The Beauty in Boring

I’m sitting here, writing this article from my bedroom. The only light is that of the lamp and the candles beside me. The hot tea next to me fills me with the smell of warm chai. This is how I write. 

But that’s not true. It’s a warped version of reality with a shiny little bow wrapped around it. When doing something exceptionally difficult or boring, the last thing a person wants to do is to be forced to do it without any motivation to keep them going, or without any stimulation to occupy them alongside the task. The reward of the end goal is no longer enough, there needs to be another incentive and another dopamine rush along the way. 

That’s where romanticization comes in. Romanticization, as described by the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, is “to treat as idealized as heroic”. Ever since the rise of social media, romanticization has become more and more popular as a way to pass time, a trend, and a coping mechanism all wrapped up into one beautiful package. And yes, I am aware of the fact that the second I mention something cropping up after social media was popularized seems like a cop-out, however, I would be lying if I said that the first cases of making one’s life seem sweeter were within the 21st century. 

The most commonly accepted example is the idea of “the good ‘ole days”. Speaking to most grandparents may result in stories about their childhood, in which some could “run around in the streets without parents watching” because it was so safe, or “didn’t even have to lock their doors”. Their childhood and teenage years seem to be so perfect according to them, and since then the world has gotten so much more dangerous and confusing. In reality, living through that time was hard for many people. The civil rights movement was still going on through the ‘50s and ‘60s and before that, and it wasn’t safe for everyone to get away with not locking their doors during the childhood they rave about. However, oftentimes when white elderly people look back on those times they see them fondly, ignoring all else. 

Romanticization has come a long way since then, however, the general idea has stayed the same. A person doesn’t want to think about the bad parts of something, so they make it better in their head. But in contrast to the way that it used to be, modern-day romanticization is put out on display for the world to see, broadcasted on social media by teens and young adults alike. The largest platform for videos centered around romanticization is TikTok because of its algorithm, which makes it especially easy for niche groups to find one another. The echo chamber which is then created due to the users finding one another’s videos causes a demand for more and more videos, spreading them throughout the app. TikTok is also notorious for its younger users-Gen-Z and Millennials- and the toxic culture they can create within some spaces of the app. 

But if romanticization is so pretty, then why speak about it in the context of toxicity? On the surface level, it seems helpful to make something boring or unpleasant seem nicer to yourself and others, but it gets extremely out of hand on a platform like TikTok. The most subtle examples begin with the romanticization of a school or an individual’s personal life. Generally, these videos are “aesthetic” versions of a person walking down the street, taking notes, or sitting in class. In other cases, there may be videos of someone giving tips on how to romanticize one’s life. It’s almost like adding a filter to whatever activity you’re partaking in. Yes, it’s a good thing to be able to find the beauty in the mundane and uncomfortable, however, when you warp the situation into something it’s not on a platform where millions of people will see it, it can do more damage than what can be covered up with some glitter glue. If people begin to expect their life to be just like the movies or TikToks, they’ll be sorely disappointed when they find out that people do not actually hide notes in coffee shops on an everyday basis, and being the “mysterious girl” is more than just sitting in a library alone and reading books; in fact, most people are much too preoccupied to revel in the mystery of another person. A culture has been created where the beloved stereotypes and behaviors enforced by TikTok are altering the way that teenagers and young adults act; they’ve been made out to be so unique, fun, or romantic that it’s too hard to pass up. 

The dream to make life just like a coming-of-age movie has suddenly become possible through the lens of social media. Using short clips of music pasted over hand-picked moments of your life, it’s possible to emulate whatever reality you’d like and morph it into your own creation. Even something as small as a video of a meal or a stack of books can become revolutionary. It comes to the point where every moment must be documented; anything that can be curated for an individual’s public image. Now that we as humans have a greater ability to change the way others see us than ever before, it seems the only viable way to take advantage of that ability is to nitpick our social media accounts into oblivion. Making things seem better than they are seems like a surefire way to get people to like you, right? The highs are shown off and the lows are put into “what life is really like for…” posts. Every post is up to the standards of the owner of the account, coupled with a film atop reality to make it seem more appealing. Whether that film is a filter, a script, caption or otherwise to appeal to a certain audience, or a well-done photograph, it always seems effortless. No matter what an account looks like, it can never truly reflect reality- which makes it all the more tempting to take advantage of. 

So what’s on the flipside? Other than making yourself seem slightly more adventurous, what can be the absolute harm of romanticizing your social media accounts more than usual? Eventually, after fabricating so much of your lifestyle, it gets to a point where it’s difficult to come to terms with reality. Not every second of your life will be like the movies. It won’t play out like the shows you watched when you were younger, and you may not get the girl (sorry). It’s difficult, or even impossible, for the younger generations to emerge from the “movie magic” mindset now that we’ve all grown so accustomed to it, and it may be even more challenging for the older generations to come to terms with the less idyllic parts of history that are mixed into their childhoods. Somehow, real life and the way that individuals treat it have become separate entities. 

Life events are consistently seen through the lenses of movie tropes and chased after according to what appeals to the individual. Popular media defines what is seen as “normal”, but in this case it is a major contributing factor as to what everyone should strive for to move above the average person and stand out. 

It may be a hard reality to face, but your room will never look quite like the ones from the “room tour!” Youtube videos. The jealousy that comes from this realization only makes individuals work harder to achieve the acclaimed “perfect” thing”. The walk to work is boring? Get some headphones and download this book! Alongside the consistent letdowns, the trends are always changing- too quickly too keep up. Spending money and investing time into projects that one believes will pay off only for them to fall out of fashion only continues the perpetual cycle.

In short: imagine romanticization as a McDonalds ad. Watching it, the burger looks delicious, with lots of toppings and a fluffy bun. But after ordering it, the thing has approximately two pickles and no hope of being an appetizing lunch.