Werewolves Are Real

Chasing Mongrels

Ever since I discovered the existence of werewolves, I made it my mission to reveal the truth to the world. But one cannot expect to change people's minds without evidence. And so my hunt began.

Arkansas

My search started in Arkansas, where I had tracked a pack down. Four werewolves in total; two males, one female, and one pup. The oldest had reached the age where shifting was dangerous, and the younger male would often go out to hunt. But he was sloppy, leaving a whole trail of clues. That’s how I found them. The sole female of the group I have yet to see shift, as she works a human job.

When the grandpa died suddenly, I tried to find where they had buried the body, but I never did. I spent so much time searching that I nearly lost the pack’s trail. But I soon caught up with them.

Florida

I tracked them in Florida next. But they didn’t stay very long before they were headed to a new state. Always on the run.

However, it had been a productive stop for me. I found some old werewolf books that seemed to contain legitimate information. Apparently, like dogs, werewolves are incapable of crying (Jones 47). Although I’m not sure how accurate that is, since I have observed the pup crying. Perhaps it is because he has yet to go through his shift?

Werewolves have a pretty particular wardrobe. They do not all dress the same, but they do avoid wearing tights or panty hose. I read a gruesome story about a werewolf who wore the wrong thing and got impacted. Trust me, I’ll spare you the details.

I also learned which legends are false, such as the one that says werewolves came about as a result of children being conceived on the eve of religious holidays, like Christmas and Easter. Christian holidays were meant to be a time of abstinence, “Failure to do so, and the possible conception of a child will … bring deformity and 'animal characteristics' to the infant at birth. … The legends tell of children who … became werewolves” (Senn 206). I overhead the pup talking to the she-wolf in a grocery store and she corrected him when he said, “her palms aren’t hairy … and she’s not the seventh son and she wasn’t born on Christmas" (Jones 111), all of which are untrue characteristics of a werewolf.

Alabama

In Alabama, the pup attends primary school. I tried to get his teacher, Mrs. Luc-Casey to spill something on the family, but she was close-lipped, citing something about confidentiality. But while there I discovered something interesting. It looked as though the janitor was among the furry.

I deduced that by the fact that he continuously popped breath mints, which werewolves are notorious for doing to hide the dog breath. And by the way he moved and perceived the world, nose first, in order to detect the scents which human noses are unaware of. And also, there was the little fact that I watched him shift and chase after the pup and the she-wolf as they left the school. Pity, he didn’t catch them.

Louisiana

Louisiana is the first time the pup tries to run away, but the she-wolf chases him down and returns him to their den.

I have noticed that she is particularly protective of her nephew. She reminds me of a story I read once about a she-wolf who was canny enough to avoid traps and became a gruesome predator in order to feed her children. “Although the she-wolf enters from the wild and seizes flocks … she also acts as an agent of Eros” (Epstein 59). Eros is the Greek god of chaos, meaning that the she-wolf’s breaking of conventional norms had caused disorder.

This particular she-wolf whose name I’ve discovered, is Libby, reminds of her. She is intelligent and massively protective of her nephew, becoming a predator when the need arises. And she also breaks some of society’s gender norms as she is the main provider of income for the family.

I’m not entirely sure what to make of this yet. But I’ll keep you informed.

Texas

Following the pack to Texas was interesting. I noticed that the male wolf has a penchant for strawberry wine coolers, but I have yet to determine if this is a werewolf trait or not.

While there, the excitement increased exponentially. The she-wolf went full out werewolf while at work. Normally, it is Darren that is causing all the trouble, but this time poor Libby drew the short end of the stick. Through my observations, I have discovered that Libby views werewolfdom quite differently than her brother. He basks in the power, but she acts as though it is a punishment. It reminds me of the werewolf legends from Germany, in which “Werewolves are punished people” (Blécourt 29).

They got out of their little tussle, by Darren shooting his sister. I’ll admit, I was shocked when it happened. But the bullet wasn’t silver, so she would recover. Unlike Darren’s finger which he left behind at the dog kennel. I later recovered it from the traumatized girl at the desk and realized it had been infected by silver. That’s something the myths got right at least. The moon may not have any effect, but silver will get the job done.

New Mexico

It’s no surprise that they couldn’t stay in Texas after that, so I followed them to New Mexico. The four months they were there, it was just the she-wolf and the pup. Darren was off hauling trailer homes, but I knew he’d be back so I didn’t bother to follow. Instead, I used the time to observe and do more research.

I read some scholarly texts that dated back to the 1500s when Livonia was especially known for harboring vicious werewolves. But soon a different type of werewolf began to emerge after the trial of Thiess, who was charged with lycanthropy. It was quite shocking when he openly confessed to being a werewolf in court. Everyone believed that shapeshifting was a result of the Devil, but Thiess “opposed them vehemently: he and his fellow werewolves were benevolent creatures, ‘Hounds of God’ who had to fight the Devil” (Donecker 290). This idea of a godly werewolf who defended society was an entirely new concept and completely ridiculous. I’ve witnessed this pack do some terrible things, they are hardly “hounds of God.”

