted over the defense and Dan came a step out his box went up for the ball and the attacking player kicked at the ball putting his foot just inches from Dan's face. There was no call and one of the refs said if there was a high boot it would have been the other refs job to call it. 

There was a small group that hung out after the game. There was some talk about boats and trailers. 

There was a dust storm circling Urans and some dark rings a well. 

Andy felt like he was having a heart attack after the game. He could not catch is breath, was light headed and his arm and chest had some pain. He got over it and started drinking. 

There was one quote that I really want to add here, but it is far to discussing to bring up ever again. Even for me. 

Sonny is still not drinking beer. He got a fruity drink to save on the calories so he can look good in his new Speedo. This lead to swim suit discussions and that pubic hair sneaking out the sides of a Speedo or bikini bottom are called Spiders. And now you know. 

Next on to Summer and outdoors next week. 

4/18/2023 over 40 indoor Soccer 

It was not a pretty game, but it was a win. 10 to 9. 

Kent got the first goal of the game after a slow start. No one seemed to want to run for the first few minutes of the game. 

Tim scored the second goal of the game, but it was on the wrong goal. 

Tator had a few goals in the game, before the game was over he would have a hat trick. He also was making friends in the second half. He was working hard to get the ball up front he slightly nicked one or two defenders legs. A tall gray beard man got mad and started yelling. He stepped up to Tator as if he wanted to fight. But in the end did nothing but yell. 

Andy the Caterer had a good two minutes shift. He score a banger in the first half, and moments later he would pass the ball through to Sunny who would smash the ball home for his first goal of the game. 

Gabe, a one time Brewer, played against us in this game. On a dead ball Tator stood in front of the ball for a minute and Gabe decided he did not like that and kicked the ball in to Tator's back. 

In the second half Mark, aka OJ, got destroyed on a fifty fifty ball. He landed hard on his sholder and had the wind knocked out of him. The defender got a blue card to put them down a man. When Mark finely got up and started walking off the field he was heard ranting about the foul. This is paraphrased but it was something like this, "the was fucking ridiculous, fucking pussy play, that was a  bullshit, fucking ass hole." Sunny would score during this power play. 

Right in front of the opposing teams bench Jamie challenged for the ball and stepped on it and went down. As she was falling she pushed the ball out from under her. The other teams was yelling and screaming as the Brewers scored. They wanted a foul, but the ref did not see it that way. It was at this point one of the players started to complain that Jamie was getting special treatment because she was a girl. That the ref was not going to call a foul on her because of that. It only got worse after Jamie got hacked from behind in the corner. It was an innocent foul, she just has her heal stepped on, but the foul was called. The other team was livid, and suggested that the only reason it was a foul was because she is a girl. 

Super Sub Justin did not come to play soccer tonight, but late in the game he decided it was time to get out onto the field. He worked hard in the corner to win the ball and once he got it he turned into the box, the ball got a way from him and bit and Andy the Bearded one, stoled the goal from him and tapped it in with the outside of the right foot. Justin would not step on the field for the rest of the game.

Kent would get the go ahead goal within the last few minutes of the game. He played coach for a minute and pulled Joe off the field and subbed him self on. Then went ahead and found the ball at his feet and he shoved it past the goal keeper to make it 10 to 9. He then subbed off and the the defence hold the ball for the last minute of the game for the win. 

The caterer is off to Mexico again and will miss next week's game. Seems like his mexico wife is good with it his American wife is not. 

Jamie learned what a dollar is. She had to American coin dollars that she thought were  foreign coin, but turned out to be one  Sacagawea and another a presidential dollar. 

Sunny was drinking water because he bought a speedo and wants to make sure he fits into it by summer. 

One player that does not want to be named, once played a soccer game on LSD. He scored one goal, had one assist and blew out his ACL all withing a few minutes of playing. This was also the first time he played for that team and might have been his last. 

Lastly we talked about noodles and it turns out you have to stretch the glutton. Now you stretch the glutton and not the gluteus maximus. Some how this all became about while talking about soup. Andy, the bearded one could not follow this conversation he just kept thinking about soup. 

4/11/2023 over 40 indoor Soccer 

The Dune Pumas win. The Dune Pumas win. This win is dedicated to the two coaches that decided to show up for the the game. Coach Sarge and Coach Beard lead the Brewers to a 3 - 1 win. 

Goals were scarce in the first half. Mark was in a fifty fifty challenge in front of the ball and was flipped on his ass with no call early in the game. Adam blocked a shot of his ass that ended up three years off the line and the shooter slapped it with his purse and it didn't.go anywhere. 

Eddie saves two goals in the game.  The first came after a shot to the back post. It was defected and was heading for the back post. He picked it out of the air as he as being pushed into the post and cleared the ball. The second was after Dan came out of the box and was pushed into the wall, with no call, and that ball got pushed into the box. Eddie took three touches before passing it out and saving the goal. 

The first goal in the game was against the Brewers. It started with bad marking and ended in a cluster Fuck of half shots before it ended up in the goal after about ten minutes of scoreless play. This was in the tenth minute of the game. 

Not long after the Dune Pumas would respond with a satisfying team goal. Long lost and made a triumphant return as he passed the ball to Mark. Mark was posted up with his back to the goal and laid the ball off to Adam as he ran through and pounded the ball into the goal. 

At half it was one to one. The other team was not happy with the ball we played the first half with so they switched the ball. After asked why the other beach said they put helium in the ball to make it lighter. Hopping it would lead to more goals. 

The second half was a game of possession. There were some great chances. Jamie took a shot from our side the box towards the upper corner. It was on target but in the last second the keeper fingers pushed it out of the way. Two plays later the coaching staff told her to do the same thing again. She listened and put the ball in the same place. It looked like it was going to go in but was again save at the last second. One of those two should have gone in.

Dan left the goal box three times in this game. The first he collided with a player and won the ball. The player took a while to get up. He cleared a long ball down the line. Lastly he came out didn't win the ball, but caused a distraction. The offensive pay shot, and as Dan was back pedaling got his finger tips on the ball to save the goal. 

Through out the game Adam had a few good chances on goal with his l left foot, but his l ft foot just would not show up. He miss hit three open shots with his off foot through out the game, but with less than three minutes to go he got a pass from Lonny, turned and his left foot showed up and buried the ball into the back netting. Part of the reason he has space to put that ball home.was because Bobby pulled two defenders away him because for  few moments Bobby was open on the back post. 

