Conflict? Here’s a Simple Tool

When we are facing conflict or any difficult conversation or encounter, the Spark work has proven to be our most useful and constructive preparation. First, we claim our personal spark (our meditations may help if you are not accustomed to this). Once we have gotten in touch with our spark, then through it (not through our minds), we connect with and affirm the spark in the “other” or “others.” With practice, we may feel something like a stream or cord flowing between two (or more) sparks. We maintain this practice throughout the time of anticipation. Whenever we worry or project about the dreaded encounter, we derail those thoughts and instead claim and focus on this living connection.  

We have found that we can keep this focus (or return to it when we feel knotted up) throughout the conversation or encounter, like a computer’s operating system running “beneath” what is happening on the surface. As we maintain this focus, words or phrases may come into our minds, and we have learned to trust them. We practice speaking as we are led.  

The other person or persons do not need to know what we are doing; in fact, it is usually best if we do not try to explain it to them. Just let the sparks communicate with each other.

In Groups

When a group is dealing with a problem, an expansion of this same tool can be used by its members. It is fully applied when all group members are claiming their sparks while releasing any attachment to their ideas of the solution. The members claim their own sparks, connecting with and affirming the sparks of the other group members. Again, this underlying focus on the sparks’ connection is maintained as the conversation begins and continues. This, we have found, allows the solution to arise and be recognized quite easily. 

If you have questions or want to discuss using this tool, please join us at one of our teleconference sessions. Our schedule is on our events page. Or, if you would prefer, you could arrange for a training application session for your group through sparkofhumanitydotnet@gmail.com. 

Helpful? If you would like to talk with others about your experience with the technique described here, let us know by email at the above address.  If there is a wide enough interest, we might set up regular teleconversations to pool our experience and support each other.