Dear me in the past,

I used to be brave, strong and loyal. I believed in everything that was real. But everything that was real hardly changed. Now I'm mad at everyone and everything. I believed in everything that was real and that was an extreme of reality. I used to be very loyal to my people. But loyalty has become a bitter frown. Now loyalty only makes me frown. So what's the point of keeping up the same way? Tell me, what's the point of keeping up the same way?

It hurts me.

It hurts me the most when I am not myself. I cannot bear to be alone. I want my old self back. I want my family back. But my new self will not let me be with my old self. There are no ways that I can ever turn back to the original me.

When I am alone, I am always thinking...

I am thinking about how I am doing now.

I am thinking about what I am doing now.

I am thinking about what I should have been doing now.

I am thinking about how everyone else is doing now.

I am thinking about where everyone else is now.

I am thinking that I can never go back anymore.

What am I?

I do not know that anymore. But I was a tree.

I was an ordinary tree and I once lived happily in the woods with my family and friends.

My family used to always tell me stories about the lovely and mighty humans. My life goal was to become the strongest tree in the forest and protect humans.

One day, I woke up to loud noises and when I realized, most of my friends were gone. Mother held my roots and told me to take care of myself before she was taken away. It was humans! Humans were chopping everyone up and down. They never think about how we feel. I felt betrayed. Were all the stories a lie?

I was brought somewhere else where they cut me up into different pieces and chunks. What were they trying to do with me? I had no idea. All different parts of me were packed separately and shipped and chopped and shipped and chopped and shipped.

I lost all my leaves.

I lost all my flowers.

I lost all my roots.

I lost all my family.

I lost all my friends.

I lost myself.

I have a new name now. I think they call me Table.