The last goal was a bit contraveral and went against what the coaching staff suggested. The plan was to keep position of the ball for the last minute of the lat.mintes of the game. The Brewers were up two to one with almost no time on the clock. The order was to keep the position. Of they can get the ball they can't score. Yet after a handful of passes how saw Tim wide open over half and had not choice but to pass him the ball to the most open man.  Tim took two touches and (after Dan yelled keep the ball) Tim took the shot to put the Brewers up by two. He was reprimanded but the coaching staff for going against the plan. He should have passed the ball back and around instead of scoring the spirit braking goal. 

Interesting note from coach Sarge the 

Hindlich maneuver is an appropriate substitution to Heimlich maneuver. 

Revisiting the red head bartender (not in attendance). Joe said she had a two finger gap then further explained the meaning of the thigh gap measurement. Mark, "I think they measure that at the NFL Combine too" Joe may have had beer leave through his nose. Later Mark added they should add this measurement to the miss America pageant.

After talking about Easter plans it was learned that eggs are either a chicken's period or hardened cum balls. Either way people eat them. All you need to do is hold your nose and suck them down. 

Ryan, in celebration of our win, thought we could not lose and bought a few pull tabs for the team. There were some winners, a dollar her and a dollar there, but in the end no money was taken home. Jamie go her cherry back from on one ticket. 

Also Mark came up with a new business idea after Sarge remarked "I'm not a drug addict I just love the smell of cocaine." It was noted that coke does not have a smell so Mark suggested Flavored coke. We were all surprised no one has thought of yet this idea. Since a lot of your taste comes from the smell of things , why not flavor cocaine with pixie sticks or something similar. We could corner the market on this. The caterer has a lot of piece sticks Joe knows how to make drugs, what could go wrong?

Bobby doesn't understand ascii art.

 ( . Y . ) ({}) ( ! ) 8====D~~

4/04/2023 over 40 indoor Soccer 

Ghost Writen

We lost to Wednesday...again.  4-3 this time.

I think the Brewers scored the first two.  Tater snuck a low, hard drive into the near post off a restart from a handball.  Tater also had the assist on the second as he pushed a long pass forward for new guy Mark to run onto.  None of us know why the keeper sat on his line waiting for Mark to catch up to the ball.  His hesitation cost him as Mark fired the initial shot off him hard enough to get it to spin up and over for his own tap into the empty net.

The opponents first goal sparked controversy.  The offensive player had his back to the goal receiving a pass right at the top edge of the arc.  Matola reached through to poke the ball away and the ref felt he got too much of the man along with the ball.  A touch foul barely inside the box on a man with his back to the goal.  That was worth a penalty shot in the ref's mind.  Rooney guessed right and actually dove too far to save what was a horrible effort on the shot.  It grazed Dan's armpit as it went in the net. 

The bad guys scored the next two.  I don't remember number 2.  For number 3, a contested pass to the top of the box left the ball sitting right at the top of the arc.  Two brewer defenders within a few feet of the ball were cemented to the turf as they stared at the ball motionless while an offensive player came from further away to rocket the ball into the back of the net.

Tim got our third goal as he was left with a lot of space from 15 ft out and beat the keeper to the near post.  The keeper should feel very bad for allowing two near post goals.

The game losing goal was from Rooney's left.  There was a scrum against the wall and the bad guy won.  He fired a shot high to the far side netting.

The reffing was suspect for both teams.  Soft fouls calls, obvious calls ignored.  Dominic on the other team was crying about Tator playing too rough with no call and Tator called him a little bitch.  Tator was later leveled at mid field with no call.  Rooney came out on a long throw from the opposing keeper, took the ball and crushed the man.  He whined for a foul while he laid on the ground.

Sunny got himself stuck in the defensive corner with two offensive players pressuring him.  His brilliant idea to get out of it was to slam the ball off the wall as hard as he could...not a terrible option, however, his rebound hit him right in the balls. It was hilarious to everyone except Sunny.

The drinking team won as usual.  We started strong with 5 pitchers on the table for 5 people.

There is a new female, red headed bartender.  Joe likes her and made two comments: red heads and asians are either hot or not...there is no middle; and something about her being two fingers wide.  Matola tried to pet a pussy and got bit now he doesn't like pussy.  College kids are dumb.  Tornados are bad.   Jaime quit her job.

3/28/2023 over 40 indoor Soccer 

Another game another loss. It was not as bad as last week. We did well and played better than we have in a while there was just some unlucky bounces and we just could not score. Final 2 to 4. 

The game started off quick. There was a lot of passing and movement on both sides. The first goal almost came within the first few minutes of the game. The other teams goalie missed trapped a back pass and Andy, the tall one, has an open goal as he ran up to the ball and miss hit it and it hit the ball instead of the goal. This would set the pace for the rest of the half. 

No one scored for the first ten minutes of the first half. It started after Justin check a player into the boards. The ref rightfully gave him a blue card. After only a minute into the power play the other team was able to sneak one into the goal. It was an ugly goal. The ball just bounce to the top of the ark when hit was struck softy, through traffic and just trickled into the goal. 

The second goal came a few minutes after. This one two wasn't good either. Both Adam and Dan misjudged the ball but both got back into position and defended. Adam lead the guy into the corner but shot anyways Dan had all angles covered but the player miss hit the ball and it tricked in. 

Lonny to missed a goal as well. All he needed to do is run through the ball and he would have been able to move it passed the keeper and into the goal. Instead he attempted to shoot it. Instead of going straight to went right into the keepers hands when was come from behind Lonny to get back into the goal. 

Eddie tried to chip the keeper from half as Eddie tends to do. 

Half ended zero to two. Good soccer was being played by both teams. The Brewer should have score at least two or three goals, but instead there were a lot of pasts hit. 

The third goal was once again scored by the other team. This one was the only good goal of the game. It was well struck and just before it got to Dan's hands it dipped to the left, hit his arm and went past him. 

The other team on one more goal before the Dune Pumas got their first goal. This fourth goal our team had a guy buried in the corner but he shot the ball anyway. There was a lot of spin on the ball and it road the wall passed a defender off Dan's leg. It was another ugly goal. 

The Brewers finally got on the board with less than five minutes to go. It was an individual effort by Adam. He got the ball in the corner, had it stolen from him, got it back with two guys on him, lost it again, fought back and won it back with two guys on his back and his back to the goal. He turn and 360 no scoped the goal and it went up and over every on and into the far upper corner and out of the keepers reach. 

Justin was on fire at the end of the game. He got the ball a few times and had two really good shots before finally putting one in. He received the ball at around the eight yard line and sent it home. 

