Bible Bodies Collection

I was groomed to be a Mannequin.

Love the Sin, Hate The Sinner

I was born moments after my twin brother to a Mormon family of now six children. We went to church every Sunday, I was baptized at eight years old, I went to Girls Camp and Temple visits. The lessons taught at church were of a strict binary. As a result, I was groomed to be a mother and a housemaker for a man; this was the destiny given to me from birth.

Holy Ghost Abandoned Temple

Motherly Love Was More Than

Heavenly Father Could Give

Various motherly figures taught me how to sew and cook; I had church lessons on how women shouldn’t have a career and should focus on creating a family. I was taught how to scrapbook, so one day I could show my daughter how to keep family history, but this intention to be a mother never appealed to me. I was much more interested in holding the Priesthood and being the head of a household – fulfilling the masculine role of Mormonism. However, my little steps into gender exploration were met with stifled whispers behind locked doors about how to “handle” the queer child. My mother left the church when I was twelve, and I didn’t understand at the time that this would be my saving grace. My parents were adamant supporters of my decisions to cut my hair short and wear the clothes I felt most comfortable in, despite church leadership issues with it. I felt excluded at church, and butted heads with leadership around my queerness until I ultimately left the church at sixteen.

Cunt/Lesbian

A Proclamation of the Family

As I’ve revisited these memories as an adult, a well of complex emotions has overflown into my artwork, using bright colors and neon pink to highlight certain memories or feelings. When I began using image gel transfers, my work transformed into the scrapbook I used to hate, but it no longer showed news clippings from someone’s recital. My scrapbook details the complex emotional and physical reality I know as a gender non-conforming person who was raised under such strict binary rules. Much like a mannequin, I was molded to be a tool that presented the success of others, which bolstered their value. Now, my purpose is to capture the way memories are felt, not just remembered; the way memories skew and become more complex as I age.

I Gave You My Sacrament