Narcissism that flourished with “The Legend of Narcissus”

I’m more than certain that you have heard the expression “you’re narcissistic” at least once in your lifetime. What initially seems just like another word in English has, actually, its own legend. It’s about “The Legend of Narcissus”, the incredibly handsome young man, whose parents were Cefiros (the fluvial God), and Liriope, the nymph. It is said that a long time ago there was a youngster, whose beauty had never been seen before, who, even though he was loved and admired by any person who met him, remained firm towards all the attention and amorous offers, preferring hunting, a job in which he was quite good. One day, the handsome young man fell in love with Echo the nymph, but she rejected him. The pain provoked by his love had led to her death. Seeing all that had happened, Nemesis had decided to punish Narcissus, forcing him to see his face in the reflection of a river. The youngster fell in love with his image, filled with adoration, and turned into the flower with the same name. His body had disappeared, only leaving behind his beautiful daffodil and the “narcissist” etiquette.

The word “narcissist” derives from the young man’s name, having become a noun that symbolizes a great self-worship, egocentrism, indifference to others’ opinions. Although in psychology it has other different meanings, the word “narcissist” is based on “The Legend of Narcissus” and on the idea of love itself.

It’s quite interesting “The Legend of Narcissus” (an authentic narcissist) who, blinded by his own beauty, had killed himself and, at the same time, his handsomeness died too. Look how much actually matters the harmony of reasoning, not necessarily the good looks of the face. The beauty of the body, no matter of what nature, loses its charm if it’s not accompanied by the mastery of a spirit or morality. That’s why we should self-educate, both from the inside and the outside, but… we are often prone to self-mutilation! On the inside and on the outside too! How is it possible? Well, here starts the talk about narcissism itself, which, can be so deadly that it is associated with the expression “the narcissistic pathology”.

Let’s start with the beginning. No, keep calm, you don’t suffer from any disease if you have confidence in yourself and in the way you look, we shouldn’t get confused. It’s perfectly normal to feel ideal in our bodies, as long as we don’t make others, more or less, feel bad in theirs. When we step over this barrier, of harmony and balance, and start exaggerating from all points of view, we are the victims of the narcissistic pathology.

Sherlock Holmes’ time! Put on your detective coat and join me, because together we are going to identify and analyze all the incriminatory clues of a narcissist:

• He needs permanent attention, validation, and praise

• He has an exaggerated perception of personal achievements and abilities

• He needs to be convinced that he is special and needs to be surrounded by special people

• He has fantasies about fame, success, power

• He exploits and humiliates others

• He constantly feels the need for justification

• Anticipates envy from others (feels like everyone is aiming to be like him)

• Denotes reduced empathy

• It's hard for him to maintain healthy relationships

• He expects others to conform to his will

• He feels hurt when others disagree with him

• Responds to criticism through anger, shame, a sense of humility

• The pathological lie is specific to him

Narcissistic girls VS narcissistic boys

-Narcissistic women are animated by contempt/hatred for the opposite sex and unconsciously desire to punish their father;

-Narcissistic men are usually misogynistic - seeking to conquer many women, but they essentially despise them. Unconsciously, they seek revenge on their mother and will try to destroy their partner's self-esteem.

In a couple with a narcissistic person:

In a couple, the narcissist is attracted to vulnerability – vulnerable people are able to assure his adoration, dependence, and his capacity to manipulate. He oscillates between the tendency to approach people and the fear of rejection. Once the relationship becomes too intimate, the fear of abandoning intensifies and he will act badly and will reject his partner, to cause the rupture. The narcissistic person tends to blame the other one, while, for his own behavior, he always finds excuses. This happens because he doesn’t actually have interior resources to feel anything but pain. Generally, narcissists end up alone and left out of society.

All being said, do you still feel so narcissistic because of a bold story? Learn that everything is much more complex than it actually looks, and narcissism doesn’t simply appear, it does because of significant history. Even though it manifests on the inside and reflects on the outside, narcissism affects the mental development of a person, limiting his occasion of defining himself.

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editorial: Bianca Constantin and Mario Băluță

graphic design: Bianca Constantin and Natalia Velea-Grumezea

translation: Delia Apetroaei

DP (desktop publishing): Natalia Velea-Grumezea