Prompt 2: You have just received a strange letter. The sender claims to be you, 20 years in the future.
Have you ever asked yourself why you have to do all things to please everyone around you? Because I have. Everyday, every minute, every second, I asked myself why? Why do I have to do this? I have to be a proper lady, I have to be a lady. I have to be a good daughter, the best one. I have to be an honor student, the one with no grade lower than 90. I have to live to the fullest, but am I really living?
I can't seem to be happy. I smile and yes, I absolutely laugh but I feel this empty void inside me. Everything I do is just routinary. I have to wear this mask to hide myself, to his the true me. Not the one they see. I conceal the weak, fragile and even suicidal "me" so they would see the proper lady, the good daughter, the honor student they expect me to be. But I'm not happy with this.
I was snapped at my thoughts when my mom knocked my bedroom door. I quickly wiped my tears, cleared my mind as if I'm not having a mental breakdown a minute ago. I opened the door and did not open the lights so she would not see my puffy eyes.
"My dear, someone left this letter in the mailbox. It is addressed to you," she said. Confusion and curiosity entered my head. Who would write a letter to me?
"It must be an admirer," she said teasingly.
"Mom, no. I will obey your order that I will not get into a relationship until I graduate college." See, the good daughter side I show her.
"Okay, okay. I admit defeat. I am so lucky to have you as my daughter." Yeah mom, you are so lucky to have me as you daughter but little did you know, I lost myself trying to prove myself to you.
I closed the door as she walk away and turned on the light to read this letter.
"To Primrose Levi"
Wow, it really is addressed to me. I thought mom was just kidding. I opened the letter without expecting what would happen next. It says:
"Having suicidal thoughts? I would not try to stop you, but keep in mind, I tell you this, you are just in the middle of the storm. Soon, you'll find your rainbow. :)"
This letter gave me goosebumps. Who would send this trash of encouragement to me? I remember I did not sign up for that encouragement club at school. I immediately put that letter on the trash can. I cannot carry anymore burden.
The next day, as I am leaving the house to go to school, something extraordinary happened. Who would have thought that the mailbox would magically glow? Maybe I need professional help. I cannot let this ruin the image I have built.
Unconsciously, I approached the mailbox and opened it. A letter is inside. Whom is it addressed to? Me, I quickly opened the letter and it says:
"Why are you so afraid to tear that image down? It brought no good to you. Listen to me, Primrose. Everybody is ready to accept you. Everyone including mom. They know you are having a hard time. Believe me for I am you 20 years in the future."
I do not believe you. I will not let anyone stand in my way, even if it means myself. I will not put this mask down. This is who they love, this is who they accept. This is what they want me to be. I have to be this. I have to. So they would accept me, love me.
I have to defend myself from this, so I did what I have to do. I grabbed a pen and a paper and did the most craziest thing in my life. I'm going to write a letter.
"To Primrose Levi, 20 years later,
Don't stop me if you know me well. You know how hard it is. You know what I am going through. So why would you let me stop? Why? So please, don't. I won't listen to you. I won't so stop."
I put the letter in the mailbox. I would not expect a reply. Why am I doing this? How silly of me. I'm literally going crazy.
After that I did not get a reply. How crazy of me to think it is time. Even after 20 years, I did not get a reply. I am still not happy pretending. I am still not happy. Mom died 15 years ago because of an accident. I haven't finished college because of that. I became a trash. I have no reason to keep going but I'm still breathing. I'm still breathing to live with guilt, guilt of not showing my true self. My true self I lost because of this mask. I am wondering maybe, just maybe, if I have listened to that letter, maybe I would be happy. Maybe I found my own rainbow. But still, here I am, after 20 years, in the middle of the storm.
Prompt 2: You have just received a strange letter. The sender claims to be you, 20 years in the future.
"Before the Chaos: 20 Years Into the Future"
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Our Mother Earth provides enough for us to strive through. How nice it is to live in this world! There are mountains of green, which provide us shelter, oceans of blue that give us food, and a colorful surrounding to fill the awe in our eyes. See just how nice it is to live.