Andy, the tall one has one last effort to score. It was a toe ball from within the box. It found its way through the crowd and straight into the goals hands. The goal only saw it at the last second and he put his hands up trying to shield his face and some how caught the ball. 

At the end of the game we needed the ball back yet two players on the Brewers team seemed happy to the the other team hold the back in there own defense. So Andy the Breaded on stepped up from the back to force the issue. He won the ball and got a good cross off, but it only ended in a shot. Game ended.

Sunny did not play this week but he either wants a hot pocket or got to Hoyt part or Heart park. 

After the game there was some talk about masseuses over massage therapist. Seem one is good for relaxing and the other tend to hurt a little more but loosen up the muscles better. Also one is more likely to have a happy ending. Not sure why no one ever asked a acupuncturist for a happy ending. It might have something to do with needles. 

Jaime followed this up with a store about a man that put on a show with a horse. I guess like a donkey show but with a horse putting his junk into a man's ass. Turns out a horse's ejaculation comes out as such a high speed that it complete messed up the man intestines. 

I was determined not to look this up on the Internet but Dan was convinced I was going to got to pornhub and try to track a video down. Pornhub is two tame for that kind of video so I pointed out I would have to search a more risky site like jizzcum.com seem no one has heard of this site before. It also looks like it was shut down a few months ago. 

In the middle of this conversation, about porn sites and the like, Andy blurted out "doesn't every one own a Fleshlight?" The conversation ended for a second and it turns out this was the first time Jamie ever heard the term. She kept thinking we where talking about flashlight and didn't understand any of the conversation. It was only after Dan was bold enough to risk his google search algorithm and pulled up a few pictures of them and explained it. Andy does not own a Fleshlight and he never went home to search donkey show. Yet I kind of wonder how you clean those. Bobby suggested using a lining of some kind. I would assume that would just be a condom. 

Lastly bobby might be part of a Eastern European mod. He was wearing an pull adidas sweat suit. 

3/23/2023 over 40 indoor Soccer 

Ball went shit. 

You had to be there, you should have been there. 

We lost. Three subs and and no goals. 

Lost by ten. 

One guy was the cause of four of them 

Two own goals. 

Some of us got tired. 

It was an eleven thirty game. In the PM.

More than half the team would have taken the forfeit tie over playing. Three really wanted to play.  

Jamie is getting her taste back after it getting knocked out of her a few weeks ago.

Corrections for last weeks recap will not be made.  

Kent never showed up. 

Sunny has not scored in weeks. (he might not have played in weeks)

The book is almost always better than the movie....exception Lord of the Rings. 

Some people on the team have not read a book from front to back in over ten years. 

Reading is fundamental. 

And now you know. And knowing is half the battle. 

I really didn't want to write this one. 

3/17/2023 coed indoor Soccer 

 There was a Kent sighting 

3/15/2023 40 indoor Soccer 

 Another late soccer game. Same time as last week and basically the same outcome as last week. There were fewer goals and the Brewers played better in the second half this time. The final was 4-4.

The less said about the first half the better, but there are some highlights and a few lowlights. Adam accidently meg a player twice in one play. Andy the Caterer, while under pressure passed the ball back to Dan who was standing in his goal box, and right next to him was a player from the other team completely unmarked. Hell, Dan was the closest person to him. No goals were given as a result of this. 

For the most part the team did not show up to play. The Dune Pumas looked sluggish and unmotivated. There was no energy and no creativity. This lasted for the entire first half. Two ugly goals were scored by the other team relatively quickly and two more were scored by the lazy defense. 

Hick ref was one of our refs for this game. He was in rare form. He seemed to yell, more than normal, at players. The best part about this was at one point he called a foul on Gil. Gill said something to him and they both started yelling at each other. I am not sure what the two were yelling about, I assume the foul, but I could not make any of that out and I was standing right not to Gill. 

This ref also called a foul in the middle of the field, and as you would expect Adam was involved. Adam held the ball defending it from an attacking player. Once he passed the ball off, he gave a quick little elbow into the players chest. The other player was not happy about this and kicked Adam in the back of his leg, from behind. Now we knew there was going to be a call here and hick reg ran up to Adam and gave him a blue card and then turned to the opposing and also gave him a blue card for retaliation. Now we all know the rule: any retaliation is an automatic  yellow. The other ref had to go up to him and explain that before the card was given. In total there were 6 cards shown in the game. Only two Pumas got cards, Adam and Jaime. 

End of half the Pumas had not scored a single goal and were down by four. 

The second half got better, it took a while, but it got better. The other team would not score a single goal in the second half, the intensity of the game increased and good chances on goal were starting to show up. But the first goal came from a penalty, and once again Adam was involved. He went up for a head ball, which he won, and another player hit him from behind. The shot just missed, hitting the crossbar, while Adam laid on the ground. Gil took the penalty and scored. 

Note: hick ref called the penalty and the ref on our side of the field was made because that was his to call. He also started to complain to our bench that hick ref was having a night and could not understand so of the calls being given.  

Goal number two came shortly after and it was another penalty. Mark had the ball in the box and was hit from behind. No one seemed to want to take this penalty because the three closed Pumas near the ball all ran a way from it and subbed. Andy the Caterer stepped up and buried it home. 

The game was coming to an end and with less than three minutes left in the game the third goal was scored. Adam found some open space and got the ball past the keeper. This gave the team some life and scored the last goal with about thirty seconds left in the game. Eddie received the ball right in front of the goal and tapped it in. After the goal as he was heading back to the line the ball hit the back back of his heel. In a effort to kill time he touch it two more times as the buzzer went off. Hick ref did not like this and added seven minutes back on the clock. 

The game ended four to four and the Dune Pumas were once again able to snatch a tie from the jaws of defeat.

The drinking part of the games started right after and no one was wasting any time. We started off right away with four pitchers for six players. Conversation started normal. Some were planning a road trip to Michigan to pick up a refrigerator. Some complained about the ref and the game and even others told jokes.

Yet soon a random conversation would be heard. It started off innocent. Simple talk about Ken who got hurt last week. Seems he may have torn his meniscus. Andy, the Bearded on, talked a bit about going to the doctor and how Mark has never had surgery and that he might be due. It was suggested that if he does go under the knife he should have everything fixed all at once. Take out the appendix, gallbladder clean out the heart and maybe give him a little enhance meant below the belt. He asked if he could a remote for his penis so just by pushing a button he would be ready to go. 

Once the words "remote control for my penis" were said a few eyes and ears turned. No explanation was give the statement explains it self. One person misheard what was said and asked "Detachable Penis?"  You put the two together and you see the future "Remote control Detachable Penis?"

