The funny 55s - 11. The Legendary Match

#11. The Legend of Match - BFDI & BFDIA (Various episodes)

I'm sure anyone could have predicted that Match was going to get her own character entry in the countdown. It was basically inevitable. Match was just such an engaging and entertaining character throughout both her stays on BFDI and BFDIA.

"OMG! We finally get to talk about me!"

Now when I sat down and prepared to write this article, there was so much I had planned and excitedly scribbled together to prepare for such an anticipated article. I certainly had a lot of fun creating it. And for good reason. Match is such a goofy and over the top character. Basically every scene she is in, is improved because she is there.

"It's because I'm so totally like amazing, It's not even close"

Match is just such an easy person for me to make fun of. To tear into and destroy her character.

But as a whole, she is one of those characters I find impossible to hate. Even when she's being a menace to everyone. I can't help but enjoy any time she was on my screen.

"The chances of you hating me are slimmer than my figure"

So right away. I need to tell you about the most important thing about this article.

This one fact will help you rationalize all the things that I am about to mention in the article.

Match is actually the smartest contestant in BFDI.

Yes, you heard me right.

She has the highest IQ of any contestant. It has been stated many times by Michael and Cary. And it has never been proven otherwise.

I know not all the contestants are here, but it still paints a picture of how high Match's IQ is

So if Match is the person with the single highest IQ among all the contestants. Then she better have enough wit to back it up.

"OMG I am like so totally like the smartest"

Yeah, Match isn't going to pass this test.

We're basically going to be mocking her for however many minutes it takes me to write this article.

Taught special relativity on YouTube; Likes Cake

Match is one of those characters who I personally can't hate since she's just too entertaining.

"It's because I'm like hot right? Maybe even hotter than Pencil?"

Not at all, Match.

It's rare that a character can lack so much self awareness that they can insult someone without even realizing they are doing that themselves.

"You have a lot of tiny wrinkles in your skin like a broken eggshell"

With the obvious exception of Ice Cube. But as usual, we pretend she doesn't exist.

Calls the firemen to open the fridge for her

So as I was saying. Match is one of those characters that whenever they say something. It's always undercut by a sly remark.

Half of the time, Match is just being passive agressive.

"Sometimes I forget Pin even has feelings"

But other times she is just so dumb she can't realize she insulted someone.

"It's okay, most people don't understand basic math until they're much older than me"

Either way. Match is just one of those characters who you can easily wrap your head around.

But once you get a clearer picture of her. She just seems as dumb as she appears.

"I never seem like anything. Because I'm so complex"

Reguardless, Match is kind of unique as a character when you take a look at her evolution.

"Well of course I'm unique. I'm like two million times more unique than you. I was born on a Tuesday"

She is the only character where throughout her time on the show, became more of her initial stereotype.

She is the only character to evolve backwards.

"That's because backwards evolution is like super hard to do, I did a study on it at Stanford"

Lets take a look at her evolution throughout the show.

Coded a open source evolution simulator

So now lets begin. What were all of the things that the smartest contestant in BFDI did?

Episode 1: Match gossips

Episode 1: Match chooses Firey to be on her team

Episode 1: Match almost drowns...

...Twice

Episode 2: Match waits...

... and complains...

... and wastes time

Episode 3: Match starts a fire

Episode 4: Match gossips about Bubble...

... to her face

Episode 4: Match defames legal tender

Episode 5: Match jumps off a cliff

Episode 6: Match locks Pencil in a box

Episode 7: Match brutalizes the Announcer

Episode 8: Match says this

"Pencil, I'm not fat am I?"

Pencil: I was just JK kidding, Match

Episode 8: Match pops Bubble, effectively sabotaging the challenge

Episode 9: Match fall off a cliff, now she's failing at originality too

Episode 10: Match plays Spongy-Cake again

She also likes dolls

Episode 11: Match reveals her worst enemy to be dimples

Episode 12: Match returns to her favourite hobby of staking

"Heyyyy, Firey"

Episode 13: Match insults Eraser

Episode 13: Match finds a maroon ball...

