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Excerpt from "Mr. Chen Panling Memorial Collection" (陳泮嶺先生紀念集) , page 33
Please note: Extra words added to the posture description for clarity, as well as additional notes and comments, appear in [square brackets]. Text in (regular parentheses) is the author's text. Highlighted text indicates text where I am not confident in the translation.
十九 眼疾！眼疾
眼疾！眼疾！一場眼疾，給我的魔難，曾帶來了灰色的人生，陷入恐怖的境域，多感親友們的雲天厚誼，在我心裏生出了熱，發出了光，照耀著我，才從生死邊緣拯救出來。
卅三年秋，奉中央派為河南省黨部主任委員回豫主持工作。開封早已淪陷敵手，省黨部設在內鄉縣赤眉鎮上。當時國軍與日寇正在河南持續對抗中，率領同志，並號召國術界人士，組成地方民團，協助國軍，日夜不息。由於同志們的忠貞不二，及國術界的忠勇精神團結合作貢獻不少！
終因操勞過度，心力交瘁，日寇進攻豫西，使我在任務的崗位上，既緊張而又焦急，突然害上眼疾，難於視物，至內鄉城醫院治療。當此之時，局勢既甚嚴重，眼疾夂不克服務，於是急電省黨部委員兼書記長劉錫五同志及委員王芸青同志共商機宜，經決定即以劉錫五同志代理主任委員職務，一面並報請中央備核。在一天晚上，日軍猛烈的攻擊，已接近內鄉不遠，從砲聲隱隱漸至清晰可聞，無奈抱著眼疾，倉惶中即向西走，至接近陝西省的西坪鎮時，眼疾劇增，向西安急走，後至重慶，經一年餘，這靈魂之窗，始漸漸恢復，其中全賴人類的愛，朋友的溫情，從失望中將我救回，使我銘心永遠難忘！
19. Eye Disease! Eye Disease!
Eye disease! Eye disease! An eye disease was a terrible cross to bear, bringing about a gloomy time in my life. While I was caught up in a frightening situation, I felt the generous fellowship of friends and relatives, which warmed my heart and gave out a light that shone on me before I was rescued on the brink of life and death.
In the fall of the 33rd year of the Republic [~1944], I was sent back to take charge of the operations of the Henan [Nationalist] Party Committee. Kaifeng had already fallen into the hands of the enemy, and the provincial [Nationalist] Party headquarters was re-located in the town of Chimei in Neixiang County. At that time, the Nationalist Army and the Japanese aggressors were continually fighting in Henan Province. Leading fellow comrades, I called on people in the martial arts community to form local militia groups to assist the Nationalist Army around the clock. Thanks to the loyalty of our comrades, as well as the loyalty and courage of the martial arts community, they were able to work together in unity and contribute a lot!
In the end, due to overwork, exhaustion, and the Japanese attack on western Henan, I was nervous and anxious in my assignment. Suddenly, I started suffering from an eye disease, making it difficult for me to see, so I went to the hospital in Neixiang County for treatment. At this time, the state of affairs was extremely serious, and with this eye disease, I couldn’t be of use. Therefore, Liu Xiwu, who was a member and secretary of the Party Committee, sent an emergency telegram to fellow committee member Wang Yuqing to discuss what to do about the situation. After discussing the matter, they decided that Liu Xiwu would serve as acting chairman of the Committee, and they submitted the matter to the Central Committee for approval.
One night, the Japanese army attacked ferociously, not far from Neixiang County. The sound of gunfire was gradually becoming clearer and more audible. Helpless because of the eye disease, I nervously traveled westward until I approached Xiping in Shaanxi Province. At that time, with the eye disease dramatically increasing, I urgently pressed on towards Xi’an, until I arrived in the city of Chongqing. After more than a year, my “window to the soul” [i.e., eyes], began to gradually recover. All of this was due to the love of human beings and the warmth of friends. I was rescued from despair, and my heart will never forget!