Eventually talk started drifting to girls in bars, strip clubs old nicknames and whale tails (which does not mean Big Ass. Than back to strip clubs. 

Everyone seems to have a story about a strip club and a few were told, but Joe seems to have the most. He once walked into strip club in a strip mall. When he and his friends walked in the music stopped and people looked their way. There was a black one armed midget wearing a neckless with big medallion around his neck standing on a bar stool spanking a girl and some of the sexiest c-section scars you could even hope to see. They spent some money there, notice they were the only ones spending money and left. On the way out the girls asked them to stay. The answer was Fuck No. 

He also watched a ping pong show at another crazy club. She was shooting them into the crowd. The next act was a girl who could pick up quarters and then slowly drop them onto the stage. I believe she might have also picked up a bottle or a glass at one point too. 

One more store from Andy the Caterer. during his batcher party he was given an hat that said "Just let me finger fuck you." He wore that hat all night until he went to the strip club. The girls loved his had and it had been passed around a few time. He was determent to leave the bar with out it, but he ended up losing track of it. He ask someone where his hat was and described it. There was no hesitation they said "yes I know right where it is." Sometime during the night he crossed off finger and ended up at home with the hat. Years later his twelve year old son found the hat while helping clean around the house. Andy is keeping the hat and he is going to hand it down to his son when he gets married and hope his son does the same. 

Other notes with no  context: Joe was heard saying "I would wear fuck me pumps." Andy the Bearded One  almost missed the part about the one armed midget. When asked why he was quoted as saying , "Sorry, I was thinking about soup." The Caterer nickname out side of the Brewers is BOX. A coach once tried to give Jamie the nick name Max Truck and it has nothing to do with a big ass. After the game Joe was walking funny. On my drive home I saw a sign the said EBT ATM lottery and I'm still wondering how that game works. 

3/7/2023 40 indoor Soccer 

It was some what late Tuesday over fourth game turned into last minute goal to tie the game 5 to 5. 

We had to do some recruiting for this game. And will probably have to do the same for the next two weeks. This games was at 10:30pm, so is next week and then there is a 11:30pm game. Some people did not want to play because of the late game and some are just injured. 

Some of the walking wounded show up. The most noticeable was Jamie. Last week she blocked a shot with he ribs and at the time she didn't think anything of it. She finished the game, had a few drinks and went to bed. She woke up the next morning feeling like she broke a rib. Not we don't know for sure but it is either broken or bruised. From my experience they feel about the same. 

Yet as I said she still came to play. She wore a brace around her stomach and started the game. She still played well and didn't seem to have a whole lot of mobility issues. But one only her second shift she went in for a fifty fifty ball. She got there first but the other guy came in late and hip checked her off her feet. She bounced once and then hit the wall mostly with the back of her head. There is a good chance she got a concussion from the hit. She did not come back into the game after that. 

Not only did she play but she also got the first goal. Adam took a long shot and it hit Jamie in the chest, the ball changed direction slightly and went past the keeper. 

The second goal came from Eddie. He was a lot half fried and saw that the keeper was well off his line. So with no hesitation he lofted the ball over the keeper, just sneaking the ball below the crossbar. Now we have seen him attempt that move many times before and this is only the second time it went into the goal. 

The next goal was a bit sloppy. Andy the caterer had the ball in the corner was was trying to keep possession, he saw movement in front of the goal and tried to pass the ball to around the 5 yard line, but miss hit it. Instead it went between the goalie and the wall were Mark (aka John) was able to tap it in. 

Bobby got the fourth goal from a pass from the corner. Not sure who feed him the ball, but it is important that Bobby got a goal. 

Late in the first half is where things started to go wrong. Adam tried to pass the ball back to one of his own team mates, but never put any zip on the ball. It was easily intercepted by the other team and it was one on one with Dan. He did his best but it slid passed him and kissed the left post as it went in. 

The half ended 4 to 1. 

The second half the Brewers continued to move the ball well and defend halfway decent. Yet a few minutes into the half things got worse. There was some bad defending, some unlucky passes and bounces, as well as 10 minutes and 4 unanswered goals. We went from wining to being down by one. I blame Jamie for not coming back into the game. 

It was not all lost. With a minute left to go in the game, Eddie found him self with the ball on the top of the box. He looked as if he was going to try to beat two players in front of him and be the hero, but instead he rewarded a well time run to his right and split the two players with a pass to Andy, the Bearded one. He took a touch looked up, heard his brother yell as he was falling to the grown , the keeper in his face and then shot the ball. The ball hit the tips of the keepers hands and slowly went up and over. The ball hung in the air for a long time as the keeper turned and Andy watch from the ground as the ball made it way towards the goal line. The keeper never got to it and it bounced on the line and into the goal. And that is how the game ended. 

As it turns out Andy the caterer is now an international soccer player. While working or something in Mexico he was able to play in a soccer game. 

Also it seems like most of not all of the over 40 Dune Puma's have has at least one concussion. The most and maybe the worst where arguably Joe our retired bomb squally cop. He might be the only one of us to have a bomb almost blow his helmet off his head. 

Notable moment I the second half. Andy, the Beard one, challenged one of the other teams players for the ball in front of his own bench. The other guy leaned in his and Andy grabbed a handful of his shirt thinking he was going to be out run. Both players went down and the wish was blown. Andy thought he had been caught but the ref awarded the goal to the Brewers for a free kick. As Andy walked past the bench with a smile on his face he asked, ”you saw that right?" Joe also smiling said "we saw that." 

Lastly things you can say to to you husband you can't say to anyone, not even your husband. "Dan, that was almost as good as my mom's." 

2/28/2023 40 indoor Soccer 

Updated by CHAT GPT (via Justin)

Oh, baby, it was the start of the indoor soccer season, and it was hot and heavy! The game was hard-fought, and the score was a tantalizingly close 1-2. Even with the low score, it was far from dull, with both teams showing some serious possession and skill. The first half ended in a steamy 0-0 tie.

Things really heated up in the second half when the Brewers got a man up. Adam went in for a 50/50 ball, but things got rough and he got flattened against the boards. Ooh, baby! The first goal came in the middle of the half, with two Brewers players challenging for the ball, and the attacking player popped it into the net.

Things got even hotter when they scored their second goal off a cross that went right through the defender. There was some debate over whether it should have been called or not, but either way, the goal stood. Jamie kept the team in the game with a beautiful right-footed shot that bent around her marking man and went into the upper right corner of the goal. Oh, baby, that shot was just too sexy for words!

