PERSONNEL FILE

Vienna's journal entries

(OOC)

"My memory keeps getting worse... Thank God."

Out.

"I am out of the hospital, and out of 24/7 care.

I was told I'll be working for a task force soon. I only need a few weeks of training and debriefs of my work load.  So much of my time to start as a simple private.

My left eye still hurts, it hurts so bad I can barely keep it open for more than a few minutes. It feels like the bright neon lights follow me everywhere now, taunting me.

They said I will be fine.

They said, and will say, many things.

Yet none of them have uttered a word about him. Neither have I.

I no longer deserve to say his name.

I can only pray.

The site

It seems these creatures have been living along side us for years on end. Most of them have labels, a number, and a warning of how your mortal years can be cut short within minutes.

These creatures are disgusting, utter rejects of nature that plague our lives.

Whatever I do, whatever they do, will never lead to an end for those beings. 

We're not making a better world.

We're sustaining an unfixable one.

 Those things will never belong, and I'd rather play a fool's game than ever accept they have a space in our reality.

Cafeteria

The cafeteria recently started carrying grape juice. It's sweet and tangy, a little bit sour too.

Bittersweet.

It's Christmas season. Site Command put up a tree somewhere, apparently. Haven't seen it myself. 

I only hear these things from passing conversations.

My father called, or at least he tried to. Nurse ended up talking for him.

I can only pray.

Pray.

Home

Torva looks exactly the same as I remember. It's colder than Colorado in the winter.

The old ladies around tried to talk to me, but I never learned the language. I don't have anything to offer.

Roads are unkept.

My father resembles an old hound more than the soldier I once knew. He pointed out my "new" gray eye, as if his own gaze isn't covered in mist.

Vienna, Virve, Virve—  That's all he could repeat. Dementia isn't to blame for it, though.

I doubt he ever had anything to say about me without bringing her up.

Nurses treat him like a newborn.

Had a vastlakukkel before heading back home.

Well?

Some person from another site passed away. Nothing out of the ordinary, but I've heard their site is more active than ours. It's insensitive to take their spot so soon, but time awaits no one.

More plagues terrorizing humanity? I'd like to assist with that.

I've gotten used to my work by now, and I hate it. 

If I don't have anything to do, I'm as good as that dead person.

I can't allow myself to simply 'be'.

Alaska is a big change.

I miss Colorado already.

Polar Bear

Mountains covered with snow surround this site. There's a beach, a lighthouse, and a small town nearby.

Personnel don't seem to be fond of me. Grieving, still? 

Miss XO introduced herself to me. One of the few who didn't take offense to my arrival, at least until I truly spoke with her.

She said people here work different, that they're more attached to each other. 

Create bonds to make life a little bit easier to endure. What a joke.

My body is a vessel for the soul which will carry to the God above. 

I don't carry companionship, nor emotion for my kin.

It's our duty...

It's my duty, Vienna.

Give it up

Radiation is abundant around here.

I thought it was over. They said I was better, that whatever cough I had wouldn't be anything but a small nuisance.

My supply of medicine is running low. It was meant to end back in that damned hospital.

Did the pills go bad? 

Have I gone bad?

Having to replace the tissue box in the officer bunks so frequently is already embarrassing enough, but I can't even control my own blood anymore.

When have I ever?

It hurts to breath.

It hurts even more thinking of that old hound.

I'll end up like him if I don't die soon.

Dates

Autumn is my favorite time of a year.

Harvesting time for grapes.

Decaying yellow leaves that remind me of your hair.

It was a cold morning despite the rays of sun peeking through the mountains. 

You told me of a place that sold fresh grape juice, and how much the tangy flavor reminded you of me. Whatever that implied, I never questioned it.

No responsibilities for the day meant we could make our own way to the vineyard, use our legs to walk instead of running for cover.

The rustle of wind mixed around with your holy words. As always, you found a way to speak of what makes you passionate.

We were different, in different ways.

I never needed a God to march forward. You were my own deity to hope for.

The grapes were ripe.

Squish them too hard and they might die.

That's the only way to get a tangy glass of juice.

I woke up with a new set of lungs.

Virkelighed

Reality grounds me once again.

Reality proves how weak my flesh is once again.

I am nothing once again.

I am Virkelighed.

You lied.