Georgia

In Georgia, there was another interesting incident. The pup met a girl at school and her grandfather turned out to be a werewolf. He had a neat little business where he made silver bullets, but here’s the catcher. The clients had to provide the silver, so what the old man would do is pocket the silver and make plated bullets. He was making a pretty penny right up until the granddaughter brought the pup around. He must not have liked that very much because he tried to kill him that night. He was a beautiful werewolf, even in his old age, completely snowy white. I was almost sad to see Darren take care of the problem, turning him into roadkill.

South Carolina

In South Carolina the pack, or I should say Darren in particular, got another fan. Except she was sloppy and clueless, they caught on immediately and she never realized she was on the trail of an actual werewolf. The scat collector was probably honestly worried about the creature who continued to ingest all kinds of sparkly plastic bits. Little did she know it was Darren and the pup messing with her.

This is also where I learned about the different types of werewolves:

Man-wolves/moondogs: Humans who been infected by true-born werewolves. They cannot transform into a full wolf, only getting half-way. These are the creatures the movies are based on. Their shifts are slow and painful.

Offspring of a werewolf and werewolf pairing: Pups are full wolf, never able to transform to human. The werewolf blood is strong, which is why werewolves don’t mate with their own kind.

Sad Eyes: When man-wolves/moondogs impregnates a dog, the offspring are these hybrid monsters. Silver no longer works on them. All they want to do is hunt and it is imperative that they are killed so they can no longer produce more numbers. They reminded be of the “Migratory legends, such as the Werewolf Lover/Husband and the Hungry Farmhand … As is the case with the nightmare, the meaning of the werewolf metaphor turns out to be sexual: "werewolf" denotes a sexually deviant man” ( Blécourt 23). It is this very sexually deviancy that brings about these creatures in the first place

Lycanthropes: Werewolves who have been a wolf for too long and have forgotten their human selves, but go through a trauma that jumpstarts the body into shifting back to human. When they wake up though, they are a wolf’s mind inside a human’s body.

Sheep: Werewolves who do not shift.

North Carolina

In North Carolina, our motley crew ran into a pack of, apparently, Jewish werewolves who decided the cemetery was the best place to have a snack. This lead to a series of unfortunate events all of which ended with a bear wreaking havoc and the crew leaving the state.

I wish I had more details about the goings on, but I had personal business to attend to and so I wasn't not present for all the fuss. I was only able to piece together what happened after the fact.

Florida

We were back in Florida, and things certainly got interesting. Darren was kidnapped because (apparently there is still something about werewolves I did not know) their urine makes a great pesticide. For this reason, Darren was kidnapped for the purpose of harvesting his urine. It was a close call, by the time Libby, the pup, and a human named Grace-Ellen rescued him, he had aged what appeared to be a lifetime.

Darren went on to marry Grace-Ellen, who had previously been married to a werewolf, who was killed by the same people who kidnapped Darren. She knows a lot about werewolves, and I learned a lot as well after I broke into her home and stole a few notebooks full of werewolf facts. Apparently, the key to a human female surviving having werewolf children is to wear silver. Actually makes me kind of sad to know the pup's mother would have survived had they known that information.

I also learned a new werewolf legend from the book Vladimir Chigrintsev that takes place in the 18th century. After the end of a siege, a supporter of the peasant rebellion tries to flee but is confronted by Prince Derbetev, “He begs for mercy, but the Prince … pierces him with his sword. As the man lies dying, he vows to come back as a werewolf (volkudlak). This threat comes to haunt generations of Derbetevs” (Brougher 493). It is interesting that this genesis story portrays werewolves originating as undead creatures. Perhaps that explains the pup’s fondness of vampires as well as Darren’s penchant for causing death.

This is also when the pack splits up, with Darren going off on a cruise with his new wife and Libby taking the pup back to Arkansas.

I could tell how sad the family was to go their separate ways, but what was equally shocking to me, was the fact that I, too, was morose. I had been following this family for years, with the sole purpose of exposing them to the world but unbeknownst to me, I had begun to sympathize with the wolves.

We were soon back in Arkansas, where it all began for us. I keep calling the boy a pup, but the truth is he hasn’t been a pup in a while. I’ve watched him slowly grow before my eyes over these years. I watched him scribble in the notebook he carried everyone he went, just as I did with mine. I hate to admit it, but I began to feel a kind of kinship with him. And that is what made me hate werewolves all the more. I wasted years of my life, following, studying, writing, and trying to prove my theory and yet I also feel as though I understand this pack of werewolves- this family.

The pup finally transformed into a werewolf and it was as though it triggered a transformation in myself as well. I finally decided to move on with my life and choose a new mission.

Yes, werewolves are real.

But this pack will continue to remain anonymous.

I'm beginning to realize that werewolves, like humans, are far from perfect, but they are not evil. Which is why I can't, in good conscious, submit a family to deal with the repercussions of an entire species.

This might not be the outcome you were looking for, but I hope you understand.

-Mr. Jones