... and loses the contest...

... and throws a hissy fit

*whine*

Episode 14: Match sets the world record for the most incoherent final words

Episode 14: Match faceplants

Episode 20: Match fails at basic Math

Episode 20: Match fails the look of seduction

Episode 21: Match fails basic math again

*whine*

Episode 21: Match sets the world record for most tragic final words too

"Oh no, this is like the end"

Episode 25: Match calls for using gang violence

Episode 25: Match gets abducted

"OMG! We can play Spongy Cake!"

So that is the story of Match in BFDI.

A story that no one really cared about.

But here you have it.

"OMG but you didn't even talk about how I was like totally amazing in challenges"

Can't outrun a shopping cart

And now we move on to the sequel.

Arguably the better half of the two sides of Match

In this series of episodes, she manages to get even dumber.

Episode 1: Match does nothing as the 11 fan favourites (and Needle) form a team

Episode 2: History repeats itself as Match insults Ice Cube...

... to her face

Episode 2: Match dances on Spongy's grave

Episode 2: Match creates septic sludge

Episode 3: Okay this is actually pretty awesome, but Matchs shushes Golf Ball

Episode 3: Match questions Pencil's qualifications in voodoo

Episode 3: Match fails at economics

"You're a good guy! Get building a recovery center"

Episode 4: Match dances on Tennis Ball's grave...

... while complaining

"TB totally like deserved it, he's been so lazy"

Episode 4: After Gelatin dies, Match mourns for the loss of her outfit looking cute

Episode 4: Match becomes a sellout. Enough said

Episode 5a: Match becomes a badass

Episode 5a: Match contributes to the name of Freesmart

Episode 5a: Match x Gelatin becomes a popular search term on the internet

Episode 5a: Match falls for this

"Ow! What was that for?"

"We passed a library, so I'm supposed to slap you"

"Says who?"

"Says 'the Ruwlez'"

Episode 5c: Match sacrifices Ice Cube

Episode 5d: Match goes on breaktime

... and more Spongy-Cake

Episode 5e: Match blows her cover

So there you have it, a complete summary of the history of Match. One of the best, and funniest characters the show ever produced. Even if you hate her persona change in BFDIA, she still remained really funny, and in fact, she probably got more laughs out of me in season 2 than she did in season 1.

She's just such an enigmatic character, always managing to piss everyone off, and not even realize she's doing it.

And she continues to be entertaining throughout all of the times she appeared on screen. So we have that to thank for her.

It's still insane to think that this the character with the highest IQ in the show.

The face of intelligence in BFDI

So, of course. You know I wasn't going to leave this article without doing a countdown of my favourite quotes by her.

"OMG! You should like read my book of poetry"

The top 5 greatest quotes by the legendary matchstick.

Ranked from worst to best.

"Good job, sugarboyz!"

"Pencil, I'm not fat am I?"

"OMG! I know it's so like hard, but you've got to keep like like going! You've got to win this for like like like like the both of us!"

"A piece, a piece? You know we're not just objects. Well maybe Pin is. We have feelings too! But Pin's don't matter"

"It's okay, you just bake at a sub-dirt level"

P.S. When reviewing the episodes, I nearly forgot to include this.

The infamous merge-mouth

P.P.S. Also...

P.P.P.S. Also when reviewing the tapes of the episodes. I noticed something funny; Golf Ball fixes cracks with scotch tape.

Genius at work

P.P.P.P.S. I didn't always like Match as a character for the longest time. Especially in BFDIA. It took quite a while to see past her ugly personality to see how awesome she was in terms of comedy and making the show more interesting. Yes, she was a villain in season 2, but she was a good one.

P.P.P.P.P.S. Yes, for those viewers of survivor and the funny 115, I was comparing Match to Heidi Strobel from Survivor Amazon. Those two are remarkably similar.