Ready for the grand unveiling? Here you go:
“Could you tell me more about that?”
“What I’m hearing is…”
“That must have been tough/interesting/exciting for you.”
“What do you think would be the best solution?”
“I appreciate you sharing this with me.”
Okay, okay, I know. These are not exactly zingers you’d drop to leave the room in awe. They’re more like something you’d find in a self-help book from the ’80s that your Aunt Marge is determined to lend you. But that’s where their magic lies. In their simplicity.
Let’s imagine our friend Bob who is having a difficult time at work. He vents to you about his tyrannical boss and the unreasonable workload. Instead of interrupting with your own experience or quick-fix solution, you say, “That must have been tough for you, Bob.”
By using that dull little phrase, you’ve shown Bob empathy. You’ve encouraged him to express his feelings more deeply, making him feel heard, understood, and less alone in his struggle. All hail the power of listening!