45. Treat all thy friends and relatives, even strangers, with a spirit of utmost love and kindliness.
‘Abdu’l-Bahá, in Family Life 18
46. When you love a member of your family or a compatriot, let it be with a ray of the Infinite Love! Let it be in God, and for God! Wherever you find the attributes of God love that person, whether he be of your family or of another.
‘Abdu’l-Bahá, in Paris Talks 38
47. If love and agreement are manifest in a single family, that family will advance, become illumined and spiritual; but if enmity and hatred exist within it, destruction and dispersion are inevitable.
‘Abdu’l-Bahá, The Promulgation of Universal Peace 144–45
48. Note ye how easily, where unity existeth in a given family, the affairs of that family are conducted; what progress the members of that family make, how they prosper in the world. Their concerns are in order, they enjoy comfort and tranquillity, they are secure, their position is assured, they come to be envied by all. Such a family but addeth to its stature and its lasting honor, as day succeedeth day.
‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Selections from the Writings of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá 279
49. It is one of the essential teachings of the Faith that unity should be maintained in the home. Of course this does not mean that any member of the family has a right to influence the faith of any other member; and if this is realized by all the members, then it seems certain that unity would be feasible.
On behalf of Shoghi Effendi, letter dated 7/6/52 to an individual believer, in Family Life 49
50. It made him very happy to know of the recent confirmation of your … friend, and of her earnest desire to serve and promote the Faith. He will certainly pray on her behalf that she may, notwithstanding the opposition of her parents and relatives, increasingly gain in knowledge and in understanding of the Teachings, and become animated with such a zeal as to arise, and bring into the Cause a large number of her former coreligionists.
Under no circumstances, however, should she allow her parents to become completely alienated from her, but it is her bounden duty to strive, through patient, continued and loving effort, to win their sympathy for the Faith, and even, perhaps, to bring about their confirmation ….
On behalf of Shoghi Effendi, letter dated 7/6/38 to an individual believer, in Family Life 36
51. She should certainly not grieve if she finds that her family are not receptive to the teachings—for not every soul is spiritually enlightened. Indeed, many members of the families of the Prophets themselves have remained unconverted even in face of the example and persuasion of the Manifestation of God; therefore, the friends should not be distressed by such things but rather leave the future of those they love in the hand of God, and by their services and devotion to the Faith, win the right to plead for their ultimate spiritual rebirth.
On behalf of Shoghi Effendi, letter dated 3/9/42 to an individual believer, in Family Life 41
52. Deep as are family ties, we must always remember that the spiritual ties are far deeper; they are everlasting and survive death, whereas physical ties, unless supported by spiritual bonds, are confined to this life. You should do all in your power, through prayer and example, to open the eyes of your family to the Bahá’í Faith, but do not grieve too much over their actions.
On behalf of Shoghi Effendi, letter to Roan Orloff (received 7/31/42), in Bahá’í News, no. 161 (Mar. 1943) 2
53. The Great Being saith: The heaven of divine wisdom is illumined with the two luminaries of consultation and compassion. Take ye counsel together in all matters, inasmuch as consultation is the lamp of guidance which leadeth the way, and is the bestower of understanding.
Bahá’u’lláh, in Consultation 3
54. Man must consult on all matters, whether major or minor, so that he may become cognizant of what is good. Consultation giveth him insight into things and enableth him to delve into questions which are unknown. The light of truth shineth from the faces of those who engage in consultation. Such consultation causeth the living waters to flow in the meadows of man’s reality, the rays of ancient glory to shine upon him, and the tree of his being to be adorned with wondrous fruit. The members who are consulting, however, should behave in the utmost love, harmony and sincerity towards each other. The principle of consultation is one of the most fundamental elements of the divine edifice. Even in their ordinary affairs the individual members of society should consult.
‘Abdu’l-Bahá, in Consultation 8
55. Settle all things, both great and small, by consultation. Without prior consultation, take no important step in your own personal affairs. Concern yourselves with one another. Help along one another’s projects and plans. Grieve over one another. Let none in the whole country go in need. Befriend one another until ye become as a single body, one and all ….
‘Abdu’l-Bahá, in Consultation 9
56. A Bahá’í who has a problem may wish to make his own decision upon it after prayer and after weighing all the aspects of it in his own mind; he may prefer to seek the counsel of individual friends or of professional counselors such as his doctor or lawyer so that he can consider such advice when making his decision; or in a case where several people are involved, such as a family situation, he may want to gather together those who are affected so that they may arrive at a collective decision.