The game was full of opportunities, with three one-on-ones with the keeper, but none of them went in. Dan made a big save with a full stretch dive to stop a perfect shot into the upper right corner. Before the game, there were rumors that the Brewers would be short a few players, but four players stepped up to help out. The running wounded award went to Andy, Billy, Tator, Justin, and Andy the bearded one for their heroic efforts.

The Brewers dominated the game, with more shots on goal and more time of possession. They just needed to finish with some goals! And let me tell you, with almost any other goalkeeper in goal, they would have had some serious scores. Only a small group of four stuck around to play on the drinking team, which was surprising given the early game time.

And let's not forget the warm-up routines! One player just put his hands on his hips, elbows out, and tapped the side of his hand into his hip bone. Simple, yet effective! Another player was doing yoga before the game, but then things got a little crazy when he started leaning against the wall and moving his hips like he was trying to have sex with it. Woohoo!

And last but not least, Dan once went bowling and got into some kinky finger play with someone else's glasses. There were three major styles - the three-finger, the one-finger, and the two-finger. The three-finger seems to be the most popular, if you know what I mean. Oh, baby, this soccer game was just too hot to handle!

2/28/2023 40 indoor Soccer 

Original post for the week

Start of the new and last indoor season. It was a hard fought game. 1-2

Even with it being a low scoring game that did not mean it was a dull game. There was a lot of possession good possession for both teams and the half ended zero/zero. 

In the second half the Brewers went up a man. Adam when in for a 50/50 ball toward the side wall. He got to the ball first but quickly ran out of room and the other player flattened him against the boards. 

The first goal came in the middle of the second half. It was kind of a strange thing. Two Brewers players where challenging for a ball. The play shoot at a side angle and the ball just popped straight into the air and was lost for a minute. The attacking play it found it first and it just went into the goal. 

Shortly after that they got there second one off a cross. The shooter went right through the ball and through the defender. There was no call and the goal stood. There is about a 50/50 split as to if it should have been called or no. 

Jamie kept the team in the game with and beautiful right foot shot from the top of the goal box. With on guy defending her and just about every other defender also in the box, she bent it around her marking man, between the next and over the keeper into the upper right corner. I have no idea how the keeper even saw the shot to react. 

No more goals would come after that. Yet many many opportunities would be attempted. There were three one on ones with the keeper and none of them went in. 

Dan had a big save in the game. The shot came in from distance and it was perfect place into the upper right corner. From middle of goal he dove and was apple to get his had on it at full stretch. 

Before the game there were rumors that the Brewers would be short a few players.  The call was answer. Four players that could have been on the injured list came to help. We ended up having eleven people for the game. The Running wounded award this week got to one of the Andys, Billy, Tator, Justin with an honorable mention Andy the bearded one..

For the most part the Brewers dominated the game. They had more shots on goal and more time of possession. Now all that is needed are the goals. It was said, after the game, that with almost any other goalkeeper in goal and some of those would have gone in..

Only a small group of four stuck around to play on the Drinking team. This was a bit of a surprise since it was such  an early game. 

Two new ways to warmup for a soccer game were witnessed. The first was simple and required starching at all. Just put you hand on you hips, elbows out and then keep tapping the side you hand into your hip bone. 

The second was a little more disturbing. It started of fine. A fourth year old guy was doing yoga before the game to loosen up. Normal. Yet then he started leaning against the wall. First one knee down and chest into the wall. He switched knees. He was moving his hips a lot so, it kind of looked like he was trying to have sex with the wall.

Dan once went bowling while someone else glasses which lead into putting fingers in holes. There seems to be three major styles. The three finger, the one finger and the two finger. Three finger seems to be the most popular. 

2/14/2023 40 indoor Soccer 

Very late in the game the Brewers were down 3 to 5. And in the final moments of the game Adam snuck in our final goal. It was not pretty and Jamie did most of the work winning a ball in the corner and it trickled past the goalie and right into Adam lap. He did not hesitate, he stole the goal from Jamie and later said it was not going toward the back of the net. 

Joe was so excited about popcorn after the game he knocked over his beer and spilled all over the table. He and Jamie went to get something to clean it up and along with rags Joe came back with a new cup of beer. It seems he told the girl pouring beer what he did and she gave him a new glass of beer. This was not the end of that. When he went back with the wet rags he also took one of the empty pitchers back with him and told her that while cleaning up he spilled the pitcher. She filled up the pitcher for free and he was named MVP of the night. 

At some point in the last week or so Uihlein must have found a little extra money because there have been a few new things. First they have new lights in the parking lot. I guess some cars have been broken into, or stolen. They also added a few arcade games to the mix as well as pull tabs. Lastly and the more important thing is they fixed the urinal in the bathroom. Well fixed is a loose description. There is still ducted tape on the porcelain.  

2/7/2023 40 indoor Soccer 

Recap: Guest writer

This week we played the blenders daiquiris who came into the week with one win and a -33 goal diff.  The dune pumas came out with a comfortable 8-4 win.

Eddie opened the scoring early with a casual low shit to the near post.  Adam scored the next one soon later on his own rebound.  Gil got the next one then Adam got his second, once again on his own rebound.  Adam then scored his hat trick goal...off his own rebound.  The next one was scoured by Adam off his own rebound.  Adam scored his fifthf goal of the night from his own rebound.  Eddie got the 8th and final goal of the night by powering the ball threw the keeper.  Jaime and Bobby were there.  Joe actually put a few shots on goal. Sunny missed a PK.  Joe fell down.  Mark had a diving header.  Any scoring at all was impressive considering the concentration required to beat a keeper wearing a Hawaiian shirt, jorts, and a thong ( super hero style...underwear on the outside).

Along the way we feel asleep a few times and gave up 4 goals.  They were all due to general laziness that allowed an odd man rush transition.  Several of them were toe balls.  Other than that there wasn't much of a threat.  Dan didn't really have to make any tough saves and in fact never dove at all in the game.

Other notes:

- someone on the team once dropped acid, ate half a box of dog biscuits, and snorted purplesaurus rex.  I won't say who as it may upset his boss, the district attorney, if this info got out

- a naked threesome is better than a clothed one.  Wise words

- Jaime ran a coaching session using a popcorn box and beer cups.  Moral of the story, when defending one one on one, push the ball to the outside...always.

- "little asians" is a racist phrase 

- mark watched a guy Chop down a tree with an axe in the on ramp median at 35th and i-94.  

- man baby fell in a garbage can, stood up with it still on his head and ran around bouncing off walls.

- sarge is king of the door hardware.  Mark believes door hardware shouldn't exist.

