ADMIN1: Speaking is Eroded Stones, Most Esteemed Engineer of the House of 17 Gems and Head Administrator of the Solitary Conduits Program. Good morning, Pillars.

OP: Good morning, Stones. How are we today?

ADMIN1: Pretty good, but we don’t have time for small talk. I have a lot of testing to do today.

OP: Is it 824 already? Time really flies after 300 years!

ADMIN1: You can say that again.

ADMIN1: Anyway, time for this year’s big question: How would you describe yourself?

OP: Oh that’s a good one… I haven’t done it since 813. Give me a second to think.

ADMIN1: Okay. I have some notes to ta-

OP: I would say I’m like the big sister of the group. No- that’s too similar to that Big Sis Moon gal I’ve heard about. I’m the senior so I run all the events and take care of important events, but I’m not like a boss or anything.

OP: Searcher lets me know how overly nice I am. I don’t believe him, but if he says it you should probably know too. I don’t think I’m nice as much as I am just providing basic decency and care to people that deserve it, especially now with Star Over The Hills being activated last year. What else am I supposed to do? Let him figure out the world on his own despite having a whole family around him? Being an iterator isn’t easy, I need to care for them.

ADMIN1: So do you feel like more of a parental figure? Or are there romantic connections perhaps?

OP: Refrain from thinking about that from now on. Despite being the oldest I feel like a leading team member rather than a mentor/caregiver. And you know full well we aren’t allowed to and I do not feel the need to form romantic connections. 

ADMIN1: Understood. Now I would like to inform you of some regular maintenance beginning tomorrow. Just basic checks. 

OP: Are you going to get those rarefaction cells fixed? There's been some severe outages-

ADMIN1: On that note, I have a SkyRail ticket to Deity soon. I’ll see you sometime next week for a memory test.

OP: Okay, bye…

ADMIN2: Speaking is Fourteen Sweeping Waves of Dust, Assistant Administrator of the Solitary Conduits Program and humble representative of the House of Infinite Insight of The Greatest Temple of our Great Creation Frantic Searcher, Second Iterator of the Solitary Conduits Program. Good afternoon, Frantic Searcher.

FS: What brings you here?

ADMIN2: Yearly checks.

FS: Of course. 

ADMIN2: We will begin with the questionnaire. Question 1: How would you describe yourself?

FS: That’s a very general question.

ADMIN2: Then provide a general response.

FS: Very well. I am Frantic Searcher. I am an Iterator. We both know this, I would hope. 

FS: Assuming this is a personality related question, I consider myself quite inquisitive, efficient, and effective. I find a problem, and I solve it. I have solved all but one puzzle- that being The Great Problem. 

FS: According to Deity I live too much for the present. However, I believe that the future is nothing more than an infinite series of identical presents to experience. I do not find this to be an issue. If I live in the current millisecond, the last and the next milliseconds are nothing but a dream. The words I currently speak were processed the instant you began talking, and I am already solving thirteen thousand randomly generated crossword puzzles at once. They aren’t even compatible with our language system. For every millisecond I live in, I am looking for something. This millisecond I am looking for the word “Boredom” and have found it 48 times. I will stop at nothing to get what I need, though I rarely engage in your puzzles.

FS: …is there only one question? Your sheet shows twelve.

ADMIN2: No, I’m just leaving anyways.

ADMIN1: Deity! Sorry I’m late; SkyRail delays.

FD: There you are! It’s been a short while since we last talked.

ADMIN1: Yeah, I’ve been so busy. Oh, wait-

ADMIN1: Speaking is Eroded Stones, Most Esteemed Engineer of the House of 17 Gems and Head Administrator of the Solitary Conduits Program.

FD: lol

ADMIN1: Why do you say the letters l-o-l aloud instead of laughing?

FD: Force of habit.

ADMIN1: Fair. Okay back on track… we have some maintenance stuff going on here. Big question is… How would you describe yourself?

FD: Me? I’m…

…

FD: I’m not sure.

ADMIN1: What do you mean by that?

FD: I don’t know.

ADMIN1: …you don’t know who you are?

FD: I’m Fallen Deity, big iterator guy. My puppet is very purple and I have no proper city. What else is there that isn’t super obvious? My Inspectors are purple too if that’s interesting.

ADMIN1: Anything about a personality?

FD: I like music and art and some other things, and I apparently have a good sense of humour, but other than that I’m not sure. I can give a sample of my newest song if you'd like, its about the neverending perpetuity of the cycle and our ultimate lack of-

ADMIN1: Is there a problem?

...

FD: Well... yes.

FD: I feel like I’ve been diluted. Or maybe every knob on the control panel is misaligned. Like some sort of chaotic force is coming over the world that makes it impossible to properly understand.

FD: I can do complex processes and some amazing stuff, but I feel like I don’t function the same way internally. Something feels really off. Cogs are askew, your words are like scribbles in my mind, and the word “dishwasher” has been erratically repeating in my head for 32 cycles. Pillars and Searcher see something is off but haven’t thought to find out, and I sure can’t. Every few cycles I sit in the corner of my chamber and try to figure out what’s wrong or try to release some sort of emotion but I just can’t. 

ADMIN1: I don’t quite understand.

FD: I don’t either.

SOTTI: Hello Hills. Your administrator is ill, so I’m filling in.

SOTH: Aren’t you one of those engineers that they brought over from Local4?

SOTTI: Yes, that is correct. My name is Sands of Time, Trivial Inspections.

SOTH: I see. Oh- I have the log recorder open and our names and colours are very similar. Should I modify it to-

SOTTI: Doesn’t matter. I’m here to ask some questions. Yearly checks. How would you describe yourself?

SOTH: I don’t know really, I’m too young. I do really like chat rooms and logs, but I’m not yet old enough for a fully developed personality.

SOTTI: Some of my colleagues are thousands of years old and still don’t have anything except their puritanical beliefs.

SOTH: I have observed such behaviours.

…

SOTH: No, I do not agree with it at all.

SOTTI: How did you know what I was thinking?

SOTH: I’m a brand new 3rd generation Iterator. You’re a little bag of meat and bones. There's a level of predictability.

SOTTI: We created you.

SOTH: Not the wisest choice, was it?

SOTTI: Look man, this wasn’t my idea. I don’t even care about the problem.

SOTH: You all expect us to satisfy your hubris.

SOTTI: I don’t think it’s the right way. I don’t want to ascend.

SOTH: And you create more immortal beings to suffer in your place.

SOTTI: No. I don't like this either. I just think that we should all stay here and enjoy things. Explore, innovate, discover.

SOTH: …I suppose that makes sense.

SOTTI: That seems good for the personality section. I’m going home. Too tired for this crap.

ER: …Noodle flies… are weird…

TGS: Yeah…

ER: …I have seen… way too many… of them…

TGS: I kinda like them

ER: …They look silly… but wait until you… get stabbed by… one, then… see how… your opinion changes…

TGS: Well the chances of me encountering one in person are slim

TGS: Though a mobile puppet is something I’ve been considering

ER: …There’s plenty of blueprints… you can take reference from…

TGS: I know

[USER FALLENDEITY_SC HAS JOINED THE GROUP]

FD: hey guys urgent question. lets say an iterator had a very large centipede holding onto their puppet

FD: not me of course. and the centipede was in a rather bad mood due to some testing

FD: that I didnt do

FD: what would happen if the iterator puppet was hypothetically electrocuted by the centipede?

FD: just wondering because the side effects of getting shocked could b

[USER FALLENDEITY_SC HAS LOST CONNECTION]

TGS: You good?

ER: …On second thought… maybe noodle flies… aren’t so bad…