STRATEGIC TIPS FOR A SUCCESSFUL FIRST DATE

The good news is that, with the right strategy, you can avoid some of the more common pitfalls and anxieties. With Valentine’s Day almost upon us, we had some fun and applied the ERRC grid to first dates. Here’s what we came up.

1. Don’t overcomplicate things

The first date with someone you know little or nothing about is full of uncertainty. Don’t make things more complicated by trying to arrange the perfect romantic dinner, or planning a whole day out. Instead, keep things short and simple. A cup of coffee in a central location will make it clear fast if your date is someone you would like to spend more time with. And if things go well, the coffee could turn into a lunch or dinner, adding some spontaneity into the mix.

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2. Don’t stress unnecessarily

A bit of anxiety is natural on a first date – in fact, it’s half the fun. But you’ll want to eliminate the kind of stress that will make you flustered and your date uncomfortable. Remember, the more relaxed you feel, the more comfortable your date will be around you. One simple trick is to sit at a right angle to your date rather than face them directly. This takes the pressure off trying to fill every pause in the conversation, and you can both do a bit of people-watching instead.more...

3. Cut down the texting, and meet in person

The conversation might have started on an app or a website, but it shouldn’t stay there for too long. Texting can certainly give you a sense of another person, but to really get to know each other, you need more than messages on a screen: facial expressions, body language and tone of voice are just as important. So don’t waste time on a virtual relationship – go out there and meet the real person behind the words.more...

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4. Prepare some first date topics

You wouldn’t go for a job interview without preparing in advance, so why should a first date be any different? Think about the sort of questions you could ask, and some interesting answers to the questions that may come your way. Don’t treat the first date like an actual interview, though, or you’ll set alarm bells ringing. For some great first date topics and questions, see this article.

Another way to boost your confidence is to do a bit of ‘power posing’ in advance. This means standing for a few minutes in an assertive posture, hands on hips (think of a superhero), so as to trick the brain into feeling more confident. Just don’t do it on the date itself, or you’ll look ridiculous.

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