- some things you read throughout this recap may not be entirely true

2/1/2023 40 indoor Soccer 

The scoring started early and unexpectedly. Gill pressured the goalie, who was trying to, and in the box Gill picked the ball off the keepers feet and tapped it over the line for the first goal. 

That did not last long. They scored shortly after that to tie the game. 

The Dune Pumas would score next to take the lead again. This time there was some close quarters passing from Eddie to Bobby, shot just wide of the goal and finely it came off the wall to Sarge's waiting feet wide open to score. 

Eddie made it three when he took a penalty after the  tall Andy got foaled in the box. 

Andy would once again get foaled and held later in the second half by the same guy, yet it was not called. The guy, with both hands, grabbed Andy's arm and held him. Everyone except the refs saw it. 

Later that same guy would would take out Lonny in the open field. 

Tator took the ball deep into the corner and dropped the ball right into Bobby's lap at the top of the box. With one solid touch he drove that ball straight into the back of the next, He made it look so easy.

The prettiest goal of the night would be the three short passes between Mark to The bearded one to Tator and then into the goal. Tator was able to hit both post from a vary low angle shot. 

The last goal was scored by yet another Andy. This time The bearded one went in for a fifty/fifty ball at middle field. He won the challenge and got to the ball first, but was body checked after winning the challenge. As he was getting up l, The Caterer received the ball in open space and went to goal. 

Final 8 to 4

Dan made some good saves. He saved two goals with is feet in a row. The bench could be heard screening "use your hands" "he does know he can use his hands right?"

Some would say that was a bit dickish. 

Words of advice from the wise Mark, ”never have a baby with your cousin." 

1/24/2023 40 indoor Soccer 

Last week's recap revised. 

Original recap, guest writer

"Here's your recap:

-we lost.  It was 5-1, i think.  maybe 4-1.  I dunno.

-dan got scored on a penalty kick that he wasn't ready for.

-gil had a nice goal.

-ryan watched dan, jaime, matola, and joe drink beer.  It was torture."

Additions:

Seems like there was more to this penalty than meets the eye. Details are screechy at this point. But from the things I hear, the fowl in question may have been out side the box when it occurred.  

Either way the penalty was awarded and the ref put the ball on the spot. Without warning the other teams player shot the ball. Dan was not ready. Dan never heard a whistle, nor was he asked if he was ready. Reminder this was a penalty not a dead ball.  It was  counted as a goal. 

There was was a sitting of a man baby in a game after the Dune Puma's finished. It is said that this grown man ran as if he was just learning to run. His back was straight and there was no side to side movement. Just straight lines and slow gradual turns. 

1/17/2023 40 indoor Soccer 

The return of Sarg is something we did not ever expect to see. After two years and three reinjures Sarg is back and ready to play. 

Unfortunately his come back was not what the Dune Pumas would have hoped for. Maybe we asked to much from him, maybe he was not ready, maybe it had nothing to do with his return. Either way, after leading for most of the game, the Brewers would lose this game 3 to 4. 

There were high hopes going into this game. Only one player was late, but unlike last week, the game did not start early. (editors note: the players called out last week for being late actually should up before posted start time. The game started early and they are not at fault)

The Pumas scoured the first and second call to this shoot out. 

Gill received the ball near the top of the box and smacked it home with his off foot and put it past the keeper. It would be a while before the ext goal. 

Eddie got the second late in the first half. The entire bench was yelling at him to shoot as he trapped the ball right around the penalty box. He ignored these suggestions and to somewhere between 4 and 6 touches before sneaking the call over the keeper and into the back of the net. 

The half ended this way. Two to zero is what Billy would call "the worst lead in football. "

For most of the second half there were still no goal. There were chances by all. But Dad came up big when the defence failed and there was no creativity in the offensive half for the Pumas. There was a lot of possession in the back and the midfield, but we could not get a good shot on goal without the keeper getting in the way. 

Mid of the second half the other team were able to sneak in there first goal. There was a miss communication in the defence and they snuck some in. But still it was only 2 to 1. 

Yet a little bit later they scored again. This time is was because a miss timed sub, leading to a three on two advantage. This would become a theme in the last five minutes of the game. 

Eddie had a goal called back to put the Pumas into the lead once again, but after he was pushed to the ground he hit the ball with his foot. The ball sailed in a high ark I've the keeper and over me as I watch the call just miss the cross bar and land in the goal. There was a whistle. It was not for the goal but for dangerous play. The refs ignored the fowl, but the goal was pulled back and still 2 to 2. 

Honorable mention at this point is going to be The Caterers shot/pass. He did everything right at this point. It really does not matter if he was trying to score or pass the ball. He hit the call, with some vigor, toward the far post. It went a bit wide, but Lonie was right where he would have been to tap the ball into the goal. He missed. Not the goal he missed the ball. Admitted it was a rocket, but all he needed to do with get in front of it. No one blames anyone, it was a difficult one to get Infront of. But since Kurt was not at the game, we might a well blame him this week. 

Justin would like to make one thing clear. When he PASS the ball to Andy in the corner at a high speed, what looked like a shot, was a pass.  This is good to know. The pase was of a shot. The accuracy was of a pass to one of our players in the corner. 

Another bad subbing, on our side, lead to a three on two. The other team found the open man in the corner, who found the mostly open man in the middle of the box. Score 2 to 3 

For the first time in 35 minutes we were losing. This did not lat long.  From all reports Tator was able to get another goal to tie it up. He pulled the ball out of the air with his right shoulder, passed the defender he was marking, and slotted the ball left of the keeper and into the goal. 

We could still win this. Or at least  a tie?

Nope....more bad defense. Or more to the point, more bad subs. The Pumas had a good defense, four on four and everyone marked, but in a poor timed sup the dynamic changed and the other team was able to find a free man in the corner, and like the goal before, had time to find a free man in the box to tap the ball into the back for the goal. 

As I like to do, I will say Dan had a good game. He saved my mistakes in the defense with some great saves. All the one on ones he blocked. 

Sarg wants to go back to Black, because once you go black you never go back. I don't think he likes the yellow jerseys.

If anyone left a pair of kids soccer shoes in the players box, let uihlein know. 

It also seems like there is a lack of good water proof sock. There was a lot of talk about socks. Wool socks are might not be the end all be all. Seems there might be a market for plastic socks. I would suggest they be made of  Pick n Save plastic bags. They always worked on winter soccer Saturday practices. 

Words of wisdom: you have to score more than three goals to win an indoor soccer game. 

Edit coming tomorrow............

