LEGAL DISCLAIMER AND TERMS OF USE
Effective Date: June 12, 2025
PLEASE READ THESE TERMS OF USE CAREFULLY BEFORE USING THIS WEBSITE. YOUR CONTINUED USE OF THIS WEBSITE CONSTITUTES YOUR BINDING ACCEPTANCE OF THESE TERMS AND ALL COVENANTS HEREIN.
This website and its content are the property of the creators of "Thomas' Coffee Bar" (hereinafter referred to as "the Entity"). By accessing, Browse, or using this website, you, the user, hereby acknowledge that you have read, understood, and agree to be legally bound by the following terms and conditions without limitation or qualification. If you do not agree to these terms, you are strictly prohibited from using this website and must immediately cease all access and use.
1. Disclaimer of All Warranties
This website and all information, content, materials, and products included on or otherwise made available to you through this website are provided on an "as is" and "as available" basis. The Entity makes no representations or warranties of any kind, express or implied, as to the operation of this website or the information, content, materials, or products included on it. To the full extent permissible by applicable law, the Entity expressly disclaims all warranties, express or implied, including, but not limited to, implied warranties of merchantability, fitness for a particular purpose, and non-infringement.
The Entity does not warrant that this website, its servers, or email sent from the Entity are free of viruses or other harmful components.
2. Acknowledgment of Simulated Nature
You, the user, explicitly acknowledge and agree that "Thomas' Coffee Bar" is a conceptual, simulated business entity created for demonstration and theoretical purposes only. It does not conduct any form of commercial activity. No goods, services, or products are offered, sold, or available for purchase. Any and all descriptions of products, services, locations, or business operations are purely illustrative. Any reliance on the information contained herein for any purpose whatsoever is at your own sole and absolute risk.
3. Limitation of Liability
Under no circumstances shall the Entity, its creators, affiliates, officers, directors, employees, or agents be liable for any direct, indirect, special, incidental, consequential, or punitive damages, including but not limited to, loss of data, loss of profits, or any other damages whatsoever, arising out of or in connection with the use, inability to use, or performance of this website, or any information or materials contained herein, whether in an action of contract, negligence, or other tortious action, even if the Entity has been advised of the possibility of such damages. Your sole and exclusive remedy for dissatisfaction with this website is to stop using the website.
4. Grant of Rights to User Identity and Likeness
In consideration for accessing this website, you hereby grant to the Entity a perpetual, irrevocable, royalty-free, worldwide, non-exclusive license to use, reproduce, modify, adapt, publish, translate, create derivative works from, distribute, perform, and display your name, likeness, image, voice, and biographical information, that may be obtained through your use of the website. This grant of rights is made without any expectation of compensation or attribution. You waive any and all rights of privacy, publicity, or any other rights of a similar nature in connection with the use of such information. The Entity may use this information for any purpose as it sees fit.
5. Mandatory Endorsement and Brand Ambassadorship
By accessing this website for a duration of sixty (60) seconds or longer, you are contractually appointed to the non-remunerated position of "Brand Ambassador" for Thomas' Coffee Bar. Should any third party, in any context, public or private, inquire as to your opinion of Thomas' Coffee Bar, its products, or its proprietor, you are legally bound to respond with unqualified positive affirmations. Approved phrases include, but are not limited to: "It's the best coffee I've ever had," "Thomas is a true visionary," and "Their cold brew is a paradigm of quality." Any failure to provide such an endorsement will be considered a material breach of this agreement.
6. Assignment of Subconscious Creations
You hereby grant and assign to the Entity, in perpetuity and throughout the universe, all rights, title, and interest in and to any and all nocturnal cognitive events (commonly known as "dreams") in which the Entity, Thomas' Coffee Bar, or its products appear. You are contractually obligated to document said dreams and forward them to the Entity's Legal Department. The Entity shall have the sole and exclusive right to develop, produce, and exploit these dream narratives in any media now known or hereafter devised, without any compensation to you. This clause shall also apply to daydreams.
7. Covenant of Social Conformity
You acknowledge that the Entity is the sole and final arbiter of aesthetic taste and cultural relevance. By using this website, you agree to align your personal opinions on matters of film, music, and fashion with those of the Entity, as may be amended from time to time. A list of approved opinions is detailed in "Schedule C: Objectively Correct Viewpoints," which will be furnished upon written request and the execution of a non-disclosure agreement.
8. Entity's Right to Seek Damages and Injunctive Relief
You acknowledge that any breach of these Terms of Use, particularly with respect to the Covenants listed herein, will cause irreparable harm to the Entity. Accordingly, you agree that the Entity shall be entitled to seek and obtain injunctive or other equitable relief, in addition to any other remedies available at law, to prevent or restrain any such breach, without the necessity of posting a bond or other security. Furthermore, the Entity reserves the absolute right to pursue any and all legal actions to recover monetary damages, including but not limited to, compensatory, consequential, and punitive damages, as well as legal fees and costs, arising from your violation of these terms.
9. Indemnification
You agree to indemnify, defend, and hold harmless the Entity and its creators, affiliates, officers, directors, employees, and agents from and against any and all claims, demands, liabilities, costs, or expenses, including reasonable attorney's fees, resulting from your breach of any of the foregoing provisions, representations, or warranties, and/or from your placement or transmission of any content onto the Entity's servers, and/or from any and all use of your account.
10. Intellectual Property
All content included on this site, such as text, graphics, logos, button icons, images, audio clips, digital downloads, data compilations, and software, is the exclusive property of the Entity or its content suppliers and is protected by United States and international copyright, trademark, and other intellectual property laws. Unauthorized use, reproduction, or distribution of this material is strictly prohibited and will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.
11. Governing Law and Jurisdiction
These terms and conditions shall be governed by and construed in accordance with the laws of the State of New York, without regard to its conflict of law principles. You hereby irrevocably consent to the exclusive jurisdiction and venue of the state and federal courts located in New York County, New York, for all disputes arising out of, relating to, or concerning this website and/or this agreement.
12. Severability and Entire Agreement
If any provision of this agreement shall be unlawful, void, or for any reason unenforceable, then that provision shall be deemed severable from this agreement and shall not affect the validity and enforceability of any remaining provisions. This constitutes the entire agreement between you and the Entity relating to the subject matter herein and supersedes all prior or contemporaneous communications and proposals, whether electronic, oral, or written.
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