Short Stories 2020-2021

Natalia Payne - That's my mother and she's Bipolar

Ebony F. Williams is funny, honest, loving, kind, intelligent, helpful, driven, articulate, and sensitive. She is a daughter, sister, cousin, aunt, friend, and niece. She has Bipolar Disorder II, High Anxiety, OCD and Paranoia. She is also my mother!

What is Bipolar Disorder? Bipolar Disorder is a disorder associated with episodes of mood swings ranging from depressive low to manic highs. The exact cause of Bipolar Disorder is not known, but a combination of genetics, environment, and altered brain structure may play a role. It is quite common, there are more than 3 million US cases per year. Treatment can help but it is not curable. It is a chronic disease that can last years, or a lifetime and it does require a medical diagnosis.

Growing up it has primarily been my mom and me. We always have a ball! We shop and play and did all the things that everyone else did. Around age 3 my mom became extremely sad and agitated. She still tried to be everything that she was, but she was beginning a downward spiral. She became irritable and less fun. She knew there was a problem though, so she sought help. I remember her being off work for a little while. We still tried to have fun, but mom was just not having fun.

Increasingly it got worse for mom. By the time I was in 5th grade mom had had two breakdowns, the last one landing her in the hospital for treatment. I remember her dropping me off to school like normal, but my grandmother came to pick me up. I spoke to my mom. She said she was ok and that she would be in the hospital for a while and that I could not come visit. I was sad because we always spent our time together. I convinced my grandmother to take me to the hospital, my mom needed her stuff, clothes, socks, personal hygiene items, and I had to take it to her. I visited mom everyday and had dinner with her. I did not know at the time, but since I have gotten older my mom explained that at that time, she was suicidal and that by driving by the lake every day (we live near Belleville Lake) made her want to jump in, and that was why she was in the hospital.

She looked different, like sad and far away. I did not want her to stay at the hospital, but I wanted her to get better, so I knew she had to stay. She began therapy and taking medication. Some of the medications made her like a zombie. This was not my mother. Finally, she had progressed enough that they had let her come home and continue treatment from home. Over the next few weeks mom would take several different cocktails of medication before they would find the perfect combination for her. When they did my mom was back! I was excited because it was extremely hard to not have my mom in the way that I was used to her being.

So now we had a new normal. Mom had medications that she needed to take and sometimes would forget. I could tell that she had not taken them so I would remind her to take them. Gradually though, mom got better, or some semblance of better. This took some time though, like some years. She still has down times, but overall, she is much better than she was.

Today my mother speaks candidly about her illness. She explains to people what it truly means to be bipolar. She also advocates for better health care options for the under privileged and encourages people to seek treatment and therapy. Ebony F. Williams is my mother, she has Bipolar Disorder II, she is just like everybody else, and I love her!

Caroline Thomas - My experience with Mental Health

I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) when I started therapy in 5th grade. I have always lived with anxiety, but having been given a true label for how I was feeling helped me to understand myself a lot better. Everything that I had been feeling and experiencing- an upset stomach, constantly overthinking everything, irrational fears, a racing heart, and so many others- were finally explained. It took me a long time to get better, though, and to learn how to control my anxiety. Mental health journeys are different for everyone, and it can take a lot of time to get better and begin to improve. If I hadn’t gotten help and gone to therapy I would not be the person that I am today and I would definitely be in a much worse place. It was very hard at first to be honest about how I was feeling and to open up about my anxiety, but once I did I began to improve so much and was happier overall. Getting help looks different for everyone, and as long as it is a healthy coping mechanism that ultimately makes you feel better and helps your mental health improve it is going to be worth it.