1/10/2023 40 indoor Soccer 

Really late game this week. The Dune Pumas play Flatus at 11:30pm on Tuesday. On paper, or should I say the website, the Brewers won the game 11-7. In reality the score was flipped. We lost but it was close and we would have won if not for the last few minutes of the second half. 

The Brewers did not score the first goal. Yet the Ilecki brothers hooked up for the Brewers first goal shortly after. It was just the two of them versus three players from the other team. Adam took the ball from half and dribbled into the corner pulling all three his way. He found a little space and passed the ball to Andy who was wide open at the penalty spot. Andy tapped the ball over the keeper, into the cross bar and into the goal to tie it up. He was heard, after scoring, chastising his bother saying, "did you have to run so fast?" Andy then subbed out. 

From there the Brewers went down 3 to 1. It took a while and there was some good possession buy both teams at this point. Eddie got his first one before Adam got a second  assist, of the night, to Lonny to tie it up at threes. 

It was at this point the Pumas fell apart for a few minutes. Three unanswered goals would slip in against them as the half ended. 

Eddie got two more goals in the second half to give him a hat trick. Both were basically the same. He receive the ball in the middle of the box and took one touch to beat a defender and pushed the ball into the goal. One of these goal was yet again assisted by Adam. 

In the second half Brewers brought the goal difference to two at one point. That would be the closest they would get from this point on.

Joe had the weakest goal in game. He took a pass from a dead ball and took a shot. Everyone thought the goalie was going to save it. The ball was so close to the post that when the keeper went down for it the ball hit his hands and his foot. As we all watched in amazement it trickled though and just over the line. It never hit the net. 

Now we talk about Eddie again. He was dribbling the ball out of the back. He beat two people to get out of the defensive zone. A third play joined in as he held the ball with three people on his back. He beat all of them at least once with a move before he was finally hacked from behind and went down. The foul was called but while he was on the ground he swung his leg toward the opposing player and caught his leg. The refs were not having this and gave him a yellow card. 

The Brewers got scored on while being a man down but did not get their player back because when you get a yellow card it is a hard two minutes. 

You could tell the game was getting a little choppy after this. The other team got a blue card shortly after this for dissension when swore at the hick ref after disagreeing with a call. 

Now it is four versus four when Gill dribbled the ball into the box and get fouled from behind. This leads to another blue card and a penalty. Gil does not miss these and he scored the last goal for the Pumas. 

There was no drinking after the game. 

Two players showed up late for the game and one never showed up at all. 

Editors note: remember no matter how your body feels after the game and into the morning. We do this for fun. 

Edit: the game started early and not one was late.

1/3/2023 40 indoor Soccer 

First game of the year. 11-2

A late recap this time, but that also sums up how we started the game. It took the Dune Pumas a while to get into the flow of the 9:30pm game. Everyone start slow and seemed not ready to play, even though almost everyone was on time and warmed up time on and off the field. 

There was a quick goal scored against us within minutes of the start and still the motivation was not being shown. But after some awhile The Dune Pumas scored a forgettable goal because no one could be sure who put it in. 

More time goes by and the other team scores again. This time it was Dan's fault. He will admit it. He misplayed the ball off the wall and could not handle it as it hit the ground right in front of the goal. An opposing player was close enough to him to get a toe on the ball and put them in the lead, again. This is why goals should not do a no drink January. 

Now we are losing 1-2, but this was the turning point. Within moments of the kick off Bobby strutted down the field to put one past the goal to tie it up for the second time. This was the wake up call the team needed. Five more unanswered goals were scored before half and the other team would not score another goal the entire game. 

The game ended 11-2 for the good guys with multiple people scoring and a few scoring two goals. We could not remember who scored all the goals, but let's do our best to figure out some of them.

Eddie chipped the keeper, because Eddie chips the keeper. It took a few tries and each of the attempts got closer and closer. First he hit the net high, then he hit the net high again but a little bit lower, the third shot hit the wall and finally the third went in. The progression was staggering and I am sure most people would have give up after the third miss.

Jamie ended up with one, but it was in the first half and, as I pointed out, most of the team was asleep in the first half and could not remember most of it. As a side note: Jaime took at least three impressive rocket shots, as she does, but all of them went well high of the goal. 

The bearded one ended up with two one in each half. The second one took two attempts to beat the keeper. The ball came of the wall from a well placed chip over the defense's heads into the corner. It was trapped and shot with the left for into the keeper and came right back to him. It was then struck with the outside of the right and snuck right between the goalies legs. 

The tall Andy and Bobby were involved with the first goal for the Bearded one. Andy brought the ball up and passed the ball across the goal to Bobby in the opposite corner. Under pressure Bobby passed it back into the middle of the goal, a little off target, where The Bearded One had to stretch his left leg out so far that he had to put his right knee on the ground to redirect it on goal. 

There was also an own goal scored in the game by the other team. I think Lonny I think The Caterer crossed the ball into the box right into Jason's path, but the man defending him got there first and scored on his own team. Jason had it the entire way. 

Jason would get his later. The ball was passed to him during a two on one. He received it in the box, paused and took a stutter step to fake out the keeper and passed the ball into the corner. There is some debate as to if he meant to make that move. Observers later asked him is he miss handled it and almost tripped on the ball, but in the end no one cares.

The Bearded One could have had a hat trick in this game, but was forced to make a decision at the last minute. He had beaten one player and had a clear shot on goal. All that he would have needed to do was beat the keeper.Instead he saw Bobby finishing the run to the far post and decided to play the ball for a tap in. After the goal he was heard to have said "The one was for you Bobby." In reality he was mad that Bobby forced him to make the choice in the first play and wished Bobby would not have made that run.

Lonny did not score. He may have had the most opportunities, in the box and right on the line, but he could not get the right touch on the ball to put in the back of the net. 

There were other goals and in total the drinking team could only account for nine of them. Yet we all assume that all three of Andy's scored at least one which would bring us to the total of eleven. One of those Andy's got two.

The drinking team was small this week and smaller than the number that hung out after the game. Two members of the drinking team have decided that January is a month for not drinking. This would become more upsetting as we found out that they are counting the number of pitchers  consumed by each team and will be giving out a prize to the team that drank the most. Without them the team of five dropped down to three. We are off to a slow start with only two pitchers consumed. I could be worse next week with an 11:30pm game.

There was a lot of talk after the game about construction and brick laying. Some naughty dry wall talk followed by how much landscaping costs. No one knows why change orders only go one way and you always round up to the nearest dollar. 

And since this was an over forty's team, there was a lot of talk about past and nagging injuries. Yet no one is willing to quit the beautiful game. 

