This is a phrase I never thought I'd have a need to say... But it is the truth. I was just minding my own business in the kitchen having just finished a very delicious bowl of macaroni and cheese. I stood up from the table and had a very sudden, important urge to fart.
Now my roommate Meghan was right upstairs and I could tell this was gonna be a big one, so I wanted to make it silent (You know, the spreadage of the buttocks to silence the trumpet.).
....But that was not Gods plan for me.
Instead a diahhreal sludge graced my pants and I was shook to me core.
I did a sort of penguin run up the stairs, quickly grabbed a random assortment of clothes and waddle-ran to the bathroom.
Of course I had to pass Meghan on the way who was busy with the mirror. I took a second to come up with a strategy.
Fortunately she was pretty focused with the mirror and took no notice to me at all.