Today I want to talk about the Spoon Theory—a simple but powerful way to understand life with a chronic illness. It was created in 2003 by lupus blogger Christine Miserandino as she tried to explain to a friend what it truly felt like to live with lupus. The theory uses spoons as a metaphor for energy, helping us understand why every task, every plan, and every choice requires careful budgeting of the limited energy we have.
For someone without a health condition, energy often feels endless. In Spoon Theory terms, they have unlimited spoons, enough to fuel all their mental, emotional, and physical tasks without thinking twice. But for someone living with an autoimmune condition, the day begins differently. You wake up with a fixed number of spoons. Maybe you have 20 spoons that morning. Every activity uses up one or more spoons, so you have to choose carefully what you can manage and what you need to let go.
Getting ready for school or work might take one spoon, and making breakfast takes another. If you’re on medication, especially prednisone, eating isn’t optional; you MUST eat or your body and emotions will feel completely out of balance. That’s the reality of spoon management: planning your day around your limited energy and protecting the little strength you have.
So now you have 18 spoons left. You still need to get to work or school. If you’re using a matatu or bus, that might cost around two spoons, walking to the stage, standing in line, dealing with the crowds and noise. That’s why taxis or private transport often feel more manageable for someone with an autoimmune condition.
Once you get to work or school, you have tasks waiting for you. Let’s say you’ll need around seven spoons to get through the day’s responsibilities. That leaves you with 11 spoons. Meanwhile, a healthy person still has their endless supply, no need to calculate or budget.
With 11 spoons left, you still have to think about the rest of your day. You need enough energy to get home, prepare supper, maybe study, clean, or even squeeze in a workout if your body allows it. You might have planned to go out later, but now you’re drained. Cancelling is another spoon. Sigh. Those remaining spoons have to stretch all the way to bedtime, so you start cancelling plans, not because you don’t want to go, but because you simply can’t.
Living with an autoimmune condition means every bit of energy counts. After a long day at work or school, going out for cocktails or pizza isn’t always an option we need to recharge. And we can’t borrow spoons from tomorrow; push too hard today, and tomorrow we might not even make it out of bed.
Another thing: Warriors also have to be careful about when and how they engage with other people’s emotional issues. Our own lives are full of challenges, and on top of the pain, we have to come to terms with not being able to do as much as we could when we were healthy.
Living with an autoimmune condition isn’t easy. The random symptoms, the unexplainable pain—it can feel overwhelming. Painkillers, rest, and extra sleep become part of life. But over time, I’ve learned that a good diet and gentle exercise can make a real difference. Step by step, strength returns, and you can reclaim a sense of normalcy. It’s not always quick, but slowly, bit by bit, you get your life, and your power back.