Lastly: we all hope for the best for Damar Hamlin. The Milwaukee Brewers FC had a similar scare during a coed indoor game where one of there member was given CPR on the field in the middle of the game.  Joe, one of the Dune Pumas, helped save our team mates life before the ambulance got there.

12/20 over 40 indoor Soccer 

Last game of the season and the year. It was a semi successful game. It was not a win, but it was not a total loss. It was a tie. 6- 6 to end the game after the Brewers Dune Pumas lead more than half the game. 

The Brewers took the lead early and racked up 4 goals before the Wednesdays even scored one. Yet would blow that lead with 3 unanswered points before scoring again.  Even Wallee the ref would point this out after the 3rd goal. Yet the Brewers would be in the lead, or tie,  untill late in the second half where they would be down 6-5 for a short time.

 I will do my best to put goals in the right order, but since I was playing, for most of the game,  I will not guarantee any such thing.

Bobby got the first goal and once again showing he can put the ball in the back of the net, It took him a few tries, all in the same attempt.  Once he received the ball in the box he shot the ball (save), shot the ball after it fell at his feet a second time (blocked) and shot the ball one more time for a goal. I guess the third time's the charm and it started the team off on the right foot. 

Eddie also got a goal once he won the ball at half field. Adam ran left, calling for the ball the entire time, while Eddie  dribbled the ball right at the only defender between him and the goal. We will give Adam the assist on this one since he was such a bother that he pulled the defender towards him leaving Eddie a nice clear shot on goal. He beat the keeps with a well placed shot to put the team up yet another goal.

Now I am not sure of this, but I think the third goal was by The Caterer. He made a half field run without the ball to receive the ball from Joe who threaded the needle between two defenders right into Andy's stride. Some would say Andy's first touch was a little big. Yet it was still within his grasp. He touched the ball for the second time and slid it under the keeper right before they ran into each other.

Jamie stole a goal for Justin after Jason Took a shot from distance. The ball bounced off the wall and toward Justin, who was ready to pick it out of the air, but Jamie got in the way and it bounced off her shoulder and into the goal. There is not doubt that Justin would have put this in if it had come to him. He would also have another chance a little later when the ball came off the keeper and he had a chance to nood it into the goal from point blank range. It was a solid redirection, but the keeper changed direction and was able to get the save.

Late in the second half Jamie would have another chance to put a goal in the back of the net. Jason received the ball at the top of the arch. Instead of doing the Jason thing and turning and shooting dropped the ball to Jamie a few yards back. She took the shot from distance and it just lasered  under the crossbar and into the goal. It was remarked late that no one thought she should take that shot. She has a reputation of putting these shots well over the goal, but this one was perfect.

There were two injuries to come out of this game.  Both the Ilecki brothers would come out of this game with a little more pain than they went into it with. Adam was cross checked into the boards late in the game and was almost bent in half when he hit the wall. He laid on the ground for a while holding his back. He did not play the rest of the game (two minutes) Adam also jammed his thumb when he hit the ground before this. 

The other Ilecki was also injured in the second half. Andy ended up taking a shot on goal. The keeper saved it. Yet in the motion of that shot Andy felt something give in his quad. . After he went down he looked around to see what hit him and after looking it was noticed that there was no rock around, no randam shoe and no players around that might have hit him. Now it is still early, but after not seeing a doctor it has been concluded that he pulled something. 

Have a pleasant non denominational holiday event.

12/13 over 40 indoor Soccer 

There were a few goals scored tonight. The final score was 16 - 2 but the score board stopped counting at 13 - 2. For the most part everyone scored today, with two exceptions. 

We started off quick with a few goals and because of how many, I could no longer tell you who scored first. But I will do my best with the highlights in no particular order. 

Justin had a fancy goal in the first half. He was on the post with the ball, keeper at his back, goal at his back when he spun around and dragged the ball around and into the back of the goal. It was not exactly a back heel, more like a wrap around goal. 

Billy came off  injured reserve to lead the scoring total with five total goals and four assists. Two of his goals came from an assist from Andy, the bearded one. And two of his goals he assisted him self. He was on fire. Not bad for a guy that said before the game that he was out of shape. He didn't even play the entire game on the field.  He would take some time off from scoring and play a little goal keeper late in the second half. He did not let anyone score on him. 

While Billy was in the goal Dan came out and decided to play a little bit of offence. He scored two goals. The first he made a bold run up the line and hit the wall with his body as hard as he hit the bad into the goal. 

Over all there was a lot of good passing around the front of the goal. There was an Andy to Andy goal where the Caterer got one of his two goals after he  ran nearly the full field to receive the ball across the goal and he just hammered it home. Straight as a arrow. 

Sunny scored twice. 

Jamie had a few good shots but most of them went well above the goal. She did not score at all. The other player that did not score was Mark. He has a few good passes but not much more to say about that. 

Late in the second half Justin decided to toy with one of the other teams players. There was a fifty/fifty ball that Justin collected easily. Yet the other player was trying to get the ball away from him. Justine just held the ball at his feet for a bit then beat the player and moved up field a foot or two. He then decided to wait for the player to catch up to him and beat him again. I think he was trying to make a friend. 

Yet this was not the dick move of the game. Eddie would take that honor when late in the game, after the score board stopped counting our goals. He went one on one with a defender, megged him and then passed the ball past the keeper. It was dirty and somewhat embarrassing for the player, but it was a nice goal. 

Andy, the Bearded one, score two goals in the night. The surprising thing about this is that neither of them were score with the outside of the right foot. There was one shot like that but it did not go in. The two goal were both scored with the old rusty gate,  left foot and well placed.

Tim also got a goal but he should have had two, but if he would have scored on his second attempt Andy would not have had  his second left footed goal of the game 30 seconds into the second half and then suped out. 

After the game there was some talk about good looking ass holes. But it's not what you might think, the ass while was a person....we have all met a person like this. 

There was a little bit of hate directed at one of the workers at the complex. Not sure the hate was justified. But the story I heard was one of the players on our team once asked her if she could borrow one shoe from the lost and found since she forgot her's. I guess the worker said no in a vary short and insulting manner. This lead to some insults about fighting and tearing her a second vagina. It as at this point Adam heard one of the worst things he could ever hear. Yet something that has been said many times and might have been inappropriate. I am sorry, but it was said "you would not need to find it just Fuck the folds ..... What no one has ever been whaling before?" Nope I am not proud of this but it was said. 

Oh and it turns out Billy is short for William. Seems like not everyone knows this. 

Robert did not show up this week. Neither did Bobby.