Comprehensive sex education, which is queer-inclusive, is the need of the hour in India to spread awareness / Photograph by Anukriti Chaturvedi

Changing the paradigm: Linking sex education with pleasure

According to a recent study, sex education is more effective in preventing unwanted pregnancies when it is taught by focusing on pleasure instead of abstinence. It also contributes to overall sexual health and mental well-being. With a population of 1.39 billion, sex education is the need of the hour.

A casual search for parts of a flower for a project led me, a child of about 11, to one of the darkest recesses of the internet — a porn website. This resulted in the famous birds and the bees talk with my mother. She downloaded the ‘Red Book’ and the ‘Blue Book’ from TARSHI’s (Talking About Reproductive and Sexual Health), an NGO promoting sexual education, website. With the help of diagrams and the text accompanying it, it broke down sexuality, bodily changes one experiences at the onset of puberty, penetrative and oral sex, contraception, homosexuality, masturbation, sexual abuse, and sexually transmitted diseases in a sensitive and easy-to-understand manner. It also included a note on how adults can approach this topic to impart the knowledge to youngsters.

In a country, which gave us Kama Sutra, sex is still seen as a taboo subject in India, often neglected as part of the school curriculum. It should be treated as an intrinsic part of the syllabus, so children don’t get half-baked knowledge from the internet, primarily through porn or discussions with an ill-informed peer group. It is often looked at from a male gaze, giving rise to unrealistic sexual expectations, body dysmorphia, a mental illness leading people to hyper-fixate on a perceived flaw in their appearance, and even the development of addiction to porn. According to Pornhub, at the onset of the Covid-19 induced lockdown, Indian users ranked the highest in consuming porn.

What is Sex Ed?

Essentially, sex education refers to teachings about sex and sexuality. It focuses on awareness regarding sexual health and the importance of consent and contraception, equipping people to make the best decisions regarding their relationships and emotional and physical well-being.

A recent study published in PLOS One, a peer-reviewed open access scientific journal, found that focusing on sexual pleasure, instead of just the risk of diseases, can improve our attitude towards sex and result in safer sex practices, including using contraception. Pleasure is an aspect of sex that is seldom talked about, especially when it comes to women.

Dr. Lianne Gonsalves at the World Health Organization observed that sexual education has traditionally promoted safer sex practices, focusing on risk reduction and preventing diseases. According to Gonsalves, it should also consider how safer sex practices can promote consent, pleasure, intimacy, and the overall well-being of all the parties involved.

Often swept under the rug in schools, this subject was dealt with a certain trepidation from the teacher’s side and met by giggles from the children. I remember once, during such a session, the boys were sent out to play in the field. Meanwhile, the girls were imparted certain sexist ideas, including looking at the length of their skirts to not excite the boys.

Related link: Redefining sexual health for benefits throughout life

Sex Educators

There has been a recent boom of online sex educators in India. Internet figures, including Leeza Mangaldas and Seema Anand, answer questions related to safe sex practices and the anxiety accompanying them. They also talk about body changes that some might consider abnormal, busting myths surrounding sex, reproductive issues faced by men and women, etc. They convey it through a visual medium that is not vulgar and is easy to understand, and at times quite hilarious.

Hookup Culture

With the increase in dating applications, sex is right at your fingertips. Apart from the physical and sexual wellness standpoint, one needs to understand the emotional consequences of partaking in sexual activities.

With a sexually repressed population in India, there is a deficit of knowledge but a surplus of curious minds. The stigma attached to sexual gratification leads to people exploring other ways. This leads to sexual abuse, often not realizing, including rape, stealthing, which refers to the removal of a condom mid-sex without the knowledge of your partner, etc. This can lead to sexually transmitted diseases and emotional trauma.

Comprehensive sex education, which is queer-inclusive, is the need of the hour in India to spread awareness. This will even help avoid incidents like the ‘Bois Locker Room’ by dismantling misogyny and inculcating empathy. It will also provide an all-encompassing knowledge to quench the thirst of curious minds, enabling them to practice safe sex practices and explore their bodies better.