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在砲火聲中，局勢非常緊張。內鄉縣政府及各政府機關，紛紛搬遷逃避，當時已經沒有車輛，即使搭上貨車，搖搖晃晃，對我這病人甚不相宜。正在張惶中幸得友人－當時省政府民政長楊一峯先生，將其小包車相讓。能夠從極紊亂中，抱著病，而又很安全的逃脫至西坪鎮能夠逃脫生命，不作敵軍階下囚；能夠使眼疾，不受劇變；全仗在這紊亂而又緊急中，楊一峯先生慨然讓車之隆情厚誼。
從西坪鎮到西安的公路，均是基土，且經過多處山嶺，如逢下雨，即使好汽車也不能行駛。在西坪鎮時雖已脫離敵人追襲的危險，但眼疾因得不到休養和治療，已經很嚴重，頭目昏眩疼痛，入夜不能安眠，假如老天不作美，又下起雨來，車不能行，不但眼疾更趨惡劣，若敵人追及，還不是束手成擒，這雙重都有關生命大危險，心中無限焦慮，那裡還能安枕？午夜默禱：「上帝保佑，明天不要下雨啊！」天公偏生就是這樣惡作劇，正值我禱告過後，在心中存著希冀－希冀衪明天不要下雨時，雨聲嘈嘈驟然傳入我的耳膜，這從空中灑下來的小水點，竟如鐵鎚般沉重，點點敲擊在我的心頭，無法形容我當時的焦急！
還好，天明雨止。仍然催車攢程，一天中尚稱順利，但中途落店時，兩眼卻更模糊幾乎不能視物。次日黃昏，車抵藍田，距離西安，尚約有百餘里，車燈不亮，司機說：「在黑暗中，汽車無法開行，危險太大」。但是我今夜若不能趕到西安，在中途再熬上一夜，眼必失明，還不是等如失去了生命，幾經催促，司機勉強開車行進，在那漫漫的黑夜裡，行駛土路多灣的危陰地區，真有如盲人瞎馬，隨時在和生命打賭。天幸！駛行十餘里，車燈放大光亮，吐出兩條白練，照耀通明，我和司機的心中，都同時像放下一塊大石，這樣汽車才能加速駛行，星夜趕到西安。
到西安直趨醫院，立刻打針服藥，內外兼施急救。友人聞訊，紛紛探問，至表關切，問醫生：「眼睛可以保險挽救否？」醫生告：「三日後才可決定」。經過三天，醫生告訴我「一隻眼睛可以保險，一隻眼尚難判斷！」我當時兩眼蒙蔽如盲人，心裡因戰事緊急，加上害眼疾，更形急萬分！那時卻虧有一位楊秘書，每天在我的病榻前讀三國，給我解悶，直至情緒鬆弛入睡為止，這是多麼純擎的友情！
當我在西安住院，朋友們都知道我平日經濟困難，紛紛解囊相贈，數目不詳，祇知道日後到重慶治眼又半年，勝利後家眷搬回開封，尚未用完，友情之可感如此。
在西安醫院，全院盡最大努力，一月過去，右眼視力稍微恢復，能夠寫字，而左眼角膜潰爛，結疤後僅僅透明，伸手可辨手指。來到重慶，一下飛機，便有人迎接，隨陪同先到全國最有名的林醫生處去檢查。據林醫生說：完全恢復，恐沒有希望。這使我感到大大的失望！
寓居在友人關佩恒家中，雖然朋友們給我的關切慰問，探病者盈門，終因我對眼疾認為無法痊可時，心中說不出的焦急，話懶說！飯懶吃！就好像等待末日的來臨。在患病中的關太太，已臥床旬餘，知道我來了，聽到我天天到晚呆呆地憂愁，不語不食，她竟忘記自己的病痛，陡然起身下樓來看我，給我許多安慰。她告訴我：她過去害眼疾失明三年，後來完全治好，對眼的治療方法與經驗，她可以大膽地給我保證。因為關太太現身說法，並有治癒多人的經驗，更由於她這種真誠，使我心中鬱悶大解，當日晚餐，開始啜了一碗麵。我她家中住一月餘，每天對於眼的調護及飲食照顧，均由她準備得十分週到，眼病大有轉機，關太太這種仁慈，這種恩惠，永難忘懷！
後來又轉到陸軍醫院，經眼科醫生檢查後稱：「眼力能恢復，但必須某一種藥物。這種藥物在全國祇有二百多少粒，很難得到！」既然有這種藥物可治，心中又多生出一分希望，經友人賴璉先生轉托陳果夫先生，由陳果夫先生面託衛生署署長金寶善先生，經半月之久，終將此種藥從貴陽運到，真不啻如獲至寶！醫生也都向我道賀，連稱不容易！難得！」當時同院有一病夫，患同樣眼疾，醫生問我，可否給予數粒？由我患病之痛苦經驗，推己及人慨然應允！我自從服用此藥後，眼力逐漸平復。
八月十一日，日本無條件向盟國投降之消息傳來，舉國狂歡！鞭炮之聲，不絕於耳，歡笑的喧騰，底徹達旦，每個人相逢時，都有一張歡樂的臉孔。我在醫院裡，得此喜訊，心中快慰，不可形容！但眼疾恢復更速，這一年餘，已不知經過多少苦難辛酸，又接受了多少友誼溫情！
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The situation was very tense amid the sound of [the approaching] gunfire. The government in Neixiang County and various governmental agencies had moved in order to escape [capture]. At the time, there were no vehicles available. Even if there was a truck, it would not be suitable for a hospital patient because of the rough ride. I was fortunate that I had a friend in this time of panic. Mr. Yang Yifeng, the provincial government’s civil administrator, let me use his small rented car. I was able to safely escape to Xiping without being captured in the midst of extreme chaos and while having the eye disease. I was able to guard against further deterioration in my eye disease, because in this chaotic and urgent situation, Mr. Yang Yifeng graciously lent me the car out of friendship.
