From the moment a child learns to read, they are handed a script. Study hard. Score high. Get in. Make more. The script is strict, clear, and passed down through generations, and nobody questions it.

And yet, sometime between the first high five and the corner office, something was lost. The kind of loss where you don’t realize it’s gone until it’s too late. Until you’re standing in the middle of a life that looks just like success but feels nothing like it. When the promotion comes through, and the first thing you feel isn’t pride; instead, it’s the question: Is this it?

We don’t talk about that question. We were never taught to. We were handed an outline before we could question it — grades, degree, job, car — and we followed it religiously.

That is the real problem. Not ambition. Not hard work. Not even the pressure we put on ourselves to achieve. The problem is that we have accepted a universal definition of success that is too narrow and followed it with no question.

Especially with rising social media usage, society teaches that success is measured by what you can show. Not what you feel, but what others can see — the horsepower in your car, the carats in your jewelry, the square footage of your house. Even the Britannica Dictionary defines it as “wealth, respect, or fame” (Britannica). That definition shapes us before we realize it. It is reflected in the careers kids want, the classes they take, and the extracurriculars they partake in because they look good on paper. Look at who is celebrated: CEOs, celebrities, and everyone at the top. Once that definition is set, everything becomes about meeting it without question.

To be fair, money and achievement do matter. A good income provides stability, opportunities, and relieves stress. But the assumption is that more always means better; that is a lie. There is a difference between having money to solve problems and having it for designer clothing. Research from Princeton economists found that emotional well-being rises with income only up to about $75,000. After that, more money does not make people happier (Princeton). At a certain point, bigger houses, nicer cars, and fancier watches don’t increase happiness. The thing we chase stops solving the problem we think it solves. You can have the job, salary, and recognition, and still feel unsatisfied. So, if the outcome does not give fulfillment, why do people follow it?

The cracks are already starting to show. Today, students face higher expectations than ever before, and the results are not harmless. According to research by the American Psychological Association, increased anxiety, depression, and perfectionism can be directly tied to achievement culture (APA). Students may believe that their self-worth rests on achievements within the educational environment, such as a 1500 on the SAT, a 4.0, and summa cum laude; however, even after succeeding, the pressure does not stop. It just shifts to the next pressing goal, creating a loop where nothing is enough and there is always more. That is not success.

There is another way to define success, but it requires breaking away from what we have been taught. Success is not a fixed standard; it is personal. It should be built around values, goals, and what actually brings fulfillment to a person. For some, that can still include high academic achievement. But for others, it means strong relationships, meaningful work, or maybe just a balanced life. The key difference is that the definition comes from the person, not from external factors.

You have spent years being evaluated on the same percentage-based scale as everyone around you. But you are not everyone around you. If you keep measuring yourself by a standard that was never built around what actually matters to you, you will keep achieving things that don’t fulfill you. Start asking a different question, not just “What will make me successful?” but “What really matters to me?” Even though it sounds like a small shift, it’s the difference between chasing someone else’s ideals and building your own.

Success should not be something that looks impressive only to others while feeling empty on the inside. You know what happens when everybody follows the same map: anxiety, emptiness, and aimlessness. No script for life can ever apply to everyone. Until we change how we define success, we will keep chasing something that was never meant to fulfill us in the first place.

This Article was edited by Head Editor Yusuf Eltom