BY MAURICE “FLYNT” PEARSON

“Love is that condition in which 

the happiness of another person

is essential to your own.”

-Robert Heinlein

When I was younger, I used to talk about all the things I wouldn’t do as a parent. How I would treat my child so much better than my parents were treating me and just be an all-around better parent. I think we all did that at some point, especially when our parents did something we didn’t agree with. Realistically, a lot of the things were minor, but it didn’t matter ’cause, minor or major, our little ignorant minds thought we knew best. Now, it’s not to say we had bad parents. It’s just more of a testament to evolution and us finding ourselves as we became older. Nine times out of ten, a lot of us will teach as we were taught, just with a little twist on it. It’s natural: We all take things into the next generation with us, subconsciously or not. For example, the saying, “I brought you into this world; I’ll take you out.” Nobody knows where that originated or how old it is, but it’s made its way through generations.

I believe our parents give us our foundation and all our early lessons, but through living, we gain our own knowledge. The things we experience throughout life allow us to create our own opinions, and from there we form a base of our own beliefs and ways of teaching. Through living and experiencing life, we create our own way of doing things. Some of us don’t drink or smoke because we grew up in addictive households. Some of us are lenient parents ’cause our parents were so strict, and others are super clingy ’cause they’re still searching for the love they didn’t get from their parents growing up. I mean, some of us were taught how to tie our shoes a certain way, and it worked for us. Throughout life, we may have found “a better way” to do it and now teach our children to tie their shoes differently from the way we learned. Whether right or wrong, minor or major, we are the way we are ’cause of our upbringing and the things we experienced.

When my princess was born, I was still very much a child myself. I didn’t think I was at the time, but I was a child. I was dealing drugs, gang-banging, and just living a life surrounded by negativity. I stepped up and was in her life from the time of her birth, but in so many ways, I wasn’t. It wasn’t ’cause I didn’t want to be, but more so ’cause I didn’t know how to be. As Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe said, “Nothing is more terrible than to see ignorance in action.” I epitomized that quote. I didn’t know I was supposed to attend doctor appointments with my child’s mother before my child was born or even after she was born, for that matter. My father was never present at my appointments when I was a child; it seemed to be my mother’s job. I was naïve, but at that time, I thought it was my job to protect her and provide for her. I wanted to be a great father, the best one ever. I wanted to be so much better than my father was, but I didn’t know how. Didn’t know how to be the dad I wanted to be, didn’t even know where to start, and then when the life I was living caught up with me, it made things even worse. I didn’t know how to be the dad I wanted to be with my freedom, but now I had to figure out how to be the best dad I could be from behind bars.

There’re people in my life who have worked with me to keep me not only relevant but present in your life, and, as you know, I’m super grateful for them. You are my everything, and though we seem to be doing more fighting lately than anything else, you, my princess, are still my best friend and the best thing that has EVER happened in my life. You complete me and fulfill me in ways that I didn’t think were possible. You understand my crazy and my logic like nobody else. We share a bond with each other as if I’ve spent every second at your side, and I’ll be forever grateful for that. I will forever be your biggest supporter and give my all to your happiness. I love you, stink! I love you, I need you, and my life wouldn’t be worth living if you weren’t in it. Not everybody understands our bond, some people even hate on it (we won’t mention names), but everybody who knows what we have together admires it. I thank you for loving me the way you do, for understanding me and being my everything. You helped me through some hard times… you saved my life. I didn’t know how to be a dad, and, honestly, I still don’t. I love you and share my experiences with you hoping that you find the valuable lessons in them. I don’t know if I’m getting it right, but I do know that I love you beyond measure: You make me better every day, and I’ve been blessed to call you my daughter.