But why are they saying that our world is dying? Why are they saying that we should stop abusing it? Isn't it our right to loiter in it since this is our world? We can throw garbage everywhere, cut all the trees, pollute the air, and poach all the animals - as much as we want. It's not like something bad will happen if we do so, right?
I'm currently here at our school, picking trashes in the whole campus because our teacher saw me loitering garbage there in the grass. There are plastic, plastic bottles, styros, and every kind of trash you could ever imagine. But a shining black paper caught my attention. It was like a black hole, pulling me towards it, saying I should pick it up. And suddenly I found my self picking it, reading it and looking through it.
"Help! Help! Help!"
The grounds are shaking, abruptly, breaking every man-made infrastructures standing. Crashing bridges that are supposed to connect people and places. Tearing lands that are supposed to stand as pillars. Giving every person an anxiety.
What am I going to do? I'm lost in this world full of chaos.
Fire! Everything is set into fire!
Our forest which gives us oxygen and a home to many living creatures is burning. It's burning everything fastly turning nature into ashes. Killing thousands of innocent animal species. What am I going to do? I'm stuck in this world full of burning anger.
It's melting! The glaciers are melting!
All the land is drowning in the depth of the seas due to melting ice. The penguins, polar bear and seas are losing their habitat. We are losing our home.
What am I going to do? I'm drowning in this world deepened by dreams and ambitions of modernization.
Bang! Bang! Bang!
A war! Another war has started. A very big tank gun there, troops of soldiers with high caliber guns anywhere, nowhere is safe. The children are covered with immense fear and anxiety losing their hope of living in a peaceful world of tomorrow .
What am I going to do? I'm suffering in this world filled with greed of every nation.
I never expected the world to be like this! I thought it was just a mere take and granted relationship with our Earth but I was. If I have know that loitering, cutting trees and polluting the environment would turn the world like this, I would have treated the world better.
But it is hopeless now. I can do nothing about this chaos. All I can do is to wish that the ground I am standing will not shake be covered by the sea or be involved in a war.
In my 20 years of not treating the world right, I am regretting all of it now."
I finished reading the letter. My eyes were sweating tears and my imagination is filled with dark thoughts because of what I have read.
As I was about to put the paper in the trash can, I saw a name in it. Adrian Nazrene Bitoon, 2040. It was me, 20 years from now, suffering from all the bad deeds I did in the present.
Prompt 1: You point out a strange looking house in your neighborhood. Your friends say they don’t see anything.
I'm lost.
I'm scared.
I knew it.
No one can save me now.
I try to calm myself but I failed. My hands are shaking and my heart won't stop beating fast.
I keep looking outside the window. Hoping that it could calm down my nerves but no. The only thing that matter to me is to escape. To find someone who can save me.
I don't mean to see it. I really don't But they won't listen to me. And now my friends are nagging me. Asking me everything.
But I should have known better than that. They are just curious but they do not care. They just want information by not going to help me. They want to know but don't believe me.
Why me? For all the people, why am I the only one who can see it? Why not them? Why not?
My tears won't stop falling as I sit down on the floor. And now I can't escape this place. The place I pointed out to my friends but they do not see it. They don't believe it.
I'm lost.
I'm scared.
I knew it.
No one can save me now.
No one can save me in the dark. No one can understand me.
But then I must be strong. I inhaled deeply and started to walk towards the door. The moment I step outside, I saw my friends. They stared at me and started running while screaming. I look down and stared at my feet. I saw a broken glass and watch my reflection through it.
I am crying but slowly my face started smiling and laughing. I close my eyes and stared at the broken glass again. There I saw my left eye crying continuously while my right eye is smiling.
I tried to fight it but then she is strong. The half of me is strong. She control me every time and won't let me escape in that house. And my friends won't see it. They won't believe me.
But now I tried to show them. But they ran away. I guess it's really hard to accept me. I slowly walk toward the house as she started consuming me. And now I'm back inside the house.
And here, I am home.