Ideas for the film began when Reiner and Penny Marshall divorced. An interview Ephron conducted with Reiner provided the basis for Harry. Sally was based on Ephron and some of her friends. Crystal came on board and made his own contributions to the screenplay. Ephron supplied the structure of the film with much of the dialogue based on the real-life friendship between Reiner and Crystal. The soundtrack consists of standards from Harry Connick Jr., with a big band and orchestra arranged by Marc Shaiman. For his work on the soundtrack, Connick won his first Grammy Award for Best Jazz Male Vocal Performance.
During the drive, Harry and Sally discuss their differing ideas about relationships; Sally disagrees with Harry's assertion that men and women cannot be friends as, "the sex part gets in the way". They stop at a diner, and when Harry tells Sally she is very attractive, she angrily accuses him of making a pass. They part company in New York, never intending to see each other again.
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During the screenwriting process when Ephron did not feel like writing, she would interview people who worked for the production company. Some of the interviews appeared in the film as the interludes between certain scenes featuring couples talking about how they met,[2] although the material was rewritten and reshot with actors. Ephron supplied the structure of the film with much of the dialogue based on the real-life friendship between Reiner and Crystal.[7] For example, in the scene where Sally and Harry appear on a split-screen, talking on the telephone while watching their respective television sets, channel surfing, was something that Crystal and Reiner did every night.[7]
Originally, Ephron wanted to call the film How They Met and went through several different titles. Reiner even started a contest with the crew during principal photography: whoever came up with the title won a case of champagne.[3] In order to get into the lonely mindset of Harry when he was divorced and single, Crystal stayed by himself in a separate room from the cast and crew while they were shooting in Manhattan.[7] The script initially ended with Harry and Sally remaining friends and not pursuing a romantic relationship because she felt that was "the true ending", as did Reiner.[3] Eventually, Ephron and Reiner realized that it would be a more appropriate ending for them to marry, though they admit that this was generally not a realistic outcome.[8]
In a scene featuring the two title characters having lunch at Katz's Delicatessen in Manhattan, the couple are arguing about a man's ability to recognize when a woman is faking an orgasm. Sally claims that men cannot tell the difference, and to prove her point, she vividly (fully clothed) fakes one as other diners watch. The scene ends with Sally casually returning to her meal as a nearby patron (played by Reiner's mother) places her order, deadpan: "I'll have what she's having." When Estelle Reiner died at age 94 in 2008, The New York Times referred to her as the woman "who delivered one of the most memorably funny lines in movie history".[10] This scene was shot "over and over again",[11] and Ryan demonstrated her fake orgasms for hours.[8] Katz's Deli still hangs a sign above the table that says, "Where Harry met Sally... hope you have what she had!"[12][13]
Harry Burns: I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
I am consistently saddened when I revisit movies I once loved and find that I can no longer enjoy them because the leading man is repulsive. Romantic comedies don't work in the same way when you actively root against the inevitable love match. After my 2018 rewatch, I regret to report that "When Harry Met Sally" falls into this bucket. Harry is garbage, Sally deserves better, and I can no longer view this movie with rose colored glasses. I realize that it's written by women (the Ephrons), but it's still a product of the 80s and adheres to terrible genre conventions of the time.
When they meet the second time, Sally is in the airport with her boyfriend, Joe (Steven Ford). Harry sees them and makes polite, boring small talk with Joe, also a University of Chicago grad, and pretends to not know Sally. On the flight, Sally realizes that Harry is sitting behind her when he starts razzing her over her drink order and asking if they ever fucked. He clearly knows who she is and is just being a dick, but this behavior demonstrates that he's the same scumbag he was in college.
After harassing Sally about the length of her relationship with Joe, Harry reveals that he's getting married to a woman named Helen Helson. Sally laughs at this news, because she finds it absurd. And it is absurd, which Harry confirms when he details the reason why he's marrying Helen.
It's sad that Harry thinks all relationships are so prescriptive. Not all women like to snuggle, and not all men hate snuggling. There are plenty of women who prefer casual sex over intimacy and there are countless men who do not. Our genitalia does not define our behavior, dammit. When the plane lands, Sally exits and attempts to read her newspaper in peace. Since Harry doesn't know when to quit, he catches up with her and once again, starts blathering on about male/female friendship. He asks her to dinner "as friends" and says it's okay, because they're both in relationships (an amendment to his original statement). Instead of stopping there, he continues theorizing and ends up immediately backtracking.
That doesn't work either because what happens then is the person you're involved with can't understand why you need to be friends with the person you're just friends with. Like it means something is missing from their relationship and "why do you have to go outside to get it?" Then when you say, "No no no no, it's not true nothing's missing from the relationship," the person you're involved with then accuses you of being secretly attracted to the person you're just friends with, which we probably are, I mean, come on, who the hell are we kidding, let's face it, which brings us back to the earlier rule before the amendment which is men and women can't be friends, so where does that leave us?
This is Harry's third revision on his "men and women can't be friends" premise. At this point, the Ephrons want us to believe that he's evolving ... but he's still treating Sally like an object and marveling over the fact that he doesn't want to fuck her. A friend who is attractive that you don't want to fuck? Revolutionary! He's practically a feminist. Even this improved version of Harry can't cool it with the philosophical musings on male and female differences. Can you imagine how excited he must have been when "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus" hit the shelves?
As Harry and Sally become legitimate friends, the movie improves slightly. They have some really nice days together and just when I start to think that I don't hate watching them interact, Harry says something dumb and it all crumbles. When I see the split screen of them watching "Casablanca," I think, "Oh, that's nice." A few second later, I immediately change my mind because Harry starts blathering on about how "there are two kinds of women: high maintenance and low maintenance." This guy loves picking out minor traits and using them to define a woman's entire existence. It's barely tolerable, let alone charming.
While Marie talks Sally down from her side of the bed, Jess listens to Harry on his. (It's not clear why Jess and Marie have two separate phone lines, but whatever.) Harry tells Jess, "The doing part was good. But then I felt suffocated." HOW DID YOU FAIL TO ANTICIPATE THIS? If this is a feeling that you experience often, maybe wait until you've discussed things with your friend before recklessly sticking your dick in her when she's sad.
Harry knows he fucked up, and spends the rest of the movie trying to win Sally back. He leaves desperate messages on her machine, sometimes even with the aid of a microphone (why). He wants to take her to a New Year's Eve party, but Sally declines. We all know how the movie ends. She goes to the party with some other dude while Harry walks around the city, sad and lonely. She's getting ready to leave when he thinks back on all of their happy times spent together and decides to run to the party and declare his love for her. His speech is vomit-inducing, but she loves it. As "Auld Lang Syne" plays in the background, they kiss, and the audience just knows that they will live happily ever after.
Harry's speech is a prelude to all of the character traits that will surely tear their impending marriage apart. Harry loves that she takes an hour and a half to order a sandwich? A likely story. No one loves that shit! It's annoying. We're supposed to be happy that these two end up together, but the movie gives us zero reason to feel that way. Their single sexual encounter was disastrous and in general, they have the chemistry of Donald Trump and Melania. Harry seems annoyed by everything Sally does, and vice versa. They don't communicate well, especially when it comes to honestly expressing emotions. Yes, they're friends and they have fun when the stakes are low, but they don't act like a team. I'm down to see these two continue hanging out and lowkey razzing each other, but I don't want them to get married. What the fuck?
the fact that the scene where harry and sally watch casablanca at the same time while talking on the phone was something rob reiner and billy crystal did every night,, fellas is it gay to base a heterosexual romantic comedy you're directing on your real-life friendship with the lead actor? e24fc04721
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