The Universal House of Justice, letter dated 3/19/73 to the National Spiritual Assembly of the Bahá’ís of Canada, in Family Life 59
57. Bahá’u’lláh came to bring unity to the world, and a fundamental unity is that of the family. Therefore, one must believe that the Faith is intended to strengthen the family, not weaken it, and one of the keys to the strengthening of unity is loving consultation. The atmosphere within a Bahá’í family as within the community as a whole should express “the keynote of the Cause of God” which, the beloved Guardian has stated, “is not dictatorial authority but humble fellowship, not arbitrary power, but the spirit of frank and loving consultation.”
The Universal House of Justice, letter dated 12/28/80 to the National Spiritual Assembly of the Bahá’ís of New Zealand, in Family Life 61–62
58. O friends! Be not careless of the virtues with which ye have been endowed, neither be neglectful of your high destiny. Suffer not your labors to be wasted through the vain imaginations which certain hearts have devised. Ye are the stars of the heaven of understanding, the breeze that stirreth at the break of day, the soft-flowing waters upon which must depend the very life of all men, the letters inscribed upon His sacred scroll.
Bahá’u’lláh, Gleanings from the Writings of Bahá’u’lláh 196
59. And if he met the fairest and most comely of women, he would not feel his heart seduced by the least shadow of desire for her beauty. Such an one, indeed, is the creation of spotless chastity. Thus instructeth you the Pen of the Ancient of Days, as bidden by your Lord, the Almighty, the All-Bountiful.
Bahá’u’lláh, Gleanings from the Writings of Bahá’u’lláh 118
60. … a chaste and holy life, with its implications of modesty, purity, temperance, decency, and clean-mindedness, involves no less than the exercise of moderation in all that pertains to dress, language, amusements, and all artistic and literary avocations. It demands daily vigilance in the control of one’s carnal desires and corrupt inclinations. It calls for the abandonment of a frivolous conduct, with its excessive attachment to trivial and often misdirected pleasures. It requires total abstinence from all alcoholic drinks, from opium, and from similar habit- forming drugs. It condemns the prostitution of art and of literature, the practices of nudism and of companionate marriage, infidelity in marital relationships, and all manner of promiscuity, of easy familiarity, and of sexual vices. It can tolerate no compromise with the theories, the standards, the habits, and the excesses of a decadent age. Nay rather it seeks to demonstrate, through the dynamic force of its example, the pernicious character of such theories, the falsity of such standards, the hollowness of such claims, the perversity of such habits, and the sacrilegious character of such excesses.
Shoghi Effendi, The Advent of Divine Justice 30
61. It must be remembered, however, that the maintenance of such a high standard of moral conduct is not to be associated or confused with any form of asceticism, or of excessive and bigoted puritanism. The standard inculcated by Bahá’u’lláh seeks, under no circumstances, to deny anyone the legitimate right and privilege to derive the fullest advantage and benefit from the manifold joys, beauties, and pleasures with which the world has been so plentifully enriched by an All-Loving Creator.
Shoghi Effendi, The Advent of Divine Justice 33
62. Briefly stated the Bahá’í conception of sex is based on the belief that chastity should be strictly practiced by both sexes, not only because it is in itself highly commendable ethically, but also due to its being the only way to a happy and successful marital life. Sex relationships of any form, outside marriage, are not permissible therefore, and whoso violates this rule will not only be responsible to God, but will incur the necessary punishment from society.
The Bahá’í Faith recognizes the value of the sex impulse, but condemns its illegitimate and improper expression such as free love, companionate marriage and others, all of which it considers positively harmful to man and to the society in which he lives. The proper use of the sex instinct is the natural right of every individual, and it is precisely for this very purpose that the institution of marriage has been established. The Bahá’ís do not believe in the suppression of the sex impulse but in its regulation and control.
On behalf of Shoghi Effendi, letter dated 9/5/38 to an individual believer, qtd. in letter from the Universal House of Justice to individual believer, in “Obeying the Law of God in Our Own Lives” 2
63. Ye are forbidden adultery, homosexuality and unfaithfulness. Refrain therefrom, O concourse of those who have set their faces towards Him. By the righteousness of God!