The roads from Xiping to Xi’an were dirt roads, so you couldn’t pass through the mountains if it was raining, even if you had a good car. While I was in Xiping, although the danger of being attacked by the enemy had been removed, my eye disease had been severely affected by the lack of rest and treatment. My head was dizzy and painful, and I couldn’t sleep at night. If the sky was not clear and it rained again, then the car wouldn’t be able to go on. Not only would the eye disease get worse, but if the enemy catches up to us, my hands are tied and I would be captured. It was all about life and danger. Being anxious, how could I get rest? My silent midnight prayer was:
“God bless and protect us. Please don’t let it rain tomorrow!”
The Lord in Heaven is mischievous. Just after I prayed, there was hope in my heart that it would not rain the next day. Then, the sound of rain suddenly came to my ears. The small drops of water in the air sounded as heavy as hammers, with each one hitting at my heart. I can’t even describe my anxiety at that time!
Fortunately, it stopped raining in the morning. Continuing on with the journey by car, the day went smoothly. However, halfway after leaving the inn, my eyes blurred even more and it was almost impossible to see. The next day at dusk, the car arrived in Lantian, about a hundred miles from Xi’an. The car’s headlights were not very bright, and the driver said,
“The car can’t be driven in the dark. It is too dangerous.”
However, if I could not reach Xi’an that night, I would stay up all night on the way and lose my eyesight. I urged the driver to reluctantly travel through the night, through a dangerous area where there were many dirt roads. I really felt like a blind man on a blind horse who is gambling with his life. Thank God! After driving for ten more miles, the headlights of the car were amplified and two white beams were spit out. The lights were now shining brightly. To both my driver and I, it was like we were putting down a big stone at the same time [i.e., a heavy weight had been lifted]. So the car sped up in the starry night, and we hurried to Xi’an.
When we arrived in Xi’an, I hurried to the hospital, where I was immediately injected with medicine, receiving first aid both internally and externally. When friends heard of this, one after another, they inquired [about my status] and became deeply concerned. They asked the doctor,
“Can his eyes be saved or not?”
The doctor said,
“We will make that decision in three days.”
After three days, the doctor told me,
“One eye is safe. It is hard to judge about the other eye.”
At the time, my eyes had been blindfolded like a blind person, which made me even more anxious, adding to the anxiety about the war and the eye disease.
When I was hospitalized in Xi’an, my friends all knew that I was regularly in financial difficulty. I was given a lot of money, but I don’t know how much. I only know that after undergoing six months of eye treatments in Chongqing and moving my family back to Kaifeng after the victory [in the war], there was still money leftover [from their donations]. [To me, this showed the depth] of their feelings for our friendship.
While I was in the Xi’an hospital, the whole hospital did its best. After a month my right eye recovered slightly and I was able to write. However, the left cornea was ulcerated, and a scar formed that left it barely transparent, so that holding out my hand I could [barely] distinguish a finger. When I got off the plane in Chongqing, I was greeted by people who took me for an examination by the most famous doctor in China, Dr. Lin. According to what Dr. Lin said, he was afraid that there was no hope for a complete recovery. This made me feel greatly disappointed!
I stayed in the home of my friend, Guan Peiheng, where sympathetic friends showed their concern and the door was filled with visitors to see the patient. However, because I was thinking that I wouldn’t recover from my eye disease, my heart was unspeakably anxious. Sitting around talking! Sitting around eating rice! It was like waiting for the Judgment Day.
Mrs. Guan, who was ill, had been in bed for more than ten days. Knowing that I have come [to their house], she hears that I am worried each night and not eating. She forgets about her illness and suddenly gets up to come downstairs to see me. She gave me a lot of comfort. She told me that she used to have an eye disease and went blind for three years, but then afterwards, she was completely cured. From her experience and the treatment methods she had undergone, she boldly assured me [that I would recover]. Due to Mrs. Guan’s personal testimony and that in her telling me that many people were cured, and because of her sincerity, my depression lifted. That very same day at dinner, I began to eat a bowl of noodles.
I lived in her home for several months. Every day, she looked after preparing the eye treatments and dietary needs. She took care of me very well for ten weeks until the eye disease got much better. Mrs. Guan was a kind woman, and her graciousness will forever be unforgettable in my heart!
Later, I was transferred to the army hospital. After being examined by an ophthalmologist, he said,
“The eyes can recover, but you must use a certain kind of medicine. There are only 200 capsules of it in the entire country, so it is most difficult to obtain!”
Knowing that there was such a medicine to cure my eye disease, there was more hope in my heart. A friend of mine, Mr. Lia Lian, passed on a message to Mr. Chen Guofu. Then Mr. Chen Guofu explained the situation to Director of the Department of Health, Mr. Jin Baoshan. After a fortnight, the medicine finally arrived from the city of Guiyang. It really was like receiving a most precious treasure!
On August 11th, the news of Japan’s unconditional surrender to the Allied forces spread, and the entire country celebrated! The sound of firecrackers was heard all the time, as was the sound of laughter. When dawn broke, everyone who you met had a big smile on their face. I was in the hospital, and I was so happy to hear this good news. My heart was so relieved, it was indescribable! Also, the recovery from the eye disease became more rapid over the rest of the year. In the past year or so, I have gone through so much suffering and hardship, and I have received so much friendship and warmth!
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