Deviant by Ellie Sanders

ALC Review for Deviant by Ellie Sanders

A Horrific and Unflinching Look at Trauma, Survival, and Abusive Power Exchange

Author: Ellie Sanders Series: The Brethren Lords #1 Narrators: Alyssa Avery and Matthew Sharpe

From the start, Deviant is a profoundly difficult and disorienting listen. The Goodreads horror tag makes a lot of sense; this narrative isn't designed to be easy, pleasurable, or for a general romance audience. As a listener, I found myself constantly questioning where the romance was. Where was the payoff after so much prolonged suffering at the hands of Magnus Blake? The audiobook, performed in duet by Alyssa Avery and Matthew Sharpe, was a challenging listen. While Avery's "sort of Cockney" accent took some getting used to, both narrators delivered a brutal performance that was frankly, fitting for the narrative.

Just as I was about to give up on the romance entirely, a jarring moment of clarity arrived. The MMC, Magnus, was putting the FMC, Liliana, through another horrific torture, only to realize in that moment of watching her pain that he despised the idea of someone else touching what he saw as his. This was the payoff. This was his twisted, brutal, and profoundly dark version of "I love you." He wasn't a normal man, and so his love wasn't normal either. He loves her, and now he has to deal with the fact that he horribly tortured the woman who now means something to him.

This book is a masterclass in a complex, terrifying, and heartbreaking form of psychological manipulation. Magnus's love manifests as a choice: "You can kill yourself or marry me." And Liliana chooses him, realizing he has so completely "molded" her that she can no longer live without him. It's a truth that she reflects on herself, acknowledging that the former person she was would have hated this new reality, but this is who she is now.

This book did not turn me on in any way, shape, or form. It was a difficult, emotionally exhausting listen. But in the quiet after I finished, I found myself asking a profound question: who would this story be for? There are people in this world who have been through terrible molestation or torture and who have somehow, in a desperate attempt to make sense of the world, developed feelings for their abuser. Where are their stories? How are they told? It's a dark, unsettling truth that needs a space. And I think this book unflinchingly gives them a version of that truth, not as something to be glorified, but as a path to acceptance of what is and an understanding that cannot be changed. It is heartbreaking, but it may also be a form of validation.