The Jack Off Event.

On April 24th, 2026, an event was held in Red Square that encouraged anyone and everyone with the name “Jack” to congregate for a talent competition, for which the prize was to be named “King of the Jacks.” This public “Jack-Off” was a bit misleading, considering that your name didn’t actually have to be Jack to enter. Anyone was permitted to attend, and as a matter of fact, many non-Jacks were encouraged by the event coordinators to call themselves Jack and participate. The Jack Talent competition named three victors, with third place going to “Jack Pot,” a supposed Jack bearing a large cooking pot, second place going to an unknown child who attended under the name “Jack (and the) Beanstalk,” and first place went to another supposed “Jack,” who won over the judges with a mood building dance along to the Jack playlist that was playing at the event. Live coverage can be found soon on The Clamor’s Instagram.