Clank…Clank…Clank…
He was there...
He’d found me…Clank
I screamed and screamed
I cried and cried
I couldn’t get air
Fear immobilized me
At the twilight edge of consciousness
My mind snaps awake
I’ve left the borders between sleep and wakefulness
It’s the path I was forced to take
I hear the noise from my thoughts before it pours
Mist falling from trembling rain
Holds me captive in the exact shade of his empty eyes
Craving fragments of my pain
A game I was forced to play together
A twisted picture from his mind
Carved onto me like scars I cannot cover
Something I want left behind
Somewhere out there in the darkness he is waiting
Where am I going to go
At the knife edge of fear, time is distorted
This pain I hate to know
A hole in my life that I tumble into
Every time I close my eyes
Over and over sharp, hard, fragments hold me
I’m tired of his lies
Cutting through the dark fog of my dreams
His twisted touch lingers forever
Seared in the inky corners of my memory
Pain held together
I never wanted to be captured in his space
He didn’t have to hurt me
Gaps of time fused together live
In my shattered psych
Those of us who survive, the walking dead
We wear no badge of pain
At the twilight edge of consciousness, we wear
wounded memories that stain
The pain exploding
My face burning, wet with blood
A tree trunk he was.
Dark force, sneak attack, emotional turmoil.
Hellish creature, another dimension, ruined.
Rabbit hole, twisted, hell-bent.
Scared, disgusted, uncomfortable.
Victim.
Loss.
INVISIBLE.
Void.
“C… a… n… ‘… t b… r… e… a… t… h… e…!”
Helpless.
“DON’T TOUCH ME!”
Screaming inside: “Why did this happen?”
Who am I now?
Dead?
Alive?
Or In-between?
“Did you like it?”
“NO!”
How can you ask me this, Paul?
“She’s just gonna have to get over it, man.”
Ugly.
Disrespect.
Loneliness.
Crying.
HELP!
Grieving.
Pain. Hurt.
Eternal “NIGHTMARE.”
“Terrified.”
Struggle.
Gloved hands.
COTTON