Ye have been created to purge the world from the defilement of evil passions. This is what the Lord of all mankind enjoineth upon you, could ye but perceive it. He who relateth himself unto the All-Merciful and committeth satanic deeds, verily he is not of Me. Unto this beareth witness every atom, pebble, tree and fruit, and beyond them this eloquent, truthful and trustworthy Tongue.
Bahá’u’lláh, qtd. in letter dated 12/9/71 from the Universal House of Justice to the National Spiritual Assembly of the Bahá’ís of the United States, in “Extracts from the Bahá’í Writings on Homosexuality” 1
64. The question you raise as to the place in one’s life that a deep bond of love with someone we meet other than our husband or wife can have is easily defined in view of the teachings. Chastity implies both before and after marriage an unsullied, chaste sex life. Before marriage absolutely chaste, after marriage absolutely faithful to one’s chosen companion. Faithful in all sexual acts, faithful in word and in deed.
On behalf of Shoghi Effendi, letter dated 9/28/41 to an individual believer, qtd. in letter from the Universal House of Justice to individual believer, in “Obeying the Law of God in Our Own Lives” 2
65. What Bahá’u’lláh means by chastity certainly does not include the kissing that goes on in modern society. It is detrimental to the morals of young people, and often leads them to go too far, or arouses appetites which they cannot perhaps at the time satisfy legitimately through marriage, and the suppression of which is a strain on them.
The Bahá’í standard is very high, more particularly when compared with the thoroughly rotten morals of the present world. But this standard of ours will produce health- ier, happier, nobler people, and induce stabler marriages.
Shoghi Effendi, letter dated 10/19/47 to John Bernard Cornel, in Bahá’í News, no. 202 (Dec. 1947) 3
66. In the teachings there is nothing against dancing, but the friends should remember that the standard of Bahá’u’lláh is modesty and chastity. The atmosphere of modern dance halls, where so much smoking and drinking and promiscuity goes on, is very bad, but decent dances are not harmful in themselves. There is certainly no harm in classical dancing or learning dancing in school. There is also no harm in taking part in dramas. Likewise in cinema acting. The harmful thing, nowadays, is not the art itself but the unfortunate corruption which often surrounds these arts. As Bahá’ís we need avoid none of the arts, but acts and the atmosphere that sometimes go with these professions we should avoid.
On behalf of Shoghi Effendi, letter to the National Spiritual Assembly of the Bahá’ís of India, in Dawn of a New Day 153
67. In considering the effect of obedience to the laws on individual lives, one must remember that the purpose of this life is to prepare the soul for the next. Here one must learn to control and direct one’s animal impulses, not to be a slave to them. Life in this world is a succession of tests and achievements, of falling short and of making new spiritual advances. Sometimes the course may seem very hard, but one can witness, again and again, that the soul who steadfastly obeys the law of Bahá’u’lláh, however hard it may seem, grows spiritually, while the one who compromises with the law for the sake of his own apparent happiness is seen to have been following a chimera: he does not attain the happiness he sought, he retards his spiritual advance and often brings new problems upon himself.
The Universal House of Justice, letter dated 2/6/73 to all National Spiritual Assemblies, in The Generation of the Half-Light 34
68. The Guardian has urged over and over again, the paramount necessity for Bahá’í Youth to exemplify the Teachings, most particularly the moral aspect of them. If they are not distinguished for their high conduct they cannot expect other young people to take the Cause very seriously.
He heartily agrees with you that unless we practise the Teachings we cannot possibly expect the Faith to grow, because the fundamental purpose of all religions—including our own—is to bring man nearer to God, and to change his character, which is of the utmost importance. Too much emphasis is often laid on the social and economic aspects of the Teachings; but the moral aspect cannot be over- emphasized.
On behalf of Shoghi Effendi, letter dated 9/6/46 to an individual believer, in Bahá’í Youth 8
69. He feels that the youth, in particular, must constantly and determinedly strive to exemplify a Bahá’í life. In the world around us we see moral decay, promiscuity, indecency, vulgarity, bad manners—the Bahá’í young people must be the opposite of these things, and, by their chastity, their uprightness, their decency, their consideration and good manners, attract others, old and young, to the Faith. The world is tired of words; it wants example, and it is up to the Bahá’í youth to furnish it.
On behalf of Shoghi Effendi, letter dated 9/19/46 to the Bahá’í youth attending Green Acre Bahá’í Summer School, U.S.A., in Bahá’í Youth 7–8
70. … the young Bahá’ís in every city should make a point of keeping in touch with local youth activities and clubs, and endeavoring to make their views known to as many young people in as many ways as possible. Above all they should set a high example to them; chastity, politeness, friendliness, hospitality, joyous optimism about the ultimate future happiness and well-being of mankind, should distinguish them and win over to them the love and admiration of their fellow youth. The thing which is most conspicuously lacking in modern life is a high standard of conduct and good character; the young Bahá’ís must demonstrate both, if they hope to seriously win over to the Faith members of their own generation, so sorely disillusioned and so contaminated by the laxity war gives rise to.
On behalf of Shoghi Effendi, letter dated 10/20/45 to a National Youth Committee, in Bahá’í Youth 7
71. We have considered your several letters and have noted your questions, and your view that many Bahá’í youth in America are confused, and are pleading for guidance in simple clear language on how to meet daily situations, particularly those involving sex.
It is neither possible nor desirable for the Universal House of Justice to set forth a set of rules covering every situation. Rather is it the task of the individual believer to determine, according to his own prayerful understanding of the Writings, precisely what his course of conduct should be in relation to situations which he encounters in his daily life. If he is to fulfill his true mission in life as a follower of the Blessed Perfection, he will pattern his life according to the Teachings. The believer cannot attain this objective merely by living according to a set of rigid regulations. When his life is oriented toward service to Bahá’u’lláh, and when every conscious act is performed within this frame of reference, he will not fail to achieve the true purpose of his life.
The Universal House of Justice, letter dated 10/17/68 to individual believer, qtd. in “Bahá’í Teachings on Chastity and Sex” 3
72. We have found in the Holy Writings no explicit references to masturbation, but there are a number of principles and teachings which can guide a Bahá’í to the correct attitude towards it. In a letter to an individual believer, written by the Guardian’s secretary on his behalf, it is pointed out that
The Bahá’í Faith recognizes the value of the sex impulse, but condemns its illegitimate and improper expressions such as free love, companionate marriage and others, all of which it considers positively harmful to man and to the society in which he lives. The proper use of the sex instinct is the natural right of every individual, and it is precisely for this very purpose that the institution of marriage has been established. The Bahá’ís do not believe in the suppression of the sex impulse but in its regulation and control.
In response to another letter enquiring if there were any legitimate way in which a person could express the sex instinct if, for some reason, he were unable to marry or if outer circumstances such as economic factors were to cause him to delay marriage, the Guardian’s secretary wrote on his behalf:
Concerning your question whether there are any legitimate forms of expression of the sex instinct outside of marriage: according to the Bahá’í Teachings no sexual act can be considered lawful unless performed between lawfully married persons. Outside of marital life there can be no lawful or healthy use of the sex impulse. The Bahá’í youth should, on the one hand, be taught the lesson of self-control which, when exercised, undoubtedly has a salutary effect on the development of character and of personality in general, and on the other should be advised, nay even encouraged, to contract marriage while still young and in full possession of their physical vigor. Economic factors, no doubt, are often a serious hindrance to early marriage but in most cases are only an excuse, and as such should not be over stressed.
In another letter on the Guardian’s behalf, also to an individual believer, the secretary writes:
Amongst the many other evils afflicting society in this spiritual low water mark in history, is the question of immorality, and overemphasis of sex ….
This indicates how the whole matter of sex and the problems related to it have assumed far too great an importance in the thinking of present-day society.
Masturbation is clearly not a proper use of the sex instinct, as this is understood in the Faith. Moreover it involves, as you have pointed out, mental fantasies, while
Bahá’u’lláh, in the Kitáb-i-Aqdas, has exhorted us not to indulge our passions and in one of His well-known Tablets ‘Abdu’l-Bahá encourages us to keep our “secret thoughts pure”. Of course many wayward thoughts come involuntarily to the mind and these are merely a result of weakness and are not blameworthy unless they become fixed or even worse, are expressed in improper acts. In “The Advent of Divine Justice”, when describing the moral standards that Bahá’ís must uphold both individually and in their community life, the Guardian wrote:
Such a chaste and holy life, with its implications of modesty, purity, temperance, decency, and clean-mindedness, involves no less than the exercise of moderation in all that pertains to dress, language, amusements, and all artistic and literary avocations. It demands daily vigilance in the control of one’s carnal desires and corrupt inclinations.
Your problem, therefore, is one against which you should continue to struggle, with determination and with the aid of prayer. You should remember, however, that it is only one of the many temptations and faults that a human being must strive to overcome during his lifetime, and you should not increase the difficulty you have by over- emphasizing its importance. We suggest you try to see it within the whole spectrum of the qualities that a Bahá’í must develop in his character. Be vigilant against temptation, but do not allow it to claim too great a share of your attention. You should concentrate, rather, on the virtues that you should develop, the services you should strive to render, and, above all, on God and His attributes, and devote your energies to living a full Bahá’í life in all its many aspects.
The Universal House of Justice, letter to an individual believer, copy of which was sent to Helen Hornby with letter dated 3/8/81, in Lights of Guidance 268–70
73. Amongst the many other evils afflicting society in this spiritual low-water mark in history, is the question of immorality, and over-emphasis of sex. Homosexuality, according to the Writings of Bahá’u’lláh, is spiritually condemned. This does not mean that people so afflicted must not be helped and advised and sympathized with. It does mean that we do not believe that it is a permissible way of life; which, alas, is all too often the accepted attitude nowadays.
We must struggle against the evils in society by spiritual means, and by medical and social ones as well. We must be tolerant and uncompromising, understanding but immovable in our point of view.
The thing people need to meet this type of trouble, as well as every other type, is greater spiritual understanding and stability; and of course we Bahá’ís believe that ultimately this can only be given to mankind through the Teachings of the Manifestation of God for this Day.
On behalf of Shoghi Effendi, letter dated 5/21/54 to an individual believer, in National Bahá’í Review (Mar. 1968) 2
74. No matter how devoted and fine the love may be between people of the same sex, to let it find expression in sexual acts is wrong. … Immorality of every sort is really forbidden by Bahá’u’lláh, and homosexual relationships He looks upon as such, besides being against nature.
To be afflicted in this way is a great burden to a conscientious soul.
But through the advice and help of doctors, through a strong and determined effort, and through prayer, a soul can overcome this handicap.
God judges each soul on its own merits. The Guardian cannot tell you what the attitude of God would be towards a person who lives a good life in most ways, but not in this way. All he can tell you is that it is forbidden by Bahá’u’lláh, and that one so afflicted should struggle and struggle again to overcome it. We must be hopeful of God’s mercy but not impose upon it.
On behalf of Shoghi Effendi, letter dated 3/26/50 to an individual believer, in National Bahá’í Review (Mar. 1968) 2
75. A number of sexual problems, such as homosexuality and transsexuality can well have medical aspects, and in such cases recourse should certainly be had to the best medical assistance. But it is clear from the teaching of Bahá’u’lláh that homosexuality is not a condition to which a person should be reconciled, but is a distortion of his or her nature which should be controlled and overcome. This may require a hard struggle, but so also can be the struggle of a heterosexual person to control his or her desires. The exercise of self-control in this, as in so very many other aspects of life, has a beneficial effect on the progress of the soul.
The Universal House of Justice, letter dated 2/6/73 to all National Spiritual Assemblies, in Messages from The Universal House of Justice 110–11
76. Regarding the question you asked him about one of the believers who seems to be flagrantly a homosexual, —although to a certain extent we must be forbearing in the matter of people’s moral conduct because of the terrible deterioration in society in general, this does not mean that we can put up indefinitely with conduct which is disgracing the Cause. This person should have it brought to his attention that such acts are condemned by Bahá’u’lláh, and that he must mend his ways, … which is corruptive for him and bad for the Cause. If after a period of probation you do not see an improvement, he should have his voting rights taken away.
On behalf of Shoghi Effendi, letter dated 6/20/53 to the National Spiritual Assembly of the Bahá’ís of Canada, in National Bahá’í Review (Mar. 1968) 2
77. As the friends can clearly note, Bahá’u’lláh denounces the person who engages in homosexual or other immoral relations with the censure: “Verily, he is not of Me”—a form of condemnation He applies to users of opium. In these days when in the United States an inherently deficient moral code tolerates and promotes indulgence in one’s passions and all manner of sexual vices, the Bahá’ís should refuse to be influenced by the perversity of their society and its corruption, and through determination, prayer and daily vigilance, as well as active and wholehearted participation in Bahá’í service, and when necessary, with the assistance of competent and expert advice, release themselves from the bondage of their carnal desires and take refuge under the shadow of God’s loving care and mercy.
The Universal House of Justice, letter dated 9/9/71 to the National Spiritual Assembly of the Bahá’ís of the United States, in “Extracts from the Bahá’í Writings on Homosexuality” 4