welcome to The Porch

Parents
Don’t think for a second that I forgot about you. Honestly, you are the biggest piece of this whole thing. At the end of the day, a lot of the credit goes back to you because this process helps you truly see and understand your child... and sometimes even yourself a little better, too.

 We live in a world that moves fast. We expect our kids to “just get it,” while also expecting them to communicate their feelings, advocate for themselves, stay organized, remember responsibilities, manage friendships, regulate emotions, pack lunches...and and and. It becomes overwhelming very quickly. Then what happens? They get overwhelmed. We get frustrated because they are not responding the way we hoped. We yell, react, overreact or say things we later wish we could take back. Then everyone ends up stuck in this exhausting cycle of guilt, regret, frustration, and disconnect.

 The truth is, many of our kids are wired differently. Honestly, many of us are, too. Most of the time, they are not trying to be difficult. They are trying to feel understood. Sometimes the answer is not another lecture. Sometimes it is simply a connection.  A hug instead of yelling can calm a child’s nervous system faster than we realize, while also reminding them that home is still safe, even in hard moments.

 And dads...before you roll your eyes... no, hugs are not “soft.” Try it anyway. You might be surprised by what changes when a child feels safe before they feel corrected. Connection before correction. DAD, THIS ONE IS FREE: If Mom is in the 38-50 age range, try it with her too. Just